6

votes

Synchronized Weight loss or gain

Answered on August 19, 2014
Created April 10, 2012 at 7:02 PM

How much do you think our significant others has on our ability to lose weight?

First some background: I was eating paleo for about 2 or 3 months before my wife decided to follow, she was basically sick of hearing me go off about grains and sugar???etc. For a while we both lost weight fairly rapidly which eventually slowed until it became a stall. We have not abandoned our way of eating, but I have started to experiment with varying my level of carbs and also doing IF. This has gone on for about a month, and while I am seeing some improvement, it seems really slow. I started off at about 280lbs and have stalled around 245-250: Roughly the same for my wife, but about 25lb less.

Besides all the hormonal things like insulin, leptin???etc, how much do you think psychologically we are bound to our partners to not get ahead of them. Do we subconsciously stall ourselves? Do you know what I mean? I may not be asking this right.

Edit: maybe I am asking if our hormones like insulin, leptn, cortisol...etc can sync, like I've heard that a group of females living together will sync their cycles.

Fb67dc30cead043d1d13ea503a3044dc

(3280)

on April 15, 2012
at 04:14 AM

Twinkletoes, your posts are always so beautifully written. You have a gift for lovely prose.

A3ff262a2686d79789e09a26013901b3

(1208)

on April 10, 2012
at 08:42 PM

Thanks for the input about groups of women. I also like the term sympathy fat you've coined, thanks also for the input on hacking my stall, but i wasn't looking for that. Believe me, I've looked at many hacks for stalls, i guess I just don't like the pace of my weight loss even though it is about a pound or less a week.

B4e1fa6a8cf43d2b69d97a99dfca262c

(10255)

on April 10, 2012
at 07:40 PM

very wise words

A3ff262a2686d79789e09a26013901b3

(1208)

on April 10, 2012
at 07:35 PM

Yes we have encouraging discussions often, unfortunately my wife had a thyroidectomy when she was 12, so she has a few different considerations like IFing that are harder for her.

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5 Answers

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4
0905a0f8cd1e48f6d39fe625a65b6ef1

(2890)

on April 10, 2012
at 07:28 PM

missionman, you've asked a compassionate question. You must love your wife very much to consider that your subconscious may be wanting to keep her feeling comfortable and supported. That's so sweet.

The mind is a wondrous thing, full of mystery and superhero ability. I know that I've subconsciously stalled a billion things since I was born. The past couple of years I've been wrestling with balancing the needs of my teenagers with my own needs, and I find myself making weird decisions or acting on impulse with no obvious point in mind, just to make their lives easier, even at an expense that may not make sense and may be detrimental to my own being.

See, that's just how relationships are, they ebb and flow in ways that add beauty to the planet, and in ways that offer the transition into night. And when we love someone with all of our heart, like you do your wife, we often find ourselves doing and saying and breathing and being in ways that help them, maybe ways that don't help us.

I would recommend taking a nice long walk with your wife, and building a dream together where you share your goals and frustrations, make the journey a little more shared on a deeper level. I bet then that the stalls you are both experiencing would cease.

Life is both short and long, too, so don't stress out about it. It's all part of the path. We don't have to look beautiful today... only because we already are beautiful.

xo to you!

B4e1fa6a8cf43d2b69d97a99dfca262c

(10255)

on April 10, 2012
at 07:40 PM

very wise words

Fb67dc30cead043d1d13ea503a3044dc

(3280)

on April 15, 2012
at 04:14 AM

Twinkletoes, your posts are always so beautifully written. You have a gift for lovely prose.

1
Ebb10603524dd22621c1155dd7ddf106

(19150)

on April 10, 2012
at 07:08 PM

I think this is a great question. I hope that someone with health/fitness and psychology backgrounds can lay some science on us.

For me, I don't see stalling at all -- rather my partner and applaud each other when we're doing very well, and help each other to keep each other's chin up when the going is slow. She is more in maintenance mode with a splash of weight loss, where I'm in body recomp mode -- so definitely losing more weight on my end.

Good luck in your paired journey! Changing one life is difficult enough - but doing it with a friend or loved one can be helpful, I think.

A3ff262a2686d79789e09a26013901b3

(1208)

on April 10, 2012
at 07:35 PM

Yes we have encouraging discussions often, unfortunately my wife had a thyroidectomy when she was 12, so she has a few different considerations like IFing that are harder for her.

0
673f7ad6052448d51496f177395416b7

on April 15, 2012
at 03:43 AM

very interesting question about hormone signalling/syncing. A friend of mine swears her ability to lose weight was inversely related to that of her roommate in college. when her roommate was gaining, she could lose, and vice versa. strange but possibly something to it more than just psychological.

0
5e36f73c3f95eb4ea13a009f4936449f

(8280)

on April 10, 2012
at 08:11 PM

I remember hearing the hormone thing with groups of women and their cycles. But then I saw some counter arguements that indicated that the original study was flawed in how it determined synchrony over time (it could have been an artifact of when they were doing the original study). As far as I know, there's no real unquestioned long term studies on it.

In re. "sympathy fat", I'd recommend tracking your food intake. It could be unconsciously storing fat, or it could be you're eating the same stuff that makes her happy, and it's got a lot more calories than you think...

A3ff262a2686d79789e09a26013901b3

(1208)

on April 10, 2012
at 08:42 PM

Thanks for the input about groups of women. I also like the term sympathy fat you've coined, thanks also for the input on hacking my stall, but i wasn't looking for that. Believe me, I've looked at many hacks for stalls, i guess I just don't like the pace of my weight loss even though it is about a pound or less a week.

0
B4e1fa6a8cf43d2b69d97a99dfca262c

(10255)

on April 10, 2012
at 07:25 PM

my gut response is "as much as you give them".
but perhaps there is a synch that happens due to your proximity and the pheromones exchanged. i am doubting this as i write it, but really; could be.

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