1

votes

Have any of you ever lost friends because you eat differently than them?

Answered on September 12, 2014
Created December 27, 2012 at 3:18 AM

I think it might be one of the many reasons why my friends from high school are treating me like I've gone off to drink mead in Valhalla or Elysium ever since I started college

F299706618ad5d2c014130cb35d07dcf

(628)

on December 31, 2012
at 06:51 AM

Oh I see. Sorry for assuming you were in high school. College is hard! Pizza and beer just can't be a dietary staple for me either. I have type 1 diabetes. I understand what you mean about worrying about your friends a little. I'm the only one among my friends that hasn't gained weight since high school. It's pretty sad actually.

F02990386b12528111740ad6279ba29d

(1363)

on December 29, 2012
at 02:13 PM

Cmon... a little bit of bread isn't going to kill you.

F5a0ddffcf9ef5beca864050f090a790

(15515)

on December 28, 2012
at 05:19 AM

"gluten intolerant" and "cross reactive" are the buzz words. People don't understand ... and they will accommodate.

A048b66e08306d405986b6c04bf5e8e4

on December 27, 2012
at 07:05 PM

Thanks,,,I know that dietary choices shouldn't make or break friendships, but I'm in college now, and I've been missing my friends from high school, and I think that my different dietary choices are one of the many things have set me apart from them...and for the record I am allergic to milk and have gluten sensitivity, the main reasion I started eating differently from my friends in the first place, yet at the same time I'm worried about my friends, who are slowly kiling themselves with the SAD diet (hey they don't call it the "SAD" diet for nothing)

B2634bf90fa31b48a60e7c4f06761200

(694)

on December 27, 2012
at 06:11 AM

just say you are "allergic" to whatever you can't eat. People can't really give you a hard time about that. If you're doing paleo.. say you're allergic to wheat!

A048b66e08306d405986b6c04bf5e8e4

on December 27, 2012
at 03:54 AM

All true...I'm in college now, but I was the only real "health nut" among my circle of friends from high school, and when I would lie back and think of the fried chickend and pizza my friends would tempt me with as I stomach down my home-cooked, clean, often boring-on-bleh lunch, I couldn't help but think I'd sold my soul for good health and improved athletic ability, but that lead me to worry about my SAD friends, who are all slowly killing themselves with the SAD diet (hey, they don't call it the "SAD" diet for nothing).

A048b66e08306d405986b6c04bf5e8e4

on December 27, 2012
at 03:46 AM

I have been making new friends, (you know how it is when you go somewhere new) but my friends from high school were all big SAD-junkies and with me being on a gluten free, dairy free diet (which I was on long before I ever tried paleo) really put a barrier between me and my SAD friends and sometimes I would avoid them when they would have their SAD noms and not consider my dietary needs...it can just be so wicked hard and tempting when everyone around you eats SAD when you're not

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16 Answers

8
61f9349ad28e3c42d1cec58ba4825a7d

(10480)

on December 27, 2012
at 04:50 AM

No, but I have ditched people for being outright disrespectful of my dietary choices. Granted, they were disrespectful of me in ways other than my food choices, but it seems that people who are disrespectful in one way tend to be disrespectful in many ways.

5
73689d59af924127c99bab37ce42ac10

(109)

on December 27, 2012
at 05:57 AM

Yes, as someone in their midtwenties and having difficulty drinking (heart racing, hot itchy, etc..) as well as having other dietary restrictions, I struggle with feeling like I am no longer "fun" and worry that I come off uptight. This is something I'm still learning to negotiate. Food really is a bonding activity.

F5a0ddffcf9ef5beca864050f090a790

(15515)

on December 28, 2012
at 05:19 AM

"gluten intolerant" and "cross reactive" are the buzz words. People don't understand ... and they will accommodate.

B2634bf90fa31b48a60e7c4f06761200

(694)

on December 27, 2012
at 06:11 AM

just say you are "allergic" to whatever you can't eat. People can't really give you a hard time about that. If you're doing paleo.. say you're allergic to wheat!

F02990386b12528111740ad6279ba29d

(1363)

on December 29, 2012
at 02:13 PM

Cmon... a little bit of bread isn't going to kill you.

5
089dd41b18fbb95ebb5347cded708d98

(5635)

on December 27, 2012
at 03:47 AM

yeah. once i couldn't go out to eat, people stopped asking me to do things. it seems food is such a bonding think with people.

4
00cd3b6f51530a6832fcda1712edbec3

(2411)

on December 27, 2012
at 03:21 AM

You might consider making some new friends ??? you know, those who don't make a big deal of your diet.

A048b66e08306d405986b6c04bf5e8e4

on December 27, 2012
at 03:46 AM

I have been making new friends, (you know how it is when you go somewhere new) but my friends from high school were all big SAD-junkies and with me being on a gluten free, dairy free diet (which I was on long before I ever tried paleo) really put a barrier between me and my SAD friends and sometimes I would avoid them when they would have their SAD noms and not consider my dietary needs...it can just be so wicked hard and tempting when everyone around you eats SAD when you're not

3
Fd70d71f4f8195c3a098eda4fc817d4f

(8014)

on December 27, 2012
at 02:12 PM

If you don't make a big deal of it, they shouldn't either. You don't have to be anti-social or stay home every night. You can pretty much always find something acceptable at a restaurant, and if you're worried you can't, there's nothing wrong with bringing your own food if you must. Just say you have some very complicated food sensitivities and it's easier for everyone involved if you just bring your own. Order a coffee or tea if you need to order something to please the wait staff.

But mostly, like other people have said, if your friends care more about what you eat than who you are, I'm not sure you want them as friends anyway. Just don't preach. They don't need to be told that their bread/pasta/soda/cookies aren't good for them. That's not exactly a news flash.

Don't let your diet define your social life. You're gonna get pretty darn lonely if you do. Your options are only as limited as you allow them to be.

3
5c9fda2bd0018516806bba200a93f6fa

(608)

on December 27, 2012
at 06:52 AM

No not really, but everytime there is a family gathering like the holidays or sunday dinner or go to a friends party and they see me eating meat and plants and water they think i'm crazy and that my diet is bland. Then i see them downing beer, soda, cake and chips and smoking cigarrettes, i just laugh. It's funny to me now, i used to eat like that and never though much of it, now i know. I look at food and nutrition from an entirely different more natural approach now. If it's 3 topics i avoid discussing at social gatherings it's food(diet), religion and politics. Live your life and have fun around people and stand your ground. Don't be afraid to make choices that might make you the "outcast" or the different one. Respect people's choices and demand that they respect yours. If you lose a friend due to your dietary choices, then they were never a friend to begin with.

3
F5a0ddffcf9ef5beca864050f090a790

(15515)

on December 27, 2012
at 06:29 AM

No, not at all. People who bond with others based on social activities like drinking/eating out cannot be called friends. Just buddies. Your real friends would never abandon you because of what you eat/drink/do. Unless you want to have a shallow friendship.

3
B2634bf90fa31b48a60e7c4f06761200

on December 27, 2012
at 06:10 AM

Actually I found that I could be creative with eating paleo when I ate out, so I could still enjoy the social bonding of eating out with friends.

I was probably most annoying to the servers because I would add a bunch of changes to my order.. like.. could I please substitute the potatoes for steamed vegetables, can I have broccoli instead of rice, stuff like that.

Once I figured this part out, everything became ok. My friends barely noticed.

2
Ee6932fe54ad68039a8d5f7a8caa0468

(2668)

on December 27, 2012
at 03:38 AM

i get teased. it pisses me off, but i deal (and tease back). if they actually stopped hanging out with me because of my diet, were they really friends to begin with??

2
46d2d71df39b4a6336df6d8307b25d87

(278)

on December 27, 2012
at 03:33 AM

No--but I do have friends at work who will go out of their way to point out when I am (or appear to be) eating off the paleo plan. I also work with a girl who likes to point out that her family is transitioning to a vegetarian lifestyle when people comment on the delicious roast chicken/beef stew/etc I'm eating for lunch. I've learned that the "smile and nod" technique works best--just let them be happy with what they have, and I'll stay happy with what I'm doing.

If you're in high school right now, don't worry too much--friends come and go at that stage of life, and I don't think it's worth investing time into those who won't hang out with you because you eat different food. If you're just referring to long-time friends, maybe they'll come around when you start reaping the benefits of good food.

A048b66e08306d405986b6c04bf5e8e4

on December 27, 2012
at 03:54 AM

All true...I'm in college now, but I was the only real "health nut" among my circle of friends from high school, and when I would lie back and think of the fried chickend and pizza my friends would tempt me with as I stomach down my home-cooked, clean, often boring-on-bleh lunch, I couldn't help but think I'd sold my soul for good health and improved athletic ability, but that lead me to worry about my SAD friends, who are all slowly killing themselves with the SAD diet (hey, they don't call it the "SAD" diet for nothing).

1
532cfd279d793e8fcc23b9f6d91dde5c

(1981)

on December 27, 2012
at 09:59 PM

I had a reputation as a "weirdo-health-nut" before paleo, so my friends were already on board with the fact that I usually can't or won't eat certain foods. It's not a big deal, I like to explain the whys and wherefores of my food choices if someone expresses an interest, but otherwise they don't mention it.

1
3846a3b61bc9051e4baebdef62e58c52

(18635)

on December 27, 2012
at 06:47 PM

No.........guess i'm not easily manipulated though and i can definitely dish it out as well as anyone. Oh, and highschool friends? Got one left. Life goes on and after going through 8 years of post grad work you make new friends.

Oh, I should also point out that I was a wrestler for 16 years. When you fast 3-4 days/week for 5 months of the year you tend to learn how to be around people without what they are eating bother you. Food is only the centerpiece of the social interaction if you let it be. It's a lot like alcohol in that sense. You think everyone cares that your not drinking with them...in reality they don't give a shit....they are only concerned about whats going into their own pie hole.

1
3ce6a0d24be025e2f2af534545bdd1d7

(26217)

on December 27, 2012
at 02:33 PM

Look, if your "friends" treat you differently because you have a different belief systems -- whether it be religion, diet, lifestyle, whatever -- then DITCH THEM.

Sometimes my friends will joke when they see me eating yogurt and say, "Did cavemen eat yogurt?" but it's in jest and I don't mind it because I know where I stand with them.

Also, it can be annoying when I have to pick where we go to eat EVERY TIME WE GO OUT!!! but at least they care enough to ask.

I will also add, with respect to high school friends, I've kept in tough with about five of them. Once I got to college, I started to really trust who I was, and the people I hung out with in high school didn't matter as much. Then when I started working, the people I hung out with in college didn't matter as much. There's a few people I have always been, and hopefully always will be close to. But the older I get the more I realize that you only need your family, and a few really good friends. Everyone else just adds drama and stress to your life.

1
F299706618ad5d2c014130cb35d07dcf

on December 27, 2012
at 04:00 AM

I have struggled with this slightly in college and I can only imagine how challenging it could be in high school! Losing friends over the way you eat is stupid. You know that. Yes, finding people who are more opened minded to your food choices seems like it would work, but it's not really practical. If you are in high school the last thing you want to do is lose your friends, I remember how it was. Maybe, you could find a way to explain it to them so they understand a little better and stop bugging you about it or avoiding you because they just don't get it. By your food choices, I imagine you probably know more about nutrition than your friends do. You may have to "dumb it down" a little for them or compare it to being allergic to things. Once they can wrap their heads around it, you just have to find a way you can hang out with them while resisting the temptations of the food they eat. I'm working on that one right now. Best of luck. I hope this helped a little bit!

  • Hannah

A048b66e08306d405986b6c04bf5e8e4

on December 27, 2012
at 07:05 PM

Thanks,,,I know that dietary choices shouldn't make or break friendships, but I'm in college now, and I've been missing my friends from high school, and I think that my different dietary choices are one of the many things have set me apart from them...and for the record I am allergic to milk and have gluten sensitivity, the main reasion I started eating differently from my friends in the first place, yet at the same time I'm worried about my friends, who are slowly kiling themselves with the SAD diet (hey they don't call it the "SAD" diet for nothing)

F299706618ad5d2c014130cb35d07dcf

(628)

on December 31, 2012
at 06:51 AM

Oh I see. Sorry for assuming you were in high school. College is hard! Pizza and beer just can't be a dietary staple for me either. I have type 1 diabetes. I understand what you mean about worrying about your friends a little. I'm the only one among my friends that hasn't gained weight since high school. It's pretty sad actually.

0
0b7c3e7fd96005f0b2dfd781e512fc2e

(1237)

on December 29, 2012
at 05:17 PM

Unless your friendship is based on food or they have ethical qualms with eating meat, I don't see why anyone would lose friends over going paleo. Yes it will affect your social life in a superficial way what with dinner parties, restaurant outings and perhaps forgoing alcohol, but those things are not what most people value in a friend. If they are any kind of friend at all.

0
2e777bbcd49262eb31a24f821abec6bc

(1974)

on December 29, 2012
at 01:32 PM

I don't really find paleo that limiting. I only go out to eat once a week max but I just order meat and veggies. My go to meal is a steak. SADers definitely don't comment on my being a health nut when I eat that since SAD makes red meat out to be evil. The only thing people might comment on is that I turn down the loaf of bread on the table. I just say I have a wheat allergy though and then eat my steak.

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