10

votes

Help me get my wife to go paleo, please

Answered on September 12, 2014
Created June 10, 2011 at 7:45 PM

I went paleo a couple of months ago, and my wife did not. This has caused a little bit of friction in that, on the rare occasion that she cooks instead of me, she doesn???t cook anything I can eat. This is not of spite or lack of support for my dietary decisions, but more that she just doesn???t know what is ???paleo.??? She tried to go paleo with me, but never made it more than a week. She just couldn???t kick sweets, and she never bothered to learn what was paleo or paleo-ish (so if I want there to cook for her, she???d opt for pizza or similar.)

I dropped about 10 lbs in the first 2 months without complying too strictly to the diet (I think a big part of this is water weight from the dramatically reduced salt intake) and I feel so good. I feel like I look like I???ve lost weight, (even if I haven???t actually lost as much as I feel like I have.) My wife has even commented that she thinks I look better, both physically and in spirit. Then she starts complaining about how she feels bad, and she needs to lose weight. This is usually while eating a half-pint of ice cream, or some cup cakes. She seems interested in the health benefits of paleo, and she???s jealous that I lost weight and changed literally nothing except for my diet, she even loves the meals I prepare (all paleo) but yet she still won???t commit.

For 6 months before our wedding, she tried almost every crazy, fad diet in the book??? all for 3 or 4 days. She just couldn???t stick to anything. Most of the time I was happy that she stopped trying them. The HCG 500 calorie per day diet was just stupid. So was her decision to eat nothing but fruit, or to subsist on liquid foods like Ensure. Each time the result was the same, and she never lost any weight. These diets were coupled with an attempt to do 3- 6 hours of cardio DAILY at the gym. But with each failure she seemed to take it harder until she finally declared the she just couldn???t lose weight ??? it was impossible. Now her spirit seems broken with this regard, and she hates her body.

She used to be a very driven, very in shape and active person. And I know that if she were to stick with paleo for even 2 weeks she???d start to see the kind of results she wants, and she???d feel so much better. Have any of you out there managed to help someone overcome themselves and finally ???buy in??? long enough to see it work? I???m turning to you, PaleoHack. Any suggestions on how to get her to do this with me?

FWIW, I DO feel like a jerk for posting a ???how do I get my wife to get skinny again??? post :)

7eba3d743671649c1e06cacce0ba4e77

(1423)

on February 11, 2013
at 03:47 AM

Are you and Loveth brothers from another mother?

7eba3d743671649c1e06cacce0ba4e77

(1423)

on February 11, 2013
at 03:46 AM

... ... ...Huh?

4debe57f81d507bcb844f10b2ef38a83

(398)

on February 10, 2013
at 10:53 PM

Another option, along these lines, would be asking her to consider going WAPF. It eliminates the junk and prepares grains to optimize nutrition and minimize damage. It's also a lot more work than paleo, because of having to prep grains, but it's a huge improvement over SAD.

7841848bd0c27c64353c583fb7971242

(7275)

on January 25, 2013
at 03:44 PM

Syrahna didn't appear offended: that's your own reading. She pointed out that jokes about domestic violence aren't funny, and they are especially not funny to people who have had to endure domestic violence, some of whom are likely to be on this board.

96440612cf0fcf366bf5ad8f776fca84

(19463)

on December 16, 2011
at 09:50 PM

I suspect is was stents since the wife says they removed some blockage. Might have been a bypass, not sure. Wish I knew. Wife doesn't give me too many details -probably just doesn't know, and mom doesn't speak English, so between the two, it's hard to gather proper info. I know she had diabetes and was taking something for it, that raised her blood pressure and also caused heart issues, and she's got osteoporosis and/or arthritis now, then had the heart operation + another for her knee.

96bf58d8c6bd492dc5b8ae46203fe247

(37227)

on December 16, 2011
at 12:44 AM

Well, I sure don't blame you for wishing. :-)) Just keep talking about how great you feel.

332d9f75d1077abafff6887681f6b130

(1081)

on December 16, 2011
at 12:29 AM

Agreed, but I want her to go paleo to simplify my cooking/shopping, and to let her enjoy the same benefits that I have.

332d9f75d1077abafff6887681f6b130

(1081)

on December 16, 2011
at 12:27 AM

What was her surgery for? And what meds is she on that you feel caused her condition? I ask because I'm in healthcare and curious. I promise no judgement or ill words will be cast your way.

956bcad1d462d433a4e1e22f6e3355d5

(1191)

on December 12, 2011
at 01:38 PM

'Used to' ain't the same as 'likes'.

828429fe885f42968c0519d5b84cec40

(608)

on December 11, 2011
at 12:19 AM

it kind of sounds like she is jealous of your weight loss but is unwilling to make any effort to lose weight and is instead trying to sabotage you with buying all those "tempting" treats.

828429fe885f42968c0519d5b84cec40

(608)

on December 10, 2011
at 08:59 PM

Can you do most of your lifting on the weekend together? Say Sat all upper body and Sun all lower body? Or something like that? Then maybe once a week you can do another weight sesh?

828429fe885f42968c0519d5b84cec40

(608)

on December 10, 2011
at 08:57 PM

+1 to Dan. Let's not get offended by every little comment eh? He didn't mean any harm and doesn't need a lecture.

828429fe885f42968c0519d5b84cec40

(608)

on December 10, 2011
at 08:33 PM

And as you lose more weight and get buffer, your sex rank will inevitably go up- you will become more attractive to other women. I bet you she will come around if you keep doing your own thing. No woman wants to feel less attractive than her hubby!

828429fe885f42968c0519d5b84cec40

(608)

on December 10, 2011
at 08:31 PM

I agree with this. And in all honesty- and I am saying this as a woman- do not sugar coat it for her. If she needs to lose weight and she is complaining about it perhaps you should be honest. Yes, she does need to lose weight, and no eating ice cream is not the optimal way to lose weight. Or perhaps if she states how much she wants to lose weight, you may say that it seems that in fact she doesn't, as her actions do not reflect her wishes. Yes, it is harsh, but you are doing her no favors telling her how great she looks when she is overweight (if she is).

D5d982a898721d3392c85f951d0bf0aa

(2417)

on December 10, 2011
at 07:23 PM

Not funny, dude. Do the math - you think your fellow paleo hackers don't include survivors of domestic violence? Do you think that there aren't a slew of women who DO actually get knocked around in the name of leadership? I'm in the business of working with these gals. This is real, concrete and present in your everyday life. Let's not joke about it.

Cf4576cbcc44fc7f2294135609bce9e5

(3125)

on December 10, 2011
at 07:42 AM

your wife probably didnt eat becasue she ate fast food on the way home.

2c037de5930ca8641c52c84e387a270b

(270)

on June 24, 2011
at 07:16 PM

Definitely depends on the relationship! My husband is used to me and my pushy ways. :~)

332d9f75d1077abafff6887681f6b130

(1081)

on June 22, 2011
at 08:26 PM

I feel that throwing away a fridge full of the food she just purchased may let me sleep on the couch for a night or two. On the up side, its WAY darker in the living room than the bedroom (she likes to have light)

332d9f75d1077abafff6887681f6b130

(1081)

on June 22, 2011
at 07:36 PM

I like anything that I can make before hand. How long do they keep for in the freezer? I'd imagine a good while. I may make a couple of batches to keep on hand for late mornings/hunger emergencies

61b801de5dc345b557cd4623d4a4f26b

(2682)

on June 22, 2011
at 06:44 PM

Oops, I skipped a step: After adding your omelet ingredients, pour in whisked egg until the cups are a little over 2/3 full. THEN bake. 8)

61b801de5dc345b557cd4623d4a4f26b

(2682)

on June 22, 2011
at 06:43 PM

As for a quick breakfast, have you tried mini quiches/egg muffins? Use a muffin pan (or silicone cups), fill with whatever you like in an omelet (cooked sausage, cheese, and spinach is yum!), bake @ 350 for ~25 mins (until the eggs are set). Reheat in the microwave ~30 seconds, or freeze and then reheat ~1-2 minutes. About 2 egg muffins make a nice breakfast for me, but eat however many you like. 8)

61b801de5dc345b557cd4623d4a4f26b

(2682)

on June 22, 2011
at 06:40 PM

If someone had told me about the paleo diet, I'm pretty sure I would've thought they were crazy. But I did my own research and have realized that it makes sense.

61b801de5dc345b557cd4623d4a4f26b

(2682)

on June 22, 2011
at 06:34 PM

That's my husband's current response: if I agree to prep all his meals (I do dinner, but lunch is usually eaten out) and police what he eats and only use foods that he already knows and likes, then *maybe* he can follow my "diet." Bah!

61b801de5dc345b557cd4623d4a4f26b

(2682)

on June 22, 2011
at 06:32 PM

"Call it a friggin' day." I hear ya! 8)

61b801de5dc345b557cd4623d4a4f26b

(2682)

on June 22, 2011
at 06:27 PM

I like your "expectation." Since I am the main cook, that is mostly how things happen at my house. Of course, if my hubby remembers this before dinner, he makes sure to ask me to cook something (rice, potatoes, etc.) that isn't necessarily paleo. Sometimes I concede, sometimes I don't. It's a give and take.

61b801de5dc345b557cd4623d4a4f26b

(2682)

on June 22, 2011
at 06:23 PM

I really like the idea of trading challenges to make each other happy. I may try this one with my hubby!

61b801de5dc345b557cd4623d4a4f26b

(2682)

on June 22, 2011
at 06:22 PM

I would be completely annoyed if my husband logged into my fb and "liked" a bunch of sites...but perhaps it depends on the relationship on how a person would react to that. 8)

61b801de5dc345b557cd4623d4a4f26b

(2682)

on June 22, 2011
at 06:21 PM

Us children of divorce have to laugh at this stuff...else we're in therapy or jail...8)

332d9f75d1077abafff6887681f6b130

(1081)

on June 22, 2011
at 06:06 PM

We've done that. Twice. I stuck it out the first time, and she made it almost 2 weeks, with several "cheats" in there. I just can't figure out why she refuses to give it a try. In fact, every female I've told about the diet (after they asked what I was doing to lose weight) has either said the diet sounds unhealthy and can't be the cause, or they say that it sounds great but they refuse to try it themselves. I don't get it.

0a46a71bd3dca60276717f099b350132

(250)

on June 22, 2011
at 04:55 PM

I was extremely reticent to go Paleo when my fiance suggested it. We set a fixed date as to when we were going to start doing it "hardcore"; he weaned himself onto the diet slowly before that, and I had my last few carb-laden hurrahs before the big day. I think the best thing to do is to set a date (like quitting smoking) and stick to it, and then just go all-out and most importantly, do it together. Yes, I'm jealous that he's lost 30 lbs more than me in the same timeframe, but so far my own results (-20 lbs) have been worth it. Hopefully she'll feel and see the same. Good luck!

E7a462d6e99fec7e8f0ddda11b34a770

(1638)

on June 22, 2011
at 04:27 PM

Tom, How about good sliced deli roast beef (like Boar's Head which is gluten-free and basically unadulterated) with a little mustard wrapped around a piece of cheese and/or asparagus spear? Or maybe folded around sliced hard-boiled eggs? Good, fast and portable!

Fe29f6658ce67c1ecc4a22e960be7498

(2997)

on June 12, 2011
at 04:58 AM

I gotta agree with the principle - but us guys are absolute zombie morons when it comes to potential "hot monkey sex" sessions. We'd convert to Mormonism, buy encyclopedias, change the baby, switch to Paleo - anything - if that was the reward. You gals are more ... subtle, and we need the skill of a ninja and the patience of a Spinx to even *contemplate* "converting" you to anything!

Fe29f6658ce67c1ecc4a22e960be7498

(2997)

on June 12, 2011
at 04:47 AM

It doesn't sound stupid at all! I've even said similar things already. And she's seen me make kefir and eat fat etc. And she's at least tried (and rejected) my offerings and I totally leave it alone; at least she's *seen* me eat this way - it's in there somewhere and will be available when she's ready. Nancy, the other day I was frying up my liver & eggs, and my wife said "you know, that actually smells good!" I'm not holding my breath, but at least it's progress!

6371f0ae0c075ded1b8cd30aafd4bf16

on June 12, 2011
at 02:12 AM

Traditional paleo approach would be to club her into it. Haha.

Medium avatar

(5639)

on June 12, 2011
at 02:04 AM

People think it's their choice to eat the way they do, and then when you pull back the curtain and show them the great and powerful Oz pulling their strings with ads, MSG, carb addiction and misinformation, they can't reconcile it with their "free will."

7e746be2f0e550a8cd7df881322ae705

(18701)

on June 11, 2011
at 01:58 PM

Cook dinner more is an awesome suggestion!

66974b2cb291799dcd661b7dec99a9e2

(11121)

on June 11, 2011
at 04:34 AM

"Okay I know thats wrong but thats how I am" he he he. People are not just 'some way' - every human being chooses how we react to any circumstance.

D5096ff5baffc0ba5d20b21346414a7a

(1112)

on June 11, 2011
at 03:10 AM

I wouldn't try to win the wife over with the kidneys and liver...My husband has made giant strides, but I don't think I can ever get him to try liver. At least he doesn't evacuate the house when I fix my yummy liver, bacon, and onions.

1568416ef28477d1fa29046218d83ddd

(6235)

on June 11, 2011
at 03:07 AM

I don’t know how old you daughter is, but you might consider telling her not to eat your food. I know that sounds stupid, but "this grass fed beef is an special treat for me because I made the commitment to eat a specific way, you haven't. One day you will decide how you want to eat but until then this sort of treat would probably be wasted on you, it is for mindful eaters" might actually work a lot better if she is a tween or so.

Medium avatar

(19479)

on June 11, 2011
at 01:27 AM

My wife is like a freakin Jedi master! She knows if I am trying to influence her eating habits, no matter how subtly, and does not like it one bit. The best strategy, and the one that has been the most challenging for me until recently, is to simply let her be and do my thing. When I don't try to influence her, she starts to ask questions, and I can see that the wheels start turning in light of my abundant energy, inability to get sick, effortless weight maintenance, etc.

Medium avatar

(19479)

on June 11, 2011
at 01:23 AM

Lol @ "cook dinner more." That has been my strategy, but applied to breakfast (green smoothies, eggs & meat, etc.), lunch (roast beef lettuce wraps, cut up veggies and almond butter), and snacks (high quality jerky, hard boiled eggs, etc.) as well! My wife still loves her some Papa John's Pizza, bagels, Pringles, etc., but my consistent Paleo-ness has been sneaking in more and more :

Medium avatar

(19479)

on June 11, 2011
at 01:22 AM

Lol @ "cook dinner more." That has been my strategy, but applied to breakfast (green smoothies, eggs & meat, etc.), lunch (roast beef lettuce wraps, cut up veggies and almond butter), and snacks (high quality jerky, hard boiled eggs, etc.) as well! My wife still lover her some Papa John's Pizza, bagels, Pringles, etc., but my consistent Paleo-ness has been sneaking in more and more :)

Fe29f6658ce67c1ecc4a22e960be7498

(2997)

on June 11, 2011
at 12:47 AM

Well I laughed, even though it wasn't funny at all :-)

Fe29f6658ce67c1ecc4a22e960be7498

(2997)

on June 11, 2011
at 12:44 AM

n. I'm going to browse the answers carefully for ideas too!

Fe29f6658ce67c1ecc4a22e960be7498

(2997)

on June 11, 2011
at 12:41 AM

I'm sorry - are you me?? I'm not in Texas, but... All I can say is I do what many husbands do: I sneak. I sneak in the grassfed burger and keep it at the back of the fridge along with the pastured eggs and organ meat. I make my own kefir and sauerkraut in spite of her certainty it's going to kill me. And she thinks I look great now (30+ lbs lighter) but is sure that "all that saturated fat" MUST be bad for me. Then she complains about her own carb eating and how bad she feels, but has no curiosity about what I'm actually doing right or why it makes sense. And I've only 20 chars left to complai

559aa134ff5e6c8bcd608ba8dc505628

(3631)

on June 11, 2011
at 12:25 AM

@Tom - I'm sorry but i don't get the part where she doesn't know which foods are paleo. (?) As I understand it, only real, actual food is paleo. Eat food, no grains, cut sugar, and for many people, no legumes or dairy either. What's not to understand? If she's gonna keep trying to eat stuff that comes in boxes, it's probably not going to work.

Medium avatar

(5136)

on June 10, 2011
at 11:34 PM

you could also hang this up on the fridge http://robbwolf.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/thePaleoSolution_FoodMatrix.pdf

Medium avatar

(5136)

on June 10, 2011
at 11:29 PM

I like this answer too. It's fair to ask your spouse to support you in your choices, especially when those choices are intended to improve your health.

Medium avatar

(5136)

on June 10, 2011
at 11:24 PM

good to hear your girl is doing well, I was wondering if she figured things out after her somewhat frustrated post before.

Medium avatar

(5639)

on June 10, 2011
at 10:30 PM

It's so hard looking from the other side of the glass, like "Geeez...it's not that difficult over here!" People are so stubborn, but the main thing is FEAR. Fear of giving up things they've grown accustomed to.

1568416ef28477d1fa29046218d83ddd

(6235)

on June 10, 2011
at 09:28 PM

Thanks grenadine, there are things I expect to get some down votes on. But I didn't expect two on this one! Acceptance is really important to me in a relationship, if I don’t feel accepted I don’t really feel loved. I might be a little more extreme, but I don’t think I am unusual in that. :)

98bf2ca7f8778c79cd3f6c962011cfdc

(24286)

on June 10, 2011
at 09:12 PM

Some people are so easily offended, lol. I think your post makes perfect sense and I agree 100%.

559aa134ff5e6c8bcd608ba8dc505628

(3631)

on June 10, 2011
at 09:08 PM

I think this is a wonderful answer, vrimj. Framing it in way such that one is asking for support, rather than asking the other to change, seems so much better than using mainpulative tactics like the FB idea, or turning into the PaleoPolice, which seems like it would just cause more resistance. I would definitely rebel against anybody trying to overtly influence my eating habits, even if i agreed with them. but maybe that's just me.

Medium avatar

(5639)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:54 PM

I was totally going to suggest Paleo Solution. Very convincing read.

Medium avatar

(5639)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:54 PM

(And I'm a child of divorce!)

Medium avatar

(5639)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:53 PM

I upvoted you. I think if you can't laugh at that, maybe there's some deeper (marital??) problems in your life!

Medium avatar

(5639)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:52 PM

sounds like you've got a tough case on your hands Tom. Really you gotta break it down, is she happy being the way she is? Or not? If she answers not, then she has to come terms with the fact that some choices she needs to make are not as easy as the coasting she's doing right now. The only scary oart (and I had this too) is that first step. Once the decision is made, it has to be a concrete step down the right path, mentally and physically.

1568416ef28477d1fa29046218d83ddd

(6235)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:44 PM

I wonder what offended people?

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:28 PM

If it made you laugh n eased a lil stress, thats all I care about. Most of the people who down-vote me anyway are what I now refer to as "Paleo-lite".

332d9f75d1077abafff6887681f6b130

(1081)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:27 PM

I like your style! I'm gunna go Facebooking on her account...

332d9f75d1077abafff6887681f6b130

(1081)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:23 PM

I LOL'd. But I can see the down votes too... not exactly a helpful response...

332d9f75d1077abafff6887681f6b130

(1081)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:22 PM

Our work schedules keep us from being able to go to the gym together most days, and she is horrible about working out alone, especially doing weights. It sucks, because she says she loves how she feels after I goad her into lifting with me.

332d9f75d1077abafff6887681f6b130

(1081)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:21 PM

If I could just get her to educate herself about what food is paleo and what isn’t, I think I’d have her half way there. Like I said, she tried it once but if I wasn’t there to hold her hand she’d get lost and opt for pizza.

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:21 PM

LOL you gentle paleos have no sense of humor.

8b982d4beccca9fcb85affe8d4bd4ff2

(1585)

on June 10, 2011
at 07:58 PM

If they can find a way to get your wife I wanna know too! My husband and kids are tough eggs to crack.

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34 Answers

best answer

8
E2456a3b347d37b526a6b8293faae77b

on June 10, 2011
at 08:54 PM

I would assume that seeing you lose weight while on paleo would motivate her to try paleo out, if not for health, than for the sheer purpose of dropping a few of pounds.

4 suggestions:

1) Let her see this: http://infographic.paleolithicdiet.com/ I think it's a very clear description in a few words and lots of pictures on how we got fat and what paleo is all about. YouTube also has some paleo 101 videos that break things down nicely.

2) Send her to http://www.marksdailyapple.com/. Mark's site is a great introduction to going paleo/primal. All her questions on paleo 101, why grain is bad, why meat and fat are good are answered in a very easy to understand kind of way. Marks's wife Carrie also chimes in from time to time to tell us ladies about cellulite, menopause and other woman specific issues. Actually, send her this link: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/cardio-queen-gone-primal/ That girl's transformation made me say "God damn!! Sign me up, playa!"

3) If she's worried about her sweet tooth, tell her that she can still have desserts while on paleo. I've discovered a whole new world in grain-free baking. I mean, who can say no to these (use almond butter instead of PB, of course)? http://balancedbites.com/2010/12/easy-recipe-grain-free-magic-cookie-bars.html Don't go overboard on the paleo baked goods though - excess honey, coconut and nuts do not a skinny girl make. ;)

4) Chronic cardio is the worse thing to do to lose weight! Been there, done that and I've seen the results - no movement on the scale. Tell her work out fast and hard instead. Lifting weights and sprinting should take no longer than 1 hr at the gym. This leaves more time for hugz and cuddlez for the paleo couple.
* cue the baby making music *

25
D5096ff5baffc0ba5d20b21346414a7a

(1112)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:01 PM

Sorry, but about all you can do is just quietly do your own paleo thing. Don't nag or try to explain anything. Also even if asked, give short answers. You can not get someone else to buy into this. Even if she says she wants to do it, she will have to own it. Otherwise, you will have to be the Paleo Police. "Can I eat this?" "Well, what about this?" "Why not? Her eating is not your responsibility no matter how much you want it for her. But, the fact that you are willing to cook and she likes what you fix is a real positive. Maybe after awhile she will follow a few steps at a time.

828429fe885f42968c0519d5b84cec40

(608)

on December 10, 2011
at 08:31 PM

I agree with this. And in all honesty- and I am saying this as a woman- do not sugar coat it for her. If she needs to lose weight and she is complaining about it perhaps you should be honest. Yes, she does need to lose weight, and no eating ice cream is not the optimal way to lose weight. Or perhaps if she states how much she wants to lose weight, you may say that it seems that in fact she doesn't, as her actions do not reflect her wishes. Yes, it is harsh, but you are doing her no favors telling her how great she looks when she is overweight (if she is).

828429fe885f42968c0519d5b84cec40

(608)

on December 10, 2011
at 08:33 PM

And as you lose more weight and get buffer, your sex rank will inevitably go up- you will become more attractive to other women. I bet you she will come around if you keep doing your own thing. No woman wants to feel less attractive than her hubby!

14
1568416ef28477d1fa29046218d83ddd

(6235)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:21 PM

I would suggest you say something like

"I love you and support you living the way you want, I am not trying to change anything about you, but I do ask that you learn some basics about this so you can be my support system in this as you are in so much else"

Than if she agrees give her some really basic stuff and a link to a happy family centered paleo site.

In six months if she isn't interested on her own (yea six months, really) you can suggest you each take on a month long challenge, you can challenge her to be Paleo for January and she can challenge you to make a change she really wants.

1568416ef28477d1fa29046218d83ddd

(6235)

on June 10, 2011
at 09:28 PM

Thanks grenadine, there are things I expect to get some down votes on. But I didn't expect two on this one! Acceptance is really important to me in a relationship, if I don’t feel accepted I don’t really feel loved. I might be a little more extreme, but I don’t think I am unusual in that. :)

98bf2ca7f8778c79cd3f6c962011cfdc

(24286)

on June 10, 2011
at 09:12 PM

Some people are so easily offended, lol. I think your post makes perfect sense and I agree 100%.

Medium avatar

(5136)

on June 10, 2011
at 11:29 PM

I like this answer too. It's fair to ask your spouse to support you in your choices, especially when those choices are intended to improve your health.

Medium avatar

(5136)

on June 10, 2011
at 11:34 PM

you could also hang this up on the fridge http://robbwolf.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/thePaleoSolution_FoodMatrix.pdf

559aa134ff5e6c8bcd608ba8dc505628

(3631)

on June 10, 2011
at 09:08 PM

I think this is a wonderful answer, vrimj. Framing it in way such that one is asking for support, rather than asking the other to change, seems so much better than using mainpulative tactics like the FB idea, or turning into the PaleoPolice, which seems like it would just cause more resistance. I would definitely rebel against anybody trying to overtly influence my eating habits, even if i agreed with them. but maybe that's just me.

1568416ef28477d1fa29046218d83ddd

(6235)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:44 PM

I wonder what offended people?

61b801de5dc345b557cd4623d4a4f26b

(2682)

on June 22, 2011
at 06:23 PM

I really like the idea of trading challenges to make each other happy. I may try this one with my hubby!

8
158607a060b81a15914ea262e9edac1f

on June 10, 2011
at 08:32 PM

I was "your wife" not too long ago. Haha What I mean to say is that my husband was the one doing paleo on and off several times. I would jealously watch him drop weight, feel incredible and all of the great things that go along with the paleo stye. I have never been the "try all the diets person" but did find great success with weight watchers. So while the DH was eating paleo I was trying my weight watcher style. Meanwhile dinnertime was a disaster for us both b/c he was wanting one thing and I was wanting the other. We are both Crossfitters and so, of course, I hear about paleo nearly daily. For me, my husband was NEVER pushy or anything and I think that was the biggest. I saw his success and the success of others I know who have done paleo. I'm the type that if my DH had been pushy or anything even remotely close it would have made me even more anti-paleo. Having said all of that, I'm going into my 3rd week of paleo and had gotten up to 10.4 pounds lost (then had a birthday cheat meal which was a mess). So I'm now at 8.8 pounds lost. So my advice, just keep hanging in there and being a positive, patient role model. My last suggestion (which is NOT a good one, I know, so don't judge me! haha) is cook dinner more. If she likes your paleo cooking then do more of it and she's then eating paleo more and not even necessarily knowing it. :) Good luck!

7e746be2f0e550a8cd7df881322ae705

(18701)

on June 11, 2011
at 01:58 PM

Cook dinner more is an awesome suggestion!

Medium avatar

(19479)

on June 11, 2011
at 01:22 AM

Lol @ "cook dinner more." That has been my strategy, but applied to breakfast (green smoothies, eggs & meat, etc.), lunch (roast beef lettuce wraps, cut up veggies and almond butter), and snacks (high quality jerky, hard boiled eggs, etc.) as well! My wife still lover her some Papa John's Pizza, bagels, Pringles, etc., but my consistent Paleo-ness has been sneaking in more and more :)

Medium avatar

(19479)

on June 11, 2011
at 01:23 AM

Lol @ "cook dinner more." That has been my strategy, but applied to breakfast (green smoothies, eggs & meat, etc.), lunch (roast beef lettuce wraps, cut up veggies and almond butter), and snacks (high quality jerky, hard boiled eggs, etc.) as well! My wife still loves her some Papa John's Pizza, bagels, Pringles, etc., but my consistent Paleo-ness has been sneaking in more and more :

8
03281912f1cb9e4e771a8a83af302e3a

(1204)

on June 10, 2011
at 07:59 PM

Be polite, and lead by example. SHe doesn't want to be persuaded to "go Paleo" but I'm sure if you get to realize it's her Idea, then she'll jump on wholeheartedly.

After you lose a large measure of weight, feel better, and have leagues of energy everyday, she will follow your example. Don't push it on her forcefully. No one likes being told they are wrong - especially if they are.

5
Medium avatar

on June 10, 2011
at 08:00 PM

I'd recommend that you start out with high carb for a while with plenty of tubers and rice, and focus on eliminating one thing at a time, like first sweetened things, then wheat etc.

If she wants to lose fat, get her to start lifting weights and walking a lot. Design a program where she does 1 set to failure of everything 2x a week. It actually works and it's minimally tedious.

332d9f75d1077abafff6887681f6b130

(1081)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:22 PM

Our work schedules keep us from being able to go to the gym together most days, and she is horrible about working out alone, especially doing weights. It sucks, because she says she loves how she feels after I goad her into lifting with me.

828429fe885f42968c0519d5b84cec40

(608)

on December 10, 2011
at 08:59 PM

Can you do most of your lifting on the weekend together? Say Sat all upper body and Sun all lower body? Or something like that? Then maybe once a week you can do another weight sesh?

4
1da74185531d6d4c7182fb9ee417f97f

on June 10, 2011
at 10:21 PM

Have you considered getting her to do Atkins at least? Ive found that to be the transition point for my husband. He's totally skeptical about wheat/dairy intolerance but he's totally accepting of bacon and eggs for breakfast every morning and the fact that going carbless is a good weight loss plan. YES he still drinks diet coke, No, he wouldn't touch a head of Kale or Broccoli Rabe with a ten foot pole but at least we have a lot of common ground now. I may eat coconut products and fish during the day but we can both agree on some sauteed spinach and grassfed steak for dinner. He still eats some gross stuff and doesn't seem concerned about PUFA's and doesn't scour the ingredients when he goes to restaurants like I do but he's fine with turning his sandwiches from the italian deli in to salads and ordering bunless burgers from McDonalds.

I doubt I'll ever get him to go 90-100% paleo but ate least with him doing Atkins we can agree on things and he can get his sugar free jello (yes I know it's gross) and not whine about me controlling him. He's losing weight too. I'd love to see him eat clean but just cutting the bread and sugar has been such a big change for him that I'm not pushing it.

I just give him fish pills, Vitamin D supplements, and Magnesium to make up where he's probably missing out and call it a friggin day.

Medium avatar

(5639)

on June 10, 2011
at 10:30 PM

It's so hard looking from the other side of the glass, like "Geeez...it's not that difficult over here!" People are so stubborn, but the main thing is FEAR. Fear of giving up things they've grown accustomed to.

61b801de5dc345b557cd4623d4a4f26b

(2682)

on June 22, 2011
at 06:32 PM

"Call it a friggin' day." I hear ya! 8)

4debe57f81d507bcb844f10b2ef38a83

(398)

on February 10, 2013
at 10:53 PM

Another option, along these lines, would be asking her to consider going WAPF. It eliminates the junk and prepares grains to optimize nutrition and minimize damage. It's also a lot more work than paleo, because of having to prep grains, but it's a huge improvement over SAD.

3
96bf58d8c6bd492dc5b8ae46203fe247

(37227)

on December 10, 2011
at 08:54 PM

What if your wife had gone paleo and you were not? Should you be changing now even though it doesn't appeal to you? If she went vegan, would you be obligated to follow?

Marrying a person doesn't give you the right to make their choices for them--that's for parents of young children. Areas of change occur in one or both over time, sometimes in agreement and sometimes in opposite directions.

Why strain such an important relationship by trying to prove to each other that you're right? Better to congratulate each other on any health gains and look for areas of agreement and compromise.

96bf58d8c6bd492dc5b8ae46203fe247

(37227)

on December 16, 2011
at 12:44 AM

Well, I sure don't blame you for wishing. :-)) Just keep talking about how great you feel.

332d9f75d1077abafff6887681f6b130

(1081)

on December 16, 2011
at 12:29 AM

Agreed, but I want her to go paleo to simplify my cooking/shopping, and to let her enjoy the same benefits that I have.

3
1f8384be58052b6b96f476e475abdc74

(2231)

on June 12, 2011
at 01:49 AM

well if it was me and wanting to convert my hubby...

  1. grill him a grokified rib eye with a bangin ass salad

  2. leave the dirty dishes and have a grokified hot monkey sex session

if this does not convert her... then leave her the h3ll alone. IMO, your job as a husband is to love your wife unconditionally and not diet her or even mention her body/weight/past diets

Fe29f6658ce67c1ecc4a22e960be7498

(2997)

on June 12, 2011
at 04:58 AM

I gotta agree with the principle - but us guys are absolute zombie morons when it comes to potential "hot monkey sex" sessions. We'd convert to Mormonism, buy encyclopedias, change the baby, switch to Paleo - anything - if that was the reward. You gals are more ... subtle, and we need the skill of a ninja and the patience of a Spinx to even *contemplate* "converting" you to anything!

3
2c037de5930ca8641c52c84e387a270b

(270)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:15 PM

Does she read? I was totally won over by Robb Wolf's Paleo Solution. My husband isn't a reader and I am trying to get him to go Paleo with me and the kids (he is Paleo at home but I am sure he isn't when he eats out for lunch, etc.) so I signed into his Facebook acct. and "liked" a whole bunch of different Paleo FB sites so they would appear in his feed and he would get the jist that way (heehee). Do you spend a lot of time in the car together? I always read to my husband on long trips and that is a good way too - captive audience and all. ;~) If she would read Paleo Solution, Primal Blueprint, one of those, I think she would be a believer... Good luck!

332d9f75d1077abafff6887681f6b130

(1081)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:27 PM

I like your style! I'm gunna go Facebooking on her account...

Medium avatar

(5639)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:54 PM

I was totally going to suggest Paleo Solution. Very convincing read.

61b801de5dc345b557cd4623d4a4f26b

(2682)

on June 22, 2011
at 06:22 PM

I would be completely annoyed if my husband logged into my fb and "liked" a bunch of sites...but perhaps it depends on the relationship on how a person would react to that. 8)

2c037de5930ca8641c52c84e387a270b

(270)

on June 24, 2011
at 07:16 PM

Definitely depends on the relationship! My husband is used to me and my pushy ways. :~)

956bcad1d462d433a4e1e22f6e3355d5

(1191)

on December 12, 2011
at 01:38 PM

'Used to' ain't the same as 'likes'.

3
77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:04 PM

Put the business card of a divorce lawyer on the fridge.

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:28 PM

If it made you laugh n eased a lil stress, thats all I care about. Most of the people who down-vote me anyway are what I now refer to as "Paleo-lite".

Medium avatar

(5639)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:53 PM

I upvoted you. I think if you can't laugh at that, maybe there's some deeper (marital??) problems in your life!

Medium avatar

(5639)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:54 PM

(And I'm a child of divorce!)

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:21 PM

LOL you gentle paleos have no sense of humor.

332d9f75d1077abafff6887681f6b130

(1081)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:23 PM

I LOL'd. But I can see the down votes too... not exactly a helpful response...

Fe29f6658ce67c1ecc4a22e960be7498

(2997)

on June 11, 2011
at 12:47 AM

Well I laughed, even though it wasn't funny at all :-)

61b801de5dc345b557cd4623d4a4f26b

(2682)

on June 22, 2011
at 06:21 PM

Us children of divorce have to laugh at this stuff...else we're in therapy or jail...8)

2
016fbff1380d44389b2c1e5bc54d07f0

(115)

on June 10, 2011
at 09:57 PM

#1 rule is patience.

I had a similar weight loss after 2 months of Paleo-ish, but that wasn't enough to do the trick. I had great strength gains and recomposition the next 2 months, about the time my wife started getting interested, but can't say my results got her started. I just had some proven answers when she had questions.

Bottom line, something has to click inside. Maybe it's catching a bad angle in the mirror, an outfit that doesn't fit, a round number on the scale. Theoretically, it could be due to general health and wellness, but I'm guessing more people respond to vanity... unless there's a really acute health crisis, perhaps.

If/when they're ready, assuming you haven't been nagging and they haven't been tuning you out, now and only now do you have a chance. Not 100% sure on the best starting resource, unfortunately. Wife didn't respond to Primal Blueprint the way I did, but hasn't let that get in the way of learning and making gradual changes. Although one of her friends read PB and they've discussed it so that helps. I think (fingers crossed) we're at the point where the benefits she's experienced will keep things going in the right direction.

No expert, n=1, but if I had to summarize:

  1. be patient
  2. don't just be a good example, be a night-and-day example
  3. be a good "info ruminant" for if/when they are ready
  4. don't bring Paleo up at the first opportunity, wait for one with the most potential
  5. help to make the initial experience have a high payoff relative to things lost

2
8515be19faab037d37a788633e32b9f1

(290)

on June 10, 2011
at 09:48 PM

I am rebellious and when my husband gets on me about my weight or lack of exercising I tend to rebel and purposely not do it. Okay I know thats wrong but thats how I am. Eventually he sees what I am doing stays quiet and leads by example. I finally came around a little over a month ago and fell in love with eating Paleo. The thing is my hubby doesnt eat Paleo he just wanted me to eat "healthy" and stay active. Now he is jumping on the band wagon!

66974b2cb291799dcd661b7dec99a9e2

(11121)

on June 11, 2011
at 04:34 AM

"Okay I know thats wrong but thats how I am" he he he. People are not just 'some way' - every human being chooses how we react to any circumstance.

2
0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:33 PM

I think all that you can do is put energy into things that are within your sphere of control. Otherwise you are going to be endlessly frustrated and angry.

I get it. Many of my "mom friends" (really play date acquaintances) are on SLimfast, Biggest Loser competition type diets. No one has transformed their bodies and health because these strategies are so clearly temporary. You are asking her to change something about herself that she does several times a day - for LIFE. That can be scary.

I approach it like this in my household - expectation. I don't discuss it. I don't fight about it. I just expect we are going to eat this way. It works like 93% of the time. Oh, and my cortisol is at a much healthier level.

Also, have you listened to Robb Wolf's podcast? He tackles this type of question quite a bit. here, just search around. I'm sure you'll find something useful.

61b801de5dc345b557cd4623d4a4f26b

(2682)

on June 22, 2011
at 06:27 PM

I like your "expectation." Since I am the main cook, that is mostly how things happen at my house. Of course, if my hubby remembers this before dinner, he makes sure to ask me to cook something (rice, potatoes, etc.) that isn't necessarily paleo. Sometimes I concede, sometimes I don't. It's a give and take.

2
Medium avatar

on June 10, 2011
at 07:59 PM

Keep trying, but don't tell her what to do. You have to SHOW her.

My girlfriend didn't want to try it at first, now she's a Paleo Evangelist when she's with her friends.

She's been eating a somewhat strict Paleo diet (We still eat some dairy like raw cheeses, pastured butter, unsweetened yogurt and kefir...sometimes we add honey or chocolate) for about 2 months now. I've been eating a little stricter for about 4-5 months. We've both lost weight, feel more energetic and happy, sleep better, etc... But progress can be slow. After the initial bump in fat-loss (or water-weight, whatever it is, it's gone) progress has definitely slowed. I've leveled off mostly in my weight loss, but my body composition is changing before my eyes. So is hers.

Medium avatar

(5136)

on June 10, 2011
at 11:24 PM

good to hear your girl is doing well, I was wondering if she figured things out after her somewhat frustrated post before.

559aa134ff5e6c8bcd608ba8dc505628

(3631)

on June 11, 2011
at 12:25 AM

@Tom - I'm sorry but i don't get the part where she doesn't know which foods are paleo. (?) As I understand it, only real, actual food is paleo. Eat food, no grains, cut sugar, and for many people, no legumes or dairy either. What's not to understand? If she's gonna keep trying to eat stuff that comes in boxes, it's probably not going to work.

Medium avatar

(5639)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:52 PM

sounds like you've got a tough case on your hands Tom. Really you gotta break it down, is she happy being the way she is? Or not? If she answers not, then she has to come terms with the fact that some choices she needs to make are not as easy as the coasting she's doing right now. The only scary oart (and I had this too) is that first step. Once the decision is made, it has to be a concrete step down the right path, mentally and physically.

332d9f75d1077abafff6887681f6b130

(1081)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:21 PM

If I could just get her to educate herself about what food is paleo and what isn’t, I think I’d have her half way there. Like I said, she tried it once but if I wasn’t there to hold her hand she’d get lost and opt for pizza.

1
96440612cf0fcf366bf5ad8f776fca84

(19463)

on December 11, 2011
at 07:16 PM

Sorry bro, best I can offer is that you don't have it quite as bad as you think.

Mine's the exact opposite, she's skinny and she started complaining that I'm starving her and the kids because I don't buy bread, bagels, pastries, chips, pasta, or other pre-made crap in a box/bag.

Never mind that I make them breakfast and lunch for her and my oldest kid every day, and there's plenty of carbs in the house in the form of fruits, sweet potatoes, good chocolate, and even white rice.

But, no, if she doesn't have a bagel or force oatmeal on the kids every other day, the universe will implode, or something. She's even claiming that foods cooked in ghee smell bad to her. Sigh...

I think she'd be motivated if she were actually overweight, but she's super skinny.

She hasn't learned the lesson of what tons of grains can do, not even from her own mom who recently became a full blown type 2 diabetic. Mom followed the SAD doctors orders to a T and took whatever meds that destroyed her heart, and caused her osteoporosis and even had to have heart surgery!

I made a care package for her mom a few months ago, before the heart surgery, which might have been avoided. Stuff like Ubiquinol, Magnesium, Potassium, Selenium, R-Lipoic Acid, K2 and other heart friendly vitamins and supplements, but Mom never touched it for fear it would interfere with her meds - the same meds that caused her problems. Instead she stuck with what the doctors told her and wound up needing heart surgery, and more recently knee surgery for her arthritis. (She was walking around just fine last year.)

Never mind that I showed the wife loads of articles pointing to grains as a cause for all of her mom's troubles.

The last time were were out to dinner for one of my son's birthday, mom ate bread with veggies, and no meat. Normally she'd be eating noodles and rice and bread and stuff like that. So mom is hopeless and it looks like my wife is on the same path. :( Wife thinks she's safe because she runs a few miles a day. Yes, I told her about chronic cardio, but she's an addict.

Even worse, I'm trying to keep my kids clean, but she spoils them with crap like donuts and pizza and even went as far as to buy breaded chicken in a bag full made with soy oil. This is even though I make them a coconut flower version organic chicken nuggets in palm oil. I even found receipts from places like Burger King in her car. So she's actively sabotaging what I want for our kids!

Mind you I send her loads of articles on paleo, showed her several books which she refuses to eat. The most I was able to get her to do is to read Chris Kresser's 9 Steps to Perfect Health articles which I had to print and bind for her before she'd touch them.

The most she got out of those is to tell me "Oh, he said you shouldn't eat chicken skin, why did you?" Yeah, ok, I do eat some chicken skin when it's roasted, and I admitted that it's full of n6 PUFAs, but that I eat so much healthier that it won't matter much. But no, she still eats crap in a box, and still feeds the kids the same when I'm not around. It's as if she read those articles just to find some flaw so as to not follow it.

So yeah, I guess I have to plan for not having her around for very long, and a lot of damage repair to the kids' health when they're old enough to understand why I eat the way I do and why they should too. :(

332d9f75d1077abafff6887681f6b130

(1081)

on December 16, 2011
at 12:27 AM

What was her surgery for? And what meds is she on that you feel caused her condition? I ask because I'm in healthcare and curious. I promise no judgement or ill words will be cast your way.

96440612cf0fcf366bf5ad8f776fca84

(19463)

on December 16, 2011
at 09:50 PM

I suspect is was stents since the wife says they removed some blockage. Might have been a bypass, not sure. Wish I knew. Wife doesn't give me too many details -probably just doesn't know, and mom doesn't speak English, so between the two, it's hard to gather proper info. I know she had diabetes and was taking something for it, that raised her blood pressure and also caused heart issues, and she's got osteoporosis and/or arthritis now, then had the heart operation + another for her knee.

1
332d9f75d1077abafff6887681f6b130

on June 23, 2011
at 02:22 PM

Its getting worse. Last night baked half of a chicken in some butter and herbs (It smelled and tasted GREAT!!) and cooked up some squash to go with it. My wife came home and said she wasn't going to eat any because it was "too late in the day and eating after 8 makes you gain weight." This was at about 8:15. So she sat with me on the patio while I enjoyed my meal outside (The upside: Leftovers for lunch today!)

Our conversation eventually turned to the fat in the meat. I was chewing a chunk of it and she told me to give it to the dog. I refused, pointing out that he's not worthy. She then told me that "eating fat makes you fat and raises your cholesterol." When I tried to refute her claims, she started arguing that I never listen to her and she's a nurse and she knows this stuff. So I let it go. But her next comment I can not let go... she told me she is going to go vegetarian.

Not only do I generally disagree with vegetarianism in principal, but its going to be nearly impossible to meal plan / eat together if I'm eating mostly meat & fat, and she's eating only plants. Its so frustrating! She's seen me melt away 15 lbs, lower my blood pressure, and lower my cholesterol over the last 3 months, but still refuses to TRY to eat like me! And now she wants to do something that I KNOW will not only not work for weight loss, but will be unhealthy for her to boot!

Can anyone point me at any research about why vegetarianism is less good than paleo? I know there are a couple studies about having fat in the diet helping with weight loss, and some about the dangers of soy, but I don't know where to find them. Can any of yall point me in the right direction? I need to save the woman I love!

828429fe885f42968c0519d5b84cec40

(608)

on December 11, 2011
at 12:19 AM

it kind of sounds like she is jealous of your weight loss but is unwilling to make any effort to lose weight and is instead trying to sabotage you with buying all those "tempting" treats.

Cf4576cbcc44fc7f2294135609bce9e5

(3125)

on December 10, 2011
at 07:42 AM

your wife probably didnt eat becasue she ate fast food on the way home.

1
332d9f75d1077abafff6887681f6b130

on June 22, 2011
at 04:02 PM

-= Update: 6/22/11 =-

Well, I've gotten her to the point that she almost daily declares that she's going to start eating like me, but first I'm going to (insert some weird goal to forego the start of going paleo) first. She acknowledges that I look better, seem happier, have a better mood, and generally just seem ???better??? than I did 3 months ago. But I still can???t get her to take that first step and just do it.

What???s more, she is filling up the fridge / freezer with all kinds of crap food that I won???t eat and keeps offering it to me ??? as if to test my resolve. Guess she hasn???t figured out that I have an iron will, and an little warm spot in my heart for all that paleo has done for me.

She eats paleo at least 1 meal per day (dinner) about 5 times a week. If I could get her to take the dog out in the morning I could squeeze breakfast in there as well I think. Alternatively (and perhaps more realistically) any ideas for a quick breakfast I could make for her that would be at least somewhat portable? I can cut the dog walk down by a few min and buy maybe 10 min to make it in the morning before I risk being late to work. I???ve tried bacon and eggs, but I just run out of time too often, and if she sleeps in she doesn???t leave enough time to eat before she has to leave.

Any suggestions? Am I trying to work too hard at getting her on board? Am I just crazy?

E7a462d6e99fec7e8f0ddda11b34a770

(1638)

on June 22, 2011
at 04:27 PM

Tom, How about good sliced deli roast beef (like Boar's Head which is gluten-free and basically unadulterated) with a little mustard wrapped around a piece of cheese and/or asparagus spear? Or maybe folded around sliced hard-boiled eggs? Good, fast and portable!

332d9f75d1077abafff6887681f6b130

(1081)

on June 22, 2011
at 06:06 PM

We've done that. Twice. I stuck it out the first time, and she made it almost 2 weeks, with several "cheats" in there. I just can't figure out why she refuses to give it a try. In fact, every female I've told about the diet (after they asked what I was doing to lose weight) has either said the diet sounds unhealthy and can't be the cause, or they say that it sounds great but they refuse to try it themselves. I don't get it.

61b801de5dc345b557cd4623d4a4f26b

(2682)

on June 22, 2011
at 06:40 PM

If someone had told me about the paleo diet, I'm pretty sure I would've thought they were crazy. But I did my own research and have realized that it makes sense.

332d9f75d1077abafff6887681f6b130

(1081)

on June 22, 2011
at 07:36 PM

I like anything that I can make before hand. How long do they keep for in the freezer? I'd imagine a good while. I may make a couple of batches to keep on hand for late mornings/hunger emergencies

0a46a71bd3dca60276717f099b350132

(250)

on June 22, 2011
at 04:55 PM

I was extremely reticent to go Paleo when my fiance suggested it. We set a fixed date as to when we were going to start doing it "hardcore"; he weaned himself onto the diet slowly before that, and I had my last few carb-laden hurrahs before the big day. I think the best thing to do is to set a date (like quitting smoking) and stick to it, and then just go all-out and most importantly, do it together. Yes, I'm jealous that he's lost 30 lbs more than me in the same timeframe, but so far my own results (-20 lbs) have been worth it. Hopefully she'll feel and see the same. Good luck!

61b801de5dc345b557cd4623d4a4f26b

(2682)

on June 22, 2011
at 06:44 PM

Oops, I skipped a step: After adding your omelet ingredients, pour in whisked egg until the cups are a little over 2/3 full. THEN bake. 8)

61b801de5dc345b557cd4623d4a4f26b

(2682)

on June 22, 2011
at 06:43 PM

As for a quick breakfast, have you tried mini quiches/egg muffins? Use a muffin pan (or silicone cups), fill with whatever you like in an omelet (cooked sausage, cheese, and spinach is yum!), bake @ 350 for ~25 mins (until the eggs are set). Reheat in the microwave ~30 seconds, or freeze and then reheat ~1-2 minutes. About 2 egg muffins make a nice breakfast for me, but eat however many you like. 8)

1
Medium avatar

(3029)

on June 11, 2011
at 12:31 PM

Things take time to sink in. Sometimes, a lot of time. My friends saw how excited I was by my dietary changes, but didn't change themselves. Now, a year and a half later, all of a sudden this one is off wheat, that one is low carb and reading MDA.... Even my picky daughter is trying new dishes. I've been serving them for a year or two and only now has she worked up the courage to taste them.

Change happens, but not always at the pace we'd like.

And I want to echo others. If you nag, all is lost.

Good luck!

1
B1fcaceba952861d0324bdb291edbbe0

(3159)

on June 11, 2011
at 01:16 AM

You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make them drink.

The more you push someone seemingly set in their ways, the more likely you'll trigger their confirmation bias. They will seek reasons that only bolster their current stance and find ones to tear down yours. Don't push. As many others have said, lead by example, that is the best means of convincing others that this lifestyle works.

Good luck.

1
Fe29f6658ce67c1ecc4a22e960be7498

(2997)

on June 11, 2011
at 01:11 AM

Actually my biggest concern is my young daughter - I've decided my wife is a grown-up and can make her own decisions and if she prefers to just complain so be it, I can't make her be different than she wants to be.

If this sounds cynical, well it's from long experience. People simply don't change anything unless they really want something to be different. And endlessly complaining about the problem is just another way to keep everything the same and change nothing. mmmm I wonder if my complaining counts here... :-)

Anyway, I have to balance what I feed the daughter against willing to fight her and my wife every day (lordy - the family melt-down when I tried brussels sprouts!) So she's mostly SAD with whatever meats and other 'paleo' foods I can sneak in when nobody's looking. But it's tough! I find myself feeding her cereals for breakfast and justifying with "at least it's not the crap I ate". And I divert her focus on candy by giving her 70% chocolate in her school lunch - but at least she's eating fewer of her friends' Twinkies! (actually, she's converted some of her friends to good chocolate!) Of course I could put my foot down and force her - but not without my wife's support and that's just not there. And not without some way of controlling her foods when I'm not around - I don't want to turn 'Paleo' into an opportunity for her to hide from me.

So, sorry not much help with the wife. But maybe some of my sneaky efforts with the daughter can apply? Get her addicted to good chocolate? Take her to a nice restaurant (wives really like that) with really good grass-fed meats (and don't talk about it too much!)? Introduce little delicacies - kidneys fried in tallow or that perfect liver scramble... Then she'll have a repertoire of what good Paleo food can be like if she ever actually decides to give up the carbs...

D5096ff5baffc0ba5d20b21346414a7a

(1112)

on June 11, 2011
at 03:10 AM

I wouldn't try to win the wife over with the kidneys and liver...My husband has made giant strides, but I don't think I can ever get him to try liver. At least he doesn't evacuate the house when I fix my yummy liver, bacon, and onions.

1568416ef28477d1fa29046218d83ddd

(6235)

on June 11, 2011
at 03:07 AM

I don’t know how old you daughter is, but you might consider telling her not to eat your food. I know that sounds stupid, but "this grass fed beef is an special treat for me because I made the commitment to eat a specific way, you haven't. One day you will decide how you want to eat but until then this sort of treat would probably be wasted on you, it is for mindful eaters" might actually work a lot better if she is a tween or so.

Fe29f6658ce67c1ecc4a22e960be7498

(2997)

on June 12, 2011
at 04:47 AM

It doesn't sound stupid at all! I've even said similar things already. And she's seen me make kefir and eat fat etc. And she's at least tried (and rejected) my offerings and I totally leave it alone; at least she's *seen* me eat this way - it's in there somewhere and will be available when she's ready. Nancy, the other day I was frying up my liver & eggs, and my wife said "you know, that actually smells good!" I'm not holding my breath, but at least it's progress!

1
967229edcc94a66580110324524feb49

(688)

on June 10, 2011
at 11:47 PM

"You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him (or her) drink."

I understand where you are coming from since my hubby also mentions wanting to eat paleo but is showing no inclination to do it on his own. Same thing happened a couple years back when I was on a restricted calorie diet. He wanted to join me, but only if I planned his whole day of meals and then policed him. After about 3 weeks I decided enough was enough. If he wanted to join me he had to put his own effort in. Not only had I turned into his mom asking him to eat his veggies and not drink his beer but he hadn't learned to make good decisions without me.

It took a couple more months but eventually he did find a balance that worked for him and was very successful. With paleo it's especially hard because there are so many more restrictions, I can't badger him into something that likely would not work for him - heck it's hard enough for me to stick to it :) I can just lead by example and hope he comes along someday...on his own.

61b801de5dc345b557cd4623d4a4f26b

(2682)

on June 22, 2011
at 06:34 PM

That's my husband's current response: if I agree to prep all his meals (I do dinner, but lunch is usually eaten out) and police what he eats and only use foods that he already knows and likes, then *maybe* he can follow my "diet." Bah!

1
Ed983a42344945b1ff70fd9597a23493

on June 10, 2011
at 09:24 PM

I want to echo others' ideas about just leading by example. Nagging is not something most people respond to positively. I totally relate to wanting your partner to experience this amazing thing that you're experiencing, but she needs to find it herself. And no woman wants to be reminded that her honey is unhappy with her body. I know my husband can be really stubborn, and he responds best when changes come from his own ideas, or at least he thinks they were his own ideas ;) So I guess this is my advice; back off, be a quiet good example, don't take her personally, and figure out a way to get her thinking that paleo is a good idea that she thought of for herself, all on her own!

Medium avatar

(19479)

on June 11, 2011
at 01:27 AM

My wife is like a freakin Jedi master! She knows if I am trying to influence her eating habits, no matter how subtly, and does not like it one bit. The best strategy, and the one that has been the most challenging for me until recently, is to simply let her be and do my thing. When I don't try to influence her, she starts to ask questions, and I can see that the wheels start turning in light of my abundant energy, inability to get sick, effortless weight maintenance, etc.

Medium avatar

(5639)

on June 12, 2011
at 02:04 AM

People think it's their choice to eat the way they do, and then when you pull back the curtain and show them the great and powerful Oz pulling their strings with ads, MSG, carb addiction and misinformation, they can't reconcile it with their "free will."

1
345c1755efe005edd162b770dc6fb821

(8767)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:36 PM

I haven't been able to get my husband to change his diet but he does eat what I give him. The problem is that he eats his main meal away and I KNOW its full of bread and fried everything. He himself feels he needs to loose weight (probably 15lbs) but just hasnt yet gotten there to do it. Even after seeing drastic changes with me.

I have managed to remove just about everything in the house that is processed but if they are not willing to commit, theres not much you can do but have good food there for them and let them get inspired by you. When they are ready they'll already be half way started!!

good luck!!

1
531c407095af44ba5bf72868120c4d98

(140)

on June 10, 2011
at 08:34 PM

I can relate to both her issues and to your epiphany with Paleo. What it is going to come down to is her buckling down and deciding this is what she wants. It sounds cliche' but it is that rock bottom of being sick and tired of feeling bad and not feeling comfortable in your own skin that will motivate her. You are too "close" to it to motivate her. Maybe you should take them helm and plan/cook the meals for her and show her how good "real" food can be and that it is possible to lose the taste for the bad stuff and experience physical and mental vitality. I wish you all the best!

0
24a0a0d5073f0a77c3737ef9d0e4c426

on February 12, 2013
at 01:22 AM

My wife has come mostly aboard the paleo train because she recognized that it has helped me to lose weight, handle stress better and feel better. She does let me ramble on about it even if she doesn't believe in it 100%. Having me cook more was a bonus. At the same time we also started keeping more regular bed-times and not workimg quite as much.

What helped the most is that we do emjoy doing things together. If you can share getting healthy with her, it will make all the difference in the world, especially in the beginning. After a month or two her improvements in health overall will keep her motivated.

Be supportive. Work together. Have the common goal.

Good luck to you both!

0
77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on February 11, 2013
at 10:08 PM

Hello every one my Name is LOVETH. I will love to thank Dr Shiva at hinduspelltemple@yahoo.com and share my testimony to all the people in the forum cos i never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me..The girl i want to get marry to left me 4 weeks to our wedding for another man.., When i called her she never picked my calls, She deleted me on her facebook and she changed her facebook status from married to Single...when i went to her to her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me..I lost my job as a result of this cos i cant get myself anymore,my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life...I tried all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i met a Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back and how i lost my job...he told me he gonna help me...i don't believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of days..then i travel back to US the following day and i called him when i got home and he said he's busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 2 days that is Thursday...My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done ..she said, she never knew what she's doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when i heard that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my wife called and he said i haven't seen anything yet... he said i will also get my job back in 3 days time..and when its Sunday,they called me at my place of work that i should resume working on Monday and they gonna compensate me for the time limit have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back too.This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can mail him to hinduspelltemple@yahoo.com I cant give out his number cos he told me he don't want to be disturbed by many people across the world..he said his email is okay and he' will replied to any emails asap..hope he helped u out too..good luck: hinduspelltemple@yahoo.com .ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: (hinduspelltemple@yahoo.com) you are the best spell caster that can help solve any problem i will always give thanks to you.

0
32652cb696b75182cb121009ee4edea3

(5802)

on February 10, 2013
at 09:45 PM

The book that convinced me was Good Calories Bad Calories. And initially I wasn't even going for weight loss; just health. My husband has watched me eat paleo for 2.5 years, lose 30+ lb, etc ... and only last month did he finally say, "um, how exactly can I start to eat more paleo?" Hang in there...

0
77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on February 10, 2013
at 09:29 PM

Hello every one my Name is LOVETH. I will love to thank Dr Shiva at hinduspelltemple@yahoo.com and share my testimony to all the people in the forum cos i never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me..The girl i want to get marry to left me 4 weeks to our wedding for another man.., When i called her she never picked my calls, She deleted me on her facebook and she changed her facebook status from married to Single...when i went to her to her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me..I lost my job as a result of this cos i cant get myself anymore,my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life...I tried all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i met a Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back and how i lost my job...he told me he gonna help me...i don't believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of days..then i travel back to US the following day and i called him when i got home and he said he's busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 2 days that is Thursday...My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done ..she said, she never knew what she's doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when i heard that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my wife called and he said i haven't seen anything yet... he said i will also get my job back in 3 days time..and when its Sunday,they called me at my place of work that i should resume working on Monday and they gonna compensate me for the time limit have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back too.This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can mail him to hinduspelltemple@yahoo.com I cant give out his number cos he told me he don't want to be disturbed by many people across the world..he said his email is okay and he' will replied to any emails asap..hope he helped u out too..good luck: hinduspelltemple@yahoo.com .ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: (hinduspelltemple@yahoo.com) you are the best spell caster that can help solve any problem i will always give thanks to you.

7eba3d743671649c1e06cacce0ba4e77

(1423)

on February 11, 2013
at 03:46 AM

... ... ...Huh?

0
77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on January 25, 2013
at 03:17 PM

My Name is JANE.I will love to share my testimony to all the people in the forum cos i never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me..The girl i want to get marry to left me 4 weeks to our wedding for another man..,When i called her she never picked my calls,She deleted me on her facebook and she changed her facebook status from married to Single...when i went to her to her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me..I lost my job as a result of this cos i cant get myself anymore,my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life...I tried all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i met a Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back and how i lost my job...he told me he gonna help me...i don't believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of days..then i travel back to US the following day and i called him when i got home and he said he's busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 2 days that is Thursday...My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done ..she said,she never knew what she's doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when i heard that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my wife called and he said i haven't seen anything yet... he said i will also get my job back in 3 days time..and when its Sunday,they called me at my place of work that i should resume working on Monday and they gonna compensate me for the time limit have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back too.This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can mail him to imomohspelltemple@yahoo.com I cant give out his number cos he told me he don't want to be disturbed by many people across the world..he said his email is okay and he' will replied to any emails asap..hope he helped u out too..good luck:imomohspelltemple@yahoo.com.ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: imomohspelltemple@yahoo.com

HE CAN ALSO HELP YOU TO SOLVE ANY PROBLEM BECAUSE HE HELP ME ALSO AND NOW I AM VERY HAPPY AND IF YOU NEED HIS CONTACT VIA EMAIL:imomohspelltemple@yahoo.com

7eba3d743671649c1e06cacce0ba4e77

(1423)

on February 11, 2013
at 03:47 AM

Are you and Loveth brothers from another mother?

0
Medium avatar

on December 10, 2011
at 07:10 PM

I would counsel taking a cautious approach with respect to trying to "change" one's spouse on such a fundamental matter as food choice. People easily say they "want" to change but that can and often does become a racket. "I want to change, but..."

0
Cf4576cbcc44fc7f2294135609bce9e5

on December 10, 2011
at 07:31 AM

the women i married is sort of jealous of me but refuses to eat paleo strictly. like most spouses one is always the spoiled brat .look at it this way, she is going to die first. she has a right to be jealous

0
1c67bc28f4e44bbb8770b86df0463df3

on June 22, 2011
at 08:13 PM

"What’s more, she is filling up the fridge / freezer with all kinds of crap food that I won’t eat and keeps offering it to me – as if to test my resolve"

What! Throw that shit in the garbage and fill the freezer with meat and veggies. Cook giant steaks every night with big ole salads and make her one. If she doesn't eat it, have it for breakfast in the morning.

332d9f75d1077abafff6887681f6b130

(1081)

on June 22, 2011
at 08:26 PM

I feel that throwing away a fridge full of the food she just purchased may let me sleep on the couch for a night or two. On the up side, its WAY darker in the living room than the bedroom (she likes to have light)

0
3f3236d1f951d4b4c25eff387699a905

(554)

on June 12, 2011
at 07:12 AM

Perhaps it would work if you don't try to info-dump her or try to get her on the diet so strictly. She might be carb addicted, which makes it very difficult to kick the cravings. It is most probably not lack of willpower or motivation that is keeping her, but the addiction which also has the effect of making one unmotivated to exercise and try to eat well.

Cooking for her is awesome! Introduce her to some alternatives to her favorite things, such as banana ice-cream or pancakes made with almond flour and honey etc. I believe that if the big carbs, ie pasta, bread, rice, etc staple foods are out of her diet for a few days, she will drop a bit of water weight and her cravings will become much less. It is usually the carbs we think of as "food" that are the traps, as I'm sure she isn't gorging sweets instead of food all day.

It might be better to try to take things one step at a time instead of making her go paleo from day one. If she likes cheese and milk, let her. Same with legumes etc. It might be more effective to do it slowly and take out the big bad guys (grains) first. And don't nag if she does eat a cookie. She probably has guilt feelings about it anyway. Make your own paleo type cookies the next day :)

And remember to compliment her regularly when she makes progress!

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