4

votes

Don't judge me...

Answered on August 19, 2014
Created March 08, 2012 at 3:43 AM

I'm a guy who eats paleo year round and am in pretty decent shape. I'm going on spring break in a week... does anyone have any tips to look just a wee bit better on the beach?

Cutting carbs down this next week?... Lowering sodium?

I apologize for the vapid question, but it is spring break...

1c67bc28f4e44bbb8770b86df0463df3

(6719)

on March 09, 2012
at 08:26 PM

PSMF used intermittently will get one ripped, it works. .

95b000345fd8880063ae6c39904e0732

(99)

on March 08, 2012
at 10:19 PM

frickin' hiliarious!!

A968087cc1dd66d480749c02e4619ef4

(20436)

on March 08, 2012
at 08:11 PM

10,000 crunches should do the trick - just watch out for a hernia.

5ef574d7893bc816ec52e04139e9bc09

(6097)

on March 08, 2012
at 05:35 PM

^ or just be as absurdly sexy as me

59ee717de524f921efb7f2984157339f

(871)

on March 08, 2012
at 05:19 PM

hahaah bacon. so cute

F1b39d4f620876330312f4925bd51900

(4090)

on March 08, 2012
at 05:04 PM

Have them spray a tan six pack pattern on your stomach. It will help with the illusion.

1dcfcebc5f36408d121f124a78292d42

(1295)

on March 08, 2012
at 02:15 PM

And honestly, girls care way more about the way you carry yourself than your body comp. As long as you are in a healthy range, those last few pounds are unlikely to make much of a difference. This is my opinion, at least. Just be confident.

1dcfcebc5f36408d121f124a78292d42

(1295)

on March 08, 2012
at 02:13 PM

I don't think people will judge you. We all want to look good, especially on the beach.

Fd627132a760e414f2afbf378c8afd9b

(260)

on March 08, 2012
at 06:53 AM

I've heard this referred to as the "velocity diet" in bodybuilding circles. It will most work, just make sure you research it very well.

34b560c8b9ce660d7839fb7e29d7be89

on March 08, 2012
at 04:32 AM

This is what I was going to suggest. Here is a pretty good link; http://skylertanner.com/2008/04/20/protein-sparing-modified-fast-the-hydrogen-bomb-of-safe-crash-dieting/

6120c989fd5b69f42a0834b69b87955b

(24553)

on March 08, 2012
at 04:28 AM

I wonder if you could do this yourself with some sort of waterproof eye shadow?

Ed983a42344945b1ff70fd9597a23493

on March 08, 2012
at 04:16 AM

Ha! I wonder what it would cost to have your own personal abs makeup artist follow you around doing touch-ups all Spring break?!

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15 Answers

15
7c9f81d68c78de1a31eab9c91c17b4b8

on March 08, 2012
at 03:56 AM

Yes. Find a cute girl to walk on the beach with you. You'll look great!

59ee717de524f921efb7f2984157339f

(871)

on March 08, 2012
at 05:19 PM

hahaah bacon. so cute

10
0242b468fe1c97997749db416c92e7ed

(4528)

on March 08, 2012
at 05:16 PM

don't-judge-me...

Sorry, couldn't resist. :)

95b000345fd8880063ae6c39904e0732

(99)

on March 08, 2012
at 10:19 PM

frickin' hiliarious!!

7
F80aaa96354eb749a8a5efdda3feba7d

on March 08, 2012
at 05:13 AM

Get a spray tan. Every guy looks more buff when he's tan.

F1b39d4f620876330312f4925bd51900

(4090)

on March 08, 2012
at 05:04 PM

Have them spray a tan six pack pattern on your stomach. It will help with the illusion.

6
5ef574d7893bc816ec52e04139e9bc09

(6097)

on March 08, 2012
at 02:04 PM

IMHO: Attractiveness comes from within. As a guy, the simple act of fretting about your physical appearance is inherently less attractive than moving on with your life and accepting that one week is not enough time to produce any substantial lifestyle change that makes you look better.

5ef574d7893bc816ec52e04139e9bc09

(6097)

on March 08, 2012
at 05:35 PM

^ or just be as absurdly sexy as me

1dcfcebc5f36408d121f124a78292d42

(1295)

on March 08, 2012
at 02:15 PM

And honestly, girls care way more about the way you carry yourself than your body comp. As long as you are in a healthy range, those last few pounds are unlikely to make much of a difference. This is my opinion, at least. Just be confident.

5
65cd65934c5159b47968dc3802ca9fe6

(303)

on March 08, 2012
at 03:57 AM

I'll be in your shoes in a few short weeks. I'd do strict low carb/sodium for at least a week for sure. Mostly protein, and some greens and that's about it. No alcohol or sugar at all. All I'm eating the week or two before I leave is eggs, meat, and a few veggies. Have fun!

2
A115b8aa3c375f10d5bde0c0d06b6143

on March 08, 2012
at 10:19 PM

This is going to sound cheesy, but if a guy slaps on a smile and looks straight into my eyes, I barely notice his body. It forces me to look at his face. If I'm looking elsewhere, I'm simply being rude.

Confidence really does come from within.

2
3bad4b0b105bf44d7650e7fdfbe15cbd

on March 08, 2012
at 03:57 AM

The only thing you can really do is lose body fat. Playing with sodium/water retention levels is difficult and could only be maintained for a day, if that.

Your muscles will likely look smaller if you cut carbs heavily due to lower glycogen content. Probably not what you want.

A PSMF is your best bet. It will suck (I've tried it) but you can drop a few pounds of fat in a week. You should find a better resource that this wikipedia article on how to do it safely (e.g. Lyle McDonald's rapid fat loss handbook) but it's a good summary.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Protein_Sparing_Modified_Fast

Fd627132a760e414f2afbf378c8afd9b

(260)

on March 08, 2012
at 06:53 AM

I've heard this referred to as the "velocity diet" in bodybuilding circles. It will most work, just make sure you research it very well.

1c67bc28f4e44bbb8770b86df0463df3

(6719)

on March 09, 2012
at 08:26 PM

PSMF used intermittently will get one ripped, it works. .

34b560c8b9ce660d7839fb7e29d7be89

on March 08, 2012
at 04:32 AM

This is what I was going to suggest. Here is a pretty good link; http://skylertanner.com/2008/04/20/protein-sparing-modified-fast-the-hydrogen-bomb-of-safe-crash-dieting/

2
6120c989fd5b69f42a0834b69b87955b

(24553)

on March 08, 2012
at 03:52 AM

Ed983a42344945b1ff70fd9597a23493

on March 08, 2012
at 04:16 AM

Ha! I wonder what it would cost to have your own personal abs makeup artist follow you around doing touch-ups all Spring break?!

6120c989fd5b69f42a0834b69b87955b

(24553)

on March 08, 2012
at 04:28 AM

I wonder if you could do this yourself with some sort of waterproof eye shadow?

1
6685e7adb6ba6ca9ff825b80e296c0e5

on March 09, 2012
at 06:44 PM

Go shopping. Buy some nice t-shirts and well-fitting swimsuits. A tan wouldn't hurt, but don't over-do it. Get a haircut. Shave. If you can stand it, go get a facial for nice glowing skin. Get your teeth whitened. Get a pedicure (have you seen your toes since October? -- all the ladies are about to).

1
7bf306ada57db47547e9da39a415edf6

(11214)

on March 08, 2012
at 06:02 PM

If you are up for a strange experiment, try the judicious use of red wine. I have noticed red wine is an incredible diuretic. In fact, you need to be somewhat careful with this experiment, since we are talking about purposefully being dehydrated on a beach. Vanity could be deadly. I don't think dropping sodium is a good idea. Traditional 'shredding' techniques come from wrestlers, who are trying to make a weight. You don't need to make a weight, you need to make a good impression. How about putting that water into your muscle cells where they will contribute to you looking muscular? Creatine puts the water into your muscle cells.

You will need to drink water and keep your electrolytes balanced if you do any of these things. That's why lowering sodium is such a bad idea. You'll be flushing out so much sodium you will probably need more than you usually take in, especially in a hot environment.

Whatever you do, be just a wee bit more in control than the rest of the crowd.

1
2f54dbe892ec89b12d1db686568e885a

(919)

on March 08, 2012
at 08:41 AM

find a deserted one............

1
77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 08, 2012
at 06:22 AM

Forget about it. One week isn't enough time to do anything very noticeable (apart from the spray tan suggested above). Maybe you could start doing something now, so that you look good for Spring break 2013?

0
9e678f5a6119e0937a4087faccbba263

(115)

on March 08, 2012
at 08:08 PM

Your best strategy for losing water (if you don't want to take illicit drugs) is Sodium loading.

Start lowing your sodium about 10-15 days out. Don't deplete your levels too quickly - this is to prevent too much aldosterone getting released (Aldosterone is a steriod that causes the body to retain fluid).

*Also increase your potassium a little more than normal, this helps.

15 Days Out - Begin sodium loading. Salt or season all meals and eat foods high in sodium.
10 Days Out - Reduce sodium to 4000 mg per day.
5 Days Out - Reduce sodium to 2000 mg per day.
2 Days Out - Reduce sodium to 1500 mg.
1 Day Out - Reduce sodium to 1000 mg.

Drink 2-3 gallons of water the days leading up to the beach, then cut it by 30% a day before, then drink enough water to quench thirst the day... but nothing more. Don't forget, muscle tissue is mostly water, if you cut your water too much you will lose alot of fullness.

5 days before, increase you carb intake higher than normal (150g+) for 2 days, followed by 3 days none (0g).

On the day:

2 hours before the beach: Ingest a high carb/fat/sodium meal containing approximately 75-90 g of carbs, 20-30 g fat, and 2000 mg sodium. This meal will really help you to fill out.

(By sodium depleting for several days prior you will have increased your body's ability to store more sodium. Since your cells have been deprived of sodium for several days they will be more likely to retain sodium (and the water that goes along with it) intracellularly and store less of it subcutaneously. Couple this with the increase glycogen retention inside the cell and you will fill out.)

Hope this helps

0
661fd72c601aa67be69e90c8ecb88b9f

on March 08, 2012
at 06:59 PM

A well fitting swimsuit that shows off your ass! Like a Brazilian sunga, the traditional speedo or a vintage pair of short swim trunks!

Leave the baggy jams and NBA-style shorts at home.

0
Bdc6244bdbd664d2168a8e326018ffbe

(431)

on March 08, 2012
at 10:27 AM

I second the tan suggestion. Unattractive abstractly, I know, but still.

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