7

votes

Has anyone ever tried to convince you not to lose weight when you really should?

Answered on August 19, 2014
Created February 19, 2012 at 4:55 PM

So I've always had a struggle trying to stay Paleo for many reason, a lot are my own problems. But I'm finding that the more I know about what others think about my attempts at eating a Paleo lifestyle, the more confused I am about my own body weight. People really don't like that I'm trying to eat this way. They think I eat very healthy when not eating Paleo and that my body is perfect the way it is. This then convinces me to have "give-up" days, as I call them, or days where I don't give a shit what I eat because no one cares how truly healthy I am.

I am a 5'6, 19 years old, female, and range from 175-180 lb. depending on the time of month. I believe it would be great to just to lose 25 lb. That would make me content with myself and put me in the normal range. I've been that weight once before and it felt good. My ultimate goal weight is 130. And I don't feel like these are unrealistic or too extreme goals.

Well, according to every single family or friend that I have, this lifestyle and those goals are nuts. "You're fine the way you are." "You have a healthy lifestyle already." (on eating gluten, dairy, whatever). My favorite so far has been "You are big-boned, you shouldn't lose that much." They even start getting angry at me for not listening to them! It doesn't matter what I say about being tired all the time, not being able to shop at certain stores at the mall because of how I look, how I can't reach any goals I make at Crossfit, how I'm always stress and hate how I look in general.

I just want some ideas on how I can convince them what I'm attempting to do is at least sane. So far, telling my loved ones that I don't feel good, that I am overweight on the BMI calculator, I'm not doing well at Crossfit, and any scientific/nutritional facts that I have mentioned has not worked so far. Or are these goals too much for me? My Crossfit coach told me that weight loss might be too much for me right now with college stress, Crossfit, and having to stick to campus dining. (I never understood this considering all the college kids that go to my Crossfit who are fit and can manage college just fine. Somehow they can do it, why can't I?)

1805757a5926dffa9ef875a81725e078

(20)

on March 01, 2012
at 02:46 PM

language is not static, it changes all the time. all kinds of words have new meanings. one is not obliged to keep up, but there is also no need to crap on others because they do.

A03adfdd71be77f20e07d800bc19e3c4

(390)

on February 23, 2012
at 06:15 AM

Not just a southern thing: I come from a fishing and building family. Hard labour. As a result we eat massive amounts of food, and food is the regarded as the solution to all problems. Bring home a skinny friend, and she or he will get a meal because she/he looks "unhealthy". What body image you feel comfortable with is your own decision, and well your husband will need to deal with the consequences. Poor him ;)

9140810eb28b318fb081c1f98c0989c8

(459)

on February 20, 2012
at 10:34 PM

All that "in recent years" part means is that many, many people have been using the word incorrectly, not that it's actually the meaning.

C79a5b43dfc5749200bd9dcaa6bb0858

on February 20, 2012
at 07:37 PM

I can so relate to that comment about the family Jenny. My mom was always warning me about about the Westendorf Waddle which refers to the large rears/thighs women in my family seem to get. She was over weight most of my life and thought she was somehow doing me a favor by reminding me not to get too big. Drove me f'ing crazy!

Af939911afa817f79a4625d4f503c735

(552)

on February 20, 2012
at 06:00 PM

Kelly, I just wanted to respond to your question about where to go for support. As everyone else here has said, you have to do what is right for you, regardless of what others think or say. Make up your mind now, and walk through it one decision at a time. It will get easier. As for support, look for "Paleo" groups on meetup.com or facebook, turn to people in the CrossFit and other fitness communities. This is not a fad or a cult. There is plenty of support from real, healthy people out there who want you to be successful. Look at upcoming events like PaleoFX and Ancestral Health.

1805757a5926dffa9ef875a81725e078

(20)

on February 20, 2012
at 04:16 PM

if you hate something, then don't do it. it's not cool--especially when you are wrong. from my Mac dictionary: "USAGE In standard use, nonplussed means ‘surprised and confused’: the hostility of the new neighbor’s refusal left Mrs. Walker nonplussed. In North American English, a new use has developed in recent years, meaning ‘unperturbed’—more or less the opposite of its traditional meaning: hoping to disguise his confusion, he tried to appear nonplussed."

D3f3b91d1dd9ce60865654faeb2ec809

on February 20, 2012
at 05:05 AM

I hate to be a pedant, here, but that's not what 'nonplussed' means.

518bce04b12cd77741237e1f61075194

(11577)

on February 20, 2012
at 04:48 AM

I do want to point out that there is a particular historic issue associated with young women losing weight quickly- because we are the highest risk for eating disorders, and many of us suffer from them, I think that a lot of our close friends and relatives exhibit especially large sums of concern towards our weight loss. It is not only their issues they confront, but their concerns over our body image and confidence. I think this can be quite a natural reaction, though it can be misleading and undermining.

518bce04b12cd77741237e1f61075194

(11577)

on February 20, 2012
at 04:45 AM

I just wanted to add, that when it comes to young women losing weight, it is not only justification, it is a long history of seeing many, many of us succumbing to eating disorders. Myself and many of my close friends have suffered eating disorders, so in a way it is quite natural for people (especially close friends and family members) to react to weight loss in a suspicious manner. It doesn't mean they don't love you- they are often acting out of concern. It is a small, but important, difference!

74c1777d7d39b053ca64c065dcdb0072

(713)

on February 19, 2012
at 11:18 PM

I did not get quite thrown out,but was explained that they do not want people working out on their own. I liked to do a heavy lift or two before the conditioning workout.

F5f742cc9228eb5804114d0f3be4e587

(7660)

on February 19, 2012
at 11:03 PM

Excellent point, sage. Though sometimes I also think folks just simply don't know what to say. It's okay to let people know how to be better listeners, too.

246ebf68e35743f62e5e187891b9cba0

(21420)

on February 19, 2012
at 09:39 PM

malapert - I usually tell them "I'm eating better than I ever have, and I don't really even exercise... I'm not starving and fat is coming off, sounds pretty healthy to me."

34b560c8b9ce660d7839fb7e29d7be89

on February 19, 2012
at 08:06 PM

Great post Shari! Support is great but self-reliance is essential. Maybe the criteria for success should be questioned. Weight alone is not a proper measurement for everyone, my BMI has creeped into the "morbidly obese" range yet at 225 I look sickly and ill and at 250 at a lower BF% I look fantastic; should I obsess about my weight or concentrate on tape-measurements? At times it seems the entire world would rather I accept failure and stop with all this nonsense. Find help and support where you can but don't expect it from anyone.

B4e1fa6a8cf43d2b69d97a99dfca262c

(10255)

on February 19, 2012
at 07:52 PM

instinctively your family and friends want you to feel good about yourself because they love you. they might be afraid that if they agree with you they will offend you or hurt your feelings. give them a pass on this if you believe they care.

98bf2ca7f8778c79cd3f6c962011cfdc

(24286)

on February 19, 2012
at 07:43 PM

Kelly yes! First of all you have NO idea at this point in your life how incredibly powerful and self-sufficient you are or can be because you have no experience with it. Yet. You will come to find at some point that the best support and encouragement is that which we give to ourselves. But yes keep looking for support. It most likely not going to come from your family or current friends and that's o.k. Most of us experience the same thing. Look for online resources like MDA maybe until you find more personal sources. Keep doing your thing!

F5f742cc9228eb5804114d0f3be4e587

(7660)

on February 19, 2012
at 07:42 PM

I forgot to mention that I got the same reaction from many friends: "But you don't need to lose weight!" I couldn't have felt less supported from their vapid cheerleading. At some point you have to get comfortable breaking your own trail.

D1908552223e8a97b17f02a90cf795bf

(487)

on February 19, 2012
at 07:41 PM

You got thrown out of a Crossfit gym? I think my coach told me that based off of what she knows about my school curriculum and requirements that it can be extreme at times to the point where I shouldn't be coming in because it's too much stress from too many things.

B4e1fa6a8cf43d2b69d97a99dfca262c

(10255)

on February 19, 2012
at 07:31 PM

stands and applauds!

D1908552223e8a97b17f02a90cf795bf

(487)

on February 19, 2012
at 07:30 PM

Then where do you go to for support? I agree with what you are saying, but can anyone be successful in weight loss if they have absolutely no support from other people? The one time in my life that I have ever lost weight, I was going to a doctor weekly that supported me fully. Any other time, it has been an attempt on my own that has failed.

22fcea5ec4415ff2238c663324aca40f

(556)

on February 19, 2012
at 06:14 PM

Most of my family is over-fat (I don't believe in saying over-weight) and I've caught a lot of crap about trying to change my body. It really hurts when the ones that care about you can't accept how awful you may feel. It's easier to just accept where you are, but there was a process involved in making you the way you are. I know it's hard but ignore them. It sounds like you need to surround yourself with more positive people. If cross-fit isn't your thing check out MovNat, it is the most natural way to get fit and maybe even help your perception.

D7cc4049bef85d1979efbd853dc07c8e

(4029)

on February 19, 2012
at 05:53 PM

As in my post below, I'm 39. But was 175 at 5' 6.5", when I was 18 I was 135 lbs. In 3 months I dropped to 150, but now I'm hovering around 138-140 after 11 months eating this way. My mother was worried with the 25 lbs drop in 3 months. I think your goal sounds reasonable. I would bet that your friends and family might be trying to be supportive in a way that directs you from falling into a body-image trap many women get stuck in and get depressed when they can't change it. I think It really is them trying to support you as you are in case you can't attain the results you hope.

Ce41c230e8c2a4295db31aec3ef4b2ab

(32556)

on February 19, 2012
at 05:33 PM

I'm 5'6", 125. Your goals sound reasonable to me. But why care what anyone else thinks? It's YOUR body! Also, arguing increasing cortisol, which will just slow down your fat loss. Relax & do what's right for you.

0607529af9b78bb5b178f7ffabdc4693

(701)

on February 19, 2012
at 05:22 PM

What's your general response back to that?

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14 Answers

13
98bf2ca7f8778c79cd3f6c962011cfdc

on February 19, 2012
at 06:50 PM

And this is why you could not PAY me enough to be 19 again! I know it's hard not to care what others think of you at your age but try to work on that. If you do it right in 20 years you truly will not give a SH!T and I promise you it's the best feeling ever.

Do what feels right to you and don't waste your time or your breath trying to convince anyone else of anything that is none of their damn business to begin with. Yes this little problem is also your own doing so cut it out. Figure out what you want to do and go do it. You don't need anyone's understanding or acceptance of whatever you decide is right for you. You're 19 not 9. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, you are wasting precious resources trying to obtain this understanding and acceptance and it's holding you back. Stop it.

Adding this for Kelly.

Dorothy: Oh will you help me? Can you help me?

Glinda, the Good Witch of the North: You don't need to be helped any longer. You've always had the power to go back to Kansas. You've had it all along.

Dorothy: I have?

The Scarecrow: Then why didn't you tell her before?

Glinda, the Good Witch of the North: Because she wouldn't have believed me. She had to learn it for herself.

The Tin Man: What have you learned, Dorothy?

Dorothy: Well, I - I think that it - it wasn't enough to just want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em - and it's that - if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with!"

Glinda: Home is a place we all must find, child. It's not just a place where you eat or sleep. Home is knowing. Knowing your mind, knowing your heart, knowing your courage. If we know ourselves, we're always home, anywhere.

98bf2ca7f8778c79cd3f6c962011cfdc

(24286)

on February 19, 2012
at 07:43 PM

Kelly yes! First of all you have NO idea at this point in your life how incredibly powerful and self-sufficient you are or can be because you have no experience with it. Yet. You will come to find at some point that the best support and encouragement is that which we give to ourselves. But yes keep looking for support. It most likely not going to come from your family or current friends and that's o.k. Most of us experience the same thing. Look for online resources like MDA maybe until you find more personal sources. Keep doing your thing!

B4e1fa6a8cf43d2b69d97a99dfca262c

(10255)

on February 19, 2012
at 07:31 PM

stands and applauds!

34b560c8b9ce660d7839fb7e29d7be89

on February 19, 2012
at 08:06 PM

Great post Shari! Support is great but self-reliance is essential. Maybe the criteria for success should be questioned. Weight alone is not a proper measurement for everyone, my BMI has creeped into the "morbidly obese" range yet at 225 I look sickly and ill and at 250 at a lower BF% I look fantastic; should I obsess about my weight or concentrate on tape-measurements? At times it seems the entire world would rather I accept failure and stop with all this nonsense. Find help and support where you can but don't expect it from anyone.

D1908552223e8a97b17f02a90cf795bf

(487)

on February 19, 2012
at 07:30 PM

Then where do you go to for support? I agree with what you are saying, but can anyone be successful in weight loss if they have absolutely no support from other people? The one time in my life that I have ever lost weight, I was going to a doctor weekly that supported me fully. Any other time, it has been an attempt on my own that has failed.

8
F5f742cc9228eb5804114d0f3be4e587

(7660)

on February 19, 2012
at 07:38 PM

I'm so sorry you're not feeling supported. I totally get what you're pointing at, and I think there are several things at work:

  1. Nobody knows what "normal" is anymore. If you don't feel good, then your body isn't where it should be, and I mean this regardless of a number on a scale.
  2. People are so freaked out about "causing" someone to get anorexia. Anorexia is a specific type of mental illness that is not contagious and affects roughly 1% of the American population. Compare that to the fact that obesity is targeting over a third of the American population.
  3. People immediately get defensive about this stuff because then they are confronted with their own issues surrounding food and their own perceived failures. Obviously not comfortable for anyone.

Honestly, at this point, the best thing you can do is stop discussing it with folks who are undermining you and secretly in your best inside-voice tell everyone (including the industrial food complex) to eff off. Live your life the best way you know how and when everyone sees how vibrant and healthy you are, they will come around. It's easier to support results than supporting talk about something. Realize you're making the best decision for your life (probably saving it) and stick to it.

Go do it, girl!

F5f742cc9228eb5804114d0f3be4e587

(7660)

on February 19, 2012
at 11:03 PM

Excellent point, sage. Though sometimes I also think folks just simply don't know what to say. It's okay to let people know how to be better listeners, too.

518bce04b12cd77741237e1f61075194

(11577)

on February 20, 2012
at 04:48 AM

I do want to point out that there is a particular historic issue associated with young women losing weight quickly- because we are the highest risk for eating disorders, and many of us suffer from them, I think that a lot of our close friends and relatives exhibit especially large sums of concern towards our weight loss. It is not only their issues they confront, but their concerns over our body image and confidence. I think this can be quite a natural reaction, though it can be misleading and undermining.

B4e1fa6a8cf43d2b69d97a99dfca262c

(10255)

on February 19, 2012
at 07:52 PM

instinctively your family and friends want you to feel good about yourself because they love you. they might be afraid that if they agree with you they will offend you or hurt your feelings. give them a pass on this if you believe they care.

F5f742cc9228eb5804114d0f3be4e587

(7660)

on February 19, 2012
at 07:42 PM

I forgot to mention that I got the same reaction from many friends: "But you don't need to lose weight!" I couldn't have felt less supported from their vapid cheerleading. At some point you have to get comfortable breaking your own trail.

8
3846a3b61bc9051e4baebdef62e58c52

(18635)

on February 19, 2012
at 05:10 PM

In some cases its simply jealousy. Some would rather you not succeed, would rather you stay a part of the herd. In the case of your crossfit coach, he has somewhat of a point. If you were concentrating on counting calories and doing weight watchers or some crap I would agree, but with paleo you should just be living it. Eat the right foods for health and just expect to reach your optimal weight. No extra stress and don't bother weighing in.

5
246ebf68e35743f62e5e187891b9cba0

(21420)

on February 19, 2012
at 05:19 PM

My favorite is when someone you haven't seen in awhile says "You look great!"

Then you tell them, "Yes, I lost X pounds last month" (any number exceeding 10lbs)

And the response "Oh, that's too fast, that's not healthy is it?"

0607529af9b78bb5b178f7ffabdc4693

(701)

on February 19, 2012
at 05:22 PM

What's your general response back to that?

246ebf68e35743f62e5e187891b9cba0

(21420)

on February 19, 2012
at 09:39 PM

malapert - I usually tell them "I'm eating better than I ever have, and I don't really even exercise... I'm not starving and fat is coming off, sounds pretty healthy to me."

5
Bdf98e5a57befa6f0877f978ba09871c

on February 19, 2012
at 05:05 PM

I've had similar experiences. I'm fairly strong and muscular, and being in theatre has made me more mobile, especially when I do physical theatre, mime, etc. I told my mentor/professor about paleo and the goals that I have for losing fat and gaining muscle. Not only would I feel better, and thus perform better, I would look better too. She thought it was absurd. But I know I could lose more of my gut.

But I'm a 5'6" male, ~160 lbs (I don't weigh often). I used to be much heavier, nearly 300 lbs, with practically no muscle. So because I am making progress, people, especially in my grad school, seem to think I am fine.

What I have found helps is saying something like, "I don't want to be fine, I want to be at my best, so I've still got improvements to make." This way it isn't necessarily just about diet or exercise. Other than that, I've found just sticking to my guns makes the point for me. One colleague even commented on how it seemed I had gotten stronger and more defined in the time he knew me. If my goals seem unreasonable to others, I can at least show progress.

Bear in mind too, what is unreasonable for others -- especially if based on CW -- may not be for you. To some people, a good BMI while eating SAD means being healthy, and being paleo would be too "strict". But paleo people, like you and me, want to push beyond that.

4
9a5e2da94ad63ea3186dfa494e16a8d1

on February 20, 2012
at 03:16 AM

I went to the doctor for a routine checkup a couple of months before going Paleo. I was about 229 pounds, the heaviest I have ever been. My blood pressure was also a little high (130/90 I think).

The doctor told me my weight was "fine", said my BP was "nothing to worry about". I mentioned some other minor issued I had been having -- GERD, sore muscles and joints, minor skin irritations, etc. and she was nonplussed. At the time I was suffering from a lot of stress and borderline depression, for which I asked for meds, but she declined (probably a good thing).

Coincidentally, a couple of months later I went Paleo and, soon after, changed my exercise regimen. I lost about 25 pounds, my blood pressure came down 10 points, and a long list of minor health problems went away. I felt amazingly great. Lots more energy, better sleep, better exercise, perfect skin, etc.

After a while it really struck me that I was basically overweight and unhealthy there in the doctor's office, and the damned doctor didn't say a thing about it. 6'0" and 229 pounds is borderline obese, my blood pressure and general health were far from perfect. And all it took was some relatively simple dietary changes to totally change my health.

This really made me realize the truth of not settling for less than optimal health. Being healthy is not just being able to get out of bed in the morning. Optimal health is being fit, happy, healthy, muscular, lean, with a good mood, good appetite, good sex drive, and lots of positive energy that gives you a positive view on life. Anyone who gives you health advice that is not telling you to do this is doing you a disservice.

9140810eb28b318fb081c1f98c0989c8

(459)

on February 20, 2012
at 10:34 PM

All that "in recent years" part means is that many, many people have been using the word incorrectly, not that it's actually the meaning.

D3f3b91d1dd9ce60865654faeb2ec809

on February 20, 2012
at 05:05 AM

I hate to be a pedant, here, but that's not what 'nonplussed' means.

1805757a5926dffa9ef875a81725e078

(20)

on February 20, 2012
at 04:16 PM

if you hate something, then don't do it. it's not cool--especially when you are wrong. from my Mac dictionary: "USAGE In standard use, nonplussed means ‘surprised and confused’: the hostility of the new neighbor’s refusal left Mrs. Walker nonplussed. In North American English, a new use has developed in recent years, meaning ‘unperturbed’—more or less the opposite of its traditional meaning: hoping to disguise his confusion, he tried to appear nonplussed."

1805757a5926dffa9ef875a81725e078

(20)

on March 01, 2012
at 02:46 PM

language is not static, it changes all the time. all kinds of words have new meanings. one is not obliged to keep up, but there is also no need to crap on others because they do.

4
D7cc4049bef85d1979efbd853dc07c8e

(4029)

on February 19, 2012
at 05:44 PM

When I changed my diet I started letting them know my progress, after 3 months I had dropped 25 pounds from 175 to 150 my mother got worried, "aren't you losing too much? Are you going to keep on the diet now that you reach a nice point?

I never thought I'd ever stop eating this way except for the single cheat meal once a week. Never crossed my mind, but that was kind of an insight into her mindset on dieting. Reach a target, go back to normal. The same normal that caused the weight gain to begin with!

As it happens I didn't stop because I remembered how much I weighed when I was 18. 130-135 lbs as a hyper fit multisport athlete. I haven't stopped and I have no intention to change, I plateaued for a few months at around 147-148. I put back a few more carbs in my diet and I eventually started back on a slow drop over a few more months down to 138-140 today.

No one in my family asks anymore if I will return to eating the SAD. I'm that "Paleo" member of the family. But I'm the example now, one brother is dabbling, an uncle is on it now and has lost dozens of pounds is off statins and off diabetes meds, my mother is now trying to figure out how she can get on it. She runs a daycare in her home and has a home full of crackers and snacks and bread and jellies.

3
74c1777d7d39b053ca64c065dcdb0072

on February 19, 2012
at 05:11 PM

Great attitude:"Somehow they can do it, why can't I?"

My attitude towards anything has always been very similar. People attitudes are too defeated in their attitudes. I switched too paleo about 1.5 years ago after toying with it on and off and people gave me crap for a few months. Then after a dramatic change in physique, everyone starts asking for diet advice.

When you say I am unhealthy to a SAD dieter, many people hear that you think they are unhealthy as well. So when they fight you on you currently being healthy, they are justifying their own habits. I try to tell people that they don't have to be sick all the time or putting on weight is not just a consequence of getting older.

I would tell my crossfit coach: Here are my goals. Can you help me get there? (I did and how I got tossed out of a box, but that's not for here ) If he says no, go to someone else. It's ridiculous to think, you cannot drop weight and do college.

D1908552223e8a97b17f02a90cf795bf

(487)

on February 19, 2012
at 07:41 PM

You got thrown out of a Crossfit gym? I think my coach told me that based off of what she knows about my school curriculum and requirements that it can be extreme at times to the point where I shouldn't be coming in because it's too much stress from too many things.

74c1777d7d39b053ca64c065dcdb0072

(713)

on February 19, 2012
at 11:18 PM

I did not get quite thrown out,but was explained that they do not want people working out on their own. I liked to do a heavy lift or two before the conditioning workout.

518bce04b12cd77741237e1f61075194

(11577)

on February 20, 2012
at 04:45 AM

I just wanted to add, that when it comes to young women losing weight, it is not only justification, it is a long history of seeing many, many of us succumbing to eating disorders. Myself and many of my close friends have suffered eating disorders, so in a way it is quite natural for people (especially close friends and family members) to react to weight loss in a suspicious manner. It doesn't mean they don't love you- they are often acting out of concern. It is a small, but important, difference!

2
1cee42e02a56ca9c13453ce4dd5cf53c

(212)

on February 19, 2012
at 07:27 PM

I weighed about the same as you when I started paleo and even had comments from others like you (big boned, you look good as is, yada, yada). I am now holding at 135 for about a year now. I have found people do not like it when others experience weight loss success. Now I get people telling me not to get "too skinny." However, I could never go back to eating the way that I used to think was healthy. Plus, my drs are amazed at blood work numbers. So what I am trying to tell you is don't let others sabotage you just because they don't want to look overweight. Do what you know you need to do to make you feel good.

1
518bce04b12cd77741237e1f61075194

(11577)

on February 20, 2012
at 04:42 AM

Honestly? If they are telling you that they accept you right now, no matter how uncomfortable they are with the prospect of you changing, remind them that they said you can be whoever you want to be and this is your choice. They already love you and care for you, they are concerned about all the scary things they were warned about regarding eating disorders, so this reaction is really quite natural! Be very clear and confident with what you are doing and what you want (I love myself, enough to change to a sustainable NOT crash diet etc), and they will trust you.

I've always had the opposite problem- I am about 150 lbs and 5"4, very curvy, and my family (especially my father) has always bugged me to lose weight. Having your relatives eyeball your hips and tell you to watch "calories in calories out" is very frustrating, and I think the fact that your relatives accepting your body is one step ahead of that. Having them accept change is a whole different ball park, but it will get easier for them as you become a vibrant, happy, healthy young woman!

C79a5b43dfc5749200bd9dcaa6bb0858

on February 20, 2012
at 07:37 PM

I can so relate to that comment about the family Jenny. My mom was always warning me about about the Westendorf Waddle which refers to the large rears/thighs women in my family seem to get. She was over weight most of my life and thought she was somehow doing me a favor by reminding me not to get too big. Drove me f'ing crazy!

1
E7fc768abe673562268fefc529f62d89

on February 20, 2012
at 03:46 AM

My entire southern family. When I'm at my happiest weight (5'5", between 120 and 125 lbs, 25" waist) they think I'm underfed. When I think I'm overweight (add 10 lbs or more) they think I'm healthy. I think it's a southern thing for them, at least. My husband used to tell me to gain some weight, too, until I did, lost my body confidence, and didn't want to be sexy for him bc I wasn't feeling it. I don't think he'll be complaining again when I'm back to my goal weight. ;)

A03adfdd71be77f20e07d800bc19e3c4

(390)

on February 23, 2012
at 06:15 AM

Not just a southern thing: I come from a fishing and building family. Hard labour. As a result we eat massive amounts of food, and food is the regarded as the solution to all problems. Bring home a skinny friend, and she or he will get a meal because she/he looks "unhealthy". What body image you feel comfortable with is your own decision, and well your husband will need to deal with the consequences. Poor him ;)

0
Bb946b3a5e81f5f0df25348674f00e13

on February 20, 2012
at 05:53 PM

Kelly- There is no reason you should allow other people to tell you what you are capable of achieving with your body! It's always best to come at things from a "how I feel" point of view rather than a "weight loss" point of view. What loved one is ever going to tell you that you should eat something that makes you feel crappy?!?! That's the tack I take with my husband and family, and it gets no arguments. I agree that it would be very challenging to keep yourself on a paleo plan in a college dining hall - ick. However, you should still have plenty of choices for healthy proteins and an adequate selction of veggies. You could always bring your own coconut oil for veggies and taters, and EVOO for salads, rather than using the n-6 junk that's likely provided. That may not be your ultimate food-quality goal, but it will nourish you and you will be light-years ahead of the eating habits of your peers. Your body will thank you by getting sick less often and handling stress better. Remember to get enough sleep!!!!!!

The thing for you to do is to set priorities for now and priorities for down the road. In order to meet your academic goals, you may have to delay certain fitness goals depending on how intense they are such as doing the Ironman or something. There is certainly no reason you can't keep yourself fit and healthy and feeling good! If that's the priority right after academic achievement, then you can definitely find some time during the day for your workout of choice, even if it means other interests/hobbies will have to be tabled for a while. I say this because I am in a similar situation now. I am a teacher, teaching full time with extra responsibilities at school, and I am earning my masters degree, and trying to get my house ready to sell. I have had to temporarily let go of other things I want to do, and I have scaled back on my physical activity. However, I have not compromised my eating or sleeping, and I have some horse-related responsibilities that get me some exercise every morning. It saddens me to give up other things I love to do, but I know it's temporary and brings me closer to my long-term goals. I have made a point to just "let it go" or the stress from being bothered by it would do me in.

Set your priorities, then take the steps you need to meet the most important ones (academic success and good health). If you have to let some other things go for now then do so gracefully, to save yourself the stress of being bothered by it, or trying to do too much. Most importantly, don't let anyone else make these decisions for you. They are not you, they don't know what your body feels like inside, and you know what is best for you. And let me say, you are so wise to be making this lifestyle change now! It may seem stressful and difficult, but you will really be a step ahead in life! Good luck!

0
D1728f99db66ff91d695a6df5cd38b02

(1368)

on February 20, 2012
at 05:41 PM

A person I know tells me all the time that their co-workers warn them when they start to get back in shape "Don't lose too much weight!" I'm almost sure that this an any other attempts to make you doubt what you really want to do is them feeling insecure that you are taking control of your life and you have enough self-esteem to want to be better. (And they see you improving, and they think it makes them look worse) You need people to support you, but right now I don't think that your family understands what you are trying to do with your diet. I suggest talking to people online who understand and just doing it! Lose fat if you want, get stronger at CrossFit and make yourself happy!

-1
77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on February 20, 2012
at 04:39 PM

I got convinced to try the 31 day fat loss cure

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