7

votes

In a world without toilet paper, how would you clean your butt?

Answered on November 01, 2014
Created July 09, 2013 at 2:52 AM

Say in the future for some reason the production of toilet paper was completely stopped. It could be do to environmentalists or trees be able to move and fight. Since toilet paper isn't exactly the easiest thing to make what would you use to clean your butt that is sustainable? Poison ivy and hay probably aren't good choices.

Aabf89b1f994d00c9d15bc24fc8a9cd4

on July 17, 2013
at 12:06 AM

:)..............

7a6529ea25b655132fe58d793f95547a

(2040)

on July 11, 2013
at 01:37 AM

What about Mexi Paleo?

Medium avatar

(10611)

on July 10, 2013
at 12:45 PM

One of my odder experiences was doing a project in a Venezuelan toilet paper mill. All recycled and very scratchy. I got them an old Handle-o-meter, a standard test for toilet paper.

089dd41b18fbb95ebb5347cded708d98

(5635)

on July 10, 2013
at 10:33 AM

Nah, corn isnt paleo.

F15e0bae42dbf0b8cfc71e62902497b4

(2036)

on July 09, 2013
at 11:14 PM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_cleansing

C4f1a0c70c4e0dea507c2e346c036bbd

on July 09, 2013
at 09:52 PM

You don't always get perfect digestion even with Paleo if you have IBD or extended colon. Digestion is also further affected if you get sick and need antibioitics for whatever reason.

C4f1a0c70c4e0dea507c2e346c036bbd

on July 09, 2013
at 09:51 PM

Where do you get snow cones if you live in a hot environment?

C6648ab69e5a1560c7585fe3ba7108fb

(880)

on July 09, 2013
at 07:18 PM

Leaves/grass, then bury it. Standard practice when backpacking/hiking/tramping; far easier and less gross than packing out toilet paper.

De1095b2ba29c1035f00428cbfe3cc7c

(777)

on July 09, 2013
at 05:51 PM

this, when i squat & have a good BM i usually wipe to find no marks on the tp

Medium avatar

(10611)

on July 09, 2013
at 01:19 PM

Is amoebic dysentery paleo?

Medium avatar

(10611)

on July 09, 2013
at 01:17 PM

They'd quit making paper cones WAY before toilet paper.

Medium avatar

(10611)

on July 09, 2013
at 01:15 PM

+1 for hay. OK for horses though.

2006ccb2b60f9cc5ba5e8eff8a7abc46

(1533)

on July 09, 2013
at 12:30 PM

you need a whole lot less tp, that's for sure.

24c27817ad9ac518946dda4a131737b5

on July 09, 2013
at 11:58 AM

I question this assertion.

24c27817ad9ac518946dda4a131737b5

on July 09, 2013
at 11:58 AM

I question this.

Cbda678b2a6bf0537d8c4ea0ce8aa9ad

(4319)

on July 09, 2013
at 10:31 AM

Is a lake or river paleo? same thing.

Fb67dc30cead043d1d13ea503a3044dc

(3280)

on July 09, 2013
at 05:17 AM

Just a less-sanitary bidet is all. :)

089dd41b18fbb95ebb5347cded708d98

(5635)

on July 09, 2013
at 03:03 AM

primally, I know what you mean. just had a spraying incident in the bathroom and ended up needing a shower afterwards!!! I use a lot of toilet paper, too, thanks to c diff!

C4f1a0c70c4e0dea507c2e346c036bbd

on July 09, 2013
at 02:59 AM

This was inspired by problems coming from taking an antibiotic. Its been messy and wasteful to say the least.

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18 Answers

4
F4853988d98d03652f33217b9a0127df

on July 09, 2013
at 04:35 AM

Most of world doesnt use or doesnt have money to buy toilet paper even now. :-/

24c27817ad9ac518946dda4a131737b5

on July 09, 2013
at 11:58 AM

I question this assertion.

F15e0bae42dbf0b8cfc71e62902497b4

(2036)

on July 09, 2013
at 11:14 PM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_cleansing

24c27817ad9ac518946dda4a131737b5

on July 09, 2013
at 11:58 AM

I question this.

4
089dd41b18fbb95ebb5347cded708d98

(5635)

on July 09, 2013
at 03:02 AM

I guess i'd use wash cloths and just wash them after I used them.

Aabf89b1f994d00c9d15bc24fc8a9cd4

on July 17, 2013
at 12:06 AM

:)..............

3
10121ac7b6beb99c0fbfbf1522c50adb

on July 10, 2013
at 01:41 PM

With the pages of Twilight.

3
048dd52752c45129c1212bfffb37ca72

on July 09, 2013
at 08:05 AM

If you eat paleo and have perfect digestion then you don't need the paper, stool comes out perfect and without even getting your butt dirty :D

Not so much with modern diarrhoea-promoting diets hehe

Ok just joking... or not?

C4f1a0c70c4e0dea507c2e346c036bbd

on July 09, 2013
at 09:52 PM

You don't always get perfect digestion even with Paleo if you have IBD or extended colon. Digestion is also further affected if you get sick and need antibioitics for whatever reason.

De1095b2ba29c1035f00428cbfe3cc7c

(777)

on July 09, 2013
at 05:51 PM

this, when i squat & have a good BM i usually wipe to find no marks on the tp

3
76026e8ef496039d5075440ff731aa0d

on July 09, 2013
at 04:15 AM

Snow cones!

DEFINITELY

...snow cones.

Truth.

C4f1a0c70c4e0dea507c2e346c036bbd

on July 09, 2013
at 09:51 PM

Where do you get snow cones if you live in a hot environment?

Medium avatar

(10611)

on July 09, 2013
at 01:17 PM

They'd quit making paper cones WAY before toilet paper.

1
Bfddc0ab925c8ea0e0c2e87198514907

on July 10, 2013
at 10:57 AM

Leaves.

I've even done it.

1
6fece842bd1bcf5724f458a302a2156e

on July 10, 2013
at 09:48 AM

Leaves or when there were hardly any people on the planet go in the sea or river and move on. The UK/US may use toilet paper but many cultures don't. I've been on business in the Middle East where you squat low and there is a shower device near by to wash yourself - pretty hard if you're not used to squatting and you're forced to wear (as a woman) long robes. They probably think the fact we don't have those cleaning devices and only paper means we are less clean, less civilised.

Also plenty of cultures had a right hand to eat with left hand to clean your bottom with rule in areas with few clean water supplies which makes a lot of hygiene sense.

Finally I thought this would be a thread about Venezuela - the UK press has had articles recently about their shortage of toilet paper - a national crisis. They are trying to import 50m rolls http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-22602331

Medium avatar

(10611)

on July 10, 2013
at 12:45 PM

One of my odder experiences was doing a project in a Venezuelan toilet paper mill. All recycled and very scratchy. I got them an old Handle-o-meter, a standard test for toilet paper.

1
F5a0ddffcf9ef5beca864050f090a790

(15515)

on July 09, 2013
at 01:31 PM

What would hunters - gatherers do?

  1. Use a flat rock, pleasant to the touch.

  2. Use leaves (watch out for poison ivy)

  3. ???? Don't know.

C6648ab69e5a1560c7585fe3ba7108fb

(880)

on July 09, 2013
at 07:18 PM

Leaves/grass, then bury it. Standard practice when backpacking/hiking/tramping; far easier and less gross than packing out toilet paper.

1
Medium avatar

(10611)

on July 09, 2013
at 01:21 PM

First, move to a place with lots of moss.

1
2006ccb2b60f9cc5ba5e8eff8a7abc46

on July 09, 2013
at 12:33 PM

when I am out in the woods ill just grab a handful of long grass, twist it up and make it so that it gets most the poo off my bum. but in an urban setting, like in the home, its easy enough to use/reuse cloth, just make sure you wash and dry them thoroughly, putting them out on the line on a hot, dry day is best

Medium avatar

(10611)

on July 09, 2013
at 01:19 PM

Is amoebic dysentery paleo?

Cbda678b2a6bf0537d8c4ea0ce8aa9ad

(4319)

on July 09, 2013
at 10:31 AM

Is a lake or river paleo? same thing.

1
Medium avatar

(3029)

on July 09, 2013
at 07:47 AM

A question after my own heart!

My hunch is this: If you get the diet right you don't need toilet paper or anything else to clean up. Period.

I often wondered in my pre-paleo days what people did before the invention of toilet paper. (Clearly I have too much time on my hands). I don't think they needed TP. Poo isn't meant to stink. Poo isn't meant to be a big mess.

I'd bet good money that modern hunter-gatherers need no toilet paper equivelent and their shit smells like roses (or at least not like poo).

2006ccb2b60f9cc5ba5e8eff8a7abc46

(1533)

on July 09, 2013
at 12:30 PM

you need a whole lot less tp, that's for sure.

1
3c216cb00d639e2ba6e60c35083e0741

on July 09, 2013
at 04:59 AM

For what it's worth: Back in the days when I was but an impoverished student at university, my housemates and I would frequently run out of toilet paper, due to either a) lack of funds (spent on alcohol) or b) outright laziness.

Enter, the Shower-Poo. Poo, then a quick dash to the shower for a wash.

Unpleasant by Western standards? Yes,

Waste of water? Probably,

Trees killed in the process? Zero.

Fb67dc30cead043d1d13ea503a3044dc

(3280)

on July 09, 2013
at 05:17 AM

Just a less-sanitary bidet is all. :)

1
24c27817ad9ac518946dda4a131737b5

on July 09, 2013
at 04:39 AM

Toilet paper doesn't really clean off everything. It's a stopgap measure. You'd need to wash, anyway.

0
752758745b45626fb233c150f1f104bd

on November 01, 2014
at 03:31 PM

Use water , It's the best method and even cleaner than those freaking toilet paper , dead serious .

0
5ccb98f6ae42ce87e206cf3f6a86039f

(11581)

on July 09, 2013
at 10:12 PM

Doesn't anyone here go camping? Reindeer moss, large leaves (know your plants), snow (yes, works just fine). Or follow what your pioneer ancestors did - whatever paper was available - catalogs, newspapers. tatty old romance novels (I knew there was a use for those). Or corncobs when worst comes to worst. (Are corncobs paleo?)

089dd41b18fbb95ebb5347cded708d98

(5635)

on July 10, 2013
at 10:33 AM

Nah, corn isnt paleo.

7a6529ea25b655132fe58d793f95547a

(2040)

on July 11, 2013
at 01:37 AM

What about Mexi Paleo?

0
7a6529ea25b655132fe58d793f95547a

(2040)

on July 09, 2013
at 03:55 PM

Tuber skins? maybe that's why we started cooking, to make toilet paper.

Maybe some help from a fellow cave man/woman. I doubt you'd have too many friends though:

"That Colin guy's a little weird, he always wants me to wipe his butt? I say we eat him."

Or something like a beaver pelt, you probably couldn't wear it as a hat after.

I'm with Glither & Albert, I think wiping the butt crack is a Neolithic activity. You never see a chimp in the wild wipe it's behind do you? Know that I think about it, it's not something one is ever really that curious about so maybe they do when no one's looking.

0
Cbda678b2a6bf0537d8c4ea0ce8aa9ad

(4319)

on July 09, 2013
at 05:42 AM

I have not used toilet paper in decades. I wash with soap and water. If soap not available, I use water.

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