3

votes

Embarressed to care about what we eat

Answered on August 19, 2014
Created July 14, 2012 at 10:21 PM

I've never heard of any guys in my life being on a diet, or even watching what they eat. I heard plenty of female classmates go "I am a vegetarian, is there meat in there?" during school trips, girls saying they're "vegetarian but eat fish", "gluten free", "avoiding calories", or anything that displays how they discriminate their food, while all the guys I've known eat whatever they find. I've never heard a guy claim that they're allergic to peanuts or gluten either, even though it would be pretty damn serious to tell others just in case they put peanuts in your food.

Men, how do you deal with this?

How the hell do you explain to others that you need to watch what you eat? I hate watching what I eat in general, I don't need the stigma and judgement that comes along with it. Every time I even imply that I watch my health and food, such as saying "I have peanut allergy", people view me no differently than those uppity vegan guys at Whole Foods that no girls like. Some even think I am a vegan. It's not my fault people are dumb

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 15, 2012
at 11:53 PM

I make their jobs more complicated, they abide to that even though they think I am just being silly, but giving them a huge fat tip always helps them think otherwise.

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 15, 2012
at 11:52 PM

Yeah my friends shut up when I eat meat, but when I refuse to eat a Subway sandwich, UGH

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 15, 2012
at 11:51 PM

You're right, but I doubt I'll stay with my friends long enough to see them getting saggy boobs, while I don't, and then go "Hahaha I win". Also it's not my fault they think I am x, y, z.

Fc25b41326b954c4e5b8ce0dabb889a6

(523)

on July 15, 2012
at 01:02 PM

The first thing I explain is that this isn't a diet. It's not about weight loss for me. It's about health. All DIET means is "What one eats." Its been bastardized like the word "Fat"

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 15, 2012
at 08:05 AM

I am annoyed BECAUSE I know I am right.

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 15, 2012
at 08:04 AM

I used yoga as an example.

1d9af5db8833413037be3ac48964714f

(3789)

on July 15, 2012
at 04:50 AM

Also, you can imagine them all 20 years from now with big wheat bellies. I'm 48 and the vast majority of men my age (in the U.S.) have a gut. Many have large man-boobs. This will happen to most of your friends. Visualizing them with sagging breasts might make it easier to skip the pizza.

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 15, 2012
at 04:43 AM

No, people don't know I am embarrassed and annoyed. But when you get the same stupid reaction over and over..

1da74185531d6d4c7182fb9ee417f97f

(10904)

on July 15, 2012
at 04:10 AM

When are we going to start having the option to close "Wahhh i have butthurt because my friends/family/priest/grocery clerk doesn't like paleo" questions?

03a4ec34751186201a56da298ac843ce

(4100)

on July 15, 2012
at 03:35 AM

Hmmm...I understand. Maybe you can call ahead and ask questions?

Aa5154ef908fc4a5c255c552f32e334e

(256)

on July 15, 2012
at 01:40 AM

And you know, I really would not care that you looked at me funny.... because I am totally secure in my masculinity. Again, if you are annoyed by others reactions to your choices, you must be somewhat ashamed of those choices. I feel sad for those who do not understand why I choose to eat the way I do. I feel compassion that they are doomed to ill health while I enjoy robust health..... Of course you choose to see it however you wish.... Be annoyed or have confidence you are right.

1d9af5db8833413037be3ac48964714f

(3789)

on July 15, 2012
at 01:34 AM

If you are following a particular way of eating, your reputation as a Real Man will be deeply impaired by being noticeably embarrassed by people's reaction to it. If you can be cool enough to not give a flying ** what they think (or at least appear not to care), that's better than most of the alternatives. Imagine if Frank Sinatra had chosen to eat Paleo. Now imagine Dean-o ragging him about it. Would Frank have cared? If he had cared, would he have let Dean suspect that? No way. He would have told Dean to shove it and ate what he chose to eat. And he would have gained respect in doing so.

1d9af5db8833413037be3ac48964714f

(3789)

on July 15, 2012
at 01:32 AM

If you following a particular way of eating, your reputation as a Real Man will be deeply impaired by being noticeably embarrassed by people's reaction to it. If you can be cool enough to not give a flying **** what they think (or at least appear not to care), that's better than most of the alternatives. Imagine if Frank Sinatra had chosen to eat Paleo. Now imagine Dean-o ragging him about it. Would Frank have cared? If he had cared, would he have let Dean suspect that? No way. He would have told Dean to shove it and ate what he chose to eat. And he would have gained respect in doing so.

Aa5154ef908fc4a5c255c552f32e334e

(256)

on July 15, 2012
at 01:22 AM

I do yoga..... I am also a former Marine, disabled vet, biker, and father of 4....... What's your point? Men don't do yoga? Real men do whatever they wish and don't care what others think. Just my opinion.....

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 15, 2012
at 01:21 AM

Massage therapist? Lol I would look at you funny too. Not ashamed, more like, annoyed with other people's stupidity and how do I deal with it?

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 15, 2012
at 01:19 AM

Successful men know how to guard their reputation

Aa5154ef908fc4a5c255c552f32e334e

(256)

on July 15, 2012
at 01:16 AM

How do I deal with it? I don't care! I am proud of the choices I make, or I follow a path I am proud of. Don't mean to sound crass, just the truth.

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 15, 2012
at 01:12 AM

I don't avoid the rice. Plus veggies are more expensive, I can see why waiters would be hesitant

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 15, 2012
at 01:11 AM

Successful men pay attention to how they're perceived

F5f742cc9228eb5804114d0f3be4e587

(7660)

on July 15, 2012
at 12:29 AM

Medium?! No wonder they look at you funny... ;)

F5f742cc9228eb5804114d0f3be4e587

(7660)

on July 15, 2012
at 12:28 AM

Does anyone ever get an equal amount of veggies to the rice it replaces? I once had to pay EXTRA for no rice and extra kale, and lemme tell you, that was NOT what I would call "extra kale".

239bcbf6d0013fd74890f5c7305daf64

(664)

on July 15, 2012
at 12:25 AM

Cause we are MEN!!!!! ARRRRGH!!!!

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 14, 2012
at 11:21 PM

No one gives me crap about it, but they have the "I accept you for being metrosexual" tone and they end up assuming a whole lot other things about me too, such as me being vegan, doing yoga, etc which are none of what I do ugh

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 14, 2012
at 11:20 PM

Good point. I'll do that

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 14, 2012
at 11:19 PM

Yeah. that look.

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 14, 2012
at 11:18 PM

They have that "oh so you're one of THOSE people" look, especially when I go to a restaurant and ask what oil they cook in, for example. The waiter is kind but still, that look.

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 14, 2012
at 11:16 PM

Most people don't look down at me or think less of me, but they have that "I accept that you're metrosexual/gay/feminine" tone when they when we go out to eat

61c1efcc482019e016c45270b18c7453

(645)

on July 14, 2012
at 10:52 PM

Yeah God forbid you want to replace the rice with broccoli. I hate it when waiter's give me that look.

F9638b939a6f85d67f60065677193cad

(4266)

on July 14, 2012
at 10:46 PM

Yesterday an old man about 85 years old asked me if the dish I brought to a potluck had any meat in it. I think you're just young and that's why you see a gender difference.

03a4ec34751186201a56da298ac843ce

(4100)

on July 14, 2012
at 10:43 PM

@paleomofo: could you be more specific? What do you mean they get turned off? What exactly happens? What do they do?

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 14, 2012
at 10:40 PM

I am not metrosexual, don't want to come off as one. It seems that if there is even a hint that I care about my food, others get turned off

5ccb98f6ae42ce87e206cf3f6a86039f

(11581)

on July 14, 2012
at 10:39 PM

Taking an interest in your health is not girly, nor is it boyey. It's simply a good idea, and shows that you respect yourself as a human being. You get one body, you value it and treat it right. Maybe rephrase the way you express your interest in creating/maintaining a healthy being. Maybe the people who have reacted like that are somewhat immature. Maybe you're a bit sensitive about it. Maybe choice d) all of the above.

03a4ec34751186201a56da298ac843ce

(4100)

on July 14, 2012
at 10:33 PM

Hmmmmm...I live in NY and the guys can be downright girly about diet, among other things. I think the words metrosexual.

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11 Answers

12
1d9af5db8833413037be3ac48964714f

on July 15, 2012
at 12:08 AM

Real men don't care what other people think of what they eat.

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 15, 2012
at 01:11 AM

Successful men pay attention to how they're perceived

1d9af5db8833413037be3ac48964714f

(3789)

on July 15, 2012
at 01:34 AM

If you are following a particular way of eating, your reputation as a Real Man will be deeply impaired by being noticeably embarrassed by people's reaction to it. If you can be cool enough to not give a flying ** what they think (or at least appear not to care), that's better than most of the alternatives. Imagine if Frank Sinatra had chosen to eat Paleo. Now imagine Dean-o ragging him about it. Would Frank have cared? If he had cared, would he have let Dean suspect that? No way. He would have told Dean to shove it and ate what he chose to eat. And he would have gained respect in doing so.

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 15, 2012
at 01:19 AM

Successful men know how to guard their reputation

1d9af5db8833413037be3ac48964714f

(3789)

on July 15, 2012
at 04:50 AM

Also, you can imagine them all 20 years from now with big wheat bellies. I'm 48 and the vast majority of men my age (in the U.S.) have a gut. Many have large man-boobs. This will happen to most of your friends. Visualizing them with sagging breasts might make it easier to skip the pizza.

239bcbf6d0013fd74890f5c7305daf64

(664)

on July 15, 2012
at 12:25 AM

Cause we are MEN!!!!! ARRRRGH!!!!

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 15, 2012
at 04:43 AM

No, people don't know I am embarrassed and annoyed. But when you get the same stupid reaction over and over..

1d9af5db8833413037be3ac48964714f

(3789)

on July 15, 2012
at 01:32 AM

If you following a particular way of eating, your reputation as a Real Man will be deeply impaired by being noticeably embarrassed by people's reaction to it. If you can be cool enough to not give a flying **** what they think (or at least appear not to care), that's better than most of the alternatives. Imagine if Frank Sinatra had chosen to eat Paleo. Now imagine Dean-o ragging him about it. Would Frank have cared? If he had cared, would he have let Dean suspect that? No way. He would have told Dean to shove it and ate what he chose to eat. And he would have gained respect in doing so.

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 15, 2012
at 11:51 PM

You're right, but I doubt I'll stay with my friends long enough to see them getting saggy boobs, while I don't, and then go "Hahaha I win". Also it's not my fault they think I am x, y, z.

7
03a4ec34751186201a56da298ac843ce

on July 14, 2012
at 10:34 PM

Well, if you are embarrassed about not eating something because of health reasons, just go with "I don't like (insert food)." Hard to argue with that.

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 14, 2012
at 11:20 PM

Good point. I'll do that

5
239bcbf6d0013fd74890f5c7305daf64

on July 14, 2012
at 11:47 PM

As I turn to look at them, while wearing my biker gear, I look at them in the eye and order them to bring me a steak...medium...

And a nice salad...no dressing though...a few slices of fresh lemon would do nicely. Cause I am eatin like a cave man and I have a mean appetite tonight!!!

Seriously though, anyone who is really interested I will take the time to explain it to them. Anyone who is trying to hassle me about my diet learns quickly that unless you are my wife or my mother you better change you topic of discussion and fast. It is really important to remember that 'diet' has a negative connotation in our society although it really just refers to how a person, group, or society eats. We, as paleo aspirants, really are on a specific diet, but not unlike an asian male living in the Philipines would eat the foods they normally eat.

F5f742cc9228eb5804114d0f3be4e587

(7660)

on July 15, 2012
at 12:29 AM

Medium?! No wonder they look at you funny... ;)

Fc25b41326b954c4e5b8ce0dabb889a6

(523)

on July 15, 2012
at 01:02 PM

The first thing I explain is that this isn't a diet. It's not about weight loss for me. It's about health. All DIET means is "What one eats." Its been bastardized like the word "Fat"

5
Fc25b41326b954c4e5b8ce0dabb889a6

on July 14, 2012
at 10:50 PM

Hey man,

My friends give me hell for eating the way I do. When I ask questions at restaurants and make really weird requests, my friends give me crap, laugh, giggle, whatever. I've come to the point with it that I just DON'T CARE anymore. I'm the f***ing customer and I'm right. What I want, I should get. I'll tell my friends to shut their mouths and continue with my order. When my requests are met without issue on the part of the server, I reward them accordingly with a good tip. There is no reason to be embarrassed by what you eat, how you eat, or any aspect of your health when you are taking it into your hands. If others choose to kill themselves by what they eat, then let them do so and you'll be laughing all the way to healthful old age.

Stay strong my friend!

-Justin

61c1efcc482019e016c45270b18c7453

(645)

on July 14, 2012
at 10:52 PM

Yeah God forbid you want to replace the rice with broccoli. I hate it when waiter's give me that look.

F5f742cc9228eb5804114d0f3be4e587

(7660)

on July 15, 2012
at 12:28 AM

Does anyone ever get an equal amount of veggies to the rice it replaces? I once had to pay EXTRA for no rice and extra kale, and lemme tell you, that was NOT what I would call "extra kale".

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 15, 2012
at 01:12 AM

I don't avoid the rice. Plus veggies are more expensive, I can see why waiters would be hesitant

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 14, 2012
at 11:19 PM

Yeah. that look.

4
61c1efcc482019e016c45270b18c7453

(645)

on July 14, 2012
at 10:41 PM

ORRRR

You could just not care, and when they look at you (assuming you workout) and get jealous then it's too bad for them.

There's nothing embarrassing about watching what you eat. You're just more careful than others. Plain and simple. If others think less of you because of the way you eat then you should probably not want to be associated with them to begin with.

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 14, 2012
at 11:16 PM

Most people don't look down at me or think less of me, but they have that "I accept that you're metrosexual/gay/feminine" tone when they when we go out to eat

3
Aa5154ef908fc4a5c255c552f32e334e

on July 15, 2012
at 01:08 AM

Why do you even care? I am a 43 year old man and I assure you, I have no problem with how anyone views my dietary requests. You want to talk about funny looks, you ought to see the looks I get when I tell them I am a massage therapist.! But you know what? You learn as you get older that the opinions of others are there problem, not yours. Order as you wish, tell people proudly how you choose your food, and don't worry. Really, if you care so much how others view your choices, doesn't that show you are in a way ashamed of your choices? Be strong in your convictions, or choose a different path. Just my humble opinion and worth exactly what you paid for it!

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 15, 2012
at 08:05 AM

I am annoyed BECAUSE I know I am right.

Aa5154ef908fc4a5c255c552f32e334e

(256)

on July 15, 2012
at 01:40 AM

And you know, I really would not care that you looked at me funny.... because I am totally secure in my masculinity. Again, if you are annoyed by others reactions to your choices, you must be somewhat ashamed of those choices. I feel sad for those who do not understand why I choose to eat the way I do. I feel compassion that they are doomed to ill health while I enjoy robust health..... Of course you choose to see it however you wish.... Be annoyed or have confidence you are right.

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 15, 2012
at 01:21 AM

Massage therapist? Lol I would look at you funny too. Not ashamed, more like, annoyed with other people's stupidity and how do I deal with it?

2
Afc0b8e755ac7cdde6b517fdadb50026

(778)

on September 07, 2013
at 12:44 AM

hypermasculinity....causing most of the worlds problems since...neolithic times bro

2
81348acb7b886e2b32ca915d250268f3

(1022)

on July 14, 2012
at 10:56 PM

I think you need to change your own perception on this. Yes I get that there is a bit of an expectation on men to be all macho and 'not-giving-a-fk' or have a 'harden-up' attitude, and being on any form of diet flies in the face of that. But at the end of the day, don't you think it's incredibly rediculous that someone would try to hang sh!t on you for trying to look after your body and health? If anyone questions your food habits, just call them on it. No need to be an ass about it or anything but just say you prefer not to damage your body with unhealthy food. In any case, I'm pretty sure bacon and steak are the two manliest foods on earth. :)

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 14, 2012
at 11:21 PM

No one gives me crap about it, but they have the "I accept you for being metrosexual" tone and they end up assuming a whole lot other things about me too, such as me being vegan, doing yoga, etc which are none of what I do ugh

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 15, 2012
at 08:04 AM

I used yoga as an example.

Aa5154ef908fc4a5c255c552f32e334e

(256)

on July 15, 2012
at 01:22 AM

I do yoga..... I am also a former Marine, disabled vet, biker, and father of 4....... What's your point? Men don't do yoga? Real men do whatever they wish and don't care what others think. Just my opinion.....

2
5ccb98f6ae42ce87e206cf3f6a86039f

(11581)

on July 14, 2012
at 10:41 PM

Taking an interest in your health is not girly, nor is it boyey. It's simply a good idea, and shows that you respect yourself as a human being. You get one body, you value it and treat it right. Maybe rephrase the way you express your interest in creating/maintaining a healthy being. Maybe the people who have reacted like that are somewhat immature. Maybe you're a bit sensitive about it. Maybe choice d) all of the above. Maybe choice e) ???.

Best way to deal with this IMO is to remember that "those who mind, don't matter and those who matter, don't mind."

1
96d492bc621cf194ec53acd8084dadb0

on July 15, 2012
at 01:38 PM

For me, I'm only embarrassed in restaurants, because I hate to add complication to somebody's job. That's why I almost always cook for myself. Normally, I'm actually proud of it. I was when I was a vegetarian as well. I'm sure the world would be a better place if we all put a little more thought into what we eat. Especially if that thought process leads us to eat real, unprocessed foods.

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 15, 2012
at 11:53 PM

I make their jobs more complicated, they abide to that even though they think I am just being silly, but giving them a huge fat tip always helps them think otherwise.

1
2a00b9a42e4cb6e489a0e69d20714576

on July 15, 2012
at 12:56 PM

If it bothers you that much its your body. Poison vs some idiots socially accepting you in society. hmmmm I wonder what most people would chose. But its your choice. No one has tied you down and beaten you to eat that delicious steak:)

8e10b687e328468783a72c55b64710e8

(1453)

on July 15, 2012
at 11:52 PM

Yeah my friends shut up when I eat meat, but when I refuse to eat a Subway sandwich, UGH

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