3

votes

Started to feel better but not look better

Answered on August 19, 2014
Created July 18, 2012 at 6:36 PM

I have started feeling quite awake, something I actually attribute to the prozac I've been taking for the last 2 months, I actually feel like a real person and it's great feeling

The problems is I still hate what I see when I look in the mirror, I still have my dark circles and bad skin, dull hair etc, this is not vanity it's just me wanting to feel good about myself

I will eat whatever it takes to look better but I still don't know what that is!! I eat omega 3 food, liver for vitamin A, lots of eggs and fats etc and I still look worse than all the people I know who subsist on pizza and mcdonalds! Life isn't fair that way! If you hate your body there is something you can do about it, start running, lifting weights, eating right etc, but if you hate your face there's nothing you can do about it :(

Fd70d71f4f8195c3a098eda4fc817d4f

(8014)

on July 19, 2012
at 01:34 PM

Yep -- nothing wrong with a little makeup if it'll make you feel better!

5ccb98f6ae42ce87e206cf3f6a86039f

(11581)

on July 19, 2012
at 09:44 AM

Seriously consider Kelly's comment about dysmorphic disorder. And making sure that you are under a mental health professionals care for therapy not just meds.

03a4ec34751186201a56da298ac843ce

(4100)

on July 19, 2012
at 01:22 AM

That's not true, if you really hate your face, you can have plastic surgery. I am not saying that is the answer, but it is an option

F0e558010a2ecb31fa37b7c491596b8e

(3850)

on July 18, 2012
at 07:49 PM

I'm saying this in the nicest way possible, but your posts show a pattern of pretty intense dysmporphic disorder. Are you seeing a professional (besides just getting a prescription)?

A2e73b869061fc20067e4ef8f26f83f0

(140)

on July 18, 2012
at 07:10 PM

How long have you been at this and what were you eating before? I think some of these changes can take a long time for some people--despite what many of the success stories will lead you to believe.

A2e73b869061fc20067e4ef8f26f83f0

(140)

on July 18, 2012
at 07:08 PM

I hear ya on the life not being fair bit. There are women out there subsisting on Pop Tarts and diet soda who pop out five kids and yet I can't seem to have one. Hell, there are actual CRACK ADDICTS who have kids.

A968087cc1dd66d480749c02e4619ef4

(20436)

on July 18, 2012
at 06:57 PM

How's your sleep?

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4 Answers

6
5ccb98f6ae42ce87e206cf3f6a86039f

(11581)

on July 18, 2012
at 07:22 PM

You think you look worse than "all the people I know who subsist on pizza and mcdonalds" because you're spending way too much time focused on yourself and staring in the mirror. (not that that isn't common in early 20s but you're carrying it to an extreme)

The fact is that lots and lots of people think they look worse than everyone else. They don't. And people aren't sitting around freaking about your appearance. They'll only focus on it if you keep focusing on it. Chill out, get some other interests than skin gazing and spend some time living.

"if you hate your face there's nothing you can do about it" Yes, there is. You can choose to stop hating on yourself. You can choose to think about something else. Now that the meds are kicking in it's time to do that.

3
Fd70d71f4f8195c3a098eda4fc817d4f

(8014)

on July 19, 2012
at 02:13 AM

{{Hugs}} to you, HuntingBears.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Please go easy on yourself, hon.

I think Karen could have been a little gentler in her delivery, but she's right -- can you find something else to do that would take your mind off your appearance for a while? If every single day, you wake up and your very first thought is about how you do or do not look, and how that either does or does not make you a worthy or lovable person, we've got a much bigger problem here than your diet. I'm glad to hear the meds are having a positive effect. Maybe it'll just take a while longer before things really get moving, like Chinaeskimo said. Sounds like your body's been through the wringer. Give it some time to rehabilitate.

I dunno...try to find something productive to do that doesn't involve a mirror and your darkest, most self-critical thoughts. There are much more productive things than this, but how about just reading? Do you have a favorite author? I have never been clinically depressed, so please forgive me if this suggestion is completely naive, but I have had my share of very "bad days." If I can muster the will to leave the house and park my butt at a coffee shop with a good novel for a while, I get immersed in the fictional world and it gets my mind off things. Plus, even though I might not be actively interacting with anyone around me, I think it's slightly healthier to at least be out among the living, so to speak, than holed up in the house alone.

I would encourage you to seek out some good novels and funny or dramatic movies. Maybe even some documentaries about subjects you like or a new subject you want to learn about. Keep your mind active with something other than these harmful thoughts you're having. But for pete's sake, do NOT read books or watch movies about diet & health. You need a break from that.

Would it be possible for you to talk to yourself in a better way? (Believe me, I know it sounds hokey, but the more you do it -- even if you have to force it and fake it at first -- the more second-nature it becomes. Think along the lines of: "Oh, gee, there's that negative thought about my dark circles again. That's okay. Hello, harmful thought. Here you are. I recognized you a mile away. I'm acknowledging you, and now I'm letting you go. I've had you as a thought, but now I'm going to think about something else for a while. You'll come back again, I'm sure, and that's okay. But for right now, I'll focus on how much I like __, or how great it was when _ happened."

Like I said, completely hokey, but it really does help. Not at first. You have to actively practice it and remember to do it at those critical moments. But after long enough, the negative thoughts realize they're not welcome and they start coming around less often. They still come. They always will. But they come less.

3
3351f6c8ec1ea64435e419f380ca6468

(1255)

on July 18, 2012
at 08:43 PM

Be forewarned - this answer is not in line with general Paleo living practices, but is certainly compatible with Paleo eating practices if you are only doing that.

If you hate your face, or if there are specific flaws you'd like to de-emphasize, there are products out there to help you. Undereye concealer, for example, would help with the dark circles. Why not find a place that will do a makeover? If you can't afford the high-end stuff, get reasonable substitutes someplace cheaper, after you've seen the end results.

For your hair - if it's a side-effect of going "no poo", I don't know how long that takes to sort itself out, since I've never had the nerve to try it. If not, try different shampoos until one produces a better result - or if it's an option, try haircolor or highlights.

I think you'd find that a lot of the people subsisting on pizza and McDonalds look pretty awful before they've put their faces on for the day.

Fd70d71f4f8195c3a098eda4fc817d4f

(8014)

on July 19, 2012
at 01:34 PM

Yep -- nothing wrong with a little makeup if it'll make you feel better!

1
03a4ec34751186201a56da298ac843ce

on July 19, 2012
at 01:20 AM

I'm not sure if the comparison is 100% valid, but when I get a malnourished dog into my rescue, it is usually at 3.5-5 months that all the old, dead, dry fur falls out and new beautiful fur starts to grow in. Then you start to see nails growing faster, sometimes old nails breaking off completely, etc etc.

Give it more time. The body heals from the inside out. It will take care of the more important organs before the more superficial ones like skin (hair) etc.

The fact that you are feeling better means you have started the process and are on the right track.

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