28

votes

I am so lonely.. we are social creatures.

Answered on September 12, 2014
Created June 14, 2011 at 1:41 AM

I am 21.. not currently enrolled in school and I am so lonely. I have been completely alone for like two years. My life is not fun.

We are social creatures.. Why me?

C074eec3b3c0325ef3018a128111823a

(1012)

on June 16, 2011
at 10:59 AM

I don't really see why the word "shocking" is so, well, shocking. Patrik can do what he likes, including take offence at comments others don't see the same way. I too think that the answers and support shown here have turned what might have at first glance seemed a poorly-formed question into a real gem.

101b3a5c96d313d22262f65bdff20acf

(539)

on June 16, 2011
at 09:25 AM

Understood. Won't happen again.

Fff58a1fd1e29d93fd6a25d3fdebbade

(400)

on June 16, 2011
at 07:57 AM

Any thoughts on what the mechanism would be that would cause taking 1000IU daily of vit D to cause breathing problems?

93f44e8673d3ea2294cce085ebc96e13

(10502)

on June 16, 2011
at 04:13 AM

@Jennie -- quit the drama please. Please. Puleez....Yes, I run PaleoHacks as a benevolent dictatorship. And yes, I suspended The Quilt for being annoying/insulting with his "shocking" comment. And yes, I KEPT THE QUESTION OPEN EVEN THOUGH IT "TECHNICALLY" SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN. And yes, I will isolate and "silence" any member, no matter how much they are liked, if they do not play by the rules. Insulting me is not playing by the rules. But generally speaking, I prefer to keep a hand's off approach --- but I will not let this descend into anarchy either.

101b3a5c96d313d22262f65bdff20acf

(539)

on June 15, 2011
at 08:48 PM

I respect and admire the effort and dedication that it takes to run an ongoing project like this, and to maintain its integrity and usefulness. But I'm also dismayed at this recurring tension on a site whose content is entirely developed by its community. Should I worry that I'm about to irritate someone, because it might seem a challenge to our dedicated pack leader? If this kind of feedback is not welcome, I will gladly shush and lurk. But I can't in good conscience retract.

101b3a5c96d313d22262f65bdff20acf

(539)

on June 15, 2011
at 08:44 PM

I agree, the question seems out of place here. "Shocking" is not a word I would use or endorse and I don't happen to agree with Quilt's opinion on this one. But look what happened after this iffy question was put forth to our community -- some very interesting discussion bloomed out of it that provided me (and, I think, many of you) with some insight and advice and reminders into my own condition *as a person who has chosen this particular Paleo path*. (cont'd)

A8d95f3744a7a0885894ee0731c9744c

(3761)

on June 15, 2011
at 07:22 PM

@Jennie- Not to sound like a kiss-up, but this "community" is a website run by an individual. He reserves the right to do with it what he will.

Af1d286f0fd5c3949f59b4edf4d892f5

(18452)

on June 15, 2011
at 07:22 PM

yah the quilt put forth some valuable input. i upvoted his comment above (way above). but then he insulted patrik directly, saying that he felt that even questioning whether or not this should stay open is 'shocking'. i think this 'question' is definitely 'questionable' based on the rules of Paleohacks, like it or not. But because of the topic at hand, and the heartfelt and important responses to it, Patrik made a judgement call to keep it open yet keep an eye on it. This, in my opinion, is well a played call all around.

101b3a5c96d313d22262f65bdff20acf

(539)

on June 15, 2011
at 03:16 PM

Wait wait wait. Suspended for being *irritating*? When we're talking about the importance of socializing we're going to isolate and silence a valuable member of the community who had something to contribute that other members appreciated?

101b3a5c96d313d22262f65bdff20acf

(539)

on June 15, 2011
at 02:54 PM

Wait wait wait. Suspended for being *irritating*? When we're talking about the importance of socializing we're going to isolate a valuable member who had something valuable to say? I was just starting to visit and vote and feel good about this place again, too.

A480640a53eb5dc8966f49141942f705

on June 15, 2011
at 04:36 AM

There might be a kernel of wisdom here ... many professionals recommend that instead of staying home feeling sorry for yourself, you should get out there and do some volunteer work -- feeling sorry for someone else will do wonders for your own mood!

1da74185531d6d4c7182fb9ee417f97f

(10904)

on June 15, 2011
at 02:44 AM

My husband works on video games for a living. I'd be a very bored wife if I didn't enjoy and admit to enjoying gaming. ;-)

95eda9fa0cec952b482e869c34a566b6

on June 15, 2011
at 02:08 AM

Sometimes the advice a person doles out is really for himself or herself.

507a43b2a190776060b8b142b464e808

(88)

on June 14, 2011
at 11:11 PM

I say be careful with the vit D. Taking 1000IU daily, I started having serious trouble breathing after 1 week. I stopped a month before retrying it to confirm,.. definitely was it.

93f44e8673d3ea2294cce085ebc96e13

(10502)

on June 14, 2011
at 07:59 PM

@TheQuilt -- run your own site the way YOU want it -- I'll run mine the way I want it. You are suspended for irritating me.

A2fe5bbd09c7804fd321e9e9a9f9d199

(1614)

on June 14, 2011
at 06:05 PM

man i can't recommend enough joining a good, supportive brazilian jiu jitsu school. if it's the right school with an encouraging atmosphere, it can feel like a second family in no time. plus the sort of workout you get and mental sharpening (think chess)

Ab0369a70755bd07f44292b4ca8b2260

(1579)

on June 14, 2011
at 05:00 PM

Exactly Laura…Mari when I see kids walking down the street together with their Starbucks in one hand and each of them texting on their cell phones and behaving as if the other kids aren't there, it disturbs me. That's the sort of anti-social I mean. Of course internet and Facebook and the like is great for some connection but there is nothing like the real thing.

Ed71ab1c75c6a9bd217a599db0a3e117

(25477)

on June 14, 2011
at 04:20 PM

The responses alone to this guy should be evidence enough. Why it is even questionable I find more shocking. I guess our sensibilities may just be different.

95eda9fa0cec952b482e869c34a566b6

on June 14, 2011
at 03:37 PM

@Patrik: We won't. The social aspects of being human and the seemingly contradictory isolation that many people face today in a hyper-connected world are both worthy of looking at through the paleo lens.

65660697ed243c7980725fd014eb00e0

(494)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:33 PM

Yep! Zero carb.

C8979be0fc9ef9ff8ee548b7510caabf

(0)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:54 PM

What is ZC? Zero carb?

66974b2cb291799dcd661b7dec99a9e2

(11121)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:48 PM

It is easy / simple to do, the trouble is we humans have a tendency to make simple things complex, just look at history lol. We tend to over think things, ignore the obvious, we look to technology for fixes that are right infront of us provided naturally. We know innately how to live Life but we are easily lead astray in today's World.

100fd85230060e754fc13394eee6d6f1

(18696)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:20 PM

This is the key answer to me. I had a mood disorder all my adult life. People who think you can solve that just by thinking are naive. Cognitive-behavioural therapy techniques could only help me get from mostly okay to okay. Once I was lower than that it was next to useless. The only thing that made clear dramatic difference for me is going ZC. I've been off medication for 2.5 years now and happy, after decades of misery.

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:07 PM

I think he either knows he made a mistake or is no longer on the site. I hope he knows he can take his comment down or amend it.

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:05 PM

I think all the texting emailing and facebook is catching up with us in lots of (anti)social ways. Technology seems to make it ok to not participate in the face to face, and to not have to feel that we are lonely. We fool ourselves that we have lots of connections spending time online, but it is ultimately hollow imo. Though there may be benefits for connecting with strangers online, in a kind of community, I need my daily face to face with people I know or want to know. PS not saying I hate online, I love it as much as anyone, but I see a realistic downside to it at times.

A8d95f3744a7a0885894ee0731c9744c

(3761)

on June 14, 2011
at 01:45 PM

Or the Air Force! Or reserves/national guard. When I was in, going overseas was on a voluntary basis (2004-2010).

3aea514b680d01bfd7573d74517946a7

(11996)

on June 14, 2011
at 01:39 PM

+1 especially for "get a dog." If a dog isn't possible, I definitely recommend some kind of animal companion, even a fish or a reptile. It's good to come home to a face.

A89f9751a97c3082802dc0bcbe4e9208

(13978)

on June 14, 2011
at 12:54 PM

Derrick, how about the Coast Guard, police force, fire fighters or even, heaven forbid, a Crossfit gym? ;)

A89f9751a97c3082802dc0bcbe4e9208

(13978)

on June 14, 2011
at 12:53 PM

Eric and Ben, great ideas!

A8d95f3744a7a0885894ee0731c9744c

(3761)

on June 14, 2011
at 12:40 PM

I think the martial arts gym idea is great, or a CF gym, or a team.

Cab7e4ef73c5d7d7a77e1c3d7f5773a1

(7314)

on June 14, 2011
at 11:34 AM

The more I think about this, the more I think a group is the right way to go. Joining, say, a crossfit gym or a tennis clinic would not only provide opportunities to socialize, but its an atmosphere where you're welcome and others are likely to reach out to you. It was hard for me to make new friends at school when I moved, but I made friends almost instantly at tennis just because of the nature of it. When I made new friends at school, it was within a particular group, which helped because everyone was more accepting and open.

Cab7e4ef73c5d7d7a77e1c3d7f5773a1

(7314)

on June 14, 2011
at 11:28 AM

I'm not sure texting, emailing, etc. are really so bad. Oftentimes they can be a supplement to in-person relationships. There are some people who take it to the extreme, of course, and text etc. to the exclusion of all else, but I don't think that's the majority. Also, it sounds like he really needs someone to connect with right now, and he doesn't have someone from either real life or technology.

C80bb4f697a72b771ae44cc3637df8f7

(179)

on June 14, 2011
at 11:20 AM

This comment is so insensitive. Just look above at the community we have and at how much support is there for someone who has the courage to put themselves out there. I don't have the rating to down vote you but here it is....DOWNVOTE!

93f44e8673d3ea2294cce085ebc96e13

(10502)

on June 14, 2011
at 07:44 AM

@Everyone -- please don't make me regret that I am keeping this open.

65660697ed243c7980725fd014eb00e0

(494)

on June 14, 2011
at 05:49 AM

Maybe if you can get to that four day mark and just binge on the good stuff, with no limit, it might do the trick. If nothing else, perhaps it'll break you of the habit of eating just to eat, which I know is one of the hardest things to conquer.

65660697ed243c7980725fd014eb00e0

(494)

on June 14, 2011
at 05:46 AM

I felt that way too—like once I'm 100%, everything will fall into place—which is why I've stuck with eating this way for the last eight months despite nothing to show for it. I went ZC at the beginning of the month though and for the first time I'm noticing something for my effort. You mentioned in another answer that after 3 or 4 days, you totally just binge. Going ZC I did the same thing! Except I binged on fat and protein and I think it made a huge difference. 11 days in and snack food doesn't even sound appealing. It sounds empty. I never in a million years thought that possible.

47a42b6be94caf700fce9509e38bb6a4

(9647)

on June 14, 2011
at 05:44 AM

I don't see any reason to close this as long as we keep it in a paleo perspective. I closed the other one because it struck me as mean-spirited.

1a98a40ba8ffdc5aa28d1324d01c6c9f

(20378)

on June 14, 2011
at 05:30 AM

Deelteing the post will earn a badge.

1a98a40ba8ffdc5aa28d1324d01c6c9f

(20378)

on June 14, 2011
at 05:27 AM

What about the Coast Guard?

E7be2ce38158357f5dacae07b43d1b29

on June 14, 2011
at 04:45 AM

If it was easy, the whole world would be one happy, contented place.

E7be2ce38158357f5dacae07b43d1b29

on June 14, 2011
at 04:44 AM

It's not always that easy. I know this, because now, at 40, after thinking I had at least the next five years figured out, it all fell apart. School, even though it can be enlightening and bring new amazing people into one's life, also = student loan debt. And frankly, since I live in a small town, I get more emotional support from the internet than I do locally. Sometimes "solutions" like this that sound simple aren't actually practical.

06d21b99c58283ce575e36c4ecd4a458

(9948)

on June 14, 2011
at 04:36 AM

http://paleohacks.com/questions/19298/looking-for-an-atlanta-paleo-group#axzz1PDnxlvxF Derrick, this is a thread about paleo meetups in Atl. And this is a search for Primal paleo in ATL http://www.google.com/#sclient=psy&hl=en&source=hp&q=paleo+meetup+atlanta&aq=1&aqi=g5&aql=&oq=&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&fp=3ece4bbf7ce578bb&biw=1579&bih=600 I feel confident you will find a group. It will be hard, but you have friends here and you will have friends in ATL.

21fd060d0796fdb8a4a990441e08eae7

(24543)

on June 14, 2011
at 04:25 AM

Derrick-- it may seem overwhelmingly difficult to be positive when times are hard. But if you keep trying your best, as cliche as it sounds, you will encounter people who care. Even though I'm a random internet person, you can be assured that I feel for you. It sucks feeling lonely when it seems like the rest of the world is having a grand ol' time. But situations are impermanent, and life is as unpredictable in a good way as it is in bad ways.

1da74185531d6d4c7182fb9ee417f97f

(10904)

on June 14, 2011
at 04:14 AM

Here's a meetup for Paleo/Primal folks in your area http://www.meetup.com/Atlanta-Paleo-Primal-Meetup/ here's a Real food meetup http://www.meetup.com/AtlantaRealFood/ see what else you can find on Meetup I've met quite a few people on that website. It's a fantastic resource.

Ed71ab1c75c6a9bd217a599db0a3e117

(25477)

on June 14, 2011
at 04:13 AM

Charlie this keeps up and you may have a negative PH rating and get your badges taken away......

E4ea912bb525efc4e392821120cfb8a6

(450)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:59 AM

I can't seem to make it a long lasting habit.. It is all around me at home and after 3 or 4 days something comes over me. It's almost like my taste buds get bored. I really want to get rid of ALL the bad foods, but my parents aren't on board.

E4ea912bb525efc4e392821120cfb8a6

(450)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:50 AM

Part of me wants to join the marines.. because it will make me stronger.. I just don't like the whole war aspect.

E4ea912bb525efc4e392821120cfb8a6

(450)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:27 AM

Definitely... :(. I can't seem to control myself with the diet. I have felt for a while that once I start eating paleo 100% of the time for months it will become a habit. From there I can move on to bigger things. I can't seem to get over the hump. It really keeps me down to be honest. I can't seem to go over a week on Paleo before I BINGE because I am lonely or bored or what ever.

Ed71ab1c75c6a9bd217a599db0a3e117

(25477)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:23 AM

-7 that is like a record. I never seen that low a negative number until I saw my divorce settlement.

E4ea912bb525efc4e392821120cfb8a6

(450)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:23 AM

I definitely believe in the cellular environment thing because I am only 21 and I have a lot of white hairs.. stress for two years I guess has really had an effect on me. :(

Ed71ab1c75c6a9bd217a599db0a3e117

(25477)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:22 AM

We can all help solve our problems......if we allow it.

Ed71ab1c75c6a9bd217a599db0a3e117

(25477)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:20 AM

I will say this.....you can all call Bullshit on me......what we think is more paleo than what we eat. And Derrick's question is at the core of what really is paleo or not. I am applauding his courage to put this out there because there will be hindreds that read this and feel his words. By posting this he is not not close to alone. He has made more friends here with this one question than he can imagine. Often our questions here are the virus we use to infect our fellow humans minds......and that is why I like this place. Derrick infected many of us. And we needed it.

E4ea912bb525efc4e392821120cfb8a6

(450)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:20 AM

I would do anything to be a part of a "tribe"... anything.

E4ea912bb525efc4e392821120cfb8a6

(450)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:19 AM

I live in Atlanta, Georgia!

E4ea912bb525efc4e392821120cfb8a6

(450)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:18 AM

Also I want to say that I keep on messing up on this paleo diet thing :-/... I can't seem to control myself. I live with my parents still and they eat sh*t food. I will eat well for like 3/4 days and then binge for a whole night. I need to move out or something.

C23ec4b85f3cbeb9ddf6bf78317d56e3

(300)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:15 AM

I'd be in much the same boat if it weren't for my kids... of course, if it weren't for my kids, then I'd probably still be running around partying and getting into all sorts of mischief... not the most healthy social life, I suppose. Either way, I hope you find resolution. I agree with the people that are telling you to step outside your comfort zone... step out to social functions and just start talking to people (easier said than done, I know. I have a friend who's done this and he seems pretty happy now) Good luck to you!

Medium avatar

(5136)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:13 AM

And this is merely in response to the question of "how do you change your thoughts?", I'm not making any assumptions about the thoughts you may or may not have. That said, we all have thoughts we could do without, and learning to observe your own mind is a valuable practice for anyone.

Medium avatar

(5136)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:08 AM

Yes, observing your own thoughts is key. Look at the thoughts you're having and then decide, are these helpful thought to me, or not? Are they negative? If you find yourself with a lot of worthless negative thoughts, simply throw them away and start again. Don't feel bad or guilty for having them, just crumple them up like a piece of junk mail and throw them away.

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:01 AM

Upvote for the thought writing. I did that and it took a huge burden off me and I learned things about myself that were surprising.

3aea514b680d01bfd7573d74517946a7

(11996)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:43 AM

Just applauding. Derrick, that's really honest and I'm glad you posted. I've had awfully lonely years in my life too. They sucked. And TheQuilt, that was a great response.

Cbb1134f8e93067d1271c97bb2e15ef6

on June 14, 2011
at 02:37 AM

@Primal Toad: Props to you for honesty and extending a real hand...

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:35 AM

I love the quilt!

65660697ed243c7980725fd014eb00e0

(494)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:35 AM

+1 for "If you want to "live paleo" you have got to "find your tribe(s)".

Cbb1134f8e93067d1271c97bb2e15ef6

on June 14, 2011
at 02:35 AM

First, you become AWARE of them and catch the negaive self-talk as it occurs and QUESTION it. An example is catatrophizing, which alot of us do. "Oh, I'll never be able to do that!" Start looking at all the messages you are feeding yourself. Reality: "Gordo, Dingledorfer and Bagelbrain all learned how to do that. IF I put the effort in to get the skills I need, I can do it too."

792634a784ec6a636c3137d0903e11b4

(1196)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:32 AM

One step at a time - start with the vit D, including going outside whenever you can. Pay attention to any positive feelings or thoughts you have, write them down. Choose funny and fun whenever you can, like Karin says. It's not about 'trying' to change your thoughts, it's about choosing to pay more attention to the good ones than the bad, and taking every opportunity to create good ones.

4a585ea8059f71614597a56805cc60c7

(390)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:31 AM

I tried to find a way to private message you but couldn't find the way to do it. I read a book called Psycho Cybernetics 2000, and it's a bit wacky but it did help guide me in to more positive self talk, thinking and I have more motivation.

792634a784ec6a636c3137d0903e11b4

(1196)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:28 AM

If it was easy, Derrick would be doing it already.

9759643ce5d97ab8fa649ae954656c4c

(3325)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:27 AM

It may not look like it on the surface, but this is a paleo question. Derrick is right that we are social creatures. We have a lot more to learn from our ancestors than just how to eat.

A65499f2f8c65602881550fe309cd48c

(3501)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:26 AM

You may think this is going to sound very Pollyana, but..to change your thoughts a lot of times it helps to change your immediate atmosphere...for instance, if you're watching depressing shows, reading sad things (like news), etc. that can really make life sucky. When i'm feeling icky (and believe me, i'm no stranger to depression) I watch things like puppy videos, funny movies, silliness in general. While it's not good to STAY on the computer, it's a place to start since you're ON the computer. hope that makes sense. Silly? maybe..but it works.

A65499f2f8c65602881550fe309cd48c

(3501)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:22 AM

Charlie...seriously? c'mon...not cool. get over YOURself. sheesh.

Ed71ab1c75c6a9bd217a599db0a3e117

(25477)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:20 AM

im also glad no of the police here closed this......regardless of whether it is a question or not.....when someone needs a hack they need a hack and this kid needs a hack. Our goal in life is to help one another. Services to others is the rent we pay for our time here on earth.....Derrick you need to change your thoughts to then act upon them. When your gut tells you not to do something you need to go to rotary lunches, chrurch meetings, trade shows, go to a medical meeting, go to a museum, travel with old people, volunteer at a hospital. We need you in our network as much as you need us!

Ed71ab1c75c6a9bd217a599db0a3e117

(25477)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:14 AM

a small social network predicts short longevity better than diet or genetics......truth. Hard to believe but the study has been done.

627cf3f5d1ddfb4c2f4c96169420f55f

(1621)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:12 AM

I recommend meetup.com

E4ea912bb525efc4e392821120cfb8a6

(450)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:06 AM

I guess Charlie thinks he is a hard ass. You sound like you are 15 years old.

E4ea912bb525efc4e392821120cfb8a6

(450)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:05 AM

How do you change your thoughts?

967229edcc94a66580110324524feb49

(688)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:02 AM

+1 just for admiting to gaming...it is way to fun

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34 Answers

best answer

4
Cd2ff8c68dd1f1d539ad7f0ee94b0421

on June 16, 2011
at 01:28 AM

I'm 52 this summer and I wouldn't take back my youth for anything ... a lot of it was a royal pain in the ass. Women, work, life ... so much stuff that most of us don't figure out for a while.

You're still young. Life gets better. It will for you, too.

20
462ed57189bd2b8ffbe2a975186191f9

(492)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:11 AM

Echoing the D3 recommendation... that stuff is amazing. It really just boosts your entire outlook on life, making you emotionally healthy so to speak, while a paleo diet does that as well as makes you physically healthy.

Beyond that, the hardest part is just getting out there and doing. It is so easy to just sit at home, be miserable, and say it's easier than going out and getting rejected or having to interact with people. I used to use the excuse that with me being a complete loner that I was, in essence, making myself stronger. In reality, all I was doing was making excuses.

I was lonely. All I wanted was a friend, someone to spend time with and someone to talk to. I put myself out there both socially in person and online and never got anywhere. I recently met a woman who is just absolutely head-over-heels for me and I feel the exact same way about her, and I owe it to these things:

Take risks. Put yourself out in situations that you normally would feel uncomfortable in. See a beautiful (wo)man? Approach them, talk to them. So what if you come off as awkward... some (wo)men think it's cute. See something you want to try? Do it. Say YES more than you say NO.

Be confident. Even if you don't feel it, act it anyways. I had the unfortunate tendency to over-thinking everything and never being sure of myself. Decide on a course of action, do it, stick to it, and be sure of why you're doing it. Even if things don't go your way, at least you tried and you learned something from it. If you're doing, you're learning from your experiences, and that's the most valuable thing in life.

Appreciate people. Go out of your way to make people feel special, and they'll return the favor. Remember their names to start and then use their names. People really like seeing and hearing their names, Derrick. Remember things they've told you. Ask them how they're doing, or specific things about them. Listen, be attentive, be interacting, and show people that you actually care about what they have to say.

Try new things. Do absolutely anything new where you have to interact with people. Take a motorcycle riding class at the community college. Find a weekend fitness class in the park to take part in. Just get out there and learn the fine art of interacting with people. Online dating is really popular and works. Just put yourself out there but don't get discouraged, it won't happen overnight.

I hope I've helped, even though it feels and looks like I've just written a self-help book.

13
06d21b99c58283ce575e36c4ecd4a458

(9948)

on June 14, 2011
at 01:55 AM

I would encourage you to supplement with Vit D3 at 10000IU a day for a couple of months..then back off to 5,000IU per day. This is not really a vitamin, but a hormone and it does wonders in changing one's outlook on life.

In addition, just the elimination of sugar and wheat products can assist you in becoming gregarious.

You have to change your thoughts to change your condition. And trying to change your thoughts will only succeed in trying to change your thoughts. You must arrive at thought change. There is no try, there is only do...to quote a short little green creature with pointy ears.

If you continue to talk about being lonely, guess what you get...being lonely. Change your thoughts.

E4ea912bb525efc4e392821120cfb8a6

(450)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:18 AM

Also I want to say that I keep on messing up on this paleo diet thing :-/... I can't seem to control myself. I live with my parents still and they eat sh*t food. I will eat well for like 3/4 days and then binge for a whole night. I need to move out or something.

792634a784ec6a636c3137d0903e11b4

(1196)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:32 AM

One step at a time - start with the vit D, including going outside whenever you can. Pay attention to any positive feelings or thoughts you have, write them down. Choose funny and fun whenever you can, like Karin says. It's not about 'trying' to change your thoughts, it's about choosing to pay more attention to the good ones than the bad, and taking every opportunity to create good ones.

Medium avatar

(5136)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:08 AM

Yes, observing your own thoughts is key. Look at the thoughts you're having and then decide, are these helpful thought to me, or not? Are they negative? If you find yourself with a lot of worthless negative thoughts, simply throw them away and start again. Don't feel bad or guilty for having them, just crumple them up like a piece of junk mail and throw them away.

E4ea912bb525efc4e392821120cfb8a6

(450)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:05 AM

How do you change your thoughts?

Medium avatar

(5136)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:13 AM

And this is merely in response to the question of "how do you change your thoughts?", I'm not making any assumptions about the thoughts you may or may not have. That said, we all have thoughts we could do without, and learning to observe your own mind is a valuable practice for anyone.

A65499f2f8c65602881550fe309cd48c

(3501)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:26 AM

You may think this is going to sound very Pollyana, but..to change your thoughts a lot of times it helps to change your immediate atmosphere...for instance, if you're watching depressing shows, reading sad things (like news), etc. that can really make life sucky. When i'm feeling icky (and believe me, i'm no stranger to depression) I watch things like puppy videos, funny movies, silliness in general. While it's not good to STAY on the computer, it's a place to start since you're ON the computer. hope that makes sense. Silly? maybe..but it works.

Cbb1134f8e93067d1271c97bb2e15ef6

on June 14, 2011
at 02:35 AM

First, you become AWARE of them and catch the negaive self-talk as it occurs and QUESTION it. An example is catatrophizing, which alot of us do. "Oh, I'll never be able to do that!" Start looking at all the messages you are feeding yourself. Reality: "Gordo, Dingledorfer and Bagelbrain all learned how to do that. IF I put the effort in to get the skills I need, I can do it too."

4a585ea8059f71614597a56805cc60c7

(390)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:31 AM

I tried to find a way to private message you but couldn't find the way to do it. I read a book called Psycho Cybernetics 2000, and it's a bit wacky but it did help guide me in to more positive self talk, thinking and I have more motivation.

Fff58a1fd1e29d93fd6a25d3fdebbade

(400)

on June 16, 2011
at 07:57 AM

Any thoughts on what the mechanism would be that would cause taking 1000IU daily of vit D to cause breathing problems?

507a43b2a190776060b8b142b464e808

(88)

on June 14, 2011
at 11:11 PM

I say be careful with the vit D. Taking 1000IU daily, I started having serious trouble breathing after 1 week. I stopped a month before retrying it to confirm,.. definitely was it.

11
1da74185531d6d4c7182fb9ee417f97f

on June 14, 2011
at 01:54 AM

Join a community garden. You'll meet like minded people and help grow healthy organic food. You can also volunteer in a school or a soup kitchen. My husband and i personally met people by, don't laugh, table top gaming and My husband LARPs. Sure it's dorky but you meet a lot of really interesting, smart people. We serve healthy food at our d&d games. Good cheese, dried Italian sausage, veggies, etc. It's not all mountain dew gluggling basement trolls.

Also try meetup.com. You can find all sorts of groups to join by your interest. There are religious groups, athiest groups, real foodies, paleo, Rock climbers, dog lovers. All sorts of stuff. Get out of your house and meet people!

967229edcc94a66580110324524feb49

(688)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:02 AM

+1 just for admiting to gaming...it is way to fun

1da74185531d6d4c7182fb9ee417f97f

(10904)

on June 15, 2011
at 02:44 AM

My husband works on video games for a living. I'd be a very bored wife if I didn't enjoy and admit to enjoying gaming. ;-)

10
627cf3f5d1ddfb4c2f4c96169420f55f

on June 14, 2011
at 02:12 AM

I used to somewhat be in the same boat as you. I chose to be anti social because of the trouble that my now awesome brother got in during high school and college years while I was in middle school and then early years of high school.

It sucked ass. I went out occasionally but hated it. I was 100% against drinking of any kind.

My life has taken a complete 180 since going Primal 14 months ago. It's amazing.

I am doing everything I can to not only grow the primal community but to bring it closer together as well. Primal Con changed my life in that it made me realize how important community is.

Derrick,

May I ask you where you live? Just city, state? There is no question that there are dozens of "cavemen" living within 20 miles of you. It's tough to find them but they are there. I have a primal meetup group list on my blog and will be updating it soon. It's possible there is already one near where you live. If not, I am sure I can find someone to create one where you live soon.

I'd be glad to help.

06d21b99c58283ce575e36c4ecd4a458

(9948)

on June 14, 2011
at 04:36 AM

http://paleohacks.com/questions/19298/looking-for-an-atlanta-paleo-group#axzz1PDnxlvxF Derrick, this is a thread about paleo meetups in Atl. And this is a search for Primal paleo in ATL http://www.google.com/#sclient=psy&hl=en&source=hp&q=paleo+meetup+atlanta&aq=1&aqi=g5&aql=&oq=&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&fp=3ece4bbf7ce578bb&biw=1579&bih=600 I feel confident you will find a group. It will be hard, but you have friends here and you will have friends in ATL.

E4ea912bb525efc4e392821120cfb8a6

(450)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:19 AM

I live in Atlanta, Georgia!

Cbb1134f8e93067d1271c97bb2e15ef6

on June 14, 2011
at 02:37 AM

@Primal Toad: Props to you for honesty and extending a real hand...

9
77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:33 AM

/Oh man I totally relate. I've become a hermit due to some bad circumstances and it is not easy to just go out and meet people. Once you're in such a state it just festers. But eating well and some meditation has provided me what I need to get out. Sometimes I'm so scared of what people will think of me but just getting into crowds is a great small step. Really start to turn your self loathing around. For every negative thing you think immediately think of something positive even if you don't really believe it. I love the idea of gaming or even going to church. I'm not religious but the universalists have some kick ass activities. A paleo meetup is an awesome idea too. Don't push yourself. Take small steps. Make a point to say hello to one person a day and build on it little by little.

So glad you reached out. That is a huge step you just took.

6
Cbb1134f8e93067d1271c97bb2e15ef6

on June 14, 2011
at 02:25 AM

Try sitting down and doing a very honest, written self assessment. Beyond your feelings what are your thoughts about yourself. I am a great believer that negative self judgements precede most negative, fearful feelings. Self talk is very, very important and whether we are aware of it or not, we are engaging in self talk all the time.

Try to step back from yourself and utilize an observing self, or what I sometimes call a "watchman." Sit your "watchman" on your shoulder and take a good look at you, though his eyes. Write what you see, feel, etc.

Write what makes you happy - what you enjoy - what gets you going and fired up, or what you imagine would. Imagine activities and situations you'd like to be in. What are they? What is stopping you from becoming a part of these situations/activities?

What are your strenghts? What inherent strengths do you have that could be developed further? IF you draw a blank and genuinely feel like you don't know, consider checking with the nearest community college's learning center. They can do all kinds of apptitude/interest testing that can give you some clues.

Take a good honest look at what you are doing in your life. You are not enrolled in school and you do not mention work. How are you spending your days? How are you living?

If you do not currently feel motivated to attend school, perhaps you need more experiece in life and with other people to learn more about yourself and what your interests and strenghts are. Consider checking out national programs like Americorps/VISTA, which has programs - thousands - in all areas, all over the country. You make a commitment, they pay you a living allowance/stipend, and you come out after a year with lots more self knowledge/confidence, $5,500.00 to apply toward schooling of your choice, health insurance for the year you are with them, mentoring/training in the program of your choice, and many colleges/unis that are interested in AMericorps alums and give you a tuition break and a number that have matching programs. And of great importance is that you work in an important job which helps/provides skills to others. There are also many workplaces, including many non-profits that are very interested in alums.

Here's a place to start: http://www.americorps.gov/

It sounds like you are pretty down. You need to know that things can change and that you can change them. Will it take effort and risk. Yes. But it all starts by wanting that change and mustering up the willingness to take action. Take_a_step. And_then_another.

My best to you and making the change you are seeking and finding the support in the process that will be helpful to you. Good on you that you had the courage to put your stuff out here. ;) (You see, THAT is a strength right there..;) )

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:01 AM

Upvote for the thought writing. I did that and it took a huge burden off me and I learned things about myself that were surprising.

6
417ac0e162dc468b8ca61a574e5cd3c0

on June 14, 2011
at 02:07 AM

To feel that you are part of a tribe/clan or group that accepts you, supports you and also relies on you is as essential for your health as is eating Paleo. Humans are, indeed social creatures. To be part of some sort of clan(s) is genetically-required for health and is no less (nor more) important than "eating paleo." Your thoughts and emotions about your life situation have just as profound an effect on your body's cellular environments as does your physical activity and diet.

"99% of the time humans have lived...we???ve lived in groups of 12 to 36 people..."-Margaret Mead

http://books.google.com/ebooks/reader?printsec=frontcover&output=reader&retailer_id=android_market_live&id=fZka5w4AxnMC&hl=en

If you want to "live paleo" you have got to "find your tribe(s)".

E4ea912bb525efc4e392821120cfb8a6

(450)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:23 AM

I definitely believe in the cellular environment thing because I am only 21 and I have a lot of white hairs.. stress for two years I guess has really had an effect on me. :(

E4ea912bb525efc4e392821120cfb8a6

(450)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:20 AM

I would do anything to be a part of a "tribe"... anything.

65660697ed243c7980725fd014eb00e0

(494)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:35 AM

+1 for "If you want to "live paleo" you have got to "find your tribe(s)".

5
95eda9fa0cec952b482e869c34a566b6

on June 14, 2011
at 01:54 AM

Do some volunteering in an area that interests you. Join a meet-up group. Join a summer sports league. There are many ways to meet new people other than school.

3
Medium avatar

on June 14, 2011
at 11:07 AM

This question and all the sweet and helpful answers just made me join up.

Keep posting Derrik.

And, pick five of your favorite things listed in these answers. Do them and report back.

Although, personally, I believe you should start with the nutrition advice. That will make a huge difference.

3
65660697ed243c7980725fd014eb00e0

(494)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:06 AM

How's your food intake been? I know you've been really hard on yourself in the past couple of weeks with the food in your parents' house tripping you up. I know when I get into those yoyo sort of circumstances my mood is always altered. Things that I could have easily taken in stride one day really weigh on me the next. It makes things terribly difficult.

I know that doesn't really answer your question, per se, but sometimes just being conscious of potential cause and effect can make all the difference.

C8979be0fc9ef9ff8ee548b7510caabf

(0)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:54 PM

What is ZC? Zero carb?

100fd85230060e754fc13394eee6d6f1

(18696)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:20 PM

This is the key answer to me. I had a mood disorder all my adult life. People who think you can solve that just by thinking are naive. Cognitive-behavioural therapy techniques could only help me get from mostly okay to okay. Once I was lower than that it was next to useless. The only thing that made clear dramatic difference for me is going ZC. I've been off medication for 2.5 years now and happy, after decades of misery.

65660697ed243c7980725fd014eb00e0

(494)

on June 14, 2011
at 05:46 AM

I felt that way too—like once I'm 100%, everything will fall into place—which is why I've stuck with eating this way for the last eight months despite nothing to show for it. I went ZC at the beginning of the month though and for the first time I'm noticing something for my effort. You mentioned in another answer that after 3 or 4 days, you totally just binge. Going ZC I did the same thing! Except I binged on fat and protein and I think it made a huge difference. 11 days in and snack food doesn't even sound appealing. It sounds empty. I never in a million years thought that possible.

65660697ed243c7980725fd014eb00e0

(494)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:33 PM

Yep! Zero carb.

E4ea912bb525efc4e392821120cfb8a6

(450)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:27 AM

Definitely... :(. I can't seem to control myself with the diet. I have felt for a while that once I start eating paleo 100% of the time for months it will become a habit. From there I can move on to bigger things. I can't seem to get over the hump. It really keeps me down to be honest. I can't seem to go over a week on Paleo before I BINGE because I am lonely or bored or what ever.

65660697ed243c7980725fd014eb00e0

(494)

on June 14, 2011
at 05:49 AM

Maybe if you can get to that four day mark and just binge on the good stuff, with no limit, it might do the trick. If nothing else, perhaps it'll break you of the habit of eating just to eat, which I know is one of the hardest things to conquer.

3
77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:57 AM

I don't know that anybody here can solve your situation, but hope you meet some nice people soon.

Ed71ab1c75c6a9bd217a599db0a3e117

(25477)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:22 AM

We can all help solve our problems......if we allow it.

3
Cab7e4ef73c5d7d7a77e1c3d7f5773a1

(7314)

on June 14, 2011
at 01:59 AM

Make an effort to go out and meet people. You'll fail at least as often as you succeed, but the successes will be very worthwhile for you, it seems like. Could you try enrolling in school? Working? Pursuing a hobby? Practice makes perfect, and that goes for social skills too. Get out there and take some risks. I'm pretty introverted myself, so I can understand this is hard, but sometimes you just gotta do it.

Also, are you by any chance an INTJ personality type?

Cab7e4ef73c5d7d7a77e1c3d7f5773a1

(7314)

on June 14, 2011
at 11:34 AM

The more I think about this, the more I think a group is the right way to go. Joining, say, a crossfit gym or a tennis clinic would not only provide opportunities to socialize, but its an atmosphere where you're welcome and others are likely to reach out to you. It was hard for me to make new friends at school when I moved, but I made friends almost instantly at tennis just because of the nature of it. When I made new friends at school, it was within a particular group, which helped because everyone was more accepting and open.

2
8c5533ffe71bd4262fedc7e898ead1ba

on June 15, 2011
at 02:17 PM

Derrick,

I'd second a lot of the recommendations here, but especially volunteering. First, it's free (well, except maybe public transport to get to wherever). Second, there are all sorts of studies showing that helping other people will literally make you happy. Third, it will get you into a new environment, where you get to be yourself in a new way and that might really help you to be who you really want to be in all the areas of your life. Check to see if Atlanta has a Volunteer Center, that serves as a clearinghouse for opportunities. Do you go to church or have any interest in that? There are always lots of volunteer opportunities there. Or you could probably just show up at any nursing home or animal shelter and say you want to volunteer and they'd be thrilled.

2
60c061f4b024f9ac421b27bf93b40ebe

on June 14, 2011
at 05:17 AM

You could look into "event and adventures" http://www.lotsofevents.com/EventCalendar/about It is designed as a dating service but it looks like it has lots of fun outings planned and it could be a easy way to meet other people that are also interested in meeting other people.

Don't give up! You will find your tribe it will just take some time. But the good stuff is worth the wait!

2
E7be2ce38158357f5dacae07b43d1b29

on June 14, 2011
at 04:05 AM

When I moved to FL I went through many years of being lonely because I had no community, and I'm just a little (a lot) too weird to blend in to the most obvious places. When I moved back here, I ended up experiencing a different kind of loneliness, while being surrounded by people, but none who understood me.

In the long run, all of that pain made me stronger. In retrospect, I wish I had used more of that time and energy feeling lonely by doing more research about all kinds of things, and just learning in general. If you think college interests you, even a class or two at a community college, go for it. The times in FL I made the most friends was when I was in community college. Many of the friendships didn't last, but they sure enriched the time in a good way, and kept my intellect churning.

Hang in there. Music always helped me a lot. I like the idea of getting involved in a community garden if you have one around. You also have us, Derrick Rose.

Know that you are like a caterpillar who will eventually emerge into something even more special. The down side is that means you will expect more from your friends and surroundings, but the upside is that you will become a greater and more developed YOU.

Just keep working on whatever it means to be the best YOU that you can be...

2
77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:14 AM

Get yourself ready for your next opportunity to meet people. You don't have to force it. But if you make yourself interesting people will be interested in you.

Read some books or anything you can talk about. Go shopping for the stuff you need to do start doing a hobby or sport you've been interested in.Try to get in the habit of walking around your neighborhood and smiling when you pass by your neighbors. When you acknowledge them you will likely get a response and you can start to meet them. Who knows who they know and can introduce you to. Get a dog if you like em and can have one. Automatic best friend, and a great ice breaker. I <3 my dog for starting so many conversations for me. Volunteer if you are up to it. Volunteering takes you out of yourself and the small picture and puts you in a big big one. Finally, take care of yourself. You need energy to be out there. Paleo is a great way to get it. Good luck!

3aea514b680d01bfd7573d74517946a7

(11996)

on June 14, 2011
at 01:39 PM

+1 especially for "get a dog." If a dog isn't possible, I definitely recommend some kind of animal companion, even a fish or a reptile. It's good to come home to a face.

2
A89f9751a97c3082802dc0bcbe4e9208

(13978)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:02 AM

I would add...

Join the army/navy/marines. Or join a martial arts gym!

1a98a40ba8ffdc5aa28d1324d01c6c9f

(20378)

on June 14, 2011
at 05:27 AM

What about the Coast Guard?

A89f9751a97c3082802dc0bcbe4e9208

(13978)

on June 14, 2011
at 12:53 PM

Eric and Ben, great ideas!

E4ea912bb525efc4e392821120cfb8a6

(450)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:50 AM

Part of me wants to join the marines.. because it will make me stronger.. I just don't like the whole war aspect.

A8d95f3744a7a0885894ee0731c9744c

(3761)

on June 14, 2011
at 12:40 PM

I think the martial arts gym idea is great, or a CF gym, or a team.

A8d95f3744a7a0885894ee0731c9744c

(3761)

on June 14, 2011
at 01:45 PM

Or the Air Force! Or reserves/national guard. When I was in, going overseas was on a voluntary basis (2004-2010).

A2fe5bbd09c7804fd321e9e9a9f9d199

(1614)

on June 14, 2011
at 06:05 PM

man i can't recommend enough joining a good, supportive brazilian jiu jitsu school. if it's the right school with an encouraging atmosphere, it can feel like a second family in no time. plus the sort of workout you get and mental sharpening (think chess)

A89f9751a97c3082802dc0bcbe4e9208

(13978)

on June 14, 2011
at 12:54 PM

Derrick, how about the Coast Guard, police force, fire fighters or even, heaven forbid, a Crossfit gym? ;)

2
Bd142c32b4055224d3191461f1f57520

on June 14, 2011
at 01:56 AM

Are you interested in any hobbies? Meetup.com has a lit of groups in your area that meet for certain interests like hiking, cycling, gaming, etc.

2
D3ff004d4a0c42b67cc2c49a5ee9c0f3

(5801)

on June 14, 2011
at 01:44 AM

Get off the internet and meet people - try enrolling in school.

E7be2ce38158357f5dacae07b43d1b29

on June 14, 2011
at 04:44 AM

It's not always that easy. I know this, because now, at 40, after thinking I had at least the next five years figured out, it all fell apart. School, even though it can be enlightening and bring new amazing people into one's life, also = student loan debt. And frankly, since I live in a small town, I get more emotional support from the internet than I do locally. Sometimes "solutions" like this that sound simple aren't actually practical.

1
7bf306ada57db47547e9da39a415edf6

(11214)

on June 15, 2011
at 06:43 PM

Derrick,

You might want to try Seth Robert's protocol of watching faces in the morning for improving mood. The basic idea is that watching faces in the morning pushes a few evolutionary buttons and we end up feeling better the next day. I've tried it and it seems to work pretty well. Obviously, I'd much prefer pushing those evolutionary buttons with actual humans, but I suspect this sort of improvement helps me get closer to making those relationships possible.

1
20c518f9d33b0d04c7a19b8bb7487695

(195)

on June 14, 2011
at 10:47 PM

If you can find some kind of group, be it a class, or religious community, or volunteering ar the local Ronald McDonald House, you will meet others who will become important to you. We did evolve as social beingS, and it is very impotant to find others with whom to spend time. Look into some of the Meet-up groups you can find online, or start one. I grew up in the back-of-beyond and I wouLd be so lonesome in summers, so I hope you are in a more urban/suburban setting. You won't regret making the effort.

1
072fd69647b0e765bb4b11532569f16d

(3717)

on June 14, 2011
at 01:43 PM

I had a few bad years myself and was quite depressed. I was fortunate to have a good supportive family but tended to isolate myself from them and the few friends I kept in touch with. I then took the advice of one of my friends who stuck with me and joined a CrossFit gym. I met a lot of great people, one of which was a minister at a local Methodist church. I started showing up at his church (even though he never even asked or indicated I should attend), and then I had two places where I knew that people cared about me - the CrossFit gym and the church. CrossFit is not for everyone, and church/religion can sound cliche, but they are both options. Ultimately, people care about you (see the posts on this site). You just need to get out of the isolation and go find them. I'm the healthiest I have been in years thanks to the friends I've found at these places.

1
Ab0369a70755bd07f44292b4ca8b2260

on June 14, 2011
at 06:12 AM

Unfortunately the world has become a lonely place with people choosing to text, email etc. rather than have real conversations in person. I think everyone is affected.

You might want to start each day with a journal with some positive affirmations. Start looking for things that are right in your life and you'll see more.

You'll also have to put yourself in the uncomfortable position of reaching out to people (like you did with your post,) and perhaps suffer some rejection???but the upside is you'll also meet some new friends.

Crossfit gyms are amazing sources of new like minded friends if you can afford one, and the meet up groups someone mentioned are great.

Just know there are people who are just as lonely as you are who are waiting for YOU to reach out to them.

Hang in there, this too shall pass.

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:05 PM

I think all the texting emailing and facebook is catching up with us in lots of (anti)social ways. Technology seems to make it ok to not participate in the face to face, and to not have to feel that we are lonely. We fool ourselves that we have lots of connections spending time online, but it is ultimately hollow imo. Though there may be benefits for connecting with strangers online, in a kind of community, I need my daily face to face with people I know or want to know. PS not saying I hate online, I love it as much as anyone, but I see a realistic downside to it at times.

Cab7e4ef73c5d7d7a77e1c3d7f5773a1

(7314)

on June 14, 2011
at 11:28 AM

I'm not sure texting, emailing, etc. are really so bad. Oftentimes they can be a supplement to in-person relationships. There are some people who take it to the extreme, of course, and text etc. to the exclusion of all else, but I don't think that's the majority. Also, it sounds like he really needs someone to connect with right now, and he doesn't have someone from either real life or technology.

Ab0369a70755bd07f44292b4ca8b2260

(1579)

on June 14, 2011
at 05:00 PM

Exactly Laura…Mari when I see kids walking down the street together with their Starbucks in one hand and each of them texting on their cell phones and behaving as if the other kids aren't there, it disturbs me. That's the sort of anti-social I mean. Of course internet and Facebook and the like is great for some connection but there is nothing like the real thing.

1
1a98a40ba8ffdc5aa28d1324d01c6c9f

(20378)

on June 14, 2011
at 05:16 AM

Derrick,

I would encourage you to find a group of people in your community that will have a postive influence on your life. It could be a church. It could be volunteering to help handicapped children ride horses. It could be almost anything.

Your time and talents can make a real diffrence in other peoples lives. This is also a good place to work with and meet other people.

Wishing you all the best - Eric

1
967229edcc94a66580110324524feb49

(688)

on June 14, 2011
at 01:58 AM

Try enrolling in college or atleast some classes. Also give Meetup.com a look.

627cf3f5d1ddfb4c2f4c96169420f55f

(1621)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:12 AM

I recommend meetup.com

1
6f2c00fcbf48c69f0ea212239b3e1178

on June 14, 2011
at 01:43 AM

Not socializing will drive anybody crazy. I have first-hand experience.

Anyway, why not find somewhere else to socialize if you don't go to school? That's not the only place people socialize, ya know.

0
84666a86108dee8d11cbbc85b6382083

(2399)

on June 17, 2011
at 01:07 PM

Read EndGame.

It WILL change your life.

http://www.attractioninstitute.org/book/endgame

0
77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on June 15, 2011
at 01:59 PM

Derrek

No grains. Beef Suet. Fasting.

Write back after a couple days of doing this, that's all the time it should take.

0
66974b2cb291799dcd661b7dec99a9e2

(11121)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:06 AM

Meeting people and making friends is easy, just like paleo is easy as Nike says 'just do it'. We choose how/why we act, no one else has that power over us.

792634a784ec6a636c3137d0903e11b4

(1196)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:28 AM

If it was easy, Derrick would be doing it already.

66974b2cb291799dcd661b7dec99a9e2

(11121)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:48 PM

It is easy / simple to do, the trouble is we humans have a tendency to make simple things complex, just look at history lol. We tend to over think things, ignore the obvious, we look to technology for fixes that are right infront of us provided naturally. We know innately how to live Life but we are easily lead astray in today's World.

E7be2ce38158357f5dacae07b43d1b29

on June 14, 2011
at 04:45 AM

If it was easy, the whole world would be one happy, contented place.

-1
77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on June 16, 2011
at 10:36 PM

You're 21, son. Go drink some beer.

-2
77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:57 AM

If you think taking a chance and being social will make you social, it won't! Diet will make you social, and make your life normal. Don't listen to all these philosophical wisdom phrases. You're not doing anything wrong besides diet. No grains/high beef suet/fasting will make you social. Sounds weird, but it will work. I thought I already told you to do this and you agreed, what's the problem here?

E4ea912bb525efc4e392821120cfb8a6

(450)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:59 AM

I can't seem to make it a long lasting habit.. It is all around me at home and after 3 or 4 days something comes over me. It's almost like my taste buds get bored. I really want to get rid of ALL the bad foods, but my parents aren't on board.

-22
5de22782359b98f35104ccc36ee9148b

on June 14, 2011
at 01:55 AM

or you could get over yourself...

1a98a40ba8ffdc5aa28d1324d01c6c9f

(20378)

on June 14, 2011
at 05:30 AM

Deelteing the post will earn a badge.

E4ea912bb525efc4e392821120cfb8a6

(450)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:06 AM

I guess Charlie thinks he is a hard ass. You sound like you are 15 years old.

A65499f2f8c65602881550fe309cd48c

(3501)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:22 AM

Charlie...seriously? c'mon...not cool. get over YOURself. sheesh.

C80bb4f697a72b771ae44cc3637df8f7

(179)

on June 14, 2011
at 11:20 AM

This comment is so insensitive. Just look above at the community we have and at how much support is there for someone who has the courage to put themselves out there. I don't have the rating to down vote you but here it is....DOWNVOTE!

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on June 14, 2011
at 02:07 PM

I think he either knows he made a mistake or is no longer on the site. I hope he knows he can take his comment down or amend it.

A480640a53eb5dc8966f49141942f705

on June 15, 2011
at 04:36 AM

There might be a kernel of wisdom here ... many professionals recommend that instead of staying home feeling sorry for yourself, you should get out there and do some volunteer work -- feeling sorry for someone else will do wonders for your own mood!

Ed71ab1c75c6a9bd217a599db0a3e117

(25477)

on June 14, 2011
at 03:23 AM

-7 that is like a record. I never seen that low a negative number until I saw my divorce settlement.

Ed71ab1c75c6a9bd217a599db0a3e117

(25477)

on June 14, 2011
at 04:13 AM

Charlie this keeps up and you may have a negative PH rating and get your badges taken away......

95eda9fa0cec952b482e869c34a566b6

on June 15, 2011
at 02:08 AM

Sometimes the advice a person doles out is really for himself or herself.

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