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Paleo newbie, veteran dieter with problem spouse

Commented on October 08, 2013
Created October 07, 2013 at 8:58 PM

Hello,

I am a 51 year old male who grew up huge, both tall and overweight. I've had periods where I lose weight but gain it back.First time was basic training at 18, but that weight came back. Then there was my attraction to the Testosteron Plan (diet/strength training) and I lost weight but when a job change interefered with my attending the gym I gained the weight back.

Then came cycling, going 20+ miles nearly every day I wasn't working and using My Fitness Pal to track my calories. I lost again. Then family problems and I wasn't cycling or dieting and it all came back.

Sound familiar? Good. I knew I had found fellow veterans of the weight loss wars.

Recently (Aug 1) I once more began working out and tracking my calories. Some progress, slow and steady, blah, blah...

Then I began reading Gary Taubes' "Good Calories, Bad Calories". The science presented which contradicted the prevailing voices of the diet world opened my eyes. I began to look more and more into Paleo.

I think I first found PaleoHacks when doing a search on the internet for some question. I was familiar with forums from other disciplines and was glad to encounter one here.

I did what I could to be "pseudo Paleo" on a recent vacation trip with my wife but only succeeded in not gaining any weight. Since returning from the trip my weight loss has accelerated without the hunger that I had before trying Paleo. Willpower? Who needs willpower when you aren't hungry? Temptation? What candy bar looks as good as seeing two more pounds gone in just a couple of days?

I can not eat totaly "clean" yet due to my wife's cooking. She tries, but doesn't understand that she needs to read labels. Buying me coconut is great. Buying me coconut sweetened with sugar... she meant well.

Her own weight loss monster was slain with the aid of a bariatric surgeon and having most of her stomach removed. She lost the equivalent of an entire second person and she is happy to have done it despite having to learn when to stop eating based upon subtle signals before she makes herself sick and has to spend time at the porcelain alter. I don't have the cash for such an operation and after having lost 80+ lbs several times now I don't think the surgery would be my answer. Mine must be a lifestyle choice that I impose, not a surgeon's knife.

Anyway, my question, as such, is how do you handle a spouse who means well but doesn't read any of the literature and isn't sure of the diet and shrieks at the amount of saturated fats I injest? Hopefully in time she will learn, plus on nights that she works and I don't I do the food prep, turning out Paleo meals as clean and tasty as I can manage. Tonight will be grilled steaks, grilled butternut squash and spinach with bacon bits.

Thank you.

6120c989fd5b69f42a0834b69b87955b

(24553)

on October 08, 2013
at 03:30 AM

Ah, got it. I think a crock pot would be your friend. Set a roast, or pork shoulder going, and you've got eats for days.

6120c989fd5b69f42a0834b69b87955b

(24553)

on October 08, 2013
at 03:29 AM

Jeezeecreezee, lighten up. The vast majority of paleo peeps are the only family member embarking on such a thing. It would feel really wrong if I called my husband a problem spouse for not cooking to my specs. The person who cooks gets to choose the menu, if I need something else, it is my responsibility to make it for myself.

7904c7276d7e48f1be887fabd263bfd9

(300)

on October 07, 2013
at 11:36 PM

wow, project much.

782d92f4127823bdfb2ddfcbcf961d0e

(5231)

on October 07, 2013
at 09:11 PM

I'm sure that others will chime in with better advice than mine, but is it possible to go grocery shopping with your wife? Once you get a sense of what your basic food supplies are it will be easier for your wife, if she is the primary shopper.

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4 Answers

0
Medium avatar

on October 07, 2013
at 11:51 PM

Maybe I didn't make things clear. I do cook when possible. On the days that I work I am on a 12 hour shift, arriving home after 7 PM. My wife also works, but usually arrives home earlier than I do.

We did have a good compromise this weekend when she was going to make spaghetti for people we were having over. She prepared spaghetti squash for my portion and regular pasta for the guests.

It's a learning curve for her and for myself as well. No more copping out and calling in pizza!

6120c989fd5b69f42a0834b69b87955b

(24553)

on October 08, 2013
at 03:30 AM

Ah, got it. I think a crock pot would be your friend. Set a roast, or pork shoulder going, and you've got eats for days.

0
6120c989fd5b69f42a0834b69b87955b

(24553)

on October 07, 2013
at 11:16 PM

This isn't her deal, she already has a system that she likes and works for her, why aren't you doing the shopping and cooking? You know what you need for success and you know what her preferences are as well. Win, win. Nothin' special about owning a uterus (or not) when it comes to the retrieval of foodstuffs and cooking.

6120c989fd5b69f42a0834b69b87955b

(24553)

on October 08, 2013
at 03:29 AM

Jeezeecreezee, lighten up. The vast majority of paleo peeps are the only family member embarking on such a thing. It would feel really wrong if I called my husband a problem spouse for not cooking to my specs. The person who cooks gets to choose the menu, if I need something else, it is my responsibility to make it for myself.

7904c7276d7e48f1be887fabd263bfd9

(300)

on October 07, 2013
at 11:36 PM

wow, project much.

0
7904c7276d7e48f1be887fabd263bfd9

(300)

on October 07, 2013
at 09:45 PM

i would just try to go with whole foods, cant really go wrong if all the food your eating is real. from there cook it yourself with select peripherals(again pure forms) if u cant understand the label dont buy it.

that being said i wouldnt sweat the small stuff, especially when your not the one cooking.

0
Medium avatar

(238)

on October 07, 2013
at 09:42 PM

Tell her it is time for a change in roles. Give her a shopping and cooking break and you try it for a bit. It isn't rocket science to prep a Paleo meal, even a caveman could do it.

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