13

votes

PaleoHacks Haiku Competition! Who wants to play?

Asked on January 11, 2015
Created May 24, 2012 at 3:08 AM

Ok gang,

Impress me with your gluten free creativity and let's have a haiku competition.

The winner gets Kamal Patels voice on their home answering machine.

Again in case you forgot the haiku class in emelentary school, they go like this:

Haikus consist of three lines, consisting of five, seven and five syllables respectively.

Ex.

Haikus are easy,

Sometimes they do not make sense,

Refrigerator.

alt text

E7adfe31507efb7c935f618a829f56d6

(1507)

on May 25, 2012
at 02:40 AM

I don't understand/Is this a reference to Kruse?/It needs ellipses...

E7adfe31507efb7c935f618a829f56d6

(1507)

on May 25, 2012
at 02:28 AM

Paleo haiku?/Poems are neolithic!/Time to drive home now.

E7adfe31507efb7c935f618a829f56d6

(1507)

on May 25, 2012
at 02:27 AM

Paleo haiku?
Poems are neolithic!
Time to drive home now.

7cf9f5b08a41ecf2a2d2bc0b31ea6fa0

(4176)

on May 24, 2012
at 11:07 PM

Annika that made laugh haha

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 10:09 PM

"Vegetarian", is Native American, word for "bad hunter".

Bcb2f5436d11467e89123680c046b858

(1356)

on May 24, 2012
at 09:38 PM

Still love Mark Sisson / He popped my primal cherry / Now: paleo slut.

Bcb2f5436d11467e89123680c046b858

(1356)

on May 24, 2012
at 09:37 PM

Still love Mark Sisson He popped my primal cherry Now: paleo slut.

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 07:20 PM

Vegetarian, is Native American, word for bad hunter.

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 05:36 PM

Paleohacks newbie, I am. Talk like Yoda, I do. Give now, me votes please.

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 05:35 PM

Paleohacks newbie, I am. Talk like Yoda, I do. Now give me votes please.

E7adfe31507efb7c935f618a829f56d6

(1507)

on May 24, 2012
at 05:05 PM

mark sisson! great start!/cordain was my start and then/Mark said fat's okay!

E7adfe31507efb7c935f618a829f56d6

(1507)

on May 24, 2012
at 05:03 PM

LOLOL. omigod i'm rolling. I dunno if i should keep reading, i might hurt something.

E7adfe31507efb7c935f618a829f56d6

(1507)

on May 24, 2012
at 05:01 PM

LOLOLOLOL....sigh.

E7adfe31507efb7c935f618a829f56d6

(1507)

on May 24, 2012
at 05:00 PM

Kashi: dead to me. AHAHAHAHHAHHA. yes, there was a time I thought that was the perfect food. sigh.

E7adfe31507efb7c935f618a829f56d6

(1507)

on May 24, 2012
at 04:59 PM

LOVE the "refrigerator" tag, lol. Also "thinnerstrength"--very clever.

7cf9f5b08a41ecf2a2d2bc0b31ea6fa0

(4176)

on May 24, 2012
at 04:37 PM

good idea you guys / I will try mark sisson first / and see how i go

246ebf68e35743f62e5e187891b9cba0

(21420)

on May 24, 2012
at 12:24 PM

^ i.e. I think that newbs are better off getting a book from one guru, following it, then using the "hacks" here to augment after they have the basics.

246ebf68e35743f62e5e187891b9cba0

(21420)

on May 24, 2012
at 12:23 PM

You should get a book / You can follow that book too / Come back in a year.

7e36094a0f7a2fbad24290225405220b

(2064)

on May 24, 2012
at 08:38 AM

Love these two!

B1c65edef6f7f9379c7a9272e30586da

(314)

on May 24, 2012
at 05:20 AM

hahaha! nice one.

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 05:01 AM

any grass-finished beef?/ should cod liver be fermented?/ is it hyper-palatable?

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 04:59 AM

A Burrito please/ but without the wrap. No beans./ Thanks, no chips either

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 04:56 AM

Hello! It's a nightshade/ how local is it really?/ Drown it in butter

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 04:54 AM

Um, is this grass-fed? / Add gelatin to your tea/ start drinking bone broth

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 04:50 AM

beef and brocolli/ it is the sweetest form of/ orthorexia - Alfredo

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 04:46 AM

Kerry Gold Butter, Checking my poop for ketones, Let's Call It A Day. - Thomas Seay

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 04:40 AM

Oh tasty morsel/ tell me not your nutrients/ I am only a beast/ -Alexander

F0e558010a2ecb31fa37b7c491596b8e

(3850)

on May 24, 2012
at 04:32 AM

Love the refrigerator tag.

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 04:32 AM

Paleohacks is boring/ Let's have another Kruse thread/ To end the snoring.

B1c65edef6f7f9379c7a9272e30586da

(314)

on May 24, 2012
at 04:22 AM

it is now late spring / Kent Cowgill please don't read this / Kent Cowgill read this.

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 04:22 AM

Turn frown upside down/ Cause we still love you Kamal/ Sorry we hacked your balls

Medium avatar

(10663)

on May 24, 2012
at 04:21 AM

But now we know you're a Lisa Loeb fan.

21fd060d0796fdb8a4a990441e08eae7

(24543)

on May 24, 2012
at 04:17 AM

too many syllables. haiku fail :(

21fd060d0796fdb8a4a990441e08eae7

(24543)

on May 24, 2012
at 04:17 AM

.....so .

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 04:16 AM

Paleohacks is boring./ Let's have another Kruse thread,/ To end the snoring.

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 04:16 AM

Paleohacks is boring Let's have another Kruse thread To end the snoring

07ca188c8dac3a17f629dd87198d2098

(7970)

on May 24, 2012
at 04:13 AM

Don't forget that it's traditional to reference a season, and there's usually a juxtaposition of two images or ideas.

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 04:01 AM

Will do anything/ for paleohacks up votes/ Except maybe that

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 03:57 AM

Mmmmmm..... Braaaaains/ muuust eeeat arrrre deliiiiiiciiiioooous / PaleoApproved? Pendergrass!!!

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 03:47 AM

It's soy paleo!/ said Kamal on Facebook today/ Paleo gurus not impressed

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 03:41 AM

Very smart answer/ It's unfortunately true/ are starches really safe?

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 03:36 AM

Harry Truman, Doris Day / Red China Johnny Ray / Kruse didn't start the fire

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 03:35 AM

Harry Truman, Doris Day / Red China and Johnny Ray / Kruse didn't start the fire

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 03:33 AM

Harry Truman, Doris Day Red China and Johnny Ray Kruse didn't start the fire

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18 Answers

11
65bf1ca7071028018c6d8305d0ddcd76

(3049)

on May 24, 2012
at 05:40 AM

Is this Paleo? / if you have to ask me, well / the answer is no

Enjoy most whole foods / avoid grains, sugar, gluten / and get enough rest

E7adfe31507efb7c935f618a829f56d6

(1507)

on May 25, 2012
at 02:27 AM

Paleo haiku?
Poems are neolithic!
Time to drive home now.

7e36094a0f7a2fbad24290225405220b

(2064)

on May 24, 2012
at 08:38 AM

Love these two!

E7adfe31507efb7c935f618a829f56d6

(1507)

on May 25, 2012
at 02:28 AM

Paleo haiku?/Poems are neolithic!/Time to drive home now.

10
Medium avatar

(10663)

on May 24, 2012
at 04:17 AM

You can keep your bread
Gimme some bacon instead
Is that beef grass-fed?

And mine rhymes too saywhutttt

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 05:01 AM

any grass-finished beef?/ should cod liver be fermented?/ is it hyper-palatable?

10
07ca188c8dac3a17f629dd87198d2098

(7970)

on May 24, 2012
at 04:10 AM

cinnamon, sugar / toasted white bread, margarine / falling health, like leaves

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 04:56 AM

Hello! It's a nightshade/ how local is it really?/ Drown it in butter

9
246ebf68e35743f62e5e187891b9cba0

(21420)

on May 24, 2012
at 12:14 PM

Paleohacks is
Community based around
Mostly poop questions

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 05:36 PM

Paleohacks newbie, I am. Talk like Yoda, I do. Give now, me votes please.

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 05:35 PM

Paleohacks newbie, I am. Talk like Yoda, I do. Now give me votes please.

E7adfe31507efb7c935f618a829f56d6

(1507)

on May 24, 2012
at 05:01 PM

LOLOLOLOL....sigh.

9
B1c65edef6f7f9379c7a9272e30586da

(314)

on May 24, 2012
at 03:33 AM

Do not Overlook / the Elephant in the Room / Orthorexia

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 03:41 AM

Very smart answer/ It's unfortunately true/ are starches really safe?

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 04:50 AM

beef and brocolli/ it is the sweetest form of/ orthorexia - Alfredo

8
21fd060d0796fdb8a4a990441e08eae7

(24543)

on May 24, 2012
at 04:17 AM

You say I only

hear what I want to. You say

I act so Dr. Oz

21fd060d0796fdb8a4a990441e08eae7

(24543)

on May 24, 2012
at 04:17 AM

.....so .

E7adfe31507efb7c935f618a829f56d6

(1507)

on May 24, 2012
at 05:03 PM

LOLOL. omigod i'm rolling. I dunno if i should keep reading, i might hurt something.

21fd060d0796fdb8a4a990441e08eae7

(24543)

on May 24, 2012
at 04:17 AM

too many syllables. haiku fail :(

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 04:22 AM

Turn frown upside down/ Cause we still love you Kamal/ Sorry we hacked your balls

Medium avatar

(10663)

on May 24, 2012
at 04:21 AM

But now we know you're a Lisa Loeb fan.

7
0607529af9b78bb5b178f7ffabdc4693

on May 24, 2012
at 05:47 AM

This should be simple
Expansion begets strangeness
A tub full of ice

E7adfe31507efb7c935f618a829f56d6

(1507)

on May 25, 2012
at 02:40 AM

I don't understand/Is this a reference to Kruse?/It needs ellipses...

7
F5f742cc9228eb5804114d0f3be4e587

(7660)

on May 24, 2012
at 04:03 AM

There once was a gal from Schmitting

Who ate a whole cow in one sitting

Liver, brains, pancreas too

Until erupted a startling moo

Not to mention the hooves she was...


Oh, sorry. Wrong form!

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 04:59 AM

A Burrito please/ but without the wrap. No beans./ Thanks, no chips either

7
A97b68379a576dfa764a4828304d2efb

(4181)

on May 24, 2012
at 03:22 AM

Feeling amazing / Likely the lamb tongue and eggs / Kashi: dead to me.

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 03:47 AM

It's soy paleo!/ said Kamal on Facebook today/ Paleo gurus not impressed

E7adfe31507efb7c935f618a829f56d6

(1507)

on May 24, 2012
at 05:00 PM

Kashi: dead to me. AHAHAHAHHAHHA. yes, there was a time I thought that was the perfect food. sigh.

5
D30ff86ad2c1f3b43b99aed213bcf461

on May 24, 2012
at 12:04 PM

Over Thanksgiving

Politics and religion

Just don't bring up food

5
B1c65edef6f7f9379c7a9272e30586da

(314)

on May 24, 2012
at 03:48 AM

Zombie Utopic- / Lo! Hordes of Free-Range Humans! / Lovely Juicy Brains

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 03:57 AM

Mmmmmm..... Braaaaains/ muuust eeeat arrrre deliiiiiiciiiioooous / PaleoApproved? Pendergrass!!!

4
194d8e8140425057fe06202e1e5822a7

(3979)

on May 24, 2012
at 04:12 PM

A good source of fat? / Avocados are divine. / Protein? Wild salmon.

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 07:20 PM

Vegetarian, is Native American, word for bad hunter.

4
F0e558010a2ecb31fa37b7c491596b8e

(3850)

on May 24, 2012
at 04:29 AM

They say eat whole grains,

and shun saturated fat.

We just Eat Real Food.

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 04:54 AM

Um, is this grass-fed? / Add gelatin to your tea/ start drinking bone broth

3
D1728f99db66ff91d695a6df5cd38b02

(1368)

on May 24, 2012
at 08:48 PM

I am wide awake

After I eat my lunch now

No more food coma!

3
E7adfe31507efb7c935f618a829f56d6

on May 24, 2012
at 05:25 PM

grass-fed rib eye steak/ keeps my waste very tiny/ with bodacious cheeks ;)

Marilyn Monroe/ The best modern cave woman?/ she loved to eat meat

body comp is great/ but health is more important/ I feel amazing

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 10:09 PM

"Vegetarian", is Native American, word for "bad hunter".

3
7cf9f5b08a41ecf2a2d2bc0b31ea6fa0

on May 24, 2012
at 12:11 PM

Paleo hacks is / bad for newbs to the lifestyle / it complicates things

Paleo has yet / to make me look or feel good / I hope it does soon

246ebf68e35743f62e5e187891b9cba0

(21420)

on May 24, 2012
at 12:24 PM

^ i.e. I think that newbs are better off getting a book from one guru, following it, then using the "hacks" here to augment after they have the basics.

7cf9f5b08a41ecf2a2d2bc0b31ea6fa0

(4176)

on May 24, 2012
at 04:37 PM

good idea you guys / I will try mark sisson first / and see how i go

246ebf68e35743f62e5e187891b9cba0

(21420)

on May 24, 2012
at 12:23 PM

You should get a book / You can follow that book too / Come back in a year.

7cf9f5b08a41ecf2a2d2bc0b31ea6fa0

(4176)

on May 24, 2012
at 11:07 PM

Annika that made laugh haha

Bcb2f5436d11467e89123680c046b858

(1356)

on May 24, 2012
at 09:38 PM

Still love Mark Sisson / He popped my primal cherry / Now: paleo slut.

E7adfe31507efb7c935f618a829f56d6

(1507)

on May 24, 2012
at 05:05 PM

mark sisson! great start!/cordain was my start and then/Mark said fat's okay!

Bcb2f5436d11467e89123680c046b858

(1356)

on May 24, 2012
at 09:37 PM

Still love Mark Sisson He popped my primal cherry Now: paleo slut.

3
B1c65edef6f7f9379c7a9272e30586da

(314)

on May 24, 2012
at 04:39 AM

1 2 3 4 5 / 1 2 3 4 5 6 8 / unhappy 7...

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 04:46 AM

Kerry Gold Butter, Checking my poop for ketones, Let's Call It A Day. - Thomas Seay

B1c65edef6f7f9379c7a9272e30586da

(314)

on May 24, 2012
at 05:20 AM

hahaha! nice one.

3
B1c65edef6f7f9379c7a9272e30586da

(314)

on May 24, 2012
at 03:27 AM

disclaimers aside / Harris, Guyenet, Sisson / are names of Gurus.

not very funny, I'll do better...

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 03:36 AM

Harry Truman, Doris Day / Red China Johnny Ray / Kruse didn't start the fire

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 03:33 AM

Harry Truman, Doris Day Red China and Johnny Ray Kruse didn't start the fire

43f469552cfd3be73fc88a9821b14986

on May 24, 2012
at 03:35 AM

Harry Truman, Doris Day / Red China and Johnny Ray / Kruse didn't start the fire

Answer Question


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Paleo For Beginners Guide & 15 FREE Recipes!