2

votes

Physical symptoms of grief

Answered on August 19, 2014
Created July 27, 2012 at 8:18 PM

Without going into too much detail, I lost someone very very dear to me recently. And I haven't been able to do anything but cry for about 5 days. It has been very physically taxing and i spend most hours of the day in a fully tense/flexed sate of weeping or sobbing. I hope it will pass in time.

I have been experiencing a lot of physical pain, and strangely, my muscles feel rock hard and bloated, my calves are swollen and painful to touch. This loss happened in the middle of a dedicated lifting/ strength training program, and I haven't been able to do anything for 5 days, I am a little worried about the state of my body.

I'm trying to take baths and long showers and trying to meditate, but meditation is just a more quiet form of crying at this point.

Is there anything i can do to help with the physical stress i am putting on my body? my neck and shoulders are in constant cramping and pain.

Any advice would help..

Thanks

724f0f45eb53919b8c617c3c1ec5fbc5

(830)

on September 07, 2013
at 01:28 AM

p.s. If there's ever a time for a sleep aid, this is one. I'm not ashamed to admit to relying on Nyquil when I was in a similar state. If I was smarter, I would have gone to the doc for some Ambien or Xanax or something. Grief is so hard on your body, and the not-sleeping just makes it that much harder. All the best to you.

4ef079c57d2140bba4dbf4e30240a645

(4413)

on July 28, 2012
at 07:48 PM

makes sense that you would crave carbs since carbs increase serotonin.

4ef079c57d2140bba4dbf4e30240a645

(4413)

on July 28, 2012
at 01:35 AM

Absolutely agree with doing all that you can to be able to sleep but please try PharmaGABA by Thorne before one of the RX meds mentioned above (or Nyquil). Also 5htp and/or extended release melatonin. Valerian might be very helpful too. Ambien can be a nightmare- literally.

724f0f45eb53919b8c617c3c1ec5fbc5

(830)

on July 28, 2012
at 01:18 AM

I second the suggestion to get a message. And you could try some yoga; classes or videos that are for "restorative" and/or "gentle" yoga are a good bet.

2c7026111493687e2d619c9e20e47915

(693)

on July 27, 2012
at 08:51 PM

I don't have an answer for you, but just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss.

8634d4988ced45a68e2a79e69cc01835

(1617)

on July 27, 2012
at 08:34 PM

I know that feeling. I lost my parents when I was 17, and I was on edge and anxious for a while. I found routine comforting. Just doing my everyday activities let me know that no, the world was NOT ending. Also, talk to people. People are often afraid to talk to you for fear of saying the wrong thing or upsetting you. Talk to them and open up dialogue. Get out of the house too. Don't be alone too much or you just brood. Take walks with yourself or friends to loosen you up.

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11 Answers

6
Medium avatar

on July 27, 2012
at 08:29 PM

I hear you. I've been there too at the beginning of this year. What helped me was taking warm soothing baths and massages. You take magnesium too?

Hang in there!

4ef079c57d2140bba4dbf4e30240a645

(4413)

on July 28, 2012
at 01:35 AM

Absolutely agree with doing all that you can to be able to sleep but please try PharmaGABA by Thorne before one of the RX meds mentioned above (or Nyquil). Also 5htp and/or extended release melatonin. Valerian might be very helpful too. Ambien can be a nightmare- literally.

724f0f45eb53919b8c617c3c1ec5fbc5

(830)

on July 28, 2012
at 01:18 AM

I second the suggestion to get a message. And you could try some yoga; classes or videos that are for "restorative" and/or "gentle" yoga are a good bet.

724f0f45eb53919b8c617c3c1ec5fbc5

(830)

on September 07, 2013
at 01:28 AM

p.s. If there's ever a time for a sleep aid, this is one. I'm not ashamed to admit to relying on Nyquil when I was in a similar state. If I was smarter, I would have gone to the doc for some Ambien or Xanax or something. Grief is so hard on your body, and the not-sleeping just makes it that much harder. All the best to you.

3
Medium avatar

(3213)

on July 27, 2012
at 08:46 PM

Sorry for your loss, i recommend you embracing the feeling, cry, be sad and go through the pain, don't fight it, let the grieving run it's course. Keep eating healthy, you need to nourish your body in this days of strain. I hope you feel better soon

2
1d0497f8781845ab371b479455bfee8e

(11157)

on July 28, 2012
at 01:12 AM

I hope you're not going through this alone!

Physical contact with others can be a huge factor in relieving major physical and emotional stress. Someone who can give you a full hug, hold you while you cry, rub your back, hold your hand, etc. Even just leaning against them while you watch a movie or something can really help.

When you see grieving in tribes, everyone surrounds the bereft, everyone takes care of that person/family until they can get their feet underneath them again.

Lay back in the grass underneath a shady tree. Let the earth balance you. Let all of your grief and pain be absorbed into the ground. I know it sounds a bit metaphysical, but it might help.

1
D460f31ffa93f2b244ee66ba966574b9

(153)

on July 28, 2012
at 04:00 AM

So sorry for your loss! Take as much time as you need to grieve, and remind yourself of all of the good memories you shared with this person!

I noticed that during one of the most stressful events of my life I had an insatiable appetite for carbs. In my case, I had an endless supply of mangoes so I ate to my heart's content which really helped. You end up burning a lot of calories during stress and since you were in the middle of a training program, I imagine your glycogen stores are pretty depleted which may explain the cramping. I would try eating lighter foods like fruits, juices, and veggies during this time.

All the best!

4ef079c57d2140bba4dbf4e30240a645

(4413)

on July 28, 2012
at 07:48 PM

makes sense that you would crave carbs since carbs increase serotonin.

1
98bf2ca7f8778c79cd3f6c962011cfdc

on July 28, 2012
at 03:41 AM

I am so very sorry. Grief is a bitch that's for sure. I am heading for this soon myself. I do a couple of thing. Magnesium seems to help with release of tension. I drink tons of Tulsi tea which definitely helps me relax. I up my carbs. They comfort and relax me. I also try to do a little yoga. When you are up to it and if you have resources a massage would be great. If you do chiropractic get in for an adjustment. It will help.

1
7841848bd0c27c64353c583fb7971242

(7275)

on July 28, 2012
at 03:08 AM

It's important to allow yourself the time and space needed to grieve. I lost my dad a couple of years ago to a very fast-acting cancer, and it turned my life inside out. It took me 9 months to stop crying every day, and over a year to stop dreaming that he was still alive.

Grief felt very similar to (though distinct from) depression, so you might treat it similarly: lots of time with loved ones, rest and meditation like you're doing, exercise, time outdoors, supplement with b-vitamins, zinc, vitamin c, or just make sure to eat liver, etc.

One last thing: I found walking to be very therapeutic for managing and working through the grief. Whether I was lost in thought or listening to soothing (or angry, or what have you) music, I came to depend on that time for solace.

1
1c67bc28f4e44bbb8770b86df0463df3

on July 28, 2012
at 01:09 AM

"And I haven't been able to do anything but cry for about 5 days. It has been very physically taxing and i spend most hours of the day in a fully tense/flexed sate of weeping or sobbing. I hope it will pass in time."

I'm sorry paleo4ever. You need to get out of the house. Go for a walk, go to the woods, a park, someplace where you can get away, anyplace and just start walking. You need to move to feel better. Hope this helps.

1
9a5e2da94ad63ea3186dfa494e16a8d1

on July 28, 2012
at 01:07 AM

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. I lost each of my parents in separate, long, gruelling bouts with cancer, one after the other. The pain was overwhelming and I couldn't imagine it ever subsiding. But it did. Time passes, and the trauma eventually becomes just another event. It takes time and at some point it helps to go for long walks and gain some perspective.

I dare say that, after a long time, there was a slight silver lining in all of the awfulness. My relationships with my remaining loved ones changed for the better after we had all shared a common disaster and realized the value of what we had left.

Hang in there and focus on the positive aspects of your life and take one day at a time!

1
1ea8d17bad42dc54fb7a8a178e3db309

on July 28, 2012
at 12:49 AM

Hi there. It's a good thing to reach out and you can see that people here hear your pain. I'm so sorry that you are going through this... hope you can find more ways to reach out. Hopefully in person as well to people who you can talk to, who will be there for you. Can you find a grief group? Hopsices often have those.

I agree with lots of the others. Just take good care of yourself during this time and feel as you do and let the time pass. I have also heard great things about EFT.

Sending you hugs and prayers across the the Internet.

1
Ce41c230e8c2a4295db31aec3ef4b2ab

(32564)

on July 27, 2012
at 09:13 PM

((Hugs)) My condolences.

All of the above and drink lots.

EFT (acupressure tapping) can help with the shock/stress. Your body symptoms are absolutely normal in the circumstances.

0
4ef079c57d2140bba4dbf4e30240a645

on July 28, 2012
at 01:31 AM

So sorry for your loss.

Mindfulness Based Meditation is very effective for grief and a lot of other things. The CD that comes with this book is excellent (I know that you are not "depressed" per se, so ignore that part of the title. The approach applies to grief for sure). I'm not sure if you can get the CD without buying the book but it would be very helpful to you IMO, as it guides you through the meditations.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Mindful-Way-through-Depression/dp/1593851286

Take good care.

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