1

votes

Is it possible for a man to prefer narrow hips?

Answered on September 12, 2014
Created November 13, 2012 at 10:05 PM

I feel I've been cursed with relatively narrow hips. I'm thin all over, but I don't have a very curvy waist. I'd say I'm somewhere in between a ruler and a pear--not Kim Kardashian by any means, but not super boyish either, especially because I have moderate-sized breasts and butt. I'm actually starting a paleo diet in hopes that it will redistribute my fat to more feminine areas.

However, all these waist-hip ratio articles I see on the 'net are starting to upset me. They are saying basically that SCIENCE determines that 100% of men find a specific body type attractive (ie: tiny waist and wide hips). My stomach area is flatter/leaner, but not very curvy. I don't have that cinched little area in my waist like Kim Kardashian, it's just long and lean with some muscle definition.

I spoke to my boyfriend who said he prefers a flat, toned stomach and actually does NOT find wide hips or a waist curve that attractive, but according to all these "scientific" articles, men like him don't really exist. So I'm not even sure whether or not to believe him. isn't he supposed to be scientifically programmed to prefer wide hips?

I know there are men who are "fine" with narrow hips, but do any guys actually prefer a longer, leaner look? (not totally boyish, but not super curvy either)

Cb9a270955e2c277a02c4a4b5dad10b5

(10989)

on April 10, 2013
at 02:36 PM

Nicely put .

72cf727474b8bf815fdc505e58cadfea

on April 10, 2013
at 01:09 AM

I mean, compare curviness to sugar (sweet sweet sugar). There's no question that we all have an evolved liking for sweet tastes. But if you give a bunch of people with different concentrations of sugar water and ask them to tell you which they like best, there will be a range of preferences. Some will really appreciate a mild sweetness and others will find it bland. Some will like a super-intense sweetness and others will find it nauseating. Similarly, heterosexual men have an evolved liking for female bodies, but that doesn't mean they all want the exact same thing.

72cf727474b8bf815fdc505e58cadfea

on April 10, 2013
at 01:02 AM

Scientific articles saying that men like him don't exist are either bullshit, or being interpreted irresponsibly. Evolutionary psychology theorizing can't prove anything by itself, it has to be tested empirically. And empirical tests almost never show that **all** men prefer anything, whether it's physical features or pizza toppings. At most you find that one preference is more common than others. Even if there is an evolved tendency to prefer one kind of female body, that can be counterbalanced by many other things that influence physical preferences.

47edf681280750c3712a3a56f2eae33b

on November 15, 2012
at 08:05 AM

I resemble that remark @Joseph ;)

E253f8ac1d139bf4d0bfb44debd1db21

on November 14, 2012
at 09:43 PM

Huh? Most catwalk models have narrow hips

3b0b95dfc6dc5c18e535945f4aab0866

(2392)

on November 14, 2012
at 03:16 PM

Yes. And @wisper, you have incredible judgement regarding other women's bodies that fit your definition of "prepubescent boys" so one has to wonder why you need to demonize both them and the men that like those women...

D7cc4049bef85d1979efbd853dc07c8e

(4029)

on November 14, 2012
at 04:15 AM

I think you need to broaden your understanding of "science" and what can be said in the name of it. In other words, I'm not sure that word means what you thnk it means. Secondly, are you really so disatisfied with the quality of your boyfriend that you dismiss him?

F80562af67223c8b4a1668c0445e3cfc

(72)

on November 14, 2012
at 12:38 AM

I love that skit! OMG!

9f54852ea376e8e416356f547611e052

(2957)

on November 14, 2012
at 12:03 AM

What Dan said about science being abused is correct, but it cuts both ways. You are assuming just because most men prefer hourglass figure that all men do - which is clearly not the case. Besides, there's as much skinny porn as there is fatty porn, and everything in between. Just get over the fact that someone likes you.

8d6390b3b8991a9cb653a3d13c1cbf6a

(543)

on November 13, 2012
at 11:54 PM

You should check out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXpmHuCE9Ls The entire skit is hilarious. One of the best lines is "You just fancy her more than she is objectively attractive--which is good!"

F80562af67223c8b4a1668c0445e3cfc

(72)

on November 13, 2012
at 11:47 PM

Well this is good and surprising- I think these articles are mostly written to make bigger women feel better about having curves, but they don't address women who are naturally non curvy and being told "nobody loves you". I guess the men who like narrow hips just aren't as vocal about it. I never see memes about how great skinny girls are on Facebook, for example.

9f54852ea376e8e416356f547611e052

(2957)

on November 13, 2012
at 11:34 PM

You can look for a guy who will love you for what you are or whatever the latest quote Hollywood is feeding us AND DIE A SPINSTER, or you can just accept the fact that someone wants to be with YOU. Srsly.

9f54852ea376e8e416356f547611e052

(2957)

on November 13, 2012
at 11:29 PM

I prefer 36-24-36, but I have a male friend who likes his women's bodies looking like pre-pubescent boys. There's a taste for everyone.

9f54852ea376e8e416356f547611e052

(2957)

on November 13, 2012
at 11:27 PM

Oh ffs enough with the teenage angst; accept the compliment and the fact that a guy is happy to be with you.

F80562af67223c8b4a1668c0445e3cfc

(72)

on November 13, 2012
at 10:52 PM

No problem at all-- I just want to make sure that his opinion is scientifically possible and that he isn't just being nice.

F80562af67223c8b4a1668c0445e3cfc

(72)

on November 13, 2012
at 10:22 PM

What I'm getting the sense of, is that men might "overlook" a body like mine and love me in spite of it, but nobody will ever say "That's what I like" when they look at me. And I want my boyfriend to feel that way about me.

F80562af67223c8b4a1668c0445e3cfc

(72)

on November 13, 2012
at 10:18 PM

Well, because I don't want him to be settling for me. I want him to prefer me and think I'm his ideal. Because that's how I feel about him.

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21 Answers

15
12358894be02c2da1862ea3f4422c195

on November 13, 2012
at 10:43 PM

Er...decidedly yes. Sorry if that sounds dismissive of your concern, but I'm afraid you've fallen victim to the societal objectification of women. Allow yourself to be loved, and don't blame yourself if it ends.

7
8d6390b3b8991a9cb653a3d13c1cbf6a

(543)

on November 13, 2012
at 10:48 PM

It is one thing to say there is a waist/hip ratio that has the highest level of preference, and it is stable across cultures. It is a much stronger statement to say that all men in those cultures have the same exact preference. A flat, toned stomach sounds good to me. But then again, I'm weird as my SO can't believe that I like her toned biceps :-)

Sounds like you found a guy who finds your "quirks" appealing. I'm not seeing a problem.

F80562af67223c8b4a1668c0445e3cfc

(72)

on November 13, 2012
at 10:52 PM

No problem at all-- I just want to make sure that his opinion is scientifically possible and that he isn't just being nice.

F80562af67223c8b4a1668c0445e3cfc

(72)

on November 14, 2012
at 12:38 AM

I love that skit! OMG!

8d6390b3b8991a9cb653a3d13c1cbf6a

(543)

on November 13, 2012
at 11:54 PM

You should check out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXpmHuCE9Ls The entire skit is hilarious. One of the best lines is "You just fancy her more than she is objectively attractive--which is good!"

9f54852ea376e8e416356f547611e052

(2957)

on November 13, 2012
at 11:27 PM

Oh ffs enough with the teenage angst; accept the compliment and the fact that a guy is happy to be with you.

4
Cfe88f41d0f90c6355a58eddbe78c9f8

on November 14, 2012
at 12:28 AM

Some men prefer men's bodies to women's bodies. So I would say absolutely there's a range of preferences at work in what a particular male finds attractive.

47edf681280750c3712a3a56f2eae33b

on November 15, 2012
at 08:05 AM

I resemble that remark @Joseph ;)

2
8c35741e206d4f1fbabe3e1dcfb596c1

on May 03, 2013
at 01:59 AM

I'm a purely hetero guy and I'm MOST attracted to women with what some call a boyish figure. My sister says I like stick-girls and I guess it's true. I saw Suzzanne Vega in concert with a stick girl as my date and I didn't know which one I liked more. I don't like big boobs and I don't like big hips. I love the subtle curves, not the pronounced ones. I'm old now. Too bad because I'd love to see what you look like. :)

2
7bf306ada57db47547e9da39a415edf6

(11214)

on April 10, 2013
at 01:54 PM

Statistics, being what they are, tend to say a lot of people don't exist. Your boyfriend is an outlier. An outlier is a person who doesn't fit the statistics. Statistics suggest, for instance, that even if people lose weight they will regain it within two years of losing it and probably gain even more weight on top of that. I have managed to become an outlier- i.e. I lost it and kept it off for over two years.

The other deal is you are a whole person, and the boyfriend probably likes other parts of you, even intangible parts he can't actually see. Your pheremones may be signaling to him that your dna and his would mix well and produce healthy offspring.

Now this hip/waist ratio thing is also tied into producing healthy offspring, so that's why men are generally wired to notice it.
I don't know if you can improve it in the gym or not, but it probably would be worth it if there were some exercises to focus on. This is the male mentality- oh, there's an ideal? Let me see how close I can come to it. This is why I go to the gym and try to get what Art DeVany calls the X look. I'm never going to be perfect, but as if I look back at where I've been and then look in the mirror, well I get a big smile on my face. So, please don't take this suggestion the wrong way. I just think ideals do exist and there is a way to have a healthy relationship with them.

Cb9a270955e2c277a02c4a4b5dad10b5

(10989)

on April 10, 2013
at 02:36 PM

Nicely put .

2
543a65b3004bf5a51974fbdd60d666bb

(4493)

on November 14, 2012
at 03:58 AM

Is it possible for a man to prefer narrow hips? Yes

2
194d8e8140425057fe06202e1e5822a7

(3979)

on November 13, 2012
at 11:28 PM

Believe your boyfriend. I prefer narrow hips too. Claims that everybody's like one way are just wrong. YMMV, everyone's different. Science is abused.

F80562af67223c8b4a1668c0445e3cfc

(72)

on November 13, 2012
at 11:47 PM

Well this is good and surprising- I think these articles are mostly written to make bigger women feel better about having curves, but they don't address women who are naturally non curvy and being told "nobody loves you". I guess the men who like narrow hips just aren't as vocal about it. I never see memes about how great skinny girls are on Facebook, for example.

9f54852ea376e8e416356f547611e052

(2957)

on November 14, 2012
at 12:03 AM

What Dan said about science being abused is correct, but it cuts both ways. You are assuming just because most men prefer hourglass figure that all men do - which is clearly not the case. Besides, there's as much skinny porn as there is fatty porn, and everything in between. Just get over the fact that someone likes you.

1
81feb1022a28f534867616b9316c7aa4

on April 10, 2013
at 02:50 AM

Seriously don't believe everything you read on the internet. In no way am I trying to sound like a bitch, but seriously stop worrying so much about it. It sounds to me like you have a great body! Paleo won't change your body type, you need to learn to love it. And if what you read on the internet makes you upset, then STOP reading it. Through 'scientific' articles on the internet you can prove almost anything! Really there is much bigger things to worry about, your BF finds you sexy and that's what matters!!

1
72cf727474b8bf815fdc505e58cadfea

on April 10, 2013
at 01:13 AM

Scientific articles saying that men like him don't exist are either bullshit, or being interpreted irresponsibly. Evolutionary psychology theorizing can't prove anything by itself, it has to be tested empirically. And empirical tests almost never show that all men prefer anything, whether it's physical features or pizza toppings. At most you find that one preference is more common than others. Even if there is an evolved tendency to prefer one kind of female body, that can be counterbalanced by many other things that influence physical preferences.

I mean, compare curviness to sugar (sweet, sweet sugar). There's no question that we all have an evolved liking for sweet tastes. But if you give a bunch of people different concentrations of sugar water and ask them to tell you which they like best, there will be a range of preferences. Some will really appreciate a mild sweetness and others will find it bland. Some will like a super-intense sweetness and others will find it nauseating. Similarly, heterosexual men have an evolved liking for female bodies, but that doesn't mean they all want the exact same thing.

1
78d089bc8d5feaed2710005e4456edbe

on November 14, 2012
at 11:44 AM

They are saying basically that SCIENCE determines that 100% of men find a specific body type attractive

This probably doesn't need to be stated, but science doesn't determine as in decide, it uncovers. If a man is found who is incorrectly described by the science referred to above, that science needs to be updated.

Regarding the question, yes. Preference can be influenced by a lot of things. One might prefer breasts to not be too big, because of a reaction, early on, to the notion very big breasts as an ideal. Or a man might have a preference for women with a certain hairstyle, because when he grew up, that was the hairstyle of models that were ideals of beauty.

I would be surprised, if all the characteristics of your boyfriend is what you would prefer having not met him, and if he is the handsomest of the handsome, the brightest of the bright and the most charming of the charming, both according to what science says, and according to you. If so, you're lucky.
The way I have understood things, your boyfriend is probably like you, so that he prefers you, because he/his feelings has/have decided that you are the one loves.

1
Fd7b128cf714044a86d8bd822c7a8992

(4292)

on November 13, 2012
at 11:25 PM

Just because men in general find a certain feature attractive, doesn't mean that all men will be exactly the same. I could also make a blanket statement that "humans are born with 2 arms," but I know a man who was born with only one, because he has a birth defect. None of us are exactly the same.

Also, you are more than your hip-to-waist ratio. And I don't mean that in the sense of "your [eyes/sense of humor/whatever] make up for it." I mean that factors like posture, the way you carry yourself, or how you move your body all influence the overall impression of your physique. It also depends on the proportions of the rest of your body. I don't think it's particularly useful to focus on just one ratio as though your boyfriend only looked directly at you from the front while you stood straight and still. It's the overall impression that determines "attractiveness," and you can't get that just by the one measurement.

1
Medium avatar

on November 13, 2012
at 10:47 PM

I accept no 'scientific' 'facts' about personal taste. Even if some instincts can be boiled down to pure, genital-rubbing urges to procreate, the fact is that an ugly personality will turn people off to physical aspects often enough, and that some people will find 'scientifically' unattractive body types drool-worthy because attraction is so much more complex than waist-hip ratio. The fact is, that doesn't matter unless someone finds a particular trait so offensive that they can't be with a person regardless of the whole package. And when does that happen? Not very often.

1
00cd3b6f51530a6832fcda1712edbec3

(2411)

on November 13, 2012
at 10:10 PM

For every body type, there's usually somebody else that finds it attractive. But honestly, pheromones, vitality, nuturing, and other psychological factors (good and bad) have played a much larger role in my ultimate attraction to women.

Regarding your boyfriend, why not accept that he wants to be with you? That seems a lot more important than any scientific study.

F80562af67223c8b4a1668c0445e3cfc

(72)

on November 13, 2012
at 10:18 PM

Well, because I don't want him to be settling for me. I want him to prefer me and think I'm his ideal. Because that's how I feel about him.

F80562af67223c8b4a1668c0445e3cfc

(72)

on November 13, 2012
at 10:22 PM

What I'm getting the sense of, is that men might "overlook" a body like mine and love me in spite of it, but nobody will ever say "That's what I like" when they look at me. And I want my boyfriend to feel that way about me.

9f54852ea376e8e416356f547611e052

(2957)

on November 13, 2012
at 11:34 PM

You can look for a guy who will love you for what you are or whatever the latest quote Hollywood is feeding us AND DIE A SPINSTER, or you can just accept the fact that someone wants to be with YOU. Srsly.

0
32dfe677887fc5bbbfdc16846c7667e7

on July 24, 2013
at 09:22 PM

I cant believe that I am reading your post and that I am finding that you have problem with your body beeing like that, because i have absolute crush on girls with small/narrow hips, and the problem with that is that most of the girls have little wider hips.. so.. hmm :)) Interesting to read your post.. i wish i could somehow help eliminate your point of view on this subject, dont know how, maybe let you see trough my mind/eyes, and understand how good looking is what you have described.. at least for me, but I guess other guys have similar taste. point is there is variety of tastes.. and you are in my fantasy folder, hah :)

0
0905a0f8cd1e48f6d39fe625a65b6ef1

(2890)

on April 10, 2013
at 01:17 PM

Honestly, I'd rather have a man who loves me for my mind, my creativity, my passion, and my dreams. And, lucky me, I've found such a guy. And I love him for his mind, his creativity, his passion, and his dreams. And he is bald and sexy as heck with his older body.

Eat well. Play well. Put down the flippin' measuring tape, stop looking in the mirror. There is life beyond the reflection.

signed, older and wiser and sexy as heck with my wrinkles and post-menopausal body

0
048dd52752c45129c1212bfffb37ca72

on April 10, 2013
at 10:16 AM

I think that most men prefer a curvy hip/waist ratio than a flatter one, for sure. Seems that this curvier ratio delivers info to men that her partner has good estrogen-to-androgen balance that may play a role in how much desirable is she from a reproductive point of view. I remember having read some studies trying to find which ratios were preferred by men from many cultures, although I don't remember if they found some real patterns, with predictable outcomes or if all this is really true.

BTW, most friends I have talked about this, we almost see it in this direction, many of us who stated the opposite was when had our relative sitting near us (pretty biassed then hehe).

But, I think that changes in society play a great role in choosing/liking our partner, and more evolved criteria can lead to choose a partner that does not ideally conform to our perfect physical idea. Being aligned with our goals in life, way of thinking, joyfulness, character, intelligence, how we get altogether, ideals, values... all this plays an important role that can displace very much the physical one. So maybe nowadays it's not something to worry all that much.

For instance, my girlfriend is pretty skinny. It's not that I specially like that about her, but other things out-weight this. We still have a heart, I guess :)

0
1a91ec126b2b4189539b028d2767e518

(320)

on April 10, 2013
at 07:07 AM

I would wager that these studies that you mention are probably like a lot of other ones. They are conducted using college students as the subjects. This is a narrow slice of life that does not reflect the wide range that you'll find out there.

Don't obsess. Your boyfriend is not alone in his preferred body type. Count me as another.

0
D31d36ee6d73f679ce0738ef02f541e3

on April 10, 2013
at 12:45 AM

Most of men like feminine women with a proportionate figure. They might be fatter or slimmer, but proportionate. It is human nature. Maybe some like something else...

0
D3abaaead845d9da842938514ddb24bf

on November 14, 2012
at 01:27 AM

Im no guy, but I can personally say I am kind of jealous of you having a boyish figure. It was how your made though, be proud and live it up! Oh and social media sucks, there is no way they can account for every guy out there...

0
Cc3ce03985eac5ebcbb95fc2329f13b0

on November 14, 2012
at 12:31 AM

There is a huge swath of likes and desires out there, and studies don't usually reflect the whole of reality, just one, tiny part of it. I've met men attracted to very large women, very small woman, clean shaven women, women with beards, women that are part men, women on their way to being men, big booby women, flat chested women, women with long, long hair, women who are bald, women with hips that could kill you at fifty paces, and women with a more linear hip profile. I have known men attracted to all those things at once, none of those things ever, and a constanly different thing depending on the day of the week.

Forget those studies.

-1
668973d60f4ab19b41135236c14c4cdc

on November 14, 2012
at 05:15 AM

Is it possible that you are an attention starved whore with daddy issues, that will seek out any means necessary to get some sort of validation from others? Get ready for a long lonely life filled with cats.

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