13

votes

Did paleo mess up your relationship?

Answered on August 19, 2014
Created October 27, 2011 at 8:49 PM

Peggy at the Primal Parent says it played a role in her breakup.

I would say it definitely has played a role in past breakups, but usually a small one. For example, in one relationship we had both lost a lot of weight together, but then he started eating sugar flavored sugar sugar for breakfast again every morning and gaining all his weight back. It annoyed me. That wasn't the final straw, but it played a role in my decision that we just weren't compatible.

But for most of my relationships I did most of the cooking and they were happy to eat it, so it wasn't a huge factor :) When they wanted to eat junk, they could have a Superbowl party with they guys or something.

65333605eb0e62ccdb9ffaac00727bc6

(150)

on September 18, 2012
at 11:28 PM

My boyfriend is bringing home pizza tonight...Yippee...Guess who's going to bed before he gets home...

2ea80af38692d25b0e5a8cb5042a0e6d

(50)

on February 22, 2012
at 07:59 AM

This happened to me. My ex became very unsupportive of me and started deliberately eating even more rubbish whilst moaning at me for being paleo. It was infuriating. But I blame it on the person, not the diet.

Cf4576cbcc44fc7f2294135609bce9e5

(3125)

on December 30, 2011
at 07:06 PM

i wil stay with my wife but im going stray and eat paleo.

3838b7c295973fe1423546e8773eadd8

(36)

on October 31, 2011
at 08:26 PM

Wait, who is Mark/Charlie though and what do you mean he's a troll? What are you, seven?

9d43f6873107e17ca4d1a5055aa7a2ad

on October 28, 2011
at 02:44 PM

Mark/Charlie is a chronic troll here we have deleted a zillion times.

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on October 28, 2011
at 01:47 PM

I guess he was lured by the untold scent of the ultimate paleo meal while driving near the Melissa's house which turned him into stalker for the rest of his life.

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on October 28, 2011
at 01:47 PM

I guess he was lured by the untold scent of the ultimate paleo meal while driving near the Melissa's house.

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on October 28, 2011
at 01:37 PM

Its the buss driver: http://goo.gl/hrnzy

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on October 28, 2011
at 01:35 PM

Quilt, you should at least keep a women there to sort your supplements :P

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on October 28, 2011
at 01:35 PM

Quilt, you should at least keep a women there to sort your supplement :P

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on October 28, 2011
at 01:30 PM

Oh Melissa, this sentence is so disappointing: *but then he started eating sugar flavored sugar sugar for breakfast again every morning and gaining all his weight back. It annoyed me*. Is there any excuse for such behavior of yours, imposing your priorities on others. Whats next - obsessive CTRL pressing ?

0bc6cbb653cdc5e82400f6da920f11eb

(19245)

on October 28, 2011
at 11:27 AM

Who is Mark/Charlie?

E85b330dc9619cf686fd17c9104c78a6

on October 28, 2011
at 10:47 AM

Could not argee more. I think it is very important a guy gets the fact that Paleo isn't being high-maintenance but a way to care for your body and mind.

47a42b6be94caf700fce9509e38bb6a4

(9647)

on October 28, 2011
at 07:02 AM

Drat, I should have thought of that.

9d43f6873107e17ca4d1a5055aa7a2ad

on October 28, 2011
at 03:46 AM

Also, this is Mark/Charlie again.

9d43f6873107e17ca4d1a5055aa7a2ad

on October 28, 2011
at 03:44 AM

I'm sorry, this relationship was many many years ago ;) So no rebounds needed.

47a42b6be94caf700fce9509e38bb6a4

(9647)

on October 28, 2011
at 01:01 AM

Aha, James, you may have misunderstood me. I meant that I was going to leave this post up so that Melissa could see it ... before deleting it. We generally try to avoid questions and topics that will only lead to endless debating.

3838b7c295973fe1423546e8773eadd8

(36)

on October 28, 2011
at 12:41 AM

seriously, the hottest and happiest chicks I see are ones that are optimal with themselves being single. Guys are happy single, I wish girls could be happy single so every little action with them they aren't expecting a relationship!

47a42b6be94caf700fce9509e38bb6a4

(9647)

on October 28, 2011
at 12:40 AM

I think it is my duty as a moderator to leave this up for Melissa to see.

Cc7381bd787721575ea9198048132adb

(5541)

on October 28, 2011
at 12:37 AM

A breakup is wonderful news to you? WTF is wrong with you?

0bc6cbb653cdc5e82400f6da920f11eb

(19245)

on October 28, 2011
at 12:31 AM

That is a bit long for a chat up line :)

B1fcaceba952861d0324bdb291edbbe0

(3159)

on October 28, 2011
at 12:15 AM

That's one of my favorite verses. :)

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on October 28, 2011
at 12:02 AM

Give her some time to adjust to going off BC. It took me a year to level out. For real.

B1859f696e88d25460a6b8a333412ea3

(837)

on October 27, 2011
at 11:52 PM

Do let us know if you find an alternative to Triscuts. The holidays are coming!

Ed71ab1c75c6a9bd217a599db0a3e117

(25472)

on October 27, 2011
at 11:28 PM

If it caused a breakup to me this is wonderful news. Who wants to live with CW for lifetime?

B9cc28905ec54389c47cde031d709703

on October 27, 2011
at 11:04 PM

I think I'd forgive my wife for eating one of those steamed buns: http://youtu.be/J3hDPF8W6Kk?t=2m

B9cc28905ec54389c47cde031d709703

on October 27, 2011
at 09:13 PM

Of course getting a divorce and telling your kid well Sammy I divorced your mom because she ate cereal in the morning is pretty silly. People always have the capacity to change, I think if your already married and you have kids, you should practice some patience. LOL, Right now I'm imagining an Inuit married to a Kitavan. Also it's important to keep in mind the journey that brought you to your current way of eating. Don't expect people to reach the same destination at the same time.

13a44ea00b0c9af0b6d0f3d5f5c2cfca

(7223)

on October 27, 2011
at 09:02 PM

And, to more directly answer your question. No, it hasn't harmed my relationship at all. My dh and I may not be on the exact same dietary page, but we are reading the same book--so to speak. We are in a agreement about the importance of buying real whole unprocessed foods and buying as many of those foods as possible from local farmers (which for us is all our meats and eggs, and most of our fruits and veggies). He is happy to eat whatever I cook for dinner and I am not bothered by the box of Triscuts in the pantry (although I am looking for an alternative without industrial seed oils).

B9cc28905ec54389c47cde031d709703

on October 27, 2011
at 09:01 PM

It would certainly make a Walton's family dinner a lot harder if everybody was eating something different.

Medium avatar

(8239)

on October 27, 2011
at 09:00 PM

Just as it is generally agreed that couples ought to be on the same page vis-a-vis religious choices/orientations, I would say the same holds for health/fitness issues in general, paleo in particular. Think of how much of our time is spent around food: buying, preparing, restaurants. Same with exercise-related stuff. Where sparks tend to fly is when one half of the team makes a life change toward self-betterment. He/she may tend to judge the other, who may feel judged regardless. These matters ultimately go to deep values.

3f3c952a1a31a12fc2ac49528888c073

(135)

on October 27, 2011
at 08:57 PM

Just Kidding...

3f3c952a1a31a12fc2ac49528888c073

(135)

on October 27, 2011
at 08:57 PM

MMMMmmmm sugar flavored sugar sugar is the BEST.

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13 Answers

19
13a44ea00b0c9af0b6d0f3d5f5c2cfca

(7223)

on October 27, 2011
at 08:57 PM

I don't believe eating a paleo diet itself could cause the end of a relationship. There is no reason why two people can't live harmoniously under the same roof while not eating the exact same diet. That said, I think that making a big lifestyle change can unearth other problems that have been under the radar in the past and once those issues are visible on a more conscious level that can lead to the end of relationships.

Most of the time when I hear people talk about relationship problems supposedly stemming from different diets what I actually see are problems caused by partners who are selfish, demanding, immature, unsupportive, etc.

13a44ea00b0c9af0b6d0f3d5f5c2cfca

(7223)

on October 27, 2011
at 09:02 PM

And, to more directly answer your question. No, it hasn't harmed my relationship at all. My dh and I may not be on the exact same dietary page, but we are reading the same book--so to speak. We are in a agreement about the importance of buying real whole unprocessed foods and buying as many of those foods as possible from local farmers (which for us is all our meats and eggs, and most of our fruits and veggies). He is happy to eat whatever I cook for dinner and I am not bothered by the box of Triscuts in the pantry (although I am looking for an alternative without industrial seed oils).

B1859f696e88d25460a6b8a333412ea3

(837)

on October 27, 2011
at 11:52 PM

Do let us know if you find an alternative to Triscuts. The holidays are coming!

11
B9cc28905ec54389c47cde031d709703

on October 27, 2011
at 09:40 PM

Nope. Why should it?

I shared the idea of ancestral eating with my wife when I first read about it. I implemented it first and then when my wife saw the changes she implemented it as well. Jenn, my wife's name; Jenn can eat whatever she wants and I can eat whatever I want. We both have that choice and I'm not going to hold her to my standards just as much as she doesn't hold me to her standards. Our marriage is and always will be based on our admiration and love for each other, the individuality of each other is something to be treasured and respected.

Cc7381bd787721575ea9198048132adb

(5541)

on October 28, 2011
at 12:37 AM

A breakup is wonderful news to you? WTF is wrong with you?

Ed71ab1c75c6a9bd217a599db0a3e117

(25472)

on October 27, 2011
at 11:28 PM

If it caused a breakup to me this is wonderful news. Who wants to live with CW for lifetime?

B9cc28905ec54389c47cde031d709703

on October 27, 2011
at 11:04 PM

I think I'd forgive my wife for eating one of those steamed buns: http://youtu.be/J3hDPF8W6Kk?t=2m

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on October 28, 2011
at 01:35 PM

Quilt, you should at least keep a women there to sort your supplement :P

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on October 28, 2011
at 01:35 PM

Quilt, you should at least keep a women there to sort your supplements :P

7
0a0c8c37d3a56738dc017e4ff09f21ee

(480)

on October 27, 2011
at 08:53 PM

My relationship with some of my family members and friends have somewhat been strained by my diet. Some individuals in my family follow either the paleo or a gluten free diet, and others will eat nothing but junk food. We love each other, though. As they gain weight, I lose. Yes it is both annoying and disheartening.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

B1fcaceba952861d0324bdb291edbbe0

(3159)

on October 28, 2011
at 12:15 AM

That's one of my favorite verses. :)

6
F92e4ca55291c3f3096a3d4d3d854986

(11698)

on October 28, 2011
at 12:57 AM

I am single and really would like to find a Paleo guy. I want to be with someone who GETS and respects why I eat the way I do, instead of thinking I am a crazy, annoying, high-maintenance pain in the ass. (While I may well be all those things, it's not because I eat saturated fat.)

I've been thinking someone should start an ancestrals-only dating website: meatmarket.com

E85b330dc9619cf686fd17c9104c78a6

on October 28, 2011
at 10:47 AM

Could not argee more. I think it is very important a guy gets the fact that Paleo isn't being high-maintenance but a way to care for your body and mind.

Cf4576cbcc44fc7f2294135609bce9e5

(3125)

on December 30, 2011
at 07:06 PM

i wil stay with my wife but im going stray and eat paleo.

6
6229cd9a7ca9882590259fae022e2647

(3209)

on October 27, 2011
at 09:23 PM

My fiance went Paleo with me. We still have problems.

On another note, I wonder how much of her change in direction came from going birth control free.

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on October 28, 2011
at 12:02 AM

Give her some time to adjust to going off BC. It took me a year to level out. For real.

6
Da3d4a6835c0f5256b2ef829b3ba3393

on October 27, 2011
at 09:13 PM

My wife saw how well I was doing on it and gave it a try herself. We're now a happy Paleo couple!

5
306aa57660d911781231f8090c2a5619

(3808)

on October 27, 2011
at 11:24 PM

Our relationship has improved. Many of our fights were largely fueled by "food moods", as that post so appropriately calls it. However, we went paleo at the same time.

I've seen other relationships destroyed because one person made positive changes (not necessarily paleo) and the other preferred to stay where they were, or worse, actively worked against any positive change in their partner or themselves.

2ea80af38692d25b0e5a8cb5042a0e6d

(50)

on February 22, 2012
at 07:59 AM

This happened to me. My ex became very unsupportive of me and started deliberately eating even more rubbish whilst moaning at me for being paleo. It was infuriating. But I blame it on the person, not the diet.

65333605eb0e62ccdb9ffaac00727bc6

(150)

on September 18, 2012
at 11:28 PM

My boyfriend is bringing home pizza tonight...Yippee...Guess who's going to bed before he gets home...

5
Ed983a42344945b1ff70fd9597a23493

on October 27, 2011
at 09:06 PM

The thorn~he cooks WAY less than he used to, because he still doesn't always know what to cook for me even though it's been years of me eating this way(and him not).

The rose~my hormones being much more balanced which has led to a more stable mood me, and a much higher sex drive me...

We've been through too much for me to leave him just because he eats chips and sugar, but if we hadn't been together long, or didn't have kids when I started eating this way, I can see how that may have been too stressful on our relationship...I should add that when we first got together nearly fourteen years ago, we were both strict vegans, we even had a vegan wedding(he is not a vegan anymore, btw, that would likely have been the straw that broke the camel's back).

3
Ce41c230e8c2a4295db31aec3ef4b2ab

(32564)

on October 27, 2011
at 08:53 PM

Nope. It's actually gotten better since we both went Primal.
Hormone balance & all... ;)

2
Bad3a78e228c67a7513c28f17c36b3cf

(1387)

on October 28, 2011
at 02:09 PM

I have been fortunate that my dear husband of 27 years has come along for the ride without complaint, even if he has neither the time nor inclination to learn the whys and wherefores. He is definitely sold on the health benefits!

2
38fca13acabddf7b9c54098507e4041a

on October 27, 2011
at 11:09 PM

It's a huge issue for sure not just in romantic relationships but really all relationships. Some people just can't handle nutritional truth because they don't have a broad enough perspective to tie it in to their whole life.... ie, what kind of person they are and should be. Cultus, the development of the human form, was big in Roman times and is still currently important but people can't seem to get that it's how you eat and your genetics that control that. America is becoming a nanny state where everyone expects that life owes them something, so why bother being the best you can be especially physically since we "shouldn't" discriminate based on things like looks, age race etc. Fat acceptance has made tremendous in roads and is brain washing people in to believing that it's "ok" to be fat. People are very self righteous and deluded about it all and just not very honest. Eating well so as to look good is very personal and some people just don't like people who are that self involved. They think it's trivial. Some people think there are bigger "more important" things to consider and maybe for those people that is true. But also consider that these people are also the kinds who scream bloody murder about socialized medicine and always think someone else should be there is they are sick etc. They sympathize with all kinds of illness like cancer etc or use excuses like "we really can't know, everything causes cancer" etc.

So yes Paleo does destroy some relationships and probably wrecks the ones that are just mostly a big waste of time. I continue to hang in with people who are anti Paleo but generally turn down the volume of much of what they say/do.

I read an article in NY Times about a year and a half ago about the social impact of weight loss/weight gain. Birds of a feather flock together, that type thing. Paleo is hard for the typical brainwashed idiot to understand. Conceivably there are whole networks of people who are "glued" together by the unwillingness to admit the truth. I'm a skinny loner generally I admit it. I've seen it from both sides personally-- wasnt' always as skinny as a teen-- and frankly this way is better.

1
Ca1150430b1904659742ce2cad621c7d

(12540)

on October 28, 2011
at 01:14 PM

I've been with my mate for 15 years. There are a lot of things we struggle with -- and sometimes, food is one of them. I do 90+% of the cooking -- so its always a challenge to make sure that I remember to feed HER the way she wants to be fed, not just the way that I want to be fed. I do try, because I love her, to prepare things that she'll like in ways that are healthier for both of us, and that's been a great boon. For the first 2 years of this, though, I was preparing two separate meals at every mealtime, because she ONLY wanted the stuff the way she was familiar with. Over the past several months, though, seeing all the changes in me, she's decided that she's going to give this a try -- and I keep reminding myself of how hard it was for ME in the beginning, and reminding myself to -guide- her, not -push- her.

We've faced both of us going through menopause at the same time, though, so I'm pretty sure we'll get through this ok. And if she bails, I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing, and I figure that we'll find a way... I'll let her lean on me if she needs to, give her space if she needs it, and support her decisions, just as she does mine -- because even though we have this history, we're two different people, and the most important part of a life is finding joy. (If we ever do separate, it won't be because of paleo -- it will be because I desperately want a FARM and she so hates the smell of cow manure and wants to be within walking distance of the theatre!)

0
3838b7c295973fe1423546e8773eadd8

on October 28, 2011
at 12:29 AM

Well, I've checked out Melisa the hunter-gathererer's website and do the get the jist you're kinda lame, not too exotic, and maybe a little strict, so that could be why your relationship ran away from you. Kidding! I'd actually date you because you're attractive (from your pic), you eat paleo and live by it, and you seem driven. So I'll come and be your rebound, but really you don't need a bf because you strong and independent.

47a42b6be94caf700fce9509e38bb6a4

(9647)

on October 28, 2011
at 07:02 AM

Drat, I should have thought of that.

9d43f6873107e17ca4d1a5055aa7a2ad

on October 28, 2011
at 03:44 AM

I'm sorry, this relationship was many many years ago ;) So no rebounds needed.

0bc6cbb653cdc5e82400f6da920f11eb

(19245)

on October 28, 2011
at 12:31 AM

That is a bit long for a chat up line :)

3838b7c295973fe1423546e8773eadd8

(36)

on October 28, 2011
at 12:41 AM

seriously, the hottest and happiest chicks I see are ones that are optimal with themselves being single. Guys are happy single, I wish girls could be happy single so every little action with them they aren't expecting a relationship!

47a42b6be94caf700fce9509e38bb6a4

(9647)

on October 28, 2011
at 12:40 AM

I think it is my duty as a moderator to leave this up for Melissa to see.

9d43f6873107e17ca4d1a5055aa7a2ad

on October 28, 2011
at 03:46 AM

Also, this is Mark/Charlie again.

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on October 28, 2011
at 01:37 PM

Its the buss driver: http://goo.gl/hrnzy

9d43f6873107e17ca4d1a5055aa7a2ad

on October 28, 2011
at 02:44 PM

Mark/Charlie is a chronic troll here we have deleted a zillion times.

47a42b6be94caf700fce9509e38bb6a4

(9647)

on October 28, 2011
at 01:01 AM

Aha, James, you may have misunderstood me. I meant that I was going to leave this post up so that Melissa could see it ... before deleting it. We generally try to avoid questions and topics that will only lead to endless debating.

0bc6cbb653cdc5e82400f6da920f11eb

(19245)

on October 28, 2011
at 11:27 AM

Who is Mark/Charlie?

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on October 28, 2011
at 01:47 PM

I guess he was lured by the untold scent of the ultimate paleo meal while driving near the Melissa's house which turned him into stalker for the rest of his life.

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on October 28, 2011
at 01:47 PM

I guess he was lured by the untold scent of the ultimate paleo meal while driving near the Melissa's house.

3838b7c295973fe1423546e8773eadd8

(36)

on October 31, 2011
at 08:26 PM

Wait, who is Mark/Charlie though and what do you mean he's a troll? What are you, seven?

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