2

votes

Paleo for lazy bums?

Answered on August 19, 2014
Created July 11, 2011 at 11:25 PM

Anyone have suggestions for a really low maintenance paleo diet? I'm on a monodiet now that requires cooking meat, and I don't want to cook any more. Here are some ideas that DON'T work for me:

canned sardines (brands without plastic lining are hella expensive)

suck it up and deal with cooking (no way Jose!)

canned meat (plastic lining)

dried meat with lots of sodium / sodium nitrite (would be interested in low sodium sausages or jerky though)

I guess I'm wondering if anyone knows of a place that sells pre-cooked meats (not meals, too expensive I think) with minimal additives, and cooked without oils or with "Paleo acceptable" oils (including coconut or olive oils if need be).

351cbf133b44fb7a1b90781e148d28d7

(597)

on July 12, 2011
at 11:30 PM

I suppose there's different ways to approach it: cooking never feels like work to me, so I don't look at it as energy being expended.

Da8e709acde269e8b8bfbc09d1737841

(1906)

on July 12, 2011
at 08:06 PM

It's not an edict, it's fact: a paleo diet is inherently less convenient and "quick" than the SAD. Replicating the speed of acquiring SAD fare simply isn't possible on a paleo diet if you're already complaining about a can of sardines being too expensive. I can grill a steak and steam some veggies in 15 minutes. That's pretty quick for a meal, but if that's too time-consuming for your rock-star lifestyle, you may be out of luck. "You can't eat your cake and have it too", as it were.

3eda6fcd3204ef285fa52176c28c4d3e

on July 12, 2011
at 06:13 PM

If you really wanna see it from my perspective, it's all about flow for me, and saving energy. I spend a lot of time working, and the rest of the time recovering energy in nature. Cooking doesn't contribute anything productive in this sense, if I can obtain the good food without cooking it. Part of all this is saving energy so that I can work harder and smarter at making more money in order to attain more freedom in the future.

3eda6fcd3204ef285fa52176c28c4d3e

on July 12, 2011
at 06:06 PM

What diet? I make my own diet as I feel it suits me. Following edicts is for the religious.

76c885d7d27e6c83542ea493ca866dcd

(2178)

on July 12, 2011
at 12:41 PM

ohhh paleo jello?? how's that work?

2f931662684a7747be36255c8b486228

(1049)

on July 12, 2011
at 09:10 AM

Hire? What about all we private live-in chefs who don't get paid as it is? Ever heard of a wife. Pick up a spatula and keep the money in the household!

2f931662684a7747be36255c8b486228

(1049)

on July 12, 2011
at 09:09 AM

Raw meat is fantastic...carpaccio anyone? Steak tartar. Especially in the summer.

6120c989fd5b69f42a0834b69b87955b

(24553)

on July 12, 2011
at 07:07 AM

I totally forgot pemmican, supposedly you can live on just it and water for months at a time. Good luck with your lamb juice! Do sheep carry any parasites that might make it preferable for cooking? What about a Masai style blood and milk diet. If you're zoning laws allow for cattle you could have nutrition at the ready in your backyard.

B3e7d1ab5aeb329fe24cca1de1a0b09c

(5242)

on July 12, 2011
at 04:43 AM

Great, but come on, your asking something for nothing here.

3eda6fcd3204ef285fa52176c28c4d3e

on July 12, 2011
at 04:31 AM

I'm all the way up in the Northeast, but my brother is down near San Jose. I do envy your sunshine! Sometimes I think I'm really a Cali dude at heart :).

3eda6fcd3204ef285fa52176c28c4d3e

on July 12, 2011
at 04:00 AM

Good stuff, I'll have to check out the lunch meat. I already chow on liver, so your smoothy idea might just work. And what if I, "gasp", juice some raw lamb chops in an industrial strength blender? Heh-heh. Now we're getting somewhere. I'll have to look into the blender though.

3eda6fcd3204ef285fa52176c28c4d3e

on July 12, 2011
at 03:50 AM

My issue? I am quite happy the way I am. And it is obvious that you are as well :).

559aa134ff5e6c8bcd608ba8dc505628

(3631)

on July 12, 2011
at 03:26 AM

welp, looks like it's gonna be 30 Bananas a Day!

1fc9c11cf23b2f62ac78979de933ad83

(2435)

on July 12, 2011
at 02:09 AM

Plus 1 for rotisserie chicken.

3eda6fcd3204ef285fa52176c28c4d3e

on July 12, 2011
at 01:40 AM

This is intriguing. Do they sell unsalted smoked kippers outside of cans?

3eda6fcd3204ef285fa52176c28c4d3e

on July 12, 2011
at 01:38 AM

Sure, that might work for someone. I only happen to go shopping around once in 10 days though.

3eda6fcd3204ef285fa52176c28c4d3e

on July 12, 2011
at 01:36 AM

I have tried the bulk cooking thing before, and though it's practical, tripling the cooking time made me hate it 2^3 times more. Exponential cooking laziness.

3eda6fcd3204ef285fa52176c28c4d3e

on July 12, 2011
at 01:35 AM

Good thoughts, and I will probably do something like that if I move and can afford it.

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on July 12, 2011
at 01:34 AM

You do not eat raw meat, do you???

3eda6fcd3204ef285fa52176c28c4d3e

on July 12, 2011
at 01:34 AM

Good thoughts, though I avoid coconut milk from cans. Instead I buy coconut chips and just eat those. Like I said, I avoid food prep like the plague!

3eda6fcd3204ef285fa52176c28c4d3e

on July 12, 2011
at 01:29 AM

No cooking! Truth is, I did try them and didn't like the texture of the meat. I guess I'm a pan-fried meat fan.

A45af235ed4dd0b4f548c59e91b75763

(1936)

on July 12, 2011
at 12:38 AM

Move back in with the parents?

8be7a492e2844e2ad5595a6c73974f99

(891)

on July 12, 2011
at 12:08 AM

this way of eating is not for the lazy...you gotta give a little...the crockpot seems like the least effort and best tasting food for ya.

Medium avatar

(10611)

on July 12, 2011
at 12:06 AM

You know you get no beer.

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on July 11, 2011
at 11:46 PM

I dunno - I don't think raw meat and fish is that intolerable.

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on July 11, 2011
at 11:45 PM

totally - easiest thing ever!

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14 Answers

best answer

1
6120c989fd5b69f42a0834b69b87955b

(24553)

on July 12, 2011
at 01:57 AM

Barter with someone. Is there something useful you wouldn't mind doing in exchange for cooking? Do you have a spare room, you could always offer accommodations in exchange for cooking?

No cooking foods I eat: Nitrate free lunch meat, veggie sticks, olives, coconut, coconut oil, salad, nori, jerky, smoked salmon, precooked shrimp, fruit, sashimi.

And I haven't tried this one yet, but I'm trying to get up the nerve: liver smoothie (if you freeze it for 14 days it is supposed to kill the bad bugs), mix it with ice and whatever you want fruit wise, maybe some coconut milk.

3eda6fcd3204ef285fa52176c28c4d3e

on July 12, 2011
at 04:00 AM

Good stuff, I'll have to check out the lunch meat. I already chow on liver, so your smoothy idea might just work. And what if I, "gasp", juice some raw lamb chops in an industrial strength blender? Heh-heh. Now we're getting somewhere. I'll have to look into the blender though.

6120c989fd5b69f42a0834b69b87955b

(24553)

on July 12, 2011
at 07:07 AM

I totally forgot pemmican, supposedly you can live on just it and water for months at a time. Good luck with your lamb juice! Do sheep carry any parasites that might make it preferable for cooking? What about a Masai style blood and milk diet. If you're zoning laws allow for cattle you could have nutrition at the ready in your backyard.

10
66e6b190e62fb3bcf42d4c60801c7bf6

on July 11, 2011
at 11:44 PM

one word: crockpot

3eda6fcd3204ef285fa52176c28c4d3e

on July 12, 2011
at 01:29 AM

No cooking! Truth is, I did try them and didn't like the texture of the meat. I guess I'm a pan-fried meat fan.

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on July 11, 2011
at 11:45 PM

totally - easiest thing ever!

4
B3e7d1ab5aeb329fe24cca1de1a0b09c

(5242)

on July 12, 2011
at 03:11 AM

Screw it! Go to Macca's. It's cheap and you don't have to do a damn thing.

paleo-for-lazy-bums?

Or accept that you need to change your food culture, and that is going to include some cooking and some food prep time. Some being the key word, it doesn't need to be a lot. Show a little respect for the beasts you eat.

Your issue isn't that you can't, it's that you won't.

3eda6fcd3204ef285fa52176c28c4d3e

on July 12, 2011
at 03:50 AM

My issue? I am quite happy the way I am. And it is obvious that you are as well :).

B3e7d1ab5aeb329fe24cca1de1a0b09c

(5242)

on July 12, 2011
at 04:43 AM

Great, but come on, your asking something for nothing here.

2
724f0f45eb53919b8c617c3c1ec5fbc5

(830)

on July 12, 2011
at 03:23 AM

US Wellness sells pemmican and beef jerky suitable for paleo diets.

It's not cheap, but then, time is money! If you don't want to spend your time cooking, you're going to have to spend your money paying somebody else to do it for you.

2
Medium avatar

(10611)

on July 12, 2011
at 12:10 AM

Kippers and other smoked fish.

Rotisserie chickens.

1fc9c11cf23b2f62ac78979de933ad83

(2435)

on July 12, 2011
at 02:09 AM

Plus 1 for rotisserie chicken.

3eda6fcd3204ef285fa52176c28c4d3e

on July 12, 2011
at 01:40 AM

This is intriguing. Do they sell unsalted smoked kippers outside of cans?

2
D3ff004d4a0c42b67cc2c49a5ee9c0f3

(5801)

on July 11, 2011
at 11:42 PM

Looks like it is only raw fruits and veggies for you or learn how to eat raw meat.

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on July 12, 2011
at 01:34 AM

You do not eat raw meat, do you???

2f931662684a7747be36255c8b486228

(1049)

on July 12, 2011
at 09:09 AM

Raw meat is fantastic...carpaccio anyone? Steak tartar. Especially in the summer.

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on July 11, 2011
at 11:46 PM

I dunno - I don't think raw meat and fish is that intolerable.

1
507a43b2a190776060b8b142b464e808

on July 12, 2011
at 12:26 AM

Move to another country. In China while my broke ass friend did his Ph.d in ancient Chinese, he rented a hole-in-the-wall for $50/month and paid $50/month for a maid that would cook him meals daily. (Instead of getting a nice place for $100 he prefered to waste no time dilly-dallying about food and cleaning). Just a bit of training for her to cook only meat and not use anything but coconut oil and lard and you'll be set.

BTW these prices are ~2003 era, so... not realistic now, but... move to an area with cheap illegal migrant worker labor and get a cook there? It sounds odd, but if your LIFE DEPENDS UPON IT, why not?

3eda6fcd3204ef285fa52176c28c4d3e

on July 12, 2011
at 01:35 AM

Good thoughts, and I will probably do something like that if I move and can afford it.

1
8be7a492e2844e2ad5595a6c73974f99

(891)

on July 12, 2011
at 12:05 AM

hire private chef to cook meals for the week.

2f931662684a7747be36255c8b486228

(1049)

on July 12, 2011
at 09:10 AM

Hire? What about all we private live-in chefs who don't get paid as it is? Ever heard of a wife. Pick up a spatula and keep the money in the household!

1
345c1755efe005edd162b770dc6fb821

(8767)

on July 12, 2011
at 12:03 AM

cured meats like Jamon Serrano (spanish) or Proscutto (italian)....but expensive!! get the whole leg and slice it yourself. Not so common in the USA but very common in Europe!

why not just take a day to cook a whole turkey or ham and portion it seal it and freeze. meals for a month!

Salome (sorry sp?), pepperoni. I'm sure full of ungoodness unless organic but ready to eat

3eda6fcd3204ef285fa52176c28c4d3e

on July 12, 2011
at 01:36 AM

I have tried the bulk cooking thing before, and though it's practical, tripling the cooking time made me hate it 2^3 times more. Exponential cooking laziness.

1
0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on July 11, 2011
at 11:44 PM

Why meat? Why not get your hands on some really good eggs, crack a few into some coconut milk and berries and wizz it into a smoothie? I know, drinking your food isn't paleo, make it thick like pudding then.

Or get your hands on some good gelatin powder, mix it with some berries and coconut milk too, make a whole pan of paleo jello.

76c885d7d27e6c83542ea493ca866dcd

(2178)

on July 12, 2011
at 12:41 PM

ohhh paleo jello?? how's that work?

3eda6fcd3204ef285fa52176c28c4d3e

on July 12, 2011
at 01:34 AM

Good thoughts, though I avoid coconut milk from cans. Instead I buy coconut chips and just eat those. Like I said, I avoid food prep like the plague!

0
Da8e709acde269e8b8bfbc09d1737841

(1906)

on July 12, 2011
at 04:59 PM

No offense, but part of the reason we got into this processed food mess is because people were similarly lazy. You can find shortcuts and plenty of paleo snacks that will get you by for a short time, but ultimately you'll have to cook, prepare, or spend more money on paleo-friendly meals. This diet is not about immediate gratification like SAD is.

3eda6fcd3204ef285fa52176c28c4d3e

on July 12, 2011
at 06:06 PM

What diet? I make my own diet as I feel it suits me. Following edicts is for the religious.

Da8e709acde269e8b8bfbc09d1737841

(1906)

on July 12, 2011
at 08:06 PM

It's not an edict, it's fact: a paleo diet is inherently less convenient and "quick" than the SAD. Replicating the speed of acquiring SAD fare simply isn't possible on a paleo diet if you're already complaining about a can of sardines being too expensive. I can grill a steak and steam some veggies in 15 minutes. That's pretty quick for a meal, but if that's too time-consuming for your rock-star lifestyle, you may be out of luck. "You can't eat your cake and have it too", as it were.

0
351cbf133b44fb7a1b90781e148d28d7

on July 12, 2011
at 12:20 PM

How much variety do you need, and how much money are you willing to cough up?

I don't know what sort of oils Chipotle uses for cooking, but a burrito bowl minus the rice is a fully contained meal in itself, maybe even two meals if you get double meat.

Otherwise? I'm clueless. The idea of not enjoying cooking is extremely foreign to me, and I'm having a hard time seeing "healthy" and "lazy" in the same sentence. You have to give to get; ain't no such thing as free. A previous commenter said it quite nicely: time is money. I'm not sure how well this will work for you, if you consider a can of sardines expensive. All the same, good luck with such a unique approach.

3eda6fcd3204ef285fa52176c28c4d3e

on July 12, 2011
at 06:13 PM

If you really wanna see it from my perspective, it's all about flow for me, and saving energy. I spend a lot of time working, and the rest of the time recovering energy in nature. Cooking doesn't contribute anything productive in this sense, if I can obtain the good food without cooking it. Part of all this is saving energy so that I can work harder and smarter at making more money in order to attain more freedom in the future.

351cbf133b44fb7a1b90781e148d28d7

(597)

on July 12, 2011
at 11:30 PM

I suppose there's different ways to approach it: cooking never feels like work to me, so I don't look at it as energy being expended.

0
1fc9c11cf23b2f62ac78979de933ad83

(2435)

on July 12, 2011
at 02:16 AM

Sounds to me like you need to become less lazy. And this is coming from ME. I'm pretty mother effin lazy. And, I DESPISE washing dishes.

For now, do you have a neighbor that seems to be constantly barbecuing? See if you can pay him $2 to cook your steak for you every night.

Costco sells Foster Farms chicken breast strips that are already grilled in a big bag. You can nuke them in a bowl with a splash of water, butter, and covered in either another plate or some plastic wrap. I think regular stores sell them, too, but they're more expensive.

Where do you live? I could cook and deliver food to you. I could use the money.

Or, you could just fast until you decide you're so hungry it's worth getting off your butt and cooking, then cleaning up.

Oooh, another option is baby formula. Pour in a bottle, shake, and drink. Doesn't get much faster than that, and it's allegedly nutritionally complete.

3eda6fcd3204ef285fa52176c28c4d3e

on July 12, 2011
at 04:31 AM

I'm all the way up in the Northeast, but my brother is down near San Jose. I do envy your sunshine! Sometimes I think I'm really a Cali dude at heart :).

0
16e617676c5ac710e5235e0b773edc0b

on July 12, 2011
at 12:44 AM

Google is your friend. There's definitely some enterprising companies out there who do delivery of pre-made Paleo meals that I'm sure you could find and order if you really wanted to be super lazy. Otherwise, you can get fairly decent rotisserie chickens at Whole Foods (they're even on sale on Sundays for like $6) and other prepared foods like salmon, etc. ready to eat.

3eda6fcd3204ef285fa52176c28c4d3e

on July 12, 2011
at 01:38 AM

Sure, that might work for someone. I only happen to go shopping around once in 10 days though.

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