6

votes

Am I being selfish?

Answered on August 19, 2014
Created November 24, 2010 at 3:36 PM

I hate it when my "guests", who eat the SAD, want to always "try" my paleo food. It would be different if they felt the way I do, but they aren't interested in changing. They stay over and want to eat my grass-fed beef, pastured chicken and eggs, and my organic produce. My wife does not follow the paleo diet religiously, so we keep non-paleo food around for everyone but they would rather sample my more expensive paleo food. I buy enough to supply my needs. Should I hope they like enough to convert and not worry?

3356ba7b8584634c67476c213c291fe1

(458)

on March 27, 2012
at 01:30 AM

Exactly, it's not just the price but the availability. When we have snacks at work, I bring a meat tray and everyone else brings donuts. They all eat my meat tray, but I don't eat their donuts. Effers!

518bce04b12cd77741237e1f61075194

(11577)

on March 27, 2012
at 12:18 AM

Yeah, haha, I have "this is dinner" written on certain cans and "this is okay for snacking" on others. My poor BF, gets treated like a child...but it works!

78cb3c4f70de5db2adb52b6b9671894b

(5519)

on March 26, 2012
at 11:57 PM

That's how I feel, Mari. I am trying really hard to curb binging by pre-planning and it sucks when my plans are throw off when I'm not prepared for it.

Cab7e4ef73c5d7d7a77e1c3d7f5773a1

(7304)

on November 24, 2010
at 07:52 PM

my parents do call me selfish for doing this. I buy pastured eggs, and I know I need x for the week. My family does not understand why I get mad when they eat them all, and then I have nothing to eat! especially when they use them in cookies or something. drives me crazy.

1568416ef28477d1fa29046218d83ddd

(6235)

on November 24, 2010
at 06:22 PM

If I don't enjoy having people over I don't invite them. Even if we are kin by blood. I will meet other places or visit them on occasion, but my home is a place that I limit to people I truly enjoy.

3356ba7b8584634c67476c213c291fe1

(458)

on November 24, 2010
at 05:04 PM

I buy from a local farm in bulk, so it isn't the cost as much as the availability of the quality stuff.

3356ba7b8584634c67476c213c291fe1

(458)

on November 24, 2010
at 05:02 PM

Eva, it is a little of both. It is the same guests (family) that I would love to share with, but I have taught them all I can about the benefits, but they aren't too interested. It is less financial, but more about the limited resources. If I could get more from my sources, I wouldn't mind as much, but they quality stuff is limited. I do like your ideas though.

3356ba7b8584634c67476c213c291fe1

(458)

on November 24, 2010
at 05:00 PM

Todd, that is exactly my issue. It is the same guests (family) that I don't mind sharing with, but they have decided it is not for them (on their wallet), but choose my food when I won't eat theirs. I always offer to all of my guests, but it the repeat offenders that get me.

7e746be2f0e550a8cd7df881322ae705

(18701)

on November 24, 2010
at 03:56 PM

I also always have extra copies of my recipes on hand to pass them out to everyone that likes them!

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12 Answers

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3
50637dfd7dc7a7e811d82283f4f5fd10

(5838)

on November 24, 2010
at 04:03 PM

I deal with this constantly. My parents always want to "try" my food. In the beginning, this was awesome. I felt the same way as Eva (if they were eating food that was healthier for them, good). The problem is, I go all across town to different stores, markets, online farms, to get my foods, while they go to Vons, and load their basket with crap. Then come dinner time, they always say "wow, your food looks and smells so much better, can we try it?" 20 minutes later, I have half the food, and the only left-over (which I wont eat) is their crap.

Simple fix, right? try to get them to go Paleo themselves. I've tried (for months). They think it's rubbish.

I guess my point is, yes, I also feel selfish, but it really is simple. You make your food with a certain idea or goal behind it. They eat anything in front of them. So if they truly do not care, and they just want to eat food, they should eat theirs.

I feel like an arse saying it... but, it is what it is.

1568416ef28477d1fa29046218d83ddd

(6235)

on November 24, 2010
at 06:22 PM

If I don't enjoy having people over I don't invite them. Even if we are kin by blood. I will meet other places or visit them on occasion, but my home is a place that I limit to people I truly enjoy.

3356ba7b8584634c67476c213c291fe1

(458)

on November 24, 2010
at 05:00 PM

Todd, that is exactly my issue. It is the same guests (family) that I don't mind sharing with, but they have decided it is not for them (on their wallet), but choose my food when I won't eat theirs. I always offer to all of my guests, but it the repeat offenders that get me.

13
D4586f8cac3bbbd49c3540f774247256

(270)

on November 24, 2010
at 04:37 PM

Don't underestimate the social part of eating! ;) I would rather buy more lower quality meat (or any paleo food) to share with others, than less of higher quality to eat alone! ...and if possible, even more quality meat to share! ^^ ...also if the money side is really bothering you, then arrange it so that you'll cook more of the good food If they'll buy it (then they'll learn where to buy real food, you share the good food, and spend less money)

7
5841391284e7af8c495c54bd90d3a795

(2764)

on November 24, 2010
at 04:10 PM

I'm not trying to be too flip (well, maybe a little) but maybe that would be the time to break out the grass-fed liver, brains, kidney, steak tartar or pemmican.

Selfish? Yeah, maybe a little but it sounds more like you feel you're being taken advantage of. While I agree with Eva re: hospitality, the difference may come down to being (or feeling) used. If you can't be certain that they're freeloading be generous. If you (and your wife?) feel they are then a conversation with your friends is in order.

3
Cfccbcf3450ac4919311ded8ef162d49

(2312)

on November 25, 2010
at 05:41 AM

Are you being selfish? Maybe, and I suppose I am, too. I cook paleo for my family, and although we have plenty of GF beef and pastured pork, homegrown rabbit and goat and eggs from free range chickens when our chickens are producing, not all our food is organic. When I cook for guests, I go shopping at the regular grocery and buy regular food and still cook paleo, but at least it's not our prime stuff.

3
1568416ef28477d1fa29046218d83ddd

(6235)

on November 24, 2010
at 04:10 PM

It just seems bizarre to me to feed guests something substantially different from what I eat. If I can't afford grassfed we all eat conventional. My guests get fed as well as I do. I might add something like a cake that I would not eat, but the idea of subtracting is just weird to me.

3
7e746be2f0e550a8cd7df881322ae705

on November 24, 2010
at 03:42 PM

Personally, I am always happy to share my healthier way of eating with people I care about. I understand about the cost of it, but the cost outweighs my belief that I wish so many people in my life ate healthier. I say, just be selective about what you bring out in front of your "guests". If you aren't willing to share it, then eat something you are willing to share. Make some awesome paleo casseroles or appetizers that everyone will enjoy!

7e746be2f0e550a8cd7df881322ae705

(18701)

on November 24, 2010
at 03:56 PM

I also always have extra copies of my recipes on hand to pass them out to everyone that likes them!

2
3eca93d2e56dfcd768197dc5a50944f2

(11697)

on March 27, 2012
at 01:45 AM

I believe you're selfish, yes. Whatever you have, share with the others, even if it's the expensive kind. Of course it's easy for me to point fingers, and I apologize for this, but I believe we should always strive to share. I had some goat stew yesterday, and all I could think of was how I could share my food with others. I even tweeted about that fact!

1
0266737ea1782946902fd3f8e60fa0b9

(2504)

on March 27, 2012
at 12:54 AM

i can't imagine feeding other people something different from what I would eat. But if you feel angry about them eating your expensive food, maybe make something inexpensive that you'll still enjoy--maybe a pastured egg frittata? Or a beautiful salad? My hubby is Filipino, and when we go to his family xmas party, there is a veritable cornucopia of food I won't eat. So I bring a ginormous salad, and his relatives eat it up--so I make enough for my meal and for them to all have their once a year dosage of salad. Everyone's happy-i don't have to eat food I don't want, and they get to have a once a year salad and feel virtuous :)

1
Medium avatar

(2338)

on March 26, 2012
at 11:51 PM

what comes around goes around... be as generous as you can it's worth it

1
78cb3c4f70de5db2adb52b6b9671894b

on March 26, 2012
at 11:46 PM

I was just going to post a question similar to yours. My boyfriend is using my canned salmon and pastured eggs right now and I want to cry. I pre-plan my meals and this will change how I eat the rest of the week. We buy our own food and I wouldn't mind if he ate say, some vegetables because that's not changing my plans by THAT much, but canned salmon (and he chose the more pricer can) is MINEEEE.

3356ba7b8584634c67476c213c291fe1

(458)

on March 27, 2012
at 01:30 AM

Exactly, it's not just the price but the availability. When we have snacks at work, I bring a meat tray and everyone else brings donuts. They all eat my meat tray, but I don't eat their donuts. Effers!

518bce04b12cd77741237e1f61075194

(11577)

on March 27, 2012
at 12:18 AM

Yeah, haha, I have "this is dinner" written on certain cans and "this is okay for snacking" on others. My poor BF, gets treated like a child...but it works!

1
976844bb16c0ab60ca2632aa5df149f8

(317)

on November 24, 2010
at 03:56 PM

Where do you buy your protein? Farmers markets are always less expensive than grocery stores like earthfare, whole foods, and fresh market. Buying straight from the farm is cheapest. Maybe if you find a less expensive source you won't be upset to watch someone take your food for granted.

3356ba7b8584634c67476c213c291fe1

(458)

on November 24, 2010
at 05:04 PM

I buy from a local farm in bulk, so it isn't the cost as much as the availability of the quality stuff.

1
62ed65f3596aa2f62fa1d58a0c09f8c3

(20807)

on November 24, 2010
at 03:55 PM

Is this a financial situation or a psychological one? If you are strained to buy enough healthy food for yourself, my advice would be to talk less about paleo to potential guests and hide the more expensive stuff.

If your issue is more psychological, then all I can say is, IMO, I like to give guests the best food I have in my house and all the better if that food is healthy for them with lots of K and omega vitamins, etc. If I can do a bit to help their health, that makes me happy. And if they learn more about nutrition, think about it, and be more open minded and knowledgeable in the future, I am even more happy. You don't have to be full paleo to improve your diet and be healhtier than you were before. And like I said, the way I was raised, you always give your guests the best of what you have.

When I visit other people's houses, one thing I enjoy is tasting new recipes and kinds of foods. If I really like those foods, I will endeavor to make them myself later at home. If I don't really like them, at least the experience was interesting. Personally, I feel that curiosity about new foods is a healthy open minded behavior. I can either eat the same old thing all the time or I can keep my eye out for new variations and learn from the experts on those variations.

3356ba7b8584634c67476c213c291fe1

(458)

on November 24, 2010
at 05:02 PM

Eva, it is a little of both. It is the same guests (family) that I would love to share with, but I have taught them all I can about the benefits, but they aren't too interested. It is less financial, but more about the limited resources. If I could get more from my sources, I wouldn't mind as much, but they quality stuff is limited. I do like your ideas though.

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