3

votes

Hack Your Poetry Contest (with bounty!)

Answered on August 19, 2014
Created March 15, 2010 at 12:35 AM

I'm backing this contest with a whopping 50 of my own reputation points (plus 50 matching points). This contest is not sanctioned by PaleoHacks. The moderator may remove this post without warning. How it works:

  1. Write your best poetry or verse about any paleo-related subject. You do NOT have to "pitch" paleo, as in the "elevator pitch" thread: http://paleohacks.com/questions/1665/the-best-paleo-elevator-pitch

  2. You can use any style or format you wish--haiku, limerick, free verse, blank verse, rap, etc. Please announce if you're using a specific format so we can tell how well you fit the format (eg. haiku).

  3. You can be as funny or serious as you wish.

  4. Keep it brief--this is Hack Poetry after all. There is no minimum length. Maximum length shall be English sonnet length (14 lines).

  5. Vote up your favorites!

  6. After 2 days, I will add the bounty. Six days later, I will select the entry with the most votes as the winner. In the event of a tie, the earlier-posted answer will be the winner. I will not judge the answers. Also, I can submit entries, but I'm not eligible for the bounty.

  7. The winner gets all the reputation points from votes received, plus 100 bonus points, plus bragging rights.

  8. Deadline: about 8 days from the date of this post.

  9. Enter as often as you like.

Edit, 3/16/2010, 11PM Eastern: Anna's expressive acumen has proven formidable so far. Surely we have some more paleo poets here in the hack-o-sphere! Plenty of time--deadline is in 6 days.

Edit, 3/21/2010, 9:45AM Eastern: Reminder--get your poems and votes in. The bounty will be awarded Monday evening, 3/22/2010.

Edit, 3/22/2010: Congratulations to Anna, who has taken first place and the 100 reputation points bounty--well done Anna! Thank you to all who participated--poets, voters and readers.

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 23, 2010
at 01:10 AM

Wow! Happy AnnaA! This happened just in time for me to find out about it since we are turning our modem in tomorrow and heading home to Canada on Thursday. Thanks for the fun Ed!

93f44e8673d3ea2294cce085ebc96e13

(10502)

on March 21, 2010
at 02:58 AM

This one is my favorite. ;P

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 18, 2010
at 02:05 PM

The point is from me, not lucky! LOL

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 18, 2010
at 01:56 AM

Nice, The Great- just gotta watch out for those Golden Arches!

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 16, 2010
at 03:28 AM

Make that squirrels.

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 16, 2010
at 03:26 AM

I had absolutely no idea this talent was weird- thought everybody could do it!

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 16, 2010
at 03:22 AM

SO glad you bagged a deer to go with the squirrel Lucky!

8f2bc05f4c80bbef337cdb5fccbb5471

(801)

on March 16, 2010
at 12:13 AM

Okay, I voted for this one, ha ha ha ha ha! (And for a couple of your others, you are GOOD, Anna!)

Medium avatar

(7073)

on March 15, 2010
at 10:20 AM

is there no end to this women's poetry talent?

Medium avatar

(7073)

on March 15, 2010
at 10:19 AM

very good question, I fear I lack the poetry gene, however.

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 15, 2010
at 04:43 AM

Sometimes I write poetry to vent or spout off things in a funny way, so this is right up my alley. Thanks for the fun Ed!

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 15, 2010
at 04:38 AM

I've always had a lot of fun with it. :-)

A89f9751a97c3082802dc0bcbe4e9208

(13978)

on March 15, 2010
at 04:28 AM

O-M-G! This is delightful!

A89f9751a97c3082802dc0bcbe4e9208

(13978)

on March 15, 2010
at 04:28 AM

Anna! You're quote the poet!

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 15, 2010
at 04:20 AM

Muchos gracias!

6426d61a13689f8f651164b10f121d64

(11478)

on March 15, 2010
at 03:36 AM

I love the waffle/offal couplet!

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 15, 2010
at 02:52 AM

Oh gosh- I must have too much time on my hands.

  • 6426d61a13689f8f651164b10f121d64

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17 Answers

best answer

9
77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 15, 2010
at 01:51 AM

I was a product SAD but true

Of things you really shouldn't do.

Mistakenly I ate whole grain

And felt my health go down the drain.

The fat I ate was not enough-

I started to feel really rough.

I skipped the fruit and drank the juice,

But over time I learned the truth

That I'd been fed a pile of shit-

(I'm still not really over it!).

I'm now eating grass-fed meat,

And not really anything too sweet.

Over time my hurts will heal,

Paleo chow is food that's real!

A89f9751a97c3082802dc0bcbe4e9208

(13978)

on March 15, 2010
at 04:28 AM

Anna! You're quote the poet!

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 15, 2010
at 04:38 AM

I've always had a lot of fun with it. :-)

6
8347d512bca9b034d53da40dab8cd21c

on March 18, 2010
at 03:37 AM

Haiku.

Paleo newbies/

please leave the hamsters alone/

They are not allowed.

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 18, 2010
at 02:05 PM

The point is from me, not lucky! LOL

6
2ebfa52e50871351572c73fb5a5f2f2a

on March 18, 2010
at 12:09 AM

Mounds of sugar, Piles of starch
Unable to resist the golden arch

Insulin spiking, Pancreas scream
Sugar rising in the stream

Discover Grok and his way of life
Convince myself and then my wife

Fat and meat are now the treat
That we and our child love to eat

Skip the sugar, pass on the grains
Say goodbye to all the pains

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 18, 2010
at 01:56 AM

Nice, The Great- just gotta watch out for those Golden Arches!

6
77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 15, 2010
at 03:35 AM

Go out lifting heavy stuff

To get a body that is buff.

Drink only water when you're parched,

Hope kids are fully dental arched.

Eat your kidney, heart and liver

Even though it makes you quiver.

Learn your scientific reasons

For what to eat in certain seasons.

Get some sun without being screened

And watch what kids eat when they're weaned.

Don't stuff yourself three times a day,

And leave yourself some time to play.

These words won't make you super wealthy

But sure as fate they'll get you healthy!

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 16, 2010
at 03:26 AM

I had absolutely no idea this talent was weird- thought everybody could do it!

Medium avatar

(7073)

on March 15, 2010
at 10:20 AM

is there no end to this women's poetry talent?

5
6426d61a13689f8f651164b10f121d64

(11478)

on March 19, 2010
at 02:50 AM

a limerick:

My internist scolded me hard

For frying in tallow and lard.

If your doctors are quacks,

Come to PaleoHacks,

Where your favorite questions are starred.

93f44e8673d3ea2294cce085ebc96e13

(10502)

on March 21, 2010
at 02:58 AM

This one is my favorite. ;P

5
77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 15, 2010
at 04:37 AM

Finally a limerick.

There once was a fellow so large

That he had to travel by barge.

He quit eating wheat

And ate more fat and meat

Now his meds cost is at 'no charge'.

4
Ab153bf62e1f51eea3243acdd2f7bfb9

on March 19, 2010
at 06:56 PM

red meat glistening
gobs of yellow fat shine softly
my belly says yum

4
6426d61a13689f8f651164b10f121d64

(11478)

on March 15, 2010
at 02:11 AM

Haiku:

Run, lift, think better--

Meat, veggies fuel THIS machine.

Ah, paleo bliss!

4
77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 15, 2010
at 02:00 AM

Burgers nestled in lettuce bun,

Butter sauce on meat does run,

Nix the cake, don't eat the toffee,

Just give me whipped cream in my coffee!

Sprint up the stairs and 'cross the field-

Just feel the power meat can yield!

No sugar lows can touch me ever-

This Paleo diet's really clever.

4
03aeff8d87a3b53a449b5b8e9158da98

(3268)

on March 15, 2010
at 01:59 AM

There was a man from 3 million years ago,

who said, "You're eating grains? No, no!

Fructose, glutens, and industrial oils will kill you,

so eat real food, like your genes tell you to do!"

3
77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 15, 2010
at 02:52 AM

A simpler time in ways, but yet,

In so much trouble Grok could get

In combat with potential food-

He really was manly dude!

Injuries were part of daily life.

Not traffic jams, but daily strife

Helped keep Grok on his toes-

Escape was fast when shit arose.

No grainy bread or tasty waffle-

Grok's fuel really was more offal.

Now I don't sit in trees to tweet

Nor off a squirrel for things to eat,

But nonetheless I'm not too sweet

'Cuz my best food is rare done meat!

6426d61a13689f8f651164b10f121d64

(11478)

on March 15, 2010
at 03:36 AM

I love the waffle/offal couplet!

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 15, 2010
at 04:20 AM

Muchos gracias!

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 16, 2010
at 03:22 AM

SO glad you bagged a deer to go with the squirrel Lucky!

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 15, 2010
at 02:52 AM

Oh gosh- I must have too much time on my hands.

8f2bc05f4c80bbef337cdb5fccbb5471

(801)

on March 16, 2010
at 12:13 AM

Okay, I voted for this one, ha ha ha ha ha! (And for a couple of your others, you are GOOD, Anna!)

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 16, 2010
at 03:28 AM

Make that squirrels.

2
78b9161a401f16b9611fe4e639b0b856

(200)

on March 19, 2010
at 12:57 PM

Well, why not give it a shot - haiku:

Paleo knowledge

Started a rebirth of mind

Body will follow

2
77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 15, 2010
at 07:32 PM

My first ever Haiku.

grass fed meat and fat

energy in solid form

body is happy

2
6426d61a13689f8f651164b10f121d64

(11478)

on March 15, 2010
at 05:43 PM

Haiku:

The landscape is dense,

12-step plans ubiquitous.

Start with Dr. Kurt's.

1
Ab153bf62e1f51eea3243acdd2f7bfb9

on March 19, 2010
at 07:20 PM

meat, bone, fat, offal
crisp grasshoppers, juicy grubs
berries on the side?

0
A048b66e08306d405986b6c04bf5e8e4

on December 24, 2013
at 02:41 AM

(To the tune of "Shadow of the Swastika" by Tyr) You, who think 25 grams of soy protein can prevent heart disease And those phytoestrogens can actually please Not mine, I'll take no portion you can shove your heart-healthy soybeans where no light may pass and kiss my rock-hard paleo a$$ Conventional wisdom of the past How long will it last? A lie lost in the legacy by Ancel Keys left us this fallacy unsurpasses! You, who think that 6-11 servings of whole grains can keep your blood sugar stable not so, I think I'll pass you can shove your heart-healthy whole grains where no light may pass and kiss my rock-hard paleo a$$ Conventional wisdom of the past How long will it last? A lie lost in the fallacy by fools left us this fallacy unsurpassed! make sure you count me out of the ranks of you misguided bumpkins with your sewer gas and kiss my rock-hard paleo a$$ You who recommend canola oil to raise good cholesterol while telling us that pastured lard will kill us all not me, I will not buy it I do better with saturated fat in my diet you can shove your heart-healthy PUFAS where no light may pass and kiss my rock-hard paleo a$$ Conventional wisdom of the past How long will it last? A lie lost in the fallacy by fools left us this fallacy unsurpassed! make sure you count me out of the ranks of you misguided bumpkins with your sewer gas and kiss my rock-hard paleo a$$

0
77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on April 12, 2010
at 07:08 AM

Thanks for giving me an amazing post, its great time to read your post. I’ve got some more interesting topic for discussion. So keep it up.

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