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Struggling to lose weight 2nd time around, what do I do?

Answered on August 19, 2014
Created June 22, 2012 at 4:40 PM

Last year around Christmas I went paleo and lost about 50 pounds and I was the leanest I've ever been in my life and loving it at 135--my lowest weight! Except for a glitch where I was hospitalized with sepsis in May of that year I felt pretty damn good! October of this year I found out I was pregnant and due to people telling me I could no longer eat paleo I panicked and went back to SAD. Unfortunately things were not to be and I miscarried, at the point I was holding at 165 (having gained 10 pounds before I even missed my period---I put on weight like its crazy). Following that month it was a crazy tailspin of moving, my mother (who's had longstanding cardiac issues) being hospitalized and attempting suicide in early March-ish. I've been on and off anti-depressants however am now going back to my instincts of healing with food and time.

At this point I've gotten back on the paleo wagon but it feels like it just won't come off anymore. I'm about a month in and holding 178 (down from 182 or so) no matter what I do.

I'm 4 '11, 21, female and have a physical disability, so my previous run at paleo consisted of me using only food changes untill I got down to about 160 or so---otherwise I just cant physically manage any sort of exercise.

I've tried IF, low-carb/high fat, medium carb/low fat, it just seems it does NOT want to come off. Trying to move around my joints ache, I've got almost permanent lactic acid in my muscles (OUCH!) and I sometimes feel dizzy and tired. My face/body are a mess of acne I havent seen in years and I swear I could sleep/cry about 16 hours a day left to my own devices and some days just housework is a stretch. I wake up most days with nausea or heartburn and YET---all my blood tests are normal.

On one hand in my life right now, if I want to go out with my friends and eat sushi or pizza till I puke it does my mind good. On the second, I am thoroughly disgusted and ashamed of my own body now and depressed that none of my clothes fit. I know what its like to feel thin and look good and feel good and such. I just, I feel frustrated, deprived and cut off when I'm drinking a glass of fruit smoothie for breakfast, a very lean salad with only romaine/cucumbers/mushrooms and some tuna with balsamic dressing for lunch and a piece of meat with broccoli for supper. I can't even predict what my own body wants anymore---some days a low-fat/med carb does wonders and meat makes me feel sluggish, other days I lose my mind with hunger for carbs, other days I pig out on protein and eat way more than I should and poof the weight drops. So then I think thats the key, keep at it and then dammit I gain weight.

I need some guidance, I dunno what to do anymore.

Dc6407193ba441d1438f6f0c06af872b

(4400)

on June 25, 2012
at 06:43 PM

Agreed. But you probably want to lose some weight. Remember you are only 21! You've got years to work this out. So, yes, focus on those other issues and on eating cleanly, but since you're motivated to lose some weight, decide you'll do it slowly and stress-free. You can experiment a little, e.g. remove nuts for a month, check the scale again, and see what it says. (No IF for you: that's for peole with low stress lives!!) You'll figure it all out eventually, and as long as you're eating well, you'll supply your body with what it needs to help with other issues too. Good enough for now.

3d026326a7512616b108c9a1b2086bef

(78)

on June 22, 2012
at 06:16 PM

*laughs* my god activity might be going up n down the stairs a few times a day to pee. I know I'm getting something like 1300 cals in a day, but to eat till I'm full and energetic its easily twice that. Of course, eating that much means I'm full steam ahead for about 1 hr then lights out n I'm done lol. Even now, I find I just get sleepy even from a bowl of greens.

D1908552223e8a97b17f02a90cf795bf

(487)

on June 22, 2012
at 05:47 PM

You need to give your body a break. I get the impression that you have been though so much stress. Don't worry about weight loss and work on being happy again. Eat paleo, but don't limit yourself. Just eat until you are full, eat the right things, and feed your body. Tell your friends this is for your HEALTH and that is why you aren't going to give into temptation.

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3 Answers

2
47542797ebfe9dd89c6f847106e26253

on June 22, 2012
at 05:19 PM

It seems that you put more emphasis on weight loss than on your overall health and well-being. With too much stress involved around food and weight...

I would suggest you do a Whole30. 30 days of clean eating without measuring and without stepping on a scale.

1
F9638b939a6f85d67f60065677193cad

(4266)

on June 22, 2012
at 06:46 PM

You have:

  • Major depression (with a suicide attempt, no less)
  • grief (loss of baby, almost loss of mother)
  • a physical disability
  • aching joints
  • chronic muscle soreness
  • dizziness and fatigue
  • acne
  • nausea and heartburn
  • and some serious self-hatred

Wow, you need time to just heal. I'm guessing your hormones are totally messed up, your neurotransmitters are hosed. Forget about weight loss. Eat densely nutritious food and work on getting your body to work right. I'd suggest you probably need way more Omega-3 saturated animal fats so that your body can even make hormones and neurotransmitters and recover from all the chronic inflammation you probably have. A counselor or someone you can confide in would probably help greatly, too.

Dc6407193ba441d1438f6f0c06af872b

(4400)

on June 25, 2012
at 06:43 PM

Agreed. But you probably want to lose some weight. Remember you are only 21! You've got years to work this out. So, yes, focus on those other issues and on eating cleanly, but since you're motivated to lose some weight, decide you'll do it slowly and stress-free. You can experiment a little, e.g. remove nuts for a month, check the scale again, and see what it says. (No IF for you: that's for peole with low stress lives!!) You'll figure it all out eventually, and as long as you're eating well, you'll supply your body with what it needs to help with other issues too. Good enough for now.

1
65bf1ca7071028018c6d8305d0ddcd76

(3049)

on June 22, 2012
at 05:23 PM

It sounds like you have an awful lot going on... I commend you for taking responsibility for your health- now, cut yourself some slack. Don't try to go low carb/ low fat/ high car/ high fat... none of that matters right now. Focus on eating whole foods and learning to listen to your body & eating when you are hungry. Don't eat in a way that you feel deprived: you can feast on anything whole you make yourself.

Later, you can play with your ratios and find your sweet spot. record what you eat and how you're feeling. Record when you have particularly bad or good days, feel low or high energy, how your eyes and skin look, and how your joints feel.

While some people will tell you it's not all about calories in/ calories out, you do need to create a deficit to lose weight, either by eating less, moving more, or a combination of the two.

This is how I would start:

-tracking what you eat for a week with portions and calories. Track your activity. This will create a benchmark. - use this information, plan your meals/ activity for the next week so that you are moving more and eating less, aim for a combined total of 3500 less calories eaten / burned from exercise from the previous week.

Continue to track what you're doing. Choose more of the foods that make you feel great, and drop things from your menu that make you feel bloated, sluggish.

You will feel better. You will lose weight. It will be slow and steady, but this is a lifestyle change where you are teaching yourself to eat whole foods when you're hungry.

Don't cheat. If you do have something you were restricting, get back on the bandwagon with your next mouthful - don't let a slip up become permission for an all-out binge. Ask your friends to support you. maybe insteadof going out for pizza, you can have "make your own salad" night, where everyone brings 4 different fixings and you mix and match. A salad doesn't have to be boring- you can add olives, pickles, nuts (within reason) fruit, veggies, proteins of all kinds. Add fresh herbs - dill, cilantro, basil are all amazing.

Most of all, understand we're all works in progress. You are not disgusting at your heaviest weight. You might feel disgusting, and that's okay, because you're working on feeling better. don't live in regret and pain, remind yourself you've done this before and can do it again. Setbacks may happen, but you don't have to let them overwhelm you. Seek support from loved ones, forums, doctors, whatever you need to move forward.

good luck!

3d026326a7512616b108c9a1b2086bef

(78)

on June 22, 2012
at 06:16 PM

*laughs* my god activity might be going up n down the stairs a few times a day to pee. I know I'm getting something like 1300 cals in a day, but to eat till I'm full and energetic its easily twice that. Of course, eating that much means I'm full steam ahead for about 1 hr then lights out n I'm done lol. Even now, I find I just get sleepy even from a bowl of greens.

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