Is there a paleo way to deal with ridiculous in-laws?

Answered on August 19, 2014
Created August 02, 2013 at 10:40 AM

Currently dealing with some over-the-top, ridiculously controlling, and hateful inlaws who don't understand the concept of 'compromise' or even comprehend the fact that other people in the world have feelings and thoughts too...

Is there a paleo solution out there for dealing with this?

Can I eat a kale shake and wake up one morning to find that they've become decent human beings?

Or how's about a bulletproof coffee that will make in laws suddenly go away and leave me in peace?

Are there secret HIIT movements that I can perform that will make the in laws melt away like it does to body fat?

Thanks for letting me rant.



on August 02, 2013
at 12:53 PM

Better yet, post it on Facebook and make sure you're in-laws are "friends".



on August 02, 2013
at 12:52 PM

If you want to rant, start a blog or tweet it. Keep PH on topic please. :)



on August 02, 2013
at 12:33 PM

club, head, hair-pull, cave



on August 02, 2013
at 11:07 AM

pick up a spear. or chase them over a cliff.

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on August 02, 2013
at 11:02 AM

I cannot answer in a Paleo way, just from my personal experience.

Here is how to get your in-laws to love and absolutely adore you:

  1. Listen to their bulls#it. No matter how crazy and idiotic it seems, just listen to it with respect and due attentiveness. Make sure to add "Right", "Really" and "Wow! I did not know that! Thanks for telling me!" every once in a while.

  2. Remember their birthdays, buy them presents they like, invite them for Thanksgiving dinner and tell them, "I am so happy you called!" every time they do so. And if you can actually follow my advice, I applaud your determination because it is insanely hard.

  3. Ask them for their advice no matter how trivial your matter might seem. They will LOVE IT!!! Remember, you don't have to follow it (and don't tell them this), just thank them and tell them how grateful you are for everything they do for you.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING: Make them feel liked, appreciated and valued for who they are. It is called "pretend unconditional love".

The only drawback is that they will keep calling you every day, ask you to spend time with you, buy you presents you don't like and don't need and invite you over for dinners. Are you willing to live with the consequences?



on August 02, 2013
at 11:07 AM

pick up a spear. or chase them over a cliff.



on August 02, 2013
at 11:40 AM

There's a simple but difficult to implement solution - avoid them as much as possible, don't make them part of your life, don't eat what they eat, not even to be polite. Say "Thank you, but I'm sorry, that one bite of wheat will damage my gut for a whole month, so if you care about me, you'll understand."

When you go over, offer to cook, or bring food that's not objectionable, or offer to take them out to a restaurant you've already vetted ahead of time.

If you can, move far away from them, perhaps another state. Not easy, I know. But it would keep the visits down to just holidays.

One thing to keep in mind, they think because they're older that they know more, or feel they have to provide a role in your lives. You don't have to accept that, just pretend you do and go your own way.

If they're outright hostile, kick them out and make it clear they're unwelcome until they behave. You don't need the extra stress. Don't waste your life, time, or energy trying to make nice if they're not reciprocating your politeness and respect towards them.


on August 02, 2013
at 11:04 AM

Tell them to get stuffed, closest thing to a Paleo solution.

Grok would have just viscously beat them with his club in a violent rage.


on August 02, 2013
at 04:32 PM

If they are being unreasonable, tell them.

Don't act sulky, or create ultimatums or finalities. Don't say "I can't take this anymore" etc; it simply means you aren't dealing with it appropriately in the moment if you do this.

If someone is being an idiot say "stop", "this is incorrect/wrong/poorly considered" etc and explain why.

Don't get dragged into "you're so xyz", "pqr always does abc" arguments. Let them say that stuff if they want - don't call names or think for a minute that you can't just rationally deal with the situation at hand without calling names or getting upset.

Grok is zen like that. He doesn't mope. He acts.



on August 02, 2013
at 02:21 PM

I've read your blog and know you are keto. Is this animosity involving only you, or are there children involved? Dealing with in-laws becomes exponentially harder when they have grandchildren to smother (just assuming these are your wife's parents you're talking about). VB has the most reasonable solution, but add a #4. Do some BJJ workouts immediately after an interaction and focus on getting the negativity out of your body.


on August 02, 2013
at 12:30 PM

You need to make sure your significant other is aware and they have to tell them to back off. Truth be told however, if they are being like that to you it's because they dont think you are good enough and there is nothing you can do, short of creating a miracle they can not deny, to change that.

I find that if you are upfront and confront them, just come out and ask them what the problem is, things will tend to get better... sort of a respect thing, but it may never get good for you.

It is really important though for your significant other to step up and say something to them and not just a reactionary comment when something is happening, but alone with them when things are not heated and he/she could actually talk with them.

If that doesn't work just take Grok's advice and find a good strong club to beat them with!!!

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