1

votes

13 yr old not losing weight

Answered on August 19, 2014
Created September 20, 2012 at 4:13 PM

My family went on a paleo diet last year. My husband and I both lost about 30 lbs in two

months, but our daughter(13) who has the most to lose hasn't lost a lb. I don't understand why she hasn't lost weight on the exact same diet. She has very little leeway to cheat maybe a max of less than 5 percent of her calories. I would be grateful for any ideas..

3491e51730101b18724dc57c86601173

(8395)

on September 21, 2012
at 12:23 AM

My kids used to come home with more food than they left with! Kids trade food and treat their friends. And schools that have policies against sending sweet treats in your kid's lunch hand out candy, cookies, and gum for "rewards". Some things are beyond your control, you just have to make sure what you provide is healthy.

32d059a467e99a4fc83201407a4a238d

on September 20, 2012
at 10:35 PM

I thought "porky" was kind of a cute description... I thought of a little piglet lol. But I can see how it might be construed as insensitive.

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on September 20, 2012
at 10:06 PM

Cheats are ok but I would really hope that she stays gluten free with those cheats. If she reacts to it it is 100x worse than some sugar.

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on September 20, 2012
at 10:05 PM

THIS ONE. My wife, now in her late 20's, started struggling with her weight as a teen. We went Paleo and she dropped some weight but not a lot, and not nearly as much as me. When she finally went to the MD we found out she had a prolactinoma. 2 weeks on medication and her energy is up, she is gaining muscle at a super-compensating type rate and is just generally much happier. Take care of the health and the weight will come down!

Cc3ce03985eac5ebcbb95fc2329f13b0

(7370)

on September 20, 2012
at 09:06 PM

I agree, too. Why not call him the other wonderful things I'm sure he is? My funny 12 year old? My smart 12 year old. Kids totally know what we think, een ifs ways.'t say it, it comes out in a million littles ways.

Bece741db5f5fed6bafa12e3548f973f

(715)

on September 20, 2012
at 09:05 PM

As the mother of a 15 yo and 17 yo who both looked like a plow ponies at 13 and now look absolutely stunning, I wouldn't worry about it unless there is a health issue going on. As was said above, stress the healthy eating and activities. The body composition should change in time.

Cc3ce03985eac5ebcbb95fc2329f13b0

(7370)

on September 20, 2012
at 09:03 PM

I totally agree. A a former fat kid who was dieted and fasted een back into elementary school, I strongly oppse such young kids dieting. Please just set a good example, educate (not harass), and proide healthy foods. As a mom, I understand the caring and concern, but I suggest the key is in teaching her, kindly, to make the right decsisons.

518bce04b12cd77741237e1f61075194

(11577)

on September 20, 2012
at 08:41 PM

A+. She is in the initial part of puberty, weight should not "fall off" her or something would be very odd about what hormones are going on in her body. She probably will lose very little weight, except due to growth spurts, and will grow into her current size IF properly fed and enjoying at least a relatively active lifestyle. Just focus on ingraining healthy lifestyle habits right now. She knows she is big, and I'm sure all of us who were harshly judged as children know that what she needs at home is support above ALL.

518bce04b12cd77741237e1f61075194

(11577)

on September 20, 2012
at 08:39 PM

As it's said below, don't restrict calories and let her really grow into her weight. I just want to emphasize to future commenters that there is documented stunting of growth of overweight children put on calorie restricted diets, so lets stay away from that shall we. Her brain, bones, and changing/growing body don't need to have nutrients whisked away right now.

0e0eb889e7742653ccbdd9822146d49c

(5)

on September 20, 2012
at 06:21 PM

Thank you for your comment. I have heard that it is not good for kids to lose weight or too much weight during puberty so I haven't been too concerned about this. However, it does make me curious... The weight literally fell off of us(hubby and me) but not her. She eats what we have in the house, has no way of cheating while at home. The five percent is an exaggerated guess as to what she might eat when at a friends.

Adb249ff0b1447d86ed308d0265e2b86

(571)

on September 20, 2012
at 06:11 PM

I agree MathGirl72 that the last thing the boy needs is his father giving him a complex. His weight has gone haywire the past 12 months and my son, wife and I all agreed corrective steps needed to be taken. We seem to have identified his problem as the classic 'wheat belly', he has the build of an unfit paunchy middle-aged man & cutting out wheat is the only change we've made. The child was puking on a regular basis and now says he feels like a million dollars. My wife thinks much of the bloating has gone already. My kid brother bloated up to 280 lbs in his teens & it has ruined his life.

Adb249ff0b1447d86ed308d0265e2b86

(571)

on September 20, 2012
at 06:10 PM

I agree MathGirl72 that the last thing the boy needs is his father giving him a complex. His weight has gone haywire the past 12 months and my son, wife and I all agreed corrective steps needed to be taken. We seem to have identified his problem as the classic 'wheat belly', he has the build of an unfit paunchy middle-aged man & cutting out wheat is the only changed we've made. The child was puking on a regular basis and now says he feels like a million dollars. My wife thinks much of the bloating has gone already. My kid brother bloated up to 280 lbs in his teens & it has ruined his life.

Adb249ff0b1447d86ed308d0265e2b86

(571)

on September 20, 2012
at 06:07 PM

I agree MathGirl72 that last thing the boy needs is his father giving him a complex. However, his weight has gone haywire the past 12 months and my son, wife and I all agreed corrective steps needed to be taken. We seem to have identified his problem as the classic 'wheat belly', he has the build of an unfit paunchy middle-aged man & cutting out wheat is the only changed we've made. The child was puking on a regular basis and now says he feels like a million dollars. Wife thinks much of the bloating has gone already. My kid brother bloated up to 280 lbs in his teens & it has ruined his life.

0e0eb889e7742653ccbdd9822146d49c

(5)

on September 20, 2012
at 05:50 PM

I appreciate the comments. We've been in this for 18 months(not two) and she has been weighed probably 3x at the doc for reg check-ups. We have experienced many positive results from this lifestyle change including normalizing blood work but weightloss is not one of them. We do not focus on the weight with her but due to the fact that most people lose weight on this diet and she hasn't is a concern.

61844af1187e745e09bb394cbd28cf23

(11058)

on September 20, 2012
at 05:39 PM

Believe me Matt, they know they are fat. They are told frequently by their peers they are fat. A dad calling his son porky is outright inappropriate.

E17fe88b98575c183241fba50ae42b93

(398)

on September 20, 2012
at 05:38 PM

...when I was super skinny, I'm way too preoccupied with my weight and if I'm honest, I have a pretty messed up relationship with food. I think the most important thing you can do is give her a good foundation so she's better equipped to resist outside pressure to be skinny at any cost.

E17fe88b98575c183241fba50ae42b93

(398)

on September 20, 2012
at 05:38 PM

I'm going to have to agree here. A focus on eating healthily, getting her involved in the kitchen, and being active as a family is a great idea. Now is a great time to instill good eating and exercise habits that will likely follow her for the rest of her life. Also agree that placing importance on getting skinnier, rather than how she feels/energy levels could set her up for unhealthy habits later. In my teens and early 20s, my mom often commented on my thinness or weight gain, whatever the case was at the time. I think because of the positive reinforcement I received from my mom and peers...

0e1e1fb7cb5ba898eed1976f988cdc37

(284)

on September 20, 2012
at 05:24 PM

You don't want to give them a complex though. Encouraging positive habits is a much better way to help your children than to approach it as you're fat and need to do something about it. Help them get healthy, but don't harp on it. Being a teen is hard enough without being constantly nagged about your weight by your parents.

32f5749fa6cf7adbeb0b0b031ba82b46

(41747)

on September 20, 2012
at 05:16 PM

@Mathgirl72, some kids need to be told they are fat. Coddling them only delays corrective action. I wish my parents expressed more concern in my weight when I was a young teen.

F5a0ddffcf9ef5beca864050f090a790

(15515)

on September 20, 2012
at 05:03 PM

How much fruit and nuts does she eat?

F5a0ddffcf9ef5beca864050f090a790

(15515)

on September 20, 2012
at 04:57 PM

Does she bring home lunch to school? Can she buy snacks at school?

05de181d71c1df6304a03566fe821d4b

(795)

on September 20, 2012
at 04:52 PM

As long as you don't restrict fat/cholesterol, which is vital to a developing brain and their growth.

3ce6a0d24be025e2f2af534545bdd1d7

(26217)

on September 20, 2012
at 04:46 PM

Megan, excellent point about keeping the family active. Go for walks after dinner, get her into an active activity she enjoys whether it's on a sports team, or jump roping, or kite flying, or walking trails -- and get out with her!

61844af1187e745e09bb394cbd28cf23

(11058)

on September 20, 2012
at 04:44 PM

Does your son know you call him "porky?" I see disordered eating and expensive therapy in his future...

Dc6407193ba441d1438f6f0c06af872b

(4400)

on September 20, 2012
at 04:42 PM

Not sure I agree. If the 5% really is only 5%, that's probably okay. I agree with the others: just focus on real food and back away from the scale! Teach her that some good things in life take more than two months to accomplish and that if she's eating well, it'll work out. It's not really surprising that the person with the touchiest metabolism would react the most slowly. That's life, but no reason to be any less persistent.

  • 0e0eb889e7742653ccbdd9822146d49c

    asked by

    (5)
  • Views
    2.2K
  • Last Activity
    1430D AGO
Frontpage book

Get FREE instant access to our Paleo For Beginners Guide & 15 FREE Recipes!

11 Answers

24
51c66d8a6f3005628535a50a950b1c61

(1003)

on September 20, 2012
at 04:23 PM

I really don't know the details of your daughter's situation, but I do know that most doctors recommend trying to keep a young teen's weight from increasing, and letting them "grow into their weight" rather than looking to actually lose lbs. Given her age, I would think she is right in the midst of puberty, growth, and lots of hormones are surging, hips and breasts developing, etc. Focusing so much on weight loss now may even set her up for eating disorder in the future. I think calorie restriction and aiming for weightloss should probably not be the focus.

I would focus on whole, unprocessed foods, keeping active as a family, learning about food prep and paleo nutrition, and eating healthy for life. Let her participate in food shopping, meal planning, prep, etc. Explore new foods and recipes together. Good luck!!

518bce04b12cd77741237e1f61075194

(11577)

on September 20, 2012
at 08:41 PM

A+. She is in the initial part of puberty, weight should not "fall off" her or something would be very odd about what hormones are going on in her body. She probably will lose very little weight, except due to growth spurts, and will grow into her current size IF properly fed and enjoying at least a relatively active lifestyle. Just focus on ingraining healthy lifestyle habits right now. She knows she is big, and I'm sure all of us who were harshly judged as children know that what she needs at home is support above ALL.

3ce6a0d24be025e2f2af534545bdd1d7

(26217)

on September 20, 2012
at 04:46 PM

Megan, excellent point about keeping the family active. Go for walks after dinner, get her into an active activity she enjoys whether it's on a sports team, or jump roping, or kite flying, or walking trails -- and get out with her!

E17fe88b98575c183241fba50ae42b93

(398)

on September 20, 2012
at 05:38 PM

I'm going to have to agree here. A focus on eating healthily, getting her involved in the kitchen, and being active as a family is a great idea. Now is a great time to instill good eating and exercise habits that will likely follow her for the rest of her life. Also agree that placing importance on getting skinnier, rather than how she feels/energy levels could set her up for unhealthy habits later. In my teens and early 20s, my mom often commented on my thinness or weight gain, whatever the case was at the time. I think because of the positive reinforcement I received from my mom and peers...

0e0eb889e7742653ccbdd9822146d49c

(5)

on September 20, 2012
at 06:21 PM

Thank you for your comment. I have heard that it is not good for kids to lose weight or too much weight during puberty so I haven't been too concerned about this. However, it does make me curious... The weight literally fell off of us(hubby and me) but not her. She eats what we have in the house, has no way of cheating while at home. The five percent is an exaggerated guess as to what she might eat when at a friends.

E17fe88b98575c183241fba50ae42b93

(398)

on September 20, 2012
at 05:38 PM

...when I was super skinny, I'm way too preoccupied with my weight and if I'm honest, I have a pretty messed up relationship with food. I think the most important thing you can do is give her a good foundation so she's better equipped to resist outside pressure to be skinny at any cost.

Bece741db5f5fed6bafa12e3548f973f

(715)

on September 20, 2012
at 09:05 PM

As the mother of a 15 yo and 17 yo who both looked like a plow ponies at 13 and now look absolutely stunning, I wouldn't worry about it unless there is a health issue going on. As was said above, stress the healthy eating and activities. The body composition should change in time.

12
3ce6a0d24be025e2f2af534545bdd1d7

(26217)

on September 20, 2012
at 04:33 PM

Don't stress her weight. The most important thing for a young girl to do is to eat healthy. As long as she focuses on eating whole foods then she will be fine. Her hormones are on pace to go nuclear, her entire ecosystem will change. Focus on her health and not her weight.

4
3491e51730101b18724dc57c86601173

(8395)

on September 20, 2012
at 05:32 PM

Has your daughter been seen by a pediatric endocrinologist to screen for metabolic syndrome and hypothyroidism? PCOS is a manifestation of metabolic syndrome that starts (before) in puberty, but is rarely recognized by physicians. You need a good endo who will do a thorough analysis. If it is PCOS, try not to let them talk you into putting her on birth control pills. Addressing the underlying metabolic syndrome by a carb limited Paleo diet is safer and more effective.

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on September 20, 2012
at 10:05 PM

THIS ONE. My wife, now in her late 20's, started struggling with her weight as a teen. We went Paleo and she dropped some weight but not a lot, and not nearly as much as me. When she finally went to the MD we found out she had a prolactinoma. 2 weeks on medication and her energy is up, she is gaining muscle at a super-compensating type rate and is just generally much happier. Take care of the health and the weight will come down!

4
0e1e1fb7cb5ba898eed1976f988cdc37

on September 20, 2012
at 04:59 PM

Focus on what she is doing right, as far as eating habits and exercise. Take the focus off not losing weight and provide tons of verbal praise and encouragement. If you focus too much on how important this is she is likely to lose interest. Like someone said above she is likely in the midst of puberty and her weight may fluctuate some. Encourage positive habits, but don't harp on them. She will likely enjoy the praise and recognition and continue with good eating habits and exercise. We want it to become a healthy habit not something she feels guilty about not doing.

1
77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on September 20, 2012
at 10:01 PM

So what I, and my family - all of whom were overweight, have found worked for us when tweaking Paleo -

We eat breakfast only when really hungry. We don't find something we can make ourselves eat. All of us (4 in total) found that skipping breakfast and having a big lunch made us spontaneously eat 1/2 as many calories without trying. Not saying you are but don't make her eat B-fast if she doesn't want it.

Fruit, outside of berries, seems to mess people around who are heavy. Keep an eye on the fruit.

Stop looking at body fatness. It will make you and her nuts. she'll be much better off having a physical activity that she is eating for, rather than a figure she is eating against.

Lots of good advice on this threat...

1
E2db1519690001648433e8109eb2c013

on September 20, 2012
at 09:54 PM

You don't mention how much she weighs, and even that is less important that body composition etc. She may not need to get lighter, she may need to gain some weight as part of growing.

The danger of over-focussing on food/calories should be obvious. Is she getting stronger, faster, more confident?

0
853c4ddd87171b04a4e3e8f4046dda54

on September 21, 2012
at 01:39 AM

My friends daughter sneaks food. I do not know the situation but there is always a possibility that the kids are binge eating. It is what a lot of them are doing nowadays in place of drugs and alcohol. Just throwing that out there. I hope that is not the case but it just came to mind when I saw your question as I also have a 13 year old daughter.

0
D4d0165711da841beafe7292b710a532

on September 20, 2012
at 11:39 PM

watch out for what she eats at school... even if you pack a lunch. as a teacher i know that unhealthy foods are very abundant and the kids bring in large bags of junk food and share with friends.

3491e51730101b18724dc57c86601173

(8395)

on September 21, 2012
at 12:23 AM

My kids used to come home with more food than they left with! Kids trade food and treat their friends. And schools that have policies against sending sweet treats in your kid's lunch hand out candy, cookies, and gum for "rewards". Some things are beyond your control, you just have to make sure what you provide is healthy.

0
32652cb696b75182cb121009ee4edea3

(5802)

on September 20, 2012
at 06:19 PM

I was always an overweight child, and paleo/cross fit is the only thing that has worked for me as an adult. If she has underlying metabolic issues, even 5% cheat is too much. I cannot cheat ONE SMIDGEN. Or the weight will not come off. I have found the best way to handle it is to designate a "no cheat zone" followed by a day of cheats. Two weeks seems to work for me. Of course you can't force it with a child this age - she will have to make that choice for herself, as there are always opportunities to cheat! (I know my 12 year old daughter comes home with snacks from the strangest places!)

0
Adb249ff0b1447d86ed308d0265e2b86

on September 20, 2012
at 04:34 PM

I've started my porky 12-year-old son on a similar track, I'm interested in hearing what people say. But the "5%" cheat calories are surely the issue.

61844af1187e745e09bb394cbd28cf23

(11058)

on September 20, 2012
at 04:44 PM

Does your son know you call him "porky?" I see disordered eating and expensive therapy in his future...

32f5749fa6cf7adbeb0b0b031ba82b46

(41747)

on September 20, 2012
at 05:16 PM

@Mathgirl72, some kids need to be told they are fat. Coddling them only delays corrective action. I wish my parents expressed more concern in my weight when I was a young teen.

Adb249ff0b1447d86ed308d0265e2b86

(571)

on September 20, 2012
at 06:11 PM

I agree MathGirl72 that the last thing the boy needs is his father giving him a complex. His weight has gone haywire the past 12 months and my son, wife and I all agreed corrective steps needed to be taken. We seem to have identified his problem as the classic 'wheat belly', he has the build of an unfit paunchy middle-aged man & cutting out wheat is the only change we've made. The child was puking on a regular basis and now says he feels like a million dollars. My wife thinks much of the bloating has gone already. My kid brother bloated up to 280 lbs in his teens & it has ruined his life.

Adb249ff0b1447d86ed308d0265e2b86

(571)

on September 20, 2012
at 06:07 PM

I agree MathGirl72 that last thing the boy needs is his father giving him a complex. However, his weight has gone haywire the past 12 months and my son, wife and I all agreed corrective steps needed to be taken. We seem to have identified his problem as the classic 'wheat belly', he has the build of an unfit paunchy middle-aged man & cutting out wheat is the only changed we've made. The child was puking on a regular basis and now says he feels like a million dollars. Wife thinks much of the bloating has gone already. My kid brother bloated up to 280 lbs in his teens & it has ruined his life.

61844af1187e745e09bb394cbd28cf23

(11058)

on September 20, 2012
at 05:39 PM

Believe me Matt, they know they are fat. They are told frequently by their peers they are fat. A dad calling his son porky is outright inappropriate.

Cc3ce03985eac5ebcbb95fc2329f13b0

(7370)

on September 20, 2012
at 09:06 PM

I agree, too. Why not call him the other wonderful things I'm sure he is? My funny 12 year old? My smart 12 year old. Kids totally know what we think, een ifs ways.'t say it, it comes out in a million littles ways.

Adb249ff0b1447d86ed308d0265e2b86

(571)

on September 20, 2012
at 06:10 PM

I agree MathGirl72 that the last thing the boy needs is his father giving him a complex. His weight has gone haywire the past 12 months and my son, wife and I all agreed corrective steps needed to be taken. We seem to have identified his problem as the classic 'wheat belly', he has the build of an unfit paunchy middle-aged man & cutting out wheat is the only changed we've made. The child was puking on a regular basis and now says he feels like a million dollars. My wife thinks much of the bloating has gone already. My kid brother bloated up to 280 lbs in his teens & it has ruined his life.

0e1e1fb7cb5ba898eed1976f988cdc37

(284)

on September 20, 2012
at 05:24 PM

You don't want to give them a complex though. Encouraging positive habits is a much better way to help your children than to approach it as you're fat and need to do something about it. Help them get healthy, but don't harp on it. Being a teen is hard enough without being constantly nagged about your weight by your parents.

32d059a467e99a4fc83201407a4a238d

on September 20, 2012
at 10:35 PM

I thought "porky" was kind of a cute description... I thought of a little piglet lol. But I can see how it might be construed as insensitive.

Dc6407193ba441d1438f6f0c06af872b

(4400)

on September 20, 2012
at 04:42 PM

Not sure I agree. If the 5% really is only 5%, that's probably okay. I agree with the others: just focus on real food and back away from the scale! Teach her that some good things in life take more than two months to accomplish and that if she's eating well, it'll work out. It's not really surprising that the person with the touchiest metabolism would react the most slowly. That's life, but no reason to be any less persistent.

0e0eb889e7742653ccbdd9822146d49c

(5)

on September 20, 2012
at 05:50 PM

I appreciate the comments. We've been in this for 18 months(not two) and she has been weighed probably 3x at the doc for reg check-ups. We have experienced many positive results from this lifestyle change including normalizing blood work but weightloss is not one of them. We do not focus on the weight with her but due to the fact that most people lose weight on this diet and she hasn't is a concern.

Answer Question


Get FREE instant access to our
Paleo For Beginners Guide & 15 FREE Recipes!