1

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non-paleo family

Answered on August 19, 2014
Created September 29, 2010 at 3:40 PM

Is it harmful to do paleo half-assed? What I mean is that I am following the paleo lifestyle for about a month or so, but I have had huge resistance from my wife. My fault for proselytizing too early. I would like to subtly convert my children aged 11 and 9. My worry is that while I try to increase thier fat and protien, my wife will still allow them to have bread and juice. I am worried this will make them fatter. Should I hold out for a while so everone can see the benifits of a paleo lifestyle.

04293f705870e1837b8670d3c1cd5f67

(2261)

on April 06, 2011
at 11:50 PM

I too asked a similiar question http://paleohacks.com/questions/10307/is-it-worse-to-have-increased-fats-if-you-are-still-consuming-grains#axzz1In2iecBE

77732bf6bf2b8a360f523ef87c3b7523

(6157)

on September 30, 2010
at 02:03 PM

Also, regarding the calcium issue: vitamin D3 and magnesium are more important than calcium, for calcium absorption and retention. Hm, whole grains also interfere with calcium absorption.... Finally, if she can't agree to Paleo because it's too "restrictive" then just cut back on the biggest junk items like cake, sodas, McDonalds, etc. and worry about juice/bread later. Gluten sucks, but not as much as gluten + hydrogenated veg oils + high fructose corn syrup (the big 3 found in many processed foods). Juice is the least of your worries at this point.

77732bf6bf2b8a360f523ef87c3b7523

(6157)

on September 30, 2010
at 01:57 PM

How come so many personal trainers recommend high-rep, low-weight exercise for women when it's so much less effective than low-rep, high-weight exercise? Most of the conventional wisdom in nutrition and fitness is just plain wrong. If she doesn't understand that, then you are facing a big uphill battle. In her defense, there are a lot of "unconventional" and yet idiotic nutrition/fitness plans out there, too. Here's the key question: Does your wife understand evolution, and the humans are biological creatures and so subject to evolution? That's where I would start.

A3ff262a2686d79789e09a26013901b3

(1208)

on September 30, 2010
at 06:16 AM

Her biggest comeback is how come so many nutritionists recomend whole grains and dairy for calcium...etc. So its the verification of the science by a general Consensus of "normal" health proffesionals she relies on and she thinks it will be too restricting. Its a little of both

Cfccbcf3450ac4919311ded8ef162d49

(2312)

on September 30, 2010
at 03:28 AM

David that may be true. It may also be a function of who has more control of the cooking. I thinks my youngest was getting on board before my husband did and she helped police Dad to a degree. Mine are not strictly paleo either when away from home, my youngest makes the best choices when eating out, though.

62ed65f3596aa2f62fa1d58a0c09f8c3

(20807)

on September 30, 2010
at 03:13 AM

WHen I was a kid, I didn't give a wit of care about 'what was good for me.' That was just some plather the parents where always complaining about! All I cared about was what tasted good. THe only way to have kept me from eating crap was to not have crap available.

77732bf6bf2b8a360f523ef87c3b7523

(6157)

on September 29, 2010
at 10:36 PM

I sound like a broken record on this. Stop preaching the Paleo message and just get your wife to agree to cut back or eliminate processed foods. If she disagrees with you on this, divorce her. Just joking, kind of. The catch is that bread and pasta are processed foods. =) Also, is she putting up resistance because she doesn't understand the science, or because she's unwilling to make lifestyle changes, or both?

286a4ff7c362241c5c4b020df4972212

(1288)

on September 29, 2010
at 09:59 PM

My kids who are 5,6&8 came on board before my husband . My youngest still does not get it so I don't push he is a hungry kid. But the other 2 got it fast they realized if they ate carbs they got hungry soon after . I showed them how to find the carb content of food and now they check. One of them is even experementing with elimination diets to change outcomes it's amazing to watch . Then my husband came onboard! Kids are not strictly paleo but it's evolving and I am happy for it to take time as long as it's coming from them and it's healthy mentally as well as physically.

47a42b6be94caf700fce9509e38bb6a4

(9647)

on September 29, 2010
at 07:54 PM

@Melissa and all: I guess it's kind of a combination of two questions. There's this one about doing paleo halfway: http://paleohacks.com/questions/6633/is-a-half-assed-paleo-diet-no-absolute-restrictions-better-than-nothing And then there are various questions about family and kids. Get to those by searching tags.

65125edd5aafad39b3d5b3a8b4a36bb7

(6082)

on September 29, 2010
at 06:18 PM

That's a deal breaker

65125edd5aafad39b3d5b3a8b4a36bb7

(6082)

on September 29, 2010
at 06:17 PM

For EveryDayPaleo - the husband and wife are both on board. When one parent refuses to get on board, it's got to be difficult to influence your children's diet.

9d43f6873107e17ca4d1a5055aa7a2ad

on September 29, 2010
at 05:39 PM

Wasn't there another question just like this? I can't find it though...

Cfccbcf3450ac4919311ded8ef162d49

(2312)

on September 29, 2010
at 05:27 PM

hide the fruit snacks and cheese bread. ;-)

A3ff262a2686d79789e09a26013901b3

(1208)

on September 29, 2010
at 05:26 PM

Fruit snacks, not fruit.

A3ff262a2686d79789e09a26013901b3

(1208)

on September 29, 2010
at 05:24 PM

I do most of the cooking and shopping, but whenever my wife goes shopping she brings back junk like cheese bread and fruit snacks. I am starting to get through though, it will just take longer than I expected.

Cfccbcf3450ac4919311ded8ef162d49

(2312)

on September 29, 2010
at 04:37 PM

there's no need to wait until they're older. They're more malleable when they young. Check out everydaypaleo.com. Sarah's young boys are all on board. I've had more success with my youngest 11 than my older one 18 as far as compliance.

A3ff262a2686d79789e09a26013901b3

(1208)

on September 29, 2010
at 04:25 PM

my kids are pretty smart, but have little self control. prime example today was the appearence of the macdonalds monopoly game poster in our morning paper. They can't wait to start playing...not! We usually eat there maybe once or twice a month. Maybe this is an opportunity to teach them how to play with no purchace neccesary.

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9 Answers

7
691f120a3e7a1a036845d105d86c99a3

(3641)

on September 29, 2010
at 03:56 PM

I would increase their quality meat and veggies at meals no matter what but I probably wouldn't be making them coconut milkshakes for them to eat alongside their krispy cremes.

Adding large amounts of fat on top of high sugar or processed carb load will probably result in metabolic derangement.

Moving the family away from clearly agreed upon junk food would be a start. Processed foods and candy and cookies will no longer live in the house for instance. Juice and soda might be replaced by water and tea. Bread might be hard at first. And try to end family pasta and pizza nights.

Living by example is a good motto for life.

5
62ed65f3596aa2f62fa1d58a0c09f8c3

(20807)

on September 29, 2010
at 04:21 PM

YOu can help most by what you cut out instead of what you add. Lessen the grain and sub with rice and potato. Lessen the processed foods. Most nutritionists agree on that one so there should be less resistance from the wife. Cut out the grain oils and replace with healthier fats. You don't have to go whole hog with coconut oil and all the exotic stuff. Using butter is going to be much healtheir than grain oils. Encourage consumption of whole foods. Encourage the use of whole fruit instead of juice. If she must by juice, make sure there are no additives like high fructose corn syrup. Keep the bread low and go with sour dough which is fermented and thus probably less toxic. I would not add a ton of fat in but make sure they are not eating low fat either. I think that would be the safest road. There is still controversy about eating tons of fat. But most agree you need decent fat intake and the fats should be healthy ones. The body requires fat to survive and it requires protein, but carbs are not needed. I would not worry too much about protein. Just keep a good suppply, but most people simply are unwilling to voluntarily overeat on protein. YOu just get sick of it at a certain point and it stops tasting good.

77732bf6bf2b8a360f523ef87c3b7523

(6157)

on September 29, 2010
at 10:36 PM

I sound like a broken record on this. Stop preaching the Paleo message and just get your wife to agree to cut back or eliminate processed foods. If she disagrees with you on this, divorce her. Just joking, kind of. The catch is that bread and pasta are processed foods. =) Also, is she putting up resistance because she doesn't understand the science, or because she's unwilling to make lifestyle changes, or both?

A3ff262a2686d79789e09a26013901b3

(1208)

on September 30, 2010
at 06:16 AM

Her biggest comeback is how come so many nutritionists recomend whole grains and dairy for calcium...etc. So its the verification of the science by a general Consensus of "normal" health proffesionals she relies on and she thinks it will be too restricting. Its a little of both

77732bf6bf2b8a360f523ef87c3b7523

(6157)

on September 30, 2010
at 01:57 PM

How come so many personal trainers recommend high-rep, low-weight exercise for women when it's so much less effective than low-rep, high-weight exercise? Most of the conventional wisdom in nutrition and fitness is just plain wrong. If she doesn't understand that, then you are facing a big uphill battle. In her defense, there are a lot of "unconventional" and yet idiotic nutrition/fitness plans out there, too. Here's the key question: Does your wife understand evolution, and the humans are biological creatures and so subject to evolution? That's where I would start.

77732bf6bf2b8a360f523ef87c3b7523

(6157)

on September 30, 2010
at 02:03 PM

Also, regarding the calcium issue: vitamin D3 and magnesium are more important than calcium, for calcium absorption and retention. Hm, whole grains also interfere with calcium absorption.... Finally, if she can't agree to Paleo because it's too "restrictive" then just cut back on the biggest junk items like cake, sodas, McDonalds, etc. and worry about juice/bread later. Gluten sucks, but not as much as gluten + hydrogenated veg oils + high fructose corn syrup (the big 3 found in many processed foods). Juice is the least of your worries at this point.

4
Cfccbcf3450ac4919311ded8ef162d49

(2312)

on September 29, 2010
at 04:39 PM

Who does the shopping and cooking? If it's you, it'll be easier. If not, well just lead by example and explain to your children why you avoid the foods you do.

62ed65f3596aa2f62fa1d58a0c09f8c3

(20807)

on September 30, 2010
at 03:13 AM

WHen I was a kid, I didn't give a wit of care about 'what was good for me.' That was just some plather the parents where always complaining about! All I cared about was what tasted good. THe only way to have kept me from eating crap was to not have crap available.

A3ff262a2686d79789e09a26013901b3

(1208)

on September 29, 2010
at 05:26 PM

Fruit snacks, not fruit.

A3ff262a2686d79789e09a26013901b3

(1208)

on September 29, 2010
at 05:24 PM

I do most of the cooking and shopping, but whenever my wife goes shopping she brings back junk like cheese bread and fruit snacks. I am starting to get through though, it will just take longer than I expected.

Cfccbcf3450ac4919311ded8ef162d49

(2312)

on September 29, 2010
at 05:27 PM

hide the fruit snacks and cheese bread. ;-)

1
461312f31b933638202e0308ab4011b4

(258)

on January 16, 2011
at 01:48 AM

I would try not to preach or change her, but lead by example. If your wife sees the amazing results you've had on the Paleo diet, perhaps that's all the convincing she'll need? Noone likes to be told what to do (believe me, I know, my husband and I get into Paleo conversations all the time, as he is not). I'm sure your wife want to be healthy herself, and wants the same for your kids. It might take some time, but she might see the Paleo light in due time!That's gotta be hard though :(

Cara http://primroseandpaleo.wordpress.com

1
84666a86108dee8d11cbbc85b6382083

(2399)

on September 29, 2010
at 03:45 PM

Check this thread for some good advice on how to deal with your family.

0
246ebf68e35743f62e5e187891b9cba0

(21430)

on April 29, 2011
at 10:50 AM

My family does more of a WAPF diet whereas I'm paleo. We make all of my son's chicken nuggets and pizza, etc, from scratch.

0
Af43d11d60547c868ccf1e4daccb76ad

on April 28, 2011
at 09:39 PM

I ran into this a little when i started paleo about 2 months ago. My wife saw the results pretty quickly and started to come around after about a month. I would just be patient with her and let her see the benefits over time. She'll come around.

0
D31a2a2d43191b15ca4a1c7ec7d03038

on January 16, 2011
at 09:57 AM

Missionman, I know it can be quite a challenge. I hope these few things will be of some use to you in the puzzle of trying to help loved ones.

One possibility might be to approach thinking about food from the history of family health. What illnesses, allergies, ailments, and health challenges have been present in siblings, parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, great-grandparents, great-aunts and great-uncles, and on back.

Dr. Black Donaldson, who wrote the book, "Strong Medicine", used to ask for a very detailed family health history of each of his patients. His book is very much worth finding and reading.

The saying "You are what your grandparents ate." is common in some circles of thought.


I was able to win the respect of my family for my eating the way I do, by giving them Dr. Richard Bernstein's book, "The Diabetes Solution". His dietary recommendations are very much in line with a Pastoral or Lacto-Paleo WOE. Because of some of the health challenges in my family, they were able to see that eating this way could prevent some of the ailments that befall those who eat sweets, starches, packaged foods, etc.

Here is part of Dr. Bernstein's book online, if it should be of help:

http://www.diabetes-book.com/book/mylife.shtml


I find Dr. Kurt Harris' explanations of what to eat and why very clear, and full of common sense. If it appeals to you, it'd be one more reference to have handy, should there be any interest:

http://www.paleonu.com/get-started/

I wish there were signature lines on this software set up. I would put a link to Dr. Harris' site, and to Dr. Bernstein's in mine.

Best wishes to you.

0
Ef9f83cb4e1826261a44c173f733789e

on September 29, 2010
at 03:54 PM

You can wait until your kids get older and explain it to them when you know they're ready to understand. As they become teenagers and young adults they can start making their own decisions. As for your wife (and other adults for that matter), all you can do is present the science. I've tried that myself with skeptics, and found there are just some people who suffer from inertia.

65125edd5aafad39b3d5b3a8b4a36bb7

(6082)

on September 29, 2010
at 06:17 PM

For EveryDayPaleo - the husband and wife are both on board. When one parent refuses to get on board, it's got to be difficult to influence your children's diet.

Cfccbcf3450ac4919311ded8ef162d49

(2312)

on September 29, 2010
at 04:37 PM

there's no need to wait until they're older. They're more malleable when they young. Check out everydaypaleo.com. Sarah's young boys are all on board. I've had more success with my youngest 11 than my older one 18 as far as compliance.

Cfccbcf3450ac4919311ded8ef162d49

(2312)

on September 30, 2010
at 03:28 AM

David that may be true. It may also be a function of who has more control of the cooking. I thinks my youngest was getting on board before my husband did and she helped police Dad to a degree. Mine are not strictly paleo either when away from home, my youngest makes the best choices when eating out, though.

A3ff262a2686d79789e09a26013901b3

(1208)

on September 29, 2010
at 04:25 PM

my kids are pretty smart, but have little self control. prime example today was the appearence of the macdonalds monopoly game poster in our morning paper. They can't wait to start playing...not! We usually eat there maybe once or twice a month. Maybe this is an opportunity to teach them how to play with no purchace neccesary.

286a4ff7c362241c5c4b020df4972212

(1288)

on September 29, 2010
at 09:59 PM

My kids who are 5,6&8 came on board before my husband . My youngest still does not get it so I don't push he is a hungry kid. But the other 2 got it fast they realized if they ate carbs they got hungry soon after . I showed them how to find the carb content of food and now they check. One of them is even experementing with elimination diets to change outcomes it's amazing to watch . Then my husband came onboard! Kids are not strictly paleo but it's evolving and I am happy for it to take time as long as it's coming from them and it's healthy mentally as well as physically.

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