Most people just want to hear those magical words, "you're right". I see people :
- Lie to win a discussion : e.g. someone said "we can live on bread only, but not on meat only".
- Quickly change the subject to avoid losing the discussion.
- Get angry or go away because they understood they're not right : e.g. I can't contradict some people without getting shouted at.
Why is it that people see a discussion as a fight, as competition? Don't we just wanna find the truth? What's your recipe? Do you have a way to discuss topics without negativity, only objectivity? Or is that too much to ask?
asked byKorion (8938)
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on October 12, 2011
at 11:52 AM
I think it has a lot to do with our internal investment in ideas. I used to do wedding catering on the side and thus used to frequent a lot of wedding forums. You think LC vs food reward is bad? Just try posting something along the lines of "My family wants me to do a traditional money dance, but I think that's tacky" or "I don't want to do the garter thing, it's for younger brides" and watch the sparks fly!
So in some cases, the vitriol is just because that is folks' style. And in others, it's essentially a defense mechanism ("you're threatening a principle that I hold near and dear").
So my recipe? Avoid discussions that are dominated by folks in either camp (the ass-hats or the true believers).
on October 12, 2011
at 10:32 AM
It may be magnesium or essential fatty acid deficiency. :)
Magnesium is well known soothing agent. Taking Mg prior to sport activities may reduce nervouses when you are loosing, as reported by some people.
Fish oil is also claimed to have soothing effect on brain.
Part of the healthy brain is to bee able to deal with cognitive dissonance and other insults which may influence 'mind homeostasis'.
So, my recipe is clear.
Other then that, its important to always doubt what you do and that may lead to actually listen to other people. I try that. Am I good at it... I don't know.