10

votes

Vegetarian Houseguest - WWYD?

Answered on September 12, 2014
Created June 17, 2011 at 2:27 PM

Put yourself in my shoes and help me to get through this. My vegetarian mother in law is coming for a two week visit. She is a lacto ovo vegetarian who cannot "take the smell of flesh". What would you do? How would you tackle this?

Cebbca9a78d5612bf3468b273c2010d5

(452)

on August 28, 2012
at 09:10 PM

I totally read "smell of FISH", too! It wasn't until I read your Answer here that I realized my mistake (and had been wondering why everyone said cold meats...)

1fc9c11cf23b2f62ac78979de933ad83

(2435)

on June 25, 2011
at 03:02 PM

Even better, ask her if she had been veggie while raising her kids, ask how she would have felt if someone slipped them a hot dog.

1fc9c11cf23b2f62ac78979de933ad83

(2435)

on June 25, 2011
at 02:58 PM

Tell her that soy makes them break out in to rashes.

116d23135449332a8bf9106220cf632b

on June 18, 2011
at 07:05 PM

http://raspberrycoconut.com/2011/06/18/thai-eggplant/

116d23135449332a8bf9106220cf632b

on June 18, 2011
at 07:05 PM

Here's my recipe for Thai Eggplant. Add a bag of frozen edamame and you have a balanced vegan dinner. There's a video as well! http://raspberrycoconut.com/2011/06/18/thai-eggplant/

Af1d286f0fd5c3949f59b4edf4d892f5

(18452)

on June 18, 2011
at 03:32 AM

high comedy right there caverat

Fe29f6658ce67c1ecc4a22e960be7498

(2997)

on June 17, 2011
at 10:57 PM

Holy Wow - I'm saving this in case I ever have a vegetarian mother-in-law!

Fe29f6658ce67c1ecc4a22e960be7498

(2997)

on June 17, 2011
at 10:40 PM

Plus, for fun, you can always sneak beef tallow into her vegetarian lasagna (kidding!!!)

4b61b13ed39e5c5d01fe234900cadcf8

(1138)

on June 17, 2011
at 10:39 PM

wow! great answer and I am totally stealing a lot of these meal ideas. I've been in a rut lately!

Medium avatar

(19469)

on June 17, 2011
at 08:49 PM

Hmm...much better than my idea of "hold her down and stuff beef liver into her mouth."

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on June 17, 2011
at 06:51 PM

That's a GREAT point. I do say no Quorn or Tofurkey crap. She sneaks that soy stuff on my boys sometimes - it pisses me off and she know it! I wish it was just chocolate!

A912ff969107d3eda04ee78c683a6bc5

(178)

on June 17, 2011
at 05:39 PM

I don't really thinks that's throwing MIL under the bus. If she's the controlling sort then she might have to stay at a motel and not be invited back. So much history goes into this. She did raise Meredith, I guess? But Meredith is grown up now and can make her own choices. Mother should respect that. If she can't then maybe she won't be welcome to stay. You may not want to go visit Mom if she wants to be bad about it. She may back down when she misses out on the grandkids. They are the most fun part of getting old. They are usually little angels for Grandma/pa. Good luck!

D30ff86ad2c1f3b43b99aed213bcf461

on June 17, 2011
at 05:31 PM

Yea...a giant shrimp cocktail ring from Sam's or another store may be a good cold lunch staple at some point without making the house smell more like flesh. ;-p

A968087cc1dd66d480749c02e4619ef4

(20436)

on June 17, 2011
at 05:26 PM

I'd stock up on eggs and cheese (and cream and butter). I would think that cold meats (shrimp/roast beef) wouldn't nauseate her as much - see if that helps. Gotta talk to her about her expectations...

Af1d286f0fd5c3949f59b4edf4d892f5

(18452)

on June 17, 2011
at 05:14 PM

yah famgrok knows how to bring it

1fc9c11cf23b2f62ac78979de933ad83

(2435)

on June 17, 2011
at 04:56 PM

I know this isn't exactly what you asked, but major concerns for me about leaving my kids with their grandparents.

1fc9c11cf23b2f62ac78979de933ad83

(2435)

on June 17, 2011
at 04:44 PM

Would providing a suitable and delicious alternative fully fix this insensitivity? I have Muslim friends, and when I have brunches I make them chicken apple sausages since they obviously won't be eating the bacon or pork sausage.

1fc9c11cf23b2f62ac78979de933ad83

(2435)

on June 17, 2011
at 04:40 PM

Hahahahaha! Organic pop tarts...

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on June 17, 2011
at 04:22 PM

Holy ... amazing answer!

145d4b0f988af15acc6b26eccc1f4895

(1932)

on June 17, 2011
at 04:19 PM

Thanks for understanding, Karin. 'Tis true - not all MIL's are exactly alike. I know, having had two of them....it can be a challenge! And of course MY challenge is to not put that burden on my DIL or son! Mine has been married 10 years, and so far, so good.

Af1d286f0fd5c3949f59b4edf4d892f5

(18452)

on June 17, 2011
at 04:00 PM

right on meredith. i like it.

A65499f2f8c65602881550fe309cd48c

(3501)

on June 17, 2011
at 03:50 PM

@Gharkness...you're right. I'm speaking about MY MIL. But I guess what I could have written (and wish I could more eloquently) is that she I think it makes her feel better when I ask for her input, get her involved...etc. I suppose "upper hand" is a bit dramatic but she can be that way. It just helps keep the peace at MY house when I give her that. I am close to be a MIL and I truly walk that delicate line. It's different in every situation.

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on June 17, 2011
at 03:42 PM

@ familygrok - upvote upvote upvote!!! Everyone much watch this! Made my morning!

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on June 17, 2011
at 03:40 PM

I am focusing on all of the fun we will have, all of the free babysitting I will get, and all of the good times we will share. I'm just going to run my house the way I do every day and expect there will be no problems. Thanks - I like the way men tackle interpersonal stuff. I need me a little more "Y".

3aea514b680d01bfd7573d74517946a7

(11996)

on June 17, 2011
at 03:39 PM

Paging Emily Litella... :)

145d4b0f988af15acc6b26eccc1f4895

(1932)

on June 17, 2011
at 03:38 PM

"In my experience with mine, MIL's are about the "upper hand"...let them "think" they have the upper hand and life is good" but definitely not THIS. MIL's are people too, and if you are lucky, and your personal situation allows it, you will be a MIL someday. MIL's are not all about "the upper hand." They may not always understand things they way you do, but they often just love their kids and show it differently. I AM a daughter-in-law and I AM a mother-in-law. It's a tricky rope to walk....please don't have preconceived notions :-)

145d4b0f988af15acc6b26eccc1f4895

(1932)

on June 17, 2011
at 03:33 PM

"ask her what she would like to do **while you cook your food**" Yes, THIS, because it indicates that 1) you are willing to help her out with her wishes, but yours will also be honored.

D30ff86ad2c1f3b43b99aed213bcf461

on June 17, 2011
at 03:31 PM

Probably won't earn MIL brownie points if you take this approach: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKTsWjbjQ8E

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on June 17, 2011
at 03:29 PM

I agree totally. I am thinking buffet style dinners and serve yourself is the way to go! Also, separate platters.

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on June 17, 2011
at 03:26 PM

The amazing husband she raised managed to turn out to be a hunter! This I say to those moms who try to control every little thing, dietary or not, that their kiddos do!

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on June 17, 2011
at 03:24 PM

If I keep enough wine and organic pop tarts in the house I may be all set!

A65499f2f8c65602881550fe309cd48c

(3501)

on June 17, 2011
at 03:20 PM

upvote for wine! wish my MIL was a drinker :) (well, maybe not... maybe it's best she doesn't)

9a5e2da94ad63ea3186dfa494e16a8d1

(15833)

on June 17, 2011
at 03:12 PM

Jeez, throwing the mother-in-law under the dietary bus! Not the shortest path to domestic harmony...

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on June 17, 2011
at 03:06 PM

amen. bring it on shirley

E7be2ce38158357f5dacae07b43d1b29

on June 17, 2011
at 03:05 PM

Have you opened a conversation with her about this? I would, and pronto. We can give you all kinds of ideas, but both of you need to be prepared for this, not just you. Communication.

Aead76beb5fc7b762a6b4ddc234f6051

(15239)

on June 17, 2011
at 03:00 PM

a two week visit from your mother in law....youre a saint.

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19 Answers

best answer

14
Af1d286f0fd5c3949f59b4edf4d892f5

(18452)

on June 17, 2011
at 03:33 PM

Totally agree with Carl here. Totally. It's not Meredith's fault that her mother in law is vegetarian and doesn't like meat. If she is willing to come for 2 weeks, she must already know what she's in for.

See this is where many close friends and family get into real trouble in relationships.

  • Fear of straight-forward communication

The "what will they think if I put my foot down" fear. You will basically never have this fear when you know that you are dealing with a rationally thinking, level headed person. It is only when you have observed irrational thinking from the person in question that brings the fear.

It's a beast. But you gotta learn to master how to handle it.

You gotta take the desire to keep peace and have a good time and build yor relationship with her further and balance it with the importance of not being bulldozed by fear of what the other person will think about your "gumption" to include your own preferences.

She may actually take to it just fine. Definitely gotta give her a chance before jumping to conclusion in your own mind and driving yourself bonkers only to find out that she has actually thought through it well and there was never a problem to begin with... only a false fear.

Either way, you will feel best, and respect yourself the most if you communicate openly and confidently.

All the best to you on this one Meredith :)

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on June 17, 2011
at 03:40 PM

I am focusing on all of the fun we will have, all of the free babysitting I will get, and all of the good times we will share. I'm just going to run my house the way I do every day and expect there will be no problems. Thanks - I like the way men tackle interpersonal stuff. I need me a little more "Y".

Fe29f6658ce67c1ecc4a22e960be7498

(2997)

on June 17, 2011
at 10:40 PM

Plus, for fun, you can always sneak beef tallow into her vegetarian lasagna (kidding!!!)

Af1d286f0fd5c3949f59b4edf4d892f5

(18452)

on June 17, 2011
at 04:00 PM

right on meredith. i like it.

19
Ef9f83cb4e1826261a44c173f733789e

on June 17, 2011
at 02:39 PM

To be blunt, if she wants you to respect her diet, she should respect yours. It's your house and she is the guest. I would stock up on food that she eats (and get some recipes ready), but still eat what I want.

A912ff969107d3eda04ee78c683a6bc5

(178)

on June 17, 2011
at 05:39 PM

I don't really thinks that's throwing MIL under the bus. If she's the controlling sort then she might have to stay at a motel and not be invited back. So much history goes into this. She did raise Meredith, I guess? But Meredith is grown up now and can make her own choices. Mother should respect that. If she can't then maybe she won't be welcome to stay. You may not want to go visit Mom if she wants to be bad about it. She may back down when she misses out on the grandkids. They are the most fun part of getting old. They are usually little angels for Grandma/pa. Good luck!

9a5e2da94ad63ea3186dfa494e16a8d1

(15833)

on June 17, 2011
at 03:12 PM

Jeez, throwing the mother-in-law under the dietary bus! Not the shortest path to domestic harmony...

16
D30ff86ad2c1f3b43b99aed213bcf461

on June 17, 2011
at 03:52 PM

I think this is tough, but not impossible. Besides the obvious tack of dedicating one of your meals daily to eggs, you'd have to get creative to have the house fairly odor-neutral to your MIL. (Though what on earth does she do eating out? Surely she doesn't frequent only veggie/vegan restaurants?) I think that you can minimize impregnating the house with the smell of cooking meat, but to be fair your MIL should be willing to tolerate a microwaved or stir-fried meat smell here and there for the sake of HER compromising as a guest! (After all you aren't forcing her to eat it!)

I know from experience the frustration of living in close quarters with parents and inlaws who don't share the same eating lifestyle. Here's my rough sketch of one of the week's potential menus for a meat-averse lacto-ovo staying at a paleo household. There are some compromises but it largely keeps the house from smelling like meat for any long period of time. Hopefully it gives you some ideas?

Sunday

  • Breakfast - fried eggs, fruit salad
  • Lunch - assemble-your-own salads with loads of different ingredients, you can add Trader Joe's nitrate free precooked bacon to yours
  • Dinner - Assemble-your-own stir fries. Eat outside - send your MIL outside with her just cooked stir-fry (over white rice if she needs more), and then cook your meat to go with your own stir-fry.

Monday

  • Breakfast - Cheese and veggie quiche, bananas
  • Lunch - Veggie soup from the crock pot for MIL, you can add some frozen or cooked-beforehand meat to yours
  • Dinner - Grill out kebabs. All-veggie kebabs for your MIL, add some meat or shrimp to yours. Keep MIL inside or otherwise away from the grilling area lest the smell of carnage (yum!) does her in.

Tuesday

  • Breakfast - Fruit / coconut milk smoothies. Add some protein powder to yours if you like.
  • Lunch - A picnic. Egg salad (I ususally just mash up freshly boiled eggs with some salted Kerrygold and pepper...the butter mixes with the yolk and chills/sets pretty nicely), rice crackers if you like, various fruit and fresh veggies, maybe some gourmet cheese and wine.
  • Dinner - Make a massive insalata caprese (fresh mozzarella, tomatoes, basil leaves). Add a whole lot of prosciutto or Trader Joe's nitrate-free precooked bacon to the salad for the meat-eaters. Toss in some chunks of avocado if this isn't big/filling enough.

Wednesday

  • Breakfast - Cottage cheese with sliced fruit
  • Lunch - Tzatziki dip with veggies, cold cuts for the meat-eaters
  • Dinner - Spring rolls. The rice paper is basically harmless starch, so it's a worthy compromise. Cook some meat or shrimp while you send MIL sight-seeing or shopping. Vent the house with open windows while the meat cools. Roll MIL's rolls without meat/shrimp. Other ingredients: rice noodles, shredded pickled veggies, cabbage, etc.

Thursday

  • Breakfast - Yoghurt with honey and macadamia nuts
  • Lunch - Omelettes made to order (or make MIL make her own!)
  • Dinner - Assemble-your-own taco salads. Again, eat outside, and cook your ground beef (or other meat) last while mother-in-law sits outside enjoying a pre-dinner cocktail.

Friday

  • Breakfast - Miniquiche muffins
  • Lunch - Chipotle or other meal out. Because you truly deserve it if you've made it to this point in the week without snapping!
  • Dinner - Pizza - a tolerable 'cheat' with Chebe pizza flour (or your gluten-free pizza crust of choice).

Saturday

  • Breakfast - Crepes - there are great recipes with a little coconut flour added - with fresh fruit and mascarpone
  • Lunch - Leftovers...surely there are some by now?!
  • Dinner - Head to your local steakhouse. Let MIL figure it out herself from the menu.

Af1d286f0fd5c3949f59b4edf4d892f5

(18452)

on June 17, 2011
at 05:14 PM

yah famgrok knows how to bring it

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on June 17, 2011
at 04:22 PM

Holy ... amazing answer!

4b61b13ed39e5c5d01fe234900cadcf8

(1138)

on June 17, 2011
at 10:39 PM

wow! great answer and I am totally stealing a lot of these meal ideas. I've been in a rut lately!

Medium avatar

(19469)

on June 17, 2011
at 08:49 PM

Hmm...much better than my idea of "hold her down and stuff beef liver into her mouth."

Fe29f6658ce67c1ecc4a22e960be7498

(2997)

on June 17, 2011
at 10:57 PM

Holy Wow - I'm saving this in case I ever have a vegetarian mother-in-law!

Af1d286f0fd5c3949f59b4edf4d892f5

(18452)

on June 18, 2011
at 03:32 AM

high comedy right there caverat

9
25329057c9d5f6364a74787c8c2302e7

on June 17, 2011
at 03:18 PM

Get ready to cook more eggs than you'd ever cared to. I read "smell of fish" at first, which wasn't as bad as "smell of flesh". Cook meats out on the grill as a way of demonstrating you are trying. Buy precooked chickens from the grocery store. Make sure you serve her lots of wine to keep her distracted.

Alex from PaleoPax

1fc9c11cf23b2f62ac78979de933ad83

(2435)

on June 17, 2011
at 04:40 PM

Hahahahaha! Organic pop tarts...

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on June 17, 2011
at 03:24 PM

If I keep enough wine and organic pop tarts in the house I may be all set!

A65499f2f8c65602881550fe309cd48c

(3501)

on June 17, 2011
at 03:20 PM

upvote for wine! wish my MIL was a drinker :) (well, maybe not... maybe it's best she doesn't)

Cebbca9a78d5612bf3468b273c2010d5

(452)

on August 28, 2012
at 09:10 PM

I totally read "smell of FISH", too! It wasn't until I read your Answer here that I realized my mistake (and had been wondering why everyone said cold meats...)

8
Medium avatar

(4878)

on June 17, 2011
at 02:55 PM

When I was a veggie, I had no problem with packing my meals, she should expect to do the same.

Be nice, be polite, but explain that your family also has dietary needs that you feel are best managed with a Paleo diet. She can leave the kitchen when you're cooking.

8
Af9537cfa50562b67979624e9007e12a

(1334)

on June 17, 2011
at 02:47 PM

yep, what Carl said, feed her what she wants, cater to her somewhat, but she needs to let you be yourself in your own house. She can sit in the yard while you cook your food. If she is a bitch to you about it, your husband needs to make her knock it off.

5
9a5e2da94ad63ea3186dfa494e16a8d1

on June 17, 2011
at 03:27 PM

A good friend of mine is vegetarian and we have dinner about once a week. We really have absolutely no problem finding food that we both enjoy. He is "ovo/lacto" vegetarian with some seafood. I usually cook foods that we both like and we each eat what we like. I skip the pasta and rice, he skips the meat, my family eats basically everything but according to their preference.

It isn't really that hard, as long as everyone has respect for the other viewpoints. Treating a house guest as a second-class citizen because they have a different diet than you is very rude. Would you also disparage a house guest who is Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, or some other culture or religion that has dietary restrictions? Learning how to get along with people who are different than you is a virtue.

You can use this as an opportunity to explore unusual ingredients that are both Paleo and vegetarian, for example, seaweed salad, purple tubers, seasonal non-starchy vegetables, etc. It can become fun for everyone to find the common culinary ground.

Another friend of mine (decidedly not vegetarian) who is an avid cook but culturally clueless had an office party at his house, and among the guests was a muslim who had recently come to the US. He made... pork ribs. I was absolutely aghast at his insensitivity.

1fc9c11cf23b2f62ac78979de933ad83

(2435)

on June 17, 2011
at 04:44 PM

Would providing a suitable and delicious alternative fully fix this insensitivity? I have Muslim friends, and when I have brunches I make them chicken apple sausages since they obviously won't be eating the bacon or pork sausage.

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on June 17, 2011
at 03:29 PM

I agree totally. I am thinking buffet style dinners and serve yourself is the way to go! Also, separate platters.

4
D3b41912de6b7f60753b8e6063c9b05a

(362)

on June 17, 2011
at 03:14 PM

I was a vegetarian for 10 years and still am surrounded by vegetarians and vegans. So, it is not uncommon to have a houseguest who does not eat everything the family is eating. My first bit of advice is to have ground rules. The most important of which no one criticizes anyone's food choices. (It is unacceptable in my home for anyone to say someone else's food is gross - even when it is some nasty, smelly tofu fake food). Next, cook your meals for 2 weeks in coconut oil and butter or ghee. Have meat always served separate from the veggies so she can still have a nice meal. Since she eats eggs, load up on the fritattas. you can even do mini ones (egg cupcakes) so some have meat and veggies and some just veggies. Don't be afraid to eat out more than you normally would. This is a special time (just keep telling yourself that) and should be celebrated. Do not let her insult you, your food, your home, your life. If she pulls that, look her straight in the eye, tell her that comment was hurtful and unfair. You will be dealing with your MIL for a long time - set boundaries now. Make sure your husband understands before she arrives that you want this to be a pleasant trip but, your MIL (and maybe even the hubby) are free to go to a hotel if this does not work.

4
1568416ef28477d1fa29046218d83ddd

(6235)

on June 17, 2011
at 02:37 PM

Two weeks is a long time. I can do a dinner that is gluten free and vegetarian, but 14 is way more of a pain than I am willing to put up with.

If it were me I would probably put my spouse in charge of figuring that one out since she is not my parent and I am probably not the one who is benefiting from the visit.

You could eat out a lot, she could go elsewhere while you cook, you could exist on cold cuts with one good meal cooked elsewhere a week. I might be willing to do these, but I wouldn't be willing to be in charge of the negotiations around the "smell of flesh".

3
A65499f2f8c65602881550fe309cd48c

(3501)

on June 17, 2011
at 03:20 PM

Communicating your expectations and making sure she communicates hers is vital. Having had a mother in law for 27 years THIS I know. While it hasn't been about food (usually) it definitely has been about many and various subjects. Feeding a vegetarian in a paleo household shouldn't be difficult...if smell bothers her and that's the only issue then go without bacon and use garlic and onion on lots of other things. I'm sure she eats garlic and onion, right? But communication is key, ask her what she would like to do while you cook your food, tell her that you will have plenty of delicious mother-in-law friendly foods there for her to eat....find out specifically WHAT she likes to eat and just add your proteins to your dishes that YOUR family will be eating. If she's going to be petty about the "smell" then it's definitely time to sit and have a heart to heart about it. Just be open asap and I think things will go well. In my experience with mine, MIL's are about the "upper hand"...let them "think" they have the upper hand and life is good :) It's a dance I participate in a few times a year to keep peace and make my life easier and happier....I respect her enough to just do it. She doesn't live with me, she's given me a wonderful man so I guess I can dance her dance once in awhile :) Hope that helps.

145d4b0f988af15acc6b26eccc1f4895

(1932)

on June 17, 2011
at 03:33 PM

"ask her what she would like to do **while you cook your food**" Yes, THIS, because it indicates that 1) you are willing to help her out with her wishes, but yours will also be honored.

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on June 17, 2011
at 03:26 PM

The amazing husband she raised managed to turn out to be a hunter! This I say to those moms who try to control every little thing, dietary or not, that their kiddos do!

145d4b0f988af15acc6b26eccc1f4895

(1932)

on June 17, 2011
at 03:38 PM

"In my experience with mine, MIL's are about the "upper hand"...let them "think" they have the upper hand and life is good" but definitely not THIS. MIL's are people too, and if you are lucky, and your personal situation allows it, you will be a MIL someday. MIL's are not all about "the upper hand." They may not always understand things they way you do, but they often just love their kids and show it differently. I AM a daughter-in-law and I AM a mother-in-law. It's a tricky rope to walk....please don't have preconceived notions :-)

A65499f2f8c65602881550fe309cd48c

(3501)

on June 17, 2011
at 03:50 PM

@Gharkness...you're right. I'm speaking about MY MIL. But I guess what I could have written (and wish I could more eloquently) is that she I think it makes her feel better when I ask for her input, get her involved...etc. I suppose "upper hand" is a bit dramatic but she can be that way. It just helps keep the peace at MY house when I give her that. I am close to be a MIL and I truly walk that delicate line. It's different in every situation.

145d4b0f988af15acc6b26eccc1f4895

(1932)

on June 17, 2011
at 04:19 PM

Thanks for understanding, Karin. 'Tis true - not all MIL's are exactly alike. I know, having had two of them....it can be a challenge! And of course MY challenge is to not put that burden on my DIL or son! Mine has been married 10 years, and so far, so good.

3
98bf2ca7f8778c79cd3f6c962011cfdc

on June 17, 2011
at 02:49 PM

I think it's quite kind of you to want to be so accommodating in order to make her feel most comfortable. I would probably go with pre-cooked animal flesh especially those that can be eaten cold or room temp. Canned salmon on salad. Rotisserie chicken from the store (you can get pretty good ones at WF) or cook ahead and freeze then thaw in fridge. You can use this on salad or in frittata or omelets (I never smell animal protein that is included in an egg mixture. Even roast beef or fajita-type beef can be eaten cold or room temp-ish. Obviously lots of hard boiled eggs/deviled eggs as snacks would be good to include to bump up protein outside of main meals. If you do dairy you can get a pretty good protein kick from cheese.

Good luck!

2
20c518f9d33b0d04c7a19b8bb7487695

(195)

on June 17, 2011
at 07:42 PM

I would never go to my children's homes and expect them to eat as I do. Respect is the foundation of good relationships, and going to someone's home is a privilege to be treated with the utmost respect. As long as you provide for her food needs, she has no right to demand that you live/eat other than as you would normally. Parents of adult children must give them the same respect that they would a non-relative. Would she turn the tables and allow meat to dominate at her house? Of course not, so it is quid pro quo. If I couldn't abide soemthing at my kids' homes, I would get a hotel room.

2
2507b557331c8a674bc81197531e609a

(4994)

on June 17, 2011
at 05:43 PM

Slip some organ meat in her quorn chilli.

2
1fc9c11cf23b2f62ac78979de933ad83

(2435)

on June 17, 2011
at 04:55 PM

Is it summer where you are? A few meals could be awesome salads, topped with eggs for her, and you can add meats for yourself.

As far as peace and respect are involved, I would politely inform her before you start cooking anything offensive. This way she has the chance to step away. Perhaps also batch-cook while she's taking your kids to the park or something.

If she's open minded you could tell her about why you eat the way you do. Mark Sisson's son is a vegetarian, but still mostly follows the primal lifestyle. It's not impossible to be both. I'm not saying that you try to convert her, but by showing interest in improving her health, you're proving that you care. Gotta be delicate with that.

Anyhow, I agree with previous posts. Lots of wine. Not just for her :D

Oh, and you may need to lay some ground rules about what "cheats and treats" she is allowed to give your children, if that matters. Even a cheat sheet. You know, 'chocolate covered nuts and ice cream are okay, but please don't buy them a cookie or a cupcake' kinda stuff. Be sure to include some things that she can really spoil them with, and tell her just how much of a treat THAT would be.

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on June 17, 2011
at 06:51 PM

That's a GREAT point. I do say no Quorn or Tofurkey crap. She sneaks that soy stuff on my boys sometimes - it pisses me off and she know it! I wish it was just chocolate!

1fc9c11cf23b2f62ac78979de933ad83

(2435)

on June 17, 2011
at 04:56 PM

I know this isn't exactly what you asked, but major concerns for me about leaving my kids with their grandparents.

1fc9c11cf23b2f62ac78979de933ad83

(2435)

on June 25, 2011
at 02:58 PM

Tell her that soy makes them break out in to rashes.

1fc9c11cf23b2f62ac78979de933ad83

(2435)

on June 25, 2011
at 03:02 PM

Even better, ask her if she had been veggie while raising her kids, ask how she would have felt if someone slipped them a hot dog.

2
E3c6d84c01a12e2ee1c49e2180d84238

on June 17, 2011
at 03:36 PM

If I were you, and I'm glad I'm not, I'd ask my spouse to be an intermediary and negotiate a compromise.

1
116d23135449332a8bf9106220cf632b

on June 17, 2011
at 05:32 PM

Go heavy on the fritattas and quiches- Everyday Paleo has a bunch of great recipes. Surf around vegan recipe sites if you don't do dairy. Ask your MIL to provide you with some of her favorite recipes but specify that they must be grain/dairy free or whatever YOUR dietary restrictions may be. Many grain-free stirfry and curry recipes can be made without the meat. I'm making one of my FAVORITES tonight so should have it on my blog this weekend... I'll repost with a link. Also look into some Indian recipes using Paneer, a soft cheese.

She is your guest so from here it's more of an "Ask Alice" question. It's not going to kill you to take a break from meat for a weekend, but two weeks is kind of long to go without. I, personally, feel kind of icky without meat for a day or so. The biggest issue, IMHO, is with her inability to "take the smell of flesh," and its implication that YOU won't be able to eat meat for two weeks. What kind of "flesh" is she referring to? Fish, poultry, pork, or beef? You can always cook it up separately for the non-veggies or you could cook a bunch of, say, shredded chicken beforehand and freeze it in batches to add to salads/stirfries.

Oh, and leave a copy of The Paleo Solution on her nightstand ;-)

116d23135449332a8bf9106220cf632b

on June 18, 2011
at 07:05 PM

http://raspberrycoconut.com/2011/06/18/thai-eggplant/

116d23135449332a8bf9106220cf632b

on June 18, 2011
at 07:05 PM

Here's my recipe for Thai Eggplant. Add a bag of frozen edamame and you have a balanced vegan dinner. There's a video as well! http://raspberrycoconut.com/2011/06/18/thai-eggplant/

1
64242a1130eb51f4852f78beed38b3d5

(1343)

on June 17, 2011
at 05:01 PM

I would do my best to not offend them and make them welcome in my house, it's the human thing to do.

1
Cfc7dee889a66db9cd76c4f348109294

on June 17, 2011
at 02:46 PM

I gather you guys eat fish regularly. What I would do is have plenty of veg-friendly options around, prepare other meats that you would normally eat that she can choose to avoid, and make fish before she arrives or when she is out of the house. As a house guest and family member, you might be able to accommodate her to some extent, but if fish is a dietary staple in your house, she should figure out how to tolerate or avoid the smell the few times it might become a mild discomfort during her stay. Plus, I'm pretty sure this is how Dear Prudence from Slate would answer.

3aea514b680d01bfd7573d74517946a7

(11996)

on June 17, 2011
at 03:39 PM

Paging Emily Litella... :)

1
215d3126214343a5760316f195a06b97

on June 17, 2011
at 02:45 PM

There are hotels with kitchens she can stay in. I enjoy a veggie dinner here and there, but 14 days, 3 meals a day- that is 42 flesh-free meals... that's a lot of eggs! lol

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