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Testosterone and sexuality

Answered on August 19, 2014
Created May 28, 2012 at 2:55 PM

My girlfriend and I started dating 8 months ago. She has always described our sexuality as being more mechanical and not natural for me. We recently went to the doctor and found out my testosterone levels were lower than they should be. (because of treatments I had received I know have to get injections). I have probably been low the whole time we were dating. When my levels get normal will there be more physical attraction? Will things seem more natural?

A3ff262a2686d79789e09a26013901b3

(1208)

on May 28, 2012
at 08:23 PM

that appears to be your answer for everything! lol

Bbd349fe334481d99c091333b87cacb5

(346)

on May 28, 2012
at 07:54 PM

I spent three years in a sexually mechanical and not natural relationship with someone I deeply loved. Subsequent relationships taught me that sometimes you can love someone but not want to bang them passionately. If the chemistry isn't there, it isn't there.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on May 28, 2012
at 07:02 PM

While zinc and vitamin D3 can help, I think a higher sugar intake is preferable, like Kasra says. You're not taking fish oil are you?

5ef574d7893bc816ec52e04139e9bc09

(6097)

on May 28, 2012
at 06:02 PM

Lol eat sugar .

5ef574d7893bc816ec52e04139e9bc09

(6097)

on May 28, 2012
at 06:02 PM

Lol eat sugar .

5ef574d7893bc816ec52e04139e9bc09

(6097)

on May 28, 2012
at 06:02 PM

Lol eat sugar .

518bce04b12cd77741237e1f61075194

(11577)

on May 28, 2012
at 05:03 PM

Sex drive increase does not necessarily mean that sex will stop being "mechanical" or "not natural". While it's important to consider if your testosterone levels are low, it's not a fix-all.

Ddfdaa75ac9f47e01fc71162dd0d38dc

on May 28, 2012
at 04:03 PM

Yes. Well your T normalizes, sex will appeal! Start the patch as soon as your doctor recommends! You'll be glad you did.

F92e4ca55291c3f3096a3d4d3d854986

(11698)

on May 28, 2012
at 03:30 PM

"She has always described our sexuality as being more mechanical and not natural for me". How would YOU describe your sexual feelings?

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6 Answers

4
F5a0ddffcf9ef5beca864050f090a790

(15515)

on May 28, 2012
at 06:01 PM

Nobody answered your question the way it should be answered. PLEASE DO NOT DONWVOTE ME.

Okay, I don't know anything about testosterone (the only thing I know is that the more sex you have, the more testosterone you will have - and I can give you scientific reference for that). But I know everything about women. I am one myself. Do you want her to say that you are very natural and she had the best sex of her life with you? Follow those simple steps:

  1. Keep telling her how beautiful she is. Be sincere. Notice the parts that you especially like about her. Tell her about those parts, i.e. "OMG. Your eyes are SO BLUE/DARK/BIG/ WHATEVER, that's amazing!"

  2. Remember some little things about the first time you have met. Take her to the place where you have met and give her a single red rose. Tell her with passion: "Honey, remember this place? Remember how we met here? It was exactly 60 days 8 hours 30 minutes and 25 seconds ago! It was the best day in my life! Thank you for being my girlfriend." Sounds corny, but she will start crying. Estrogen.

  3. Do you have a couple song? Every time it plays on a radio (or conveniently downloaded on your ipod ) say with feelings - "Remember this song? This is our song!" She will do something nice to you that evening - guaranteed.

  4. Buy cheap but meaningful gifts for her. A cute little bracelet with hearts. Or something of that sort. Even if it is ugly and you picked it up at a dollar store, if you say "I thought of you and I bought this. I want you to think of me when you wear this" she will be thrilled.

  5. Ask her for a very special date. Take that day off. Clean everything or hire a cleaning service. Buy some food that is very easy to make. Remember to get some food items that are shaped like a heart. Buy flowers (red roses) and lots of candles that won't catch on fire even if you leave them on for the whole night. Cook her supper, light up the candles, spread some rose petals on the bed (heart shape would be ideal). Wait for her to come home and give her the remaining roses.

  6. Give her a massage. A long and nice massage.

  7. Make sure to keep your foreplay long. Very very long. As long as you can last. Five minutes won't cut it. Try to see if you can handle it for at least 30 minutes - consider this a survival game or an ultimate challenge. I would suggest other things too, but... not sure if there are any teens that would be reading this :)

  8. Come back to Paleohacks and share your experience. She will not complain that you were too mechanical even if you underwent a sex change operation prior to that.

Remember: little things count. Kindle your romantic feelings. There are some things that money can't buy. For everything else there is Paleohacks :)))

2
6120c989fd5b69f42a0834b69b87955b

(24553)

on May 29, 2012
at 08:42 AM

"Mechanical" sounds like a kind way of saying that you are either concentrating too hard on the technical aspects of gettin' it on, not enough attention is being payed to her needs, or she knows your heart isn't in it. I kind of doubt any of those is purely based on hormone levels. Low T might decrease interest in frequency, but it shouldn't decrease feelings of tenderness and bonding that make being together in bed fun.

Be honest with both her and yourself here, if it isn't a case of overthinking things in the sack, or having completely overlooked foreplay, it is time to move on. To draw things out hoping and waiting, and leading her on might seem kind, but will only hurt her more later.

If it is stylistic or a confidence thing, try reading something like Moregasm: Babeland's Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex together, even if you find that in the end you aren't passionate about each other in the way you had hoped you would be, working through a book like that you'll have a sweet new skill set for future partners, win, win.

2
217233ef0af8dd0b0d6cdcab4f4b57a1

on May 28, 2012
at 03:25 PM

Testosterone controls the sex drive and revs up the metabolism. An increase in testosterone will definitely boost your sex drive. Some ways that can increase your testosterone: Have more sex which will release more free testosterone, sleep more, eat Brazil nuts or supplement with selenium and zinc and get more vitamin D. Timothy Ferris talks about Brazil nuts in his book "The 4 hour Body". He recommends eating 2 a day for a few weeks as being useful for increasing testosterone levels. I have also read that vitamin D supplementation is directly correlated with increases in testosterone levels. Hope that helps.

5ef574d7893bc816ec52e04139e9bc09

(6097)

on May 28, 2012
at 06:02 PM

Lol eat sugar .

1
4fcf9c7d28ff01e2ad68cbbdb4d01017

on May 29, 2012
at 08:22 AM

When your testosterone is increased you'll notice a change in your sex drive. Whether you find someone attractive or not though is another story.

If you want to increase your testosterone naturally you got to look at your lifestyle and what you eat. By lifestyle I mean regular physical activity and less stress.

Now with food I listed on my site;( http://charliefatloss.com/top-10-foods-that-boost-testosterone-and-libido/ ) 10 best foods I recommend I'll give you 3 that works wonders.

1.Fatty meat 2.Pumpkin seeds 3.Dark chocolate

A simple change in food and exercise does wonders for testosterone :)

1
A3ff262a2686d79789e09a26013901b3

on May 28, 2012
at 03:50 PM

I stuggle with this too. I take 6000IU vit D and I eat a can of smoked herring daily which has 80% RDA of selenium. No zinc though (I will add that in I think) and I still have trouble with libido. I am still working on it. I think the thing to remember is that these type of changes take time and you have to be mindfull of what you taking. Too much of everthing may have the opposite effect. As with most things about paleo it's the individual that has to find what works for them. Try one or two things at a time to see it's effect and be patient.

A3ff262a2686d79789e09a26013901b3

(1208)

on May 28, 2012
at 08:23 PM

that appears to be your answer for everything! lol

5ef574d7893bc816ec52e04139e9bc09

(6097)

on May 28, 2012
at 06:02 PM

Lol eat sugar .

0
98f1e15f47761b0d2d4623e028402d52

on June 04, 2012
at 06:53 AM

a testosterone is a hormone that is produced by testes and ovaries of humans and animals.an adult human male body produces about 7-8 times more testosterone than an adult human female body,but females are more sensitive to the hormone.Testosterone is classified as an androgen. Androgens are a group of hormones that control masculine-type sex characteristics. They play a role in maintenance of systemic anabolic effects, particularly metabolism of salts, fluid balance and bone growth.Testosterone is crucial for the development and maintenance of the male sex organs and the male secondary sex characteristics. These include muscle bulk, facial and axillary hair, changes in fat distribution and deepened voice.

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