5

votes

HELP! MY PARENTS WANT ME TO STOP!

Answered on August 19, 2014
Created February 08, 2013 at 2:45 AM

Can anyone please tell me some tips or something to convince my parents to let me eat Paleo. They think that i'm not eating enough, when in reality I am! My dad hired a dietician to come to my house next friday and he already told her that I do Paleo, she said its good but then he mentioned that I'm a runner, and now shes saying that Paleo is not healthy for running, and it can cause problems yada yada yada. I just don't want him to say that I need to start eating grains and dairy and all that other nonsense. I feel great tbh, I have lots of energy and I eat no grains whatsoever but they just don't think i'm eating enough. If anyone can help me with this situation that'll be great. Thanks!!

3ce6a0d24be025e2f2af534545bdd1d7

(26217)

on February 18, 2013
at 06:54 PM

any up date????

24fcc21452ebe39c032be6801d6bbadd

(9812)

on February 09, 2013
at 02:30 PM

I wanted to down vote based on most of the first paragraph, but most of the second one was redeeming. Reason being- I'm sure the diet you're suggesting will be perfectly fine for a lot of people but I believe for people with healthy thyroids & kidneys, it's overkill to avoid above-ground veggies, and that sure won't help win any favor from the parents.

24fcc21452ebe39c032be6801d6bbadd

(9812)

on February 09, 2013
at 02:20 PM

I wanted to down vote based on most of the first paragraph, but most of the second one was redeeming. Reason being- I think for people with healthy thyroids & kidneys, it's overkill to avoid above-ground veggies, and that sure won't help win any favor from the parents.

30b9f6e748165212e94012d2db84563f

(30)

on February 09, 2013
at 02:44 AM

thanks, scratch. i'm new and didn't know how to do it ! (laugh all you want!!)

3491e51730101b18724dc57c86601173

(8395)

on February 09, 2013
at 01:20 AM

At least dieticians know not to reccommend glutenous grains to celiacs and might be able to explain that to your parents. But where there is no celiac or gluten sensitivity . . .

Dc6407193ba441d1438f6f0c06af872b

(4400)

on February 08, 2013
at 09:24 PM

Beautiful! Have a weigh-in. If you do begin to lose too much fat, go to the gym and gain a little muscle to up the weight a bit!

7dab2d8c97e44d8d0c298e5c9d5d75bc

(641)

on February 08, 2013
at 08:49 PM

Nice response! My parents don't understand that celiac is very serious. It's unfortunate!

Cb9a270955e2c277a02c4a4b5dad10b5

(10989)

on February 08, 2013
at 07:35 PM

Yea dude, I mean, if intolerant means "unable to eat a food without adverse effects" http://www.google.com/#q=define:+intolerant&hl=en&safe=off&client=safari&tbo=d&biw=751&bih=906&fp=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&cad=b , which it does according to google; you're probably right then that most people tolerate grains fine. I mean probably wrong, http://www.wheatbellyblog.com/2013/02/celiac-is-not-a-disease/ , you are probably wrong that most people tolerate grains fine. And if you want to keep up this pro grain nonsense at least cite your otherwise seeming opinions.

D1728f99db66ff91d695a6df5cd38b02

(1368)

on February 08, 2013
at 06:21 PM

Nice User-name joy

32f5749fa6cf7adbeb0b0b031ba82b46

(41757)

on February 08, 2013
at 06:12 PM

I'm not of the opinion that gluten sensitivity is the pathology, it is the symptom. Of course, we're finding increasing rates of gluten/wheat intolerance, we're getting further and further from our natural diet. As for the rate of gluten/wheat intolerance, nobody seems able to pin down a consistent number. Regardless, it's a small fraction of the population, so I stand by my statement: **Most** people are not intolerant/allergic to grains.

7e6644836cdbcbe2b06307ff7db92d31

(693)

on February 08, 2013
at 06:05 PM

I'll tale some of that wager action. This is why I like BMI. If you were overweight and hit your median BMI, people freak out. People have no idea what people are supposed to look like anymore. Now dropping below 18.5 is another matter.

Cb9a270955e2c277a02c4a4b5dad10b5

(10989)

on February 08, 2013
at 05:43 PM

Okay Matt so Are you saying that non celiac gluten sensitivity doesn't exist in a significant portion of the population? Because you will lose that conversation : https://www.marksdailyapple.com/how-common-is-gluten-sensitivity/ .

96d492bc621cf194ec53acd8084dadb0

on February 08, 2013
at 05:13 PM

Are you kidding? Most people think we're completely insane.

E35e3d76547b18096a59c90029e7e107

(15613)

on February 08, 2013
at 02:56 PM

I didn't say that this guy should now say post hoc that the reason why he went paleo is because he has gluten sensitivity. I said that in general it's really useful to be able to say "I'm sensitive to gluten" as a reason for not eating sandwiches/cake rather than just "I prefer not to eat such food" or "I believe grains are unhealthy and contrary to our evolutionary diet."

32f5749fa6cf7adbeb0b0b031ba82b46

(41757)

on February 08, 2013
at 02:22 PM

And you think some bullshit self-diagnosis is going to fly further with his family? If there really is a problem with the food the family should be made fully aware of it, get doctors involved. Get the nutritionist involved.

E35e3d76547b18096a59c90029e7e107

(15613)

on February 08, 2013
at 01:34 PM

Sure- to me the guy just seems like he wants to avoid grains and dairy, which is reasonable enough. If by "all that other rubbish" he means "food", then I'll agree that he has a problem. ;)

E35e3d76547b18096a59c90029e7e107

(15613)

on February 08, 2013
at 01:31 PM

In most families and many other situations just saying "I prefer not to eat that" won't get you very far. Saying "I'm sensitive to wheat/gluten" or "wheat gives me an upset stomach [without going into too must disgusting gut related detail]" isn't even a fake medical diagnosis just a commonly true observation.

32f5749fa6cf7adbeb0b0b031ba82b46

(41757)

on February 08, 2013
at 01:23 PM

Just be honest, say "I prefer not to eat that." Instead of concocting a psuedo-medical diagnosis.

32f5749fa6cf7adbeb0b0b031ba82b46

(41757)

on February 08, 2013
at 01:20 PM

Yes, losing weight worries some people. My family still claims I'm too skinny. But this is a kid. And given the number of "recovering" disorder eaters that find their way here, it's certainly not outside the realm of possibility that something is wrong. It's one thing to promote healthful eating, but I think at times paleo is used to legitimize eating disorders.

Ae3b7ea9f3755af32287825db8d98796

(2022)

on February 08, 2013
at 12:43 PM

I understand that you might know how to eat now and have a healthy body image, but for your parents, your eating a restrictive diet, no matter how healthy, must be terrifying. Try to understand where they're coming from too. You've gotten a lot of good advice here. Good luck!

E35e3d76547b18096a59c90029e7e107

(15613)

on February 08, 2013
at 12:14 PM

The fake allergies excuse is really useful. Especially when it's often completely true that people have bad responses to grains. Much easier than saying "technically it's not an allergic reaction or celiac response, but I do have a variety of symptoms in response to grains probably linked to an inflammatory response, although the mechanism behind gluten insensitivity remains to be eludicated http://www.biomedcentral.com/1741-7015/10/13." When people don't care.

E35e3d76547b18096a59c90029e7e107

(15613)

on February 08, 2013
at 12:10 PM

Quite a few people I wager. My family asked my Doctor whether I was "anorexic" when I lost weight (just by not eating any chocolate snacks)- and my Doctor said "no" (which was obvious) and pointed out that I was slightly overweight according to BMI. This response to anyone losing weight is mentioned on another thread and seems quite common.

32f5749fa6cf7adbeb0b0b031ba82b46

(41757)

on February 08, 2013
at 11:59 AM

If his parents are willing to call in a nutritionist at the drop of a hat (or is it?), then I bet they'll call his bluff being intolerant/allergic to grains. Most people are not intolerant/allergic to grains.

Cb9a270955e2c277a02c4a4b5dad10b5

(10989)

on February 08, 2013
at 11:49 AM

@matt, it's my understanding that a lot of people are allergic to grains in that grains have adverse effects on people who don't test positive for celiac disease. Some people are less accommodating than others but if John says he feels bad in whatever way when he eats wheat/other grains what parent is going to still insist he eats it? You say so lame, I say so foolproof.

532cfd279d793e8fcc23b9f6d91dde5c

(1981)

on February 08, 2013
at 04:44 AM

Then up vote the answer, honey

32f5749fa6cf7adbeb0b0b031ba82b46

(41757)

on February 08, 2013
at 04:33 AM

I missed your comment before I posted, Mandy, but I agree, the actions taken aren't normal, something more serious is going on here and we're not getting the whole store.

32f5749fa6cf7adbeb0b0b031ba82b46

(41757)

on February 08, 2013
at 04:27 AM

The fake allergies and celiac excuse is so lame.

44ab5a6b9109aa1a4885c3d04d59d869

on February 08, 2013
at 03:26 AM

Haha they know that I don't have that disease D:, but okay ill use this and ask her if she tries to tell me to eat grains. Thanks!

44ab5a6b9109aa1a4885c3d04d59d869

on February 08, 2013
at 03:02 AM

In my past yes, but not recently. Thats the past but I now I know how to eat healthy and to make the right decisions. I eat plenty of fruits and veggies and I also eat lots of protein from meats and fish, I just don't understand why he has to act like this.

3327924660b1e2f8f8fc4ca27fedf2b2

(2919)

on February 08, 2013
at 02:54 AM

It's not like they're gonna force the food down your throat. All you have to do is say "no."

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12 Answers

best answer

9
3ce6a0d24be025e2f2af534545bdd1d7

(26217)

on February 08, 2013
at 02:56 AM

Just take it easy and be ready to explain how you intend to deal with whatever problems the dietian comes up with. If the dietician suggested paleo was ok until she/ he heard of you were a runner, I can only think of two questions:

Carbs. Check, paleo is not low carb, I plan to eat plenty if tubers and starchy fruits

Fiber. Fruits and vegetables

9
24c27817ad9ac518946dda4a131737b5

on February 08, 2013
at 04:22 AM

Ignore the parents. That's what I did. You've got to learn how to domesticate your parents such that they service your interests, rather than you theirs.

No, but seriously, your parents have a right to take an interest in your health. It is your job to alleviate their concern.

And the solution is simple: go to the bathroom and get the scale. Put it down in front of them, get on. Tell them if you lose any weight, you'll eat more or get off Paleo. And offer to weigh yourself in front of them every month.

Don't argue any further. Parents like to yammer, you understand. Just do it your way. If your dad is a good dad, he'll secretly respect you for it and be glad he raised a young man, and not a servile wuss.

Dc6407193ba441d1438f6f0c06af872b

(4400)

on February 08, 2013
at 09:24 PM

Beautiful! Have a weigh-in. If you do begin to lose too much fat, go to the gym and gain a little muscle to up the weight a bit!

4
Ae3b7ea9f3755af32287825db8d98796

on February 08, 2013
at 02:59 AM

Collect as much information as possible, good and bad. Let them see that you've made an educated decision and agree to keep track of what you're eating on a daily basis so they can monitor your calorie intake.

It does concern me that your parents have gone so far as to hire a dietician. It makes me think that there is more going on than you are saying. Have you had issues with disordered eating in your past?

44ab5a6b9109aa1a4885c3d04d59d869

on February 08, 2013
at 03:02 AM

In my past yes, but not recently. Thats the past but I now I know how to eat healthy and to make the right decisions. I eat plenty of fruits and veggies and I also eat lots of protein from meats and fish, I just don't understand why he has to act like this.

Ae3b7ea9f3755af32287825db8d98796

(2022)

on February 08, 2013
at 12:43 PM

I understand that you might know how to eat now and have a healthy body image, but for your parents, your eating a restrictive diet, no matter how healthy, must be terrifying. Try to understand where they're coming from too. You've gotten a lot of good advice here. Good luck!

32f5749fa6cf7adbeb0b0b031ba82b46

(41757)

on February 08, 2013
at 04:33 AM

I missed your comment before I posted, Mandy, but I agree, the actions taken aren't normal, something more serious is going on here and we're not getting the whole store.

3
32f5749fa6cf7adbeb0b0b031ba82b46

(41757)

on February 08, 2013
at 04:32 AM

I'm willing to wager there's more going on here than meets the eye. Who brings in a nutritionist when somebody is eating normally or as normally as paleo is? And like always, there's two sides to each story, and neither are usually right, the truth is somewhere in the middle.

96d492bc621cf194ec53acd8084dadb0

on February 08, 2013
at 05:13 PM

Are you kidding? Most people think we're completely insane.

E35e3d76547b18096a59c90029e7e107

(15613)

on February 08, 2013
at 01:34 PM

Sure- to me the guy just seems like he wants to avoid grains and dairy, which is reasonable enough. If by "all that other rubbish" he means "food", then I'll agree that he has a problem. ;)

7e6644836cdbcbe2b06307ff7db92d31

(693)

on February 08, 2013
at 06:05 PM

I'll tale some of that wager action. This is why I like BMI. If you were overweight and hit your median BMI, people freak out. People have no idea what people are supposed to look like anymore. Now dropping below 18.5 is another matter.

32f5749fa6cf7adbeb0b0b031ba82b46

(41757)

on February 08, 2013
at 01:20 PM

Yes, losing weight worries some people. My family still claims I'm too skinny. But this is a kid. And given the number of "recovering" disorder eaters that find their way here, it's certainly not outside the realm of possibility that something is wrong. It's one thing to promote healthful eating, but I think at times paleo is used to legitimize eating disorders.

E35e3d76547b18096a59c90029e7e107

(15613)

on February 08, 2013
at 12:10 PM

Quite a few people I wager. My family asked my Doctor whether I was "anorexic" when I lost weight (just by not eating any chocolate snacks)- and my Doctor said "no" (which was obvious) and pointed out that I was slightly overweight according to BMI. This response to anyone losing weight is mentioned on another thread and seems quite common.

2
E35e3d76547b18096a59c90029e7e107

(15613)

on February 08, 2013
at 12:21 PM

This is really difficult and I've experienced similar responses from my own family. I would recommend just saying that you will eat a lot of some paleo carb. No-one can reasonably insist that grains and dairy specifically are necessary for runners (though, of course, many nutritionists will try). You can easily eat an entire butternut squash quite frequently within a paleo framework, which should be seen as a decent amount of food. Of course there is no guaranteed that this will be acknowledge, I for example, have been accused of not eating enough even when I've had my plate piled high with beef and a kilogram of carrots or 6 egg omelettes with 100g of butter. Basically people have very inflexible ideas of what food is normal and required, so if I'm eating 500g livers made into pate with butter and cream or eating, I'll still be told that I need a slice of toast with it (nutritionally), or be told that I need something other than an entire 1000kcal+ block of coconut cream before going out (like some rice crispies) or else I'll be hungry.

2
Cb9a270955e2c277a02c4a4b5dad10b5

(10989)

on February 08, 2013
at 03:22 AM

Well there would be no reason for them to force you to eat grains. You are a runner, so the dietitian might say you need carbohydrates, tell her that's great, can she recommend any tubers/vegetables with sufficient carbs in them. Like, for me I'd recommend potatoes, you have no reason to be forced to eat grains (tell her you might have a gluten allergy or celiacs disease, have you been tested?) there are tons of tubers that you could eat in its' place.

44ab5a6b9109aa1a4885c3d04d59d869

on February 08, 2013
at 03:26 AM

Haha they know that I don't have that disease D:, but okay ill use this and ask her if she tries to tell me to eat grains. Thanks!

E35e3d76547b18096a59c90029e7e107

(15613)

on February 08, 2013
at 12:14 PM

The fake allergies excuse is really useful. Especially when it's often completely true that people have bad responses to grains. Much easier than saying "technically it's not an allergic reaction or celiac response, but I do have a variety of symptoms in response to grains probably linked to an inflammatory response, although the mechanism behind gluten insensitivity remains to be eludicated http://www.biomedcentral.com/1741-7015/10/13." When people don't care.

32f5749fa6cf7adbeb0b0b031ba82b46

(41757)

on February 08, 2013
at 02:22 PM

And you think some bullshit self-diagnosis is going to fly further with his family? If there really is a problem with the food the family should be made fully aware of it, get doctors involved. Get the nutritionist involved.

Cb9a270955e2c277a02c4a4b5dad10b5

(10989)

on February 08, 2013
at 07:35 PM

Yea dude, I mean, if intolerant means "unable to eat a food without adverse effects" http://www.google.com/#q=define:+intolerant&hl=en&safe=off&client=safari&tbo=d&biw=751&bih=906&fp=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&cad=b , which it does according to google; you're probably right then that most people tolerate grains fine. I mean probably wrong, http://www.wheatbellyblog.com/2013/02/celiac-is-not-a-disease/ , you are probably wrong that most people tolerate grains fine. And if you want to keep up this pro grain nonsense at least cite your otherwise seeming opinions.

Cb9a270955e2c277a02c4a4b5dad10b5

(10989)

on February 08, 2013
at 11:49 AM

@matt, it's my understanding that a lot of people are allergic to grains in that grains have adverse effects on people who don't test positive for celiac disease. Some people are less accommodating than others but if John says he feels bad in whatever way when he eats wheat/other grains what parent is going to still insist he eats it? You say so lame, I say so foolproof.

Cb9a270955e2c277a02c4a4b5dad10b5

(10989)

on February 08, 2013
at 05:43 PM

Okay Matt so Are you saying that non celiac gluten sensitivity doesn't exist in a significant portion of the population? Because you will lose that conversation : https://www.marksdailyapple.com/how-common-is-gluten-sensitivity/ .

32f5749fa6cf7adbeb0b0b031ba82b46

(41757)

on February 08, 2013
at 01:23 PM

Just be honest, say "I prefer not to eat that." Instead of concocting a psuedo-medical diagnosis.

32f5749fa6cf7adbeb0b0b031ba82b46

(41757)

on February 08, 2013
at 06:12 PM

I'm not of the opinion that gluten sensitivity is the pathology, it is the symptom. Of course, we're finding increasing rates of gluten/wheat intolerance, we're getting further and further from our natural diet. As for the rate of gluten/wheat intolerance, nobody seems able to pin down a consistent number. Regardless, it's a small fraction of the population, so I stand by my statement: **Most** people are not intolerant/allergic to grains.

32f5749fa6cf7adbeb0b0b031ba82b46

(41757)

on February 08, 2013
at 11:59 AM

If his parents are willing to call in a nutritionist at the drop of a hat (or is it?), then I bet they'll call his bluff being intolerant/allergic to grains. Most people are not intolerant/allergic to grains.

E35e3d76547b18096a59c90029e7e107

(15613)

on February 08, 2013
at 02:56 PM

I didn't say that this guy should now say post hoc that the reason why he went paleo is because he has gluten sensitivity. I said that in general it's really useful to be able to say "I'm sensitive to gluten" as a reason for not eating sandwiches/cake rather than just "I prefer not to eat such food" or "I believe grains are unhealthy and contrary to our evolutionary diet."

32f5749fa6cf7adbeb0b0b031ba82b46

(41757)

on February 08, 2013
at 04:27 AM

The fake allergies and celiac excuse is so lame.

E35e3d76547b18096a59c90029e7e107

(15613)

on February 08, 2013
at 01:31 PM

In most families and many other situations just saying "I prefer not to eat that" won't get you very far. Saying "I'm sensitive to wheat/gluten" or "wheat gives me an upset stomach [without going into too must disgusting gut related detail]" isn't even a fake medical diagnosis just a commonly true observation.

1
3491e51730101b18724dc57c86601173

(8395)

on February 08, 2013
at 08:08 PM

Your parents are concerned and caring. That's a point in their favor. At your age, your "job" in life is to separate yourself from your parents, and diet is one of those things you can exercise some control over, but it's hard for them to let go. They want to make sure you're going to be OK.

I have kids 12 and 20. My 20 year old is a ballet dancer, so the big fear is always anorexia--and it's extending far beyond the dance community these days--that's why your parents are worried, too. I was very careful not to comment or intervene, but I watched her carefully as a teen anyway--she had dance friends who were dangerously thin. Fortunately, she's small, thin, but not overly so. Her diet is abyssmal (lots of junk) and she probably has gluten intolerance but won't give up the gluten, but she's going to have to come to her own resolutions because my interference will just get pushback. As a parent or a teen, you have to pick your battles.

I would suggest doing a food diary (FitDay or Chronos are good online programs) between now and when you see the dietician so that you have an accurate record of your caloric intake, macro and micro nutrients. Then you can have a serious discussion with the dietician. She will probably recommend more carbs, but as pointed out above, you can get those additional carbs from starchy veggies instead of grains. She will probably tell you that you will be nutritionally deficient if you don't eat grains because of the fiber and the nutrients that they have to add back IN to grains (LOL!), but if you are tracking you can show her where you are getting fiber and those other nutrients (i.e calcium is much better absorbed from leafy green veggies and small fish bones, and you need dietary D3 as well to use the calicium--that comes from good saturared fats she will probably recommend against).

Anyway, make the best of it. Give the dietician some wiggle room so you can meet her half way. That will please and calm your parents down, but still leave YOU in control of your own body.

7dab2d8c97e44d8d0c298e5c9d5d75bc

(641)

on February 08, 2013
at 08:49 PM

Nice response! My parents don't understand that celiac is very serious. It's unfortunate!

3491e51730101b18724dc57c86601173

(8395)

on February 09, 2013
at 01:20 AM

At least dieticians know not to reccommend glutenous grains to celiacs and might be able to explain that to your parents. But where there is no celiac or gluten sensitivity . . .

1
04a4f204bc2e589fa30fd31b92944549

(975)

on February 08, 2013
at 04:32 PM

My dad rolls his eyes and says gluten won't kill you. Actually I have celiac so yes it can lol. Sorry your parents are being unsupportive :( read as much as you can about the science behind paleo ,your counter arguments will be bulletproof!

0
7a61bbf955ff91c2e7c10f30cf2ba073

on February 08, 2013
at 10:04 PM

running is not healthy...raises cortisol...you should be eating dairy however, your dad is right...it's the cleanest source of protein and the most pro-metabolic food there is...excellenty macro nutrient ratio and source of vitamins....also its incredibly convenient...avoid the grains, avoid the nuts, avoid the above ground veggies (cellulose, goitrogens, oxalates) but dairy should be your best friend

focus on eggs, dairy, ruminant meats w/ gelatin or bone broth, fruit, and below ground veggies (potatoes) and you will be good to go...no parent could argue w/ that

24fcc21452ebe39c032be6801d6bbadd

(9812)

on February 09, 2013
at 02:20 PM

I wanted to down vote based on most of the first paragraph, but most of the second one was redeeming. Reason being- I think for people with healthy thyroids & kidneys, it's overkill to avoid above-ground veggies, and that sure won't help win any favor from the parents.

24fcc21452ebe39c032be6801d6bbadd

(9812)

on February 09, 2013
at 02:30 PM

I wanted to down vote based on most of the first paragraph, but most of the second one was redeeming. Reason being- I'm sure the diet you're suggesting will be perfectly fine for a lot of people but I believe for people with healthy thyroids & kidneys, it's overkill to avoid above-ground veggies, and that sure won't help win any favor from the parents.

0
Bfddc0ab925c8ea0e0c2e87198514907

on February 08, 2013
at 11:30 AM

We can give you a counter-argument if you tell us specifically what they think the problem is.

0
4d87e2c6f6f8c1c7d878cb368e27ba48

on February 08, 2013
at 07:24 AM

You may want to let them read Gary Taubes's "Good Calories, Bad Calories" or Nora Gedgaudas's "Primal Body, Primal Mind". You just may sway them to join you. Best of Luck!

0
30b9f6e748165212e94012d2db84563f

(30)

on February 08, 2013
at 04:26 AM

diabeticbinger--that is BRILLIANT! I wish i had had you around when my kids were young....!

30b9f6e748165212e94012d2db84563f

(30)

on February 09, 2013
at 02:44 AM

thanks, scratch. i'm new and didn't know how to do it ! (laugh all you want!!)

532cfd279d793e8fcc23b9f6d91dde5c

(1981)

on February 08, 2013
at 04:44 AM

Then up vote the answer, honey

D1728f99db66ff91d695a6df5cd38b02

(1368)

on February 08, 2013
at 06:21 PM

Nice User-name joy

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