2

votes

What to do when your parent is scapegoating meat and fat for health problems?

Answered on September 12, 2014
Created March 14, 2012 at 4:52 PM

To follow this diet I have already cut a lot of the carbs for sure. The problem I am having is my parents believing in what the doctor says like if it is something that it is a law. I am sure the doctor are still on the concept that carbs is good for you. Every single time I attempt to justify how my diet is benefiting my health my mom starts yelling at me for some weird reason even tho I was calmly trying to explain it. I am already lost close to 20 pounds from this diet but my problem is getting the necessary fat and meat for my diet. I have the money purchase it but my parent always attempt to scare me on how it will give you cancer which is frustrating as hell or attempts to throw them away.

1a7ba557a417504545aa70272b226f8f

on March 29, 2012
at 05:37 PM

Thanks for the kind words, Kamal!

E6830ffdca55dd510dd80a016a7ce50b

(25)

on March 15, 2012
at 03:34 PM

The diet they follow is the modern diet of more carb and less meat plus fat cause they think it causes cancer which is not so smart if you ask me so I usually had to go my friend's place to get some decent paleo food

D31a2a2d43191b15ca4a1c7ec7d03038

(4134)

on March 14, 2012
at 09:28 PM

Any chance that your grandparents or great-grandparents ate/eat similarly to the way you do now? I pull out the ancestors as examples, whenever it seems necessary. I have to do it sparingly, or that examples loses its weight. I wish you all the best. :)

21fd060d0796fdb8a4a990441e08eae7

(24543)

on March 14, 2012
at 06:35 PM

Excellent first answer, good to have you on paleohacks! (My sister an ND, so it's always nice to see one floating around here)

21fd060d0796fdb8a4a990441e08eae7

(24543)

on March 14, 2012
at 06:34 PM

Print outs bound at Kinkos show that you're serious, although vegetarians will think you are both crazy and type A.

Ef69ca2d5434e470d44f7fa6b4cc1965

(86)

on March 14, 2012
at 06:12 PM

I agree, you are now in the position of being an educator to your parents. They need information from authoritative sources. Use any reference material that you can find, that is based on good solid science. Be patient with them.

Ef69ca2d5434e470d44f7fa6b4cc1965

(86)

on March 14, 2012
at 05:44 PM

Very good reference material.

Medium avatar

(39821)

on March 14, 2012
at 05:32 PM

My parents are just glad I'm not a vegan anymore. Perhaps you should threaten to become a vegan communist of some sort.

96bf58d8c6bd492dc5b8ae46203fe247

(37227)

on March 14, 2012
at 05:08 PM

I have printed some articles by [Dr Kurt Harris](http://www.archevore.com/get-started/) and [J Stanton](http://www.gnolls.org/1141/eat-like-a-predator-not-like-prey-paleo-in-six-easy-steps-a-motivational-guide/) and [Chris Kresser--the link is to part 1 but I also printed part 2](http://chriskresser.com/9-steps-to-perfect-health-1-dont-eat-toxins) etc., to show people who care about me and are worried about my safety. Others don't matter.

1296f5fecd084f101d7c5fbe013f07eb

(1213)

on March 14, 2012
at 05:07 PM

What sort of diet do your parents follow, if any?

1296f5fecd084f101d7c5fbe013f07eb

(1213)

on March 14, 2012
at 05:07 PM

What sort of diet do your parents follow, if any?

  • E6830ffdca55dd510dd80a016a7ce50b

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6 Answers

3
1a7ba557a417504545aa70272b226f8f

on March 14, 2012
at 06:21 PM

A growing number of doctors now actively support Paleo or Paleo-like diets. The bottom line is they want the best for you. Do what you can to bring the issue up in the calmest way you can, at a time when they're least stressed and so most disposed to hear. You'll definitely want to offer them good resources so they can learn. And it's hard to argue with the success you've had with the diet, especially if your doctor declares you healthy.

Here are some easy links for them:

In depth discussion of the science behind fat phobia, from an MD: http://www.lewrockwell.com/miller/miller38.1.html

This one's less about meat/fat and more about veggies, but very profound. It's a 17-minute video by an MD who REVERSED her multiple sclerosis using a Paleo diet. This is nutrition 101, in my opinion, and I'm recommending it to all my patients: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fs7jqqdv5eg

Here's another article going around, by a retired heart surgeon who says the cause of heart disease is carbs, not fat. I offer it with a caveat, however: For reasons that may be political rather than medical, this doctor did have his license revoked in Arizona. I know because I looked it up. Most people don't. If your parents do, they may use it as an excuse to discredit the point. So use with caution. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/242516-Heart-Surgeon-Speaks-Out-On-What-Really-Causes-Heart-Disease

Finally, this is a great article debunking the latest round of studies purporting to show that red meat will kill you. It goes into really good depth about what makes research good or bad, and looks at the references study authors use to support their claims (and which often discredit those claims if you look.) Not by an MD, but I find it to be sound: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/will-eating-red-meat-kill-you/#axzz1p6vTemcT

Finally, you can find doctors who support Paleo lifestyles here: http://paleophysiciansnetwork.com/. Not all are medical doctors ??? I'm on there and I'm a naturopathic doctor ??? but finding someone local with credentials your parents respect may also be a big help.

Good luck!

21fd060d0796fdb8a4a990441e08eae7

(24543)

on March 14, 2012
at 06:35 PM

Excellent first answer, good to have you on paleohacks! (My sister an ND, so it's always nice to see one floating around here)

1a7ba557a417504545aa70272b226f8f

on March 29, 2012
at 05:37 PM

Thanks for the kind words, Kamal!

3
B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on March 14, 2012
at 05:29 PM

Keep calm and carry on. But please, never talk about your diet unless it's really necessary. From the hundreds of people around me, only my butcher believes me (she's the coolest person ever). It would be a waste of time to discuss meat and fat.

Your parents don't seem very reasonable right now, but I'd say talk to them and make sure they know for certain you really care about your health. They attack you because they're scared, and that's beautiful.

Ef69ca2d5434e470d44f7fa6b4cc1965

(86)

on March 14, 2012
at 06:12 PM

I agree, you are now in the position of being an educator to your parents. They need information from authoritative sources. Use any reference material that you can find, that is based on good solid science. Be patient with them.

3
96bf58d8c6bd492dc5b8ae46203fe247

(37227)

on March 14, 2012
at 05:10 PM

If they're willing to read about what you're doing, I have a suggestion.

I have printed some articles by Dr Kurt Harris and J Stanton and Chris Kresser--the link is to part 1 but I also printed part 2 etc., to show people who care about me and are worried about my safety. Others don't matter.

Ef69ca2d5434e470d44f7fa6b4cc1965

(86)

on March 14, 2012
at 05:44 PM

Very good reference material.

21fd060d0796fdb8a4a990441e08eae7

(24543)

on March 14, 2012
at 06:34 PM

Print outs bound at Kinkos show that you're serious, although vegetarians will think you are both crazy and type A.

1
Fd7b128cf714044a86d8bd822c7a8992

(4292)

on March 14, 2012
at 06:02 PM

Have you tried saying something to your parents like, "I know you have some concerns about my diet, but personally I find that it works best for me. Every person is different and the best diet for you isn't necessarily the best diet for me, so I would really appreciate it if you could let me make my own food choices." Don't ask them to believe in the paleo diet, ask them to let you make your own decisions, even though they might disagree. Ask them to respect you as an adult. Don't accuse them of anything or try to change their minds, and don't let them steer you off-topic into a debate about whether or not the diet is good or bad: that's not the point here.

Maybe you could also agree that after some time you'll go get blood work done, and get tested to make sure you're not deficient in anything.

Sometimes parents give us grief about things because they care - are they worried that you aren't getting enough nutrients? Or that you'll lose too much weight and starve? Would it help if you took a multivitamin or agreed that you won't lose weight below XXX pounds? Their problem might not be with the diet per se, it's that they love you and want you to be healthy and happy and they're scared. If you can address the root cause and make some kind of compromise to assure them of your health (which is what they really care about), they might back off on the diet.

I think a lot of compassion on your part is the key here, which is hard because they are being unreasonable, but it's probably because they're scared and having a knee-jerk reaction (or maybe have a lot of eating issues of their own).

1
Medium avatar

on March 14, 2012
at 05:58 PM

There is an inverse correlation between aging and being worried about what mom and dad think and say. That is, the older one gets, the less one should care. Of course this presumes a correlation between chronology and maturity, where the latter is closely linked to autonomy. Trust your choices, respect your parents, appreciate their sincere if somewhat clunky interventions, and get on with your life. Make it a life you love.

0
Ef69ca2d5434e470d44f7fa6b4cc1965

(86)

on March 14, 2012
at 05:52 PM

Just remember that eating Paleo does not mean that you increase salt intake. Try to use bacon, sausage and lunch meats sparingly. Try to get grass fed beef and free range chicken when possible. Our Paleo ancestors did not have salt shakers, so go easy with that. I cover my dinner plate with 1/2 veggies or salad, 1/4 of my plate with butternut squash or sweet potato (if I feel like having those, which often I don't. In that case veggies and salad cover 3/4 of my plate) the other 1/4 of my plate is pure protein (grass fed beef or bison or free range chicken).

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