Note: this post is a work of fiction. Any and all activities never happened. This is a creative writing piece.
So I'm planning a final turn around fast this Monday, but needed to stock up my vitamin reserves. I barely have enough for the weekend binge, speedballs and final taco bell, so I have to steal the vitamins. I take a D3 and C to the bathroom, swallow the days supply, then put the weekend supply in my pocket.
I'm in an above average stoned state at this point ( just coming down now)so perhaps I was less careful and observant than I had perceived. The security guy was DEFINITELY paying me special attention, but did nothing.
Anyway, I realized I forgot the zinc, but I can't go into the bathroom again- too sketchy.
So, I decide to test out my NLP, and just walk through the checkout line, pay for my ice cream, and leave. The cashier definitely saw my bottle of zinc, but I only put the ice ccream down and he asked " just this?" I said yes, he scanned the ice cream, and I left. I used a 20 on a $5 ice cream, so I could obviously afford it.
Do they just not care?
I always graze a significant portion of the buffet food (which is by weight) to get more calories for my dollar, and only once have I been told " excuse me sir, not to be rude but it's by weight." Other times ill down half a box right in front of employees, and they do nothing, even though they clearly see.
Btw, I'm at the grove now if anybody wants to meet up ( this part if post is true)
Note- I would feel bad about this if it was real. Once I rise up, I'll donate lots if money.
asked bypaleohacks (78467)
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