3

votes

Paleo and Family issues

Answered on August 19, 2014
Created September 11, 2012 at 3:21 PM

Hi since going from near vegan and ruining my health and going cold turkey on Paleo has,scared my parents quite abit first with my collapse health wise and fighting ED for 1 year I recovered and discovered Paleo which HAS helped me recover from my foolish choices. I still live with my parents they're not Paleo but rather nearly vegetarian they only eat meat mostly because that is one of the only things I eat that they eat other than veggies. They enjoy their pasta and bread plus chocolate and desserts. I touch none of that to my father I seem like a fool refusing to eat mostly anything that they have in the house cause it is all junk I eat eggs and meat for breakfast, salad or meat for lunch (lots of fat included) I don't eat enormous quantities as most of my calories come from fat compared to pasta and veggie dishes with little to no protein or fat. In their eyes I eat too little based on quantities. But I have even measured the calorie impact and I eat more than they do. The only thing they outclass me on are carbs and sugar. The difference in diet (way of eating not diet) is really tearing us apart due to no understanding. My health has increased by bounds but they fail to see that. How do I approach this situation, all attempt have ended in years and a bigger rift. I won't change my Paleo eating, nither do I expect them to change how they eat.

What do I do? They say I am not normal etc etc I am killing myself etc etc from "limiting" myself to only some foods I eat too much fat too much meat I need more veggies, fruit carbs, rice bread etc.

Ce2968ab71119c736ba9d83841c5718a

on September 12, 2012
at 07:29 PM

how close are you to living on your own? a lot of this kind of friction magically goes away when then happens.

7278560e76901ded4081022b54c6e165

on September 12, 2012
at 04:04 AM

I see what you mean, I just need advice how to bring understanding and respect into the family about lifestyle choices. I am not going after them about theirs. They enjoy the way they eat and I leave it at that. But would like the same degree of freedom to enjoy my choices as well, as long as it does not damage my health.

7278560e76901ded4081022b54c6e165

on September 12, 2012
at 04:02 AM

They buy those stuff from the bakery, it's fresh, and not mass produced. So it sounds healthy.

7278560e76901ded4081022b54c6e165

on September 12, 2012
at 04:01 AM

Nope, all of them have issues with "Paleo" There's nothing wrong with bread they keep saying. They ate bread long ago and were fine. But of course The wheat of that time is nothing like modern wheat. If Paleo man ate any bread it would've been from the Emmer and Ekhorn vararites of wheat which almost don't exist in these days

7278560e76901ded4081022b54c6e165

on September 12, 2012
at 03:58 AM

That also is another issue. How do I show it's not a fad? As this way of living truly works for me. Not like my former way of eating.

7278560e76901ded4081022b54c6e165

on September 12, 2012
at 03:57 AM

Wondering why I was not improving I did some research and found Paleo, at first I thought: this is stupid, it's unhealthy, but the more I read. I decided to give it a test and see if it would do me any favours. I tested it by going cold turkey and bam I got near instant results within a week. I saw the results, but mostly they were internal, such as more energy, etc, external results came a little more slowly. I've tried to share, but they keep looking at the food, not the results. The fact that I refuse to eat "normal food" is the biggest issue.

7278560e76901ded4081022b54c6e165

on September 12, 2012
at 03:53 AM

After many months of this I decided/and realized I still had a life ahead of me, I didn't want to die like I thought I did. I knew and realized that my depression was preventing me from living life. By the time I got out it was too late and I had harmed myself pretty badly. Panicking I jumped onto the vegan/vegetarian bandwagon and fed myself loads of hummus and veggies to "recover" thinking the beans would give all the protein I needed. I of course was wrong but did not know at that time. After a while, nothing improved, my health was still in the pits and fluctuating back and forth.

7278560e76901ded4081022b54c6e165

on September 12, 2012
at 03:49 AM

I went cold turkey low fat stuff 2 years ago, eating mostly fruits and vegetables, but always ate mom's baked goods such as cookies and muffins and all that, but pushed for sugar reduction and everything had to be organic. I ate no fats, even the granola I ate was free of all oils. All this so I could eat more and not worry about overeating. I was ok at that time, my body could handle the grains and stuff. Then came along a really stressful part of my life, where combined with my beliefs on eating I became depressed and starved myself.

782d92f4127823bdfb2ddfcbcf961d0e

(5231)

on September 11, 2012
at 04:54 PM

They know that halvah, pastries, cookies, etc. aren't healthy don't they? At 18 years old you are still growing, probably. Unless you are wasting away, I would think that they should be able to see, with some time, that you are doing just fine (if that is actually the case).

7278560e76901ded4081022b54c6e165

on September 11, 2012
at 04:45 PM

They don't believe in calories only quantities. And I have tried using veggies to blow my meal sizes up but have a hard time with digesting the amount, but prefer medium meals with the fat content high so it takes less space but keeps the calories up. Plus I eat one serving plates of appropriate calories a meal, I never snack as I never am hungry except sometimes I get reminded it is meal time. My family are die hard snackers on baked goods such as halvah pastries cookies and chocolates. I just eat heavy square meals 3 times a day. This bugs them as well.

98266ae0c87836d4bb714b6d31cacbf9

(1632)

on September 11, 2012
at 04:42 PM

Have you talked to them about this? I'm sure there must be someone in your family who understands? Use their help to explain to your family.

7278560e76901ded4081022b54c6e165

on September 11, 2012
at 04:40 PM

Yeah so how does one go by sharing a meal in peace while one will not eat what all others want and enjoy such as pasta with frozen veggies or rice stirfry with soya sauce, if meat stripped and drained of all fat. If I request only the good parts I either don't have enough, they don't have enough of it as I took a big portion of it to replace the junk or it's just not possible to separate the ingredients. Often I end up making my own supper when they have a pasta dish usually just with veggies and pasta. But with my family it makes a big drink as they feel I divide up the family by my choices.

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7 Answers

4
59fa7cd87fb9d669adf21e5cf3e7ada5

on September 11, 2012
at 04:36 PM

I think your parents might be worried about you jumping from one diet to another, it appears from your post that this has already caused you some health problems.

So it's probably not the specific diet you've adopted that troubles your parents, it's going from one fad to another.

7278560e76901ded4081022b54c6e165

on September 12, 2012
at 03:58 AM

That also is another issue. How do I show it's not a fad? As this way of living truly works for me. Not like my former way of eating.

2
E6c14efded576a0bea38a2fe2beced6a

on September 11, 2012
at 04:31 PM

What do you do about what?

Are your parents threatening to throw you out of the house if you don't eat like them? Will they strap you to a chair and force feed your? Will they disown you as a child, along with a fake funeral, because you don't eat pasta or cake?

They are voicing their opinion on how you are eating and that is causing all the trouble.

I can appreciate wanting to stick to your guns on your chosen lifestyle but I will tell you from personal experience that they are the only parents you will ever ever ever ever have. Don't do something stupid that you will regret for the rest of your life just because they wanted you to eat more pasta.

You need to accept them for who they are. Love the good parts and let the bad stuff just roll off your back. If I had any friends who gave me a hard time about my choices I would drop them and never look back but I would give anything to be able to have my mother give me a hard time about what I'm eating just one more time.

7278560e76901ded4081022b54c6e165

on September 12, 2012
at 04:04 AM

I see what you mean, I just need advice how to bring understanding and respect into the family about lifestyle choices. I am not going after them about theirs. They enjoy the way they eat and I leave it at that. But would like the same degree of freedom to enjoy my choices as well, as long as it does not damage my health.

2
782d92f4127823bdfb2ddfcbcf961d0e

on September 11, 2012
at 03:48 PM

I symphathize with you. Your parents love you and are concerned about your health so you will have to show them that you are getting enough nutrition. A person in another thread here said, very wisely, that it isn't about food groups but about nutrients. You'd have to do some work but if you show them how many calories you eat a day, what your macronutrient breakdown is, and how you are meeting all your micronutrient needs, then maybe they will be satisfied that you are taking good care of yourself. You can go to fitday or cronometer and enter everything you eat and it will break everything down for you. Good luck and be strong!

782d92f4127823bdfb2ddfcbcf961d0e

(5231)

on September 11, 2012
at 04:54 PM

They know that halvah, pastries, cookies, etc. aren't healthy don't they? At 18 years old you are still growing, probably. Unless you are wasting away, I would think that they should be able to see, with some time, that you are doing just fine (if that is actually the case).

7278560e76901ded4081022b54c6e165

on September 12, 2012
at 04:02 AM

They buy those stuff from the bakery, it's fresh, and not mass produced. So it sounds healthy.

7278560e76901ded4081022b54c6e165

on September 11, 2012
at 04:45 PM

They don't believe in calories only quantities. And I have tried using veggies to blow my meal sizes up but have a hard time with digesting the amount, but prefer medium meals with the fat content high so it takes less space but keeps the calories up. Plus I eat one serving plates of appropriate calories a meal, I never snack as I never am hungry except sometimes I get reminded it is meal time. My family are die hard snackers on baked goods such as halvah pastries cookies and chocolates. I just eat heavy square meals 3 times a day. This bugs them as well.

1
4870a46027d1b57fa982614d99ff86af

on September 12, 2012
at 07:27 PM

They may conclude that you are overly concerned with food and that the next stage could be anorexia. Parents always worry about their children even when those children are adults.

I rarely mention what I eat to anyone but perhaps because I cook when at home and order what I want from a menu when out so it does not arise. I doubt I would pass comment on what anyone else was eating either.

To save them worrying I would have salad or vegetables with meat/fish/omlette and not talk about food.

1
68294383ced9a0eafc16133aa80d1905

(5795)

on September 11, 2012
at 07:50 PM

You're in the right place. Continue to research and slowly present to them why Paleo is a great choice. If that isn't enough, your continued health and well-being should also be evidence of this.

As a parent, I would be concerned if you had a history of these issues and were constantly going from one thing to another, but showing the same signs/symptoms.

7278560e76901ded4081022b54c6e165

on September 12, 2012
at 03:49 AM

I went cold turkey low fat stuff 2 years ago, eating mostly fruits and vegetables, but always ate mom's baked goods such as cookies and muffins and all that, but pushed for sugar reduction and everything had to be organic. I ate no fats, even the granola I ate was free of all oils. All this so I could eat more and not worry about overeating. I was ok at that time, my body could handle the grains and stuff. Then came along a really stressful part of my life, where combined with my beliefs on eating I became depressed and starved myself.

7278560e76901ded4081022b54c6e165

on September 12, 2012
at 03:53 AM

After many months of this I decided/and realized I still had a life ahead of me, I didn't want to die like I thought I did. I knew and realized that my depression was preventing me from living life. By the time I got out it was too late and I had harmed myself pretty badly. Panicking I jumped onto the vegan/vegetarian bandwagon and fed myself loads of hummus and veggies to "recover" thinking the beans would give all the protein I needed. I of course was wrong but did not know at that time. After a while, nothing improved, my health was still in the pits and fluctuating back and forth.

7278560e76901ded4081022b54c6e165

on September 12, 2012
at 03:57 AM

Wondering why I was not improving I did some research and found Paleo, at first I thought: this is stupid, it's unhealthy, but the more I read. I decided to give it a test and see if it would do me any favours. I tested it by going cold turkey and bam I got near instant results within a week. I saw the results, but mostly they were internal, such as more energy, etc, external results came a little more slowly. I've tried to share, but they keep looking at the food, not the results. The fact that I refuse to eat "normal food" is the biggest issue.

1
98266ae0c87836d4bb714b6d31cacbf9

on September 11, 2012
at 03:36 PM

You know you are right,that is what counts.

I've been in a similar situation, but less intense. Sit down with them and explain, try your best. Although keep it in control, don't accuse them of their eating habits. Just say why you eat like this and how it has impacted your overall health. If they do not understand this, then let it be. Easier said than done but it is a must. For example, when they say you are killing yourself etc do not take it to heart. Listen and just smile, don't let it bother you in the slightest. As long as they are not forcing food down your throat you are good to go.

The difference is tearing you apart because you choose it. Don't get affected by their hate speech, that is what they want. IMO Adults just do not like to be wrong. Make an extra effort in your relationship, show them the paleoness ;)

Don't stress it.

98266ae0c87836d4bb714b6d31cacbf9

(1632)

on September 11, 2012
at 04:42 PM

Have you talked to them about this? I'm sure there must be someone in your family who understands? Use their help to explain to your family.

7278560e76901ded4081022b54c6e165

on September 11, 2012
at 04:40 PM

Yeah so how does one go by sharing a meal in peace while one will not eat what all others want and enjoy such as pasta with frozen veggies or rice stirfry with soya sauce, if meat stripped and drained of all fat. If I request only the good parts I either don't have enough, they don't have enough of it as I took a big portion of it to replace the junk or it's just not possible to separate the ingredients. Often I end up making my own supper when they have a pasta dish usually just with veggies and pasta. But with my family it makes a big drink as they feel I divide up the family by my choices.

7278560e76901ded4081022b54c6e165

on September 12, 2012
at 04:01 AM

Nope, all of them have issues with "Paleo" There's nothing wrong with bread they keep saying. They ate bread long ago and were fine. But of course The wheat of that time is nothing like modern wheat. If Paleo man ate any bread it would've been from the Emmer and Ekhorn vararites of wheat which almost don't exist in these days

0
1edb06ded9ccf098a4517ca4a7a34ebc

on September 11, 2012
at 05:36 PM

Hey. I used to have an eating disorder too, and unfortunately, food and body/appearance has always been a contentious issue in my family as my mother is a long-time anorexic who will somehow outlive us all and my father was bulimic in college (rationalization: because he rowed light weight crew and it a was demanded of him, LMFAO) and is now a functional anorexic. I was anorexic from 12-15 years of age, and am 22 years of age now.

Okay, honestly...f*** them (not literally...ew). It's your life and your body and your choice, so eat how you want and don't think about them. Usually when people attack your eating habits it is because it challenges their own, which they are unsatisfied with.. The sooner you liberate the choices you make from the influence of your parents (assuming it's not like, robbing a bank or something obviously unethical), the healthier you will be in the long run. You're not breaking any laws or emotionally or physically hurting anyone else. IF you are causing your family emotional turmoil by choosing to eat a certain way, then the issue is with them, and not you. Just lead by example. Chances are your parents are too old and set in their ways to change, but your siblings are not. They may be bitter at first, but if you're doing something right and they can see it, they will come around- I have seen it happen.

Good luck and when you boil it down, it's not a big deal and try to keep a sense of humor about things- it can help.

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