3

votes

Hack how awful I'm feeling

Answered on August 19, 2014
Created February 01, 2012 at 2:51 AM

Female 23, 58kg (probably gained since last). Waist 72cm. Looking out of shape with a distinct apple figure (more like chicken figure). Removed Implanon two months ago, regained a little bit of libido. Still no period, or actual libido and everything disgusts me. Incredible cravings for carbs and especially very doughy things.

Typical menu:
Lots of butter and lard and coconut oil
Chicken, salmon, mackerel, beef, pork
Broccoli, spinach, salad, garlic, onion and other types of low carb veggies.

Multivitamineral, 3-type magnesium, vit D, zinc, Fish oil, vit K, L-glutamine

I've been gaining weight around my middle and behind and I'm completely unable to lose it. I can't relax with breathing exercises or meditation or films. I go for regular walks and move around quite a bit, but exercising absolutely kills me lately, but it can't all be due to lack of exercise.

I look very worn out with dark circles around my eyes and my skin is not well and feels loose. I have no interest in anything and I can't laugh. I take everything seriously. I have lots of energy, but no interest in doing anything with it. Everything bores me. I can't stand listening to people and I can't think of anything to say. My face is always dead-pan.

I don't recognize myself at all! I'm completely apathetic and don't care how things go anymore, since I stressed myself out over my academic results and high work morale. I used to be very easy going, but now I'm like a bridezilla and everything needs to be perfect and clean.

Very afraid of going to the doctor. I'm paranoid about them thinking I'm hypochondriac. They usually do. The standard bloodwork came back normal, includng T3, T4 and TSH, but haven't had other hormones checked.

I haven't taken care of my looks for a few months, while I used to be very vain. My hair is good and my skin isn't oily, but it looks very worn out. I don't get sick at all, and my mite allergy disappeared all of a sudden.

I have started smoking again since two days ago and drink in the middle of the day and eat bread like crazy. None of these things relax me. I can't sleep, but I'm in bed all day like a whale. It hasn't made any change in how I feel. I don't feel worse or better.

I always wake up feeling tired, but I jump up and run around anyway. I just don't feel refreshed.

I have checked symptoms for high cortisol, and even though a lot of things match, I don't particularly feel stressed.

Appreciate your time and answer. It'd be very nice if it's not along the lines of "exercise more" or "up your fats" or "relax". I've been searching for answers extensively. Also, part-taking in a hobby is a very good idea, but I've lost interest in all my hobbies :(

Thank you

EDIT: Thank you all for the response! It helped tremendously. I have decided to make a big change in life and steer off the current education path I was on in pursuit of a traveling freelance nomad lifestyle! I also started taking Cortisol Manager two days ago and it has helped in making me more relaxed and productive and happier, so I don't feel like a headless chicken anymore.

518bce04b12cd77741237e1f61075194

(11577)

on February 10, 2012
at 03:06 AM

Check out some Saint John's Wort preparations- I am extremely skeptical of herbal "medicine", but this has shown very promising trials, and might be worth a shot in the meantime. I have been on various anti-depressants for 6 years, and have recently started taking this and self dosing. It seems to help, whether by placebo or mechanism, and I'm fine with either being the reason.

Fb67dc30cead043d1d13ea503a3044dc

(3280)

on February 10, 2012
at 01:41 AM

Charlotte, thank you for the notion of framing exercise as medicine that you'd never not take. This is a great way to view it, esp with depression! I'm going to adopt it. I think it will be a great help. :)

87b7d250ea30415ed4c1afd809f4053f

(968)

on February 03, 2012
at 02:42 PM

I'm getting my implanon out in the next week or so. I put weight on with the first, got a gut with my second and in hinesight I think it may have made me a bit depressed/hormonal cow/stressed. I don't know why I went back for a third, but the third confirmed everything I was feeling as I suddenly was ravenous all the time and teary too. I found a forum the other day and there are literally thousands of women saying the same. An aha moment for me. Here's the forum http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/board/implanon-contraceptive-implant-weight-loss-after-remova-t57755.html

3f3236d1f951d4b4c25eff387699a905

(554)

on February 02, 2012
at 12:47 PM

I gain weight no matter what and it all goes to the wrong places. I usually don't eat lunch since not hungry, but tried VLC to lose weight and it made me rather depressed. As sion as I eat carbs, I start to puff up like a blowfish. It might be low D or stress, since I do kind of dream about tropical islands every night lol. I try to get some sun but the winter sun here just doesn't do it for me. It feels a bit strange to pop 40 vitamin pills to get to 4k! I do feel depressed, I just don't know what in my body that is causing it. Thank you for the help!

F15e0bae42dbf0b8cfc71e62902497b4

(2036)

on February 02, 2012
at 07:42 AM

just don't mix em or combine them with RX antidepressants ok?

3f3236d1f951d4b4c25eff387699a905

(554)

on February 02, 2012
at 12:18 AM

Well I told the good doctor that I'm having memory problems and not feeling so well in general, he wanted to scan for a tumour. Not that much of a hypochondriac! Haha. They always want to do the opposite of what I'm feeling I need. Both my T3 and T4 are much closer to the low end than the high.

3f3236d1f951d4b4c25eff387699a905

(554)

on February 02, 2012
at 12:15 AM

Thank you. Calories range between 1200 to 3000 depending on hunger levels. I don't aim at anything specifically.

193b7fb0fec8913d5ebb3b99a04d21c6

(2918)

on February 01, 2012
at 09:00 PM

Love the idea of adopting a dog, such a great thing to do. I hear you on the facebook thing too.

E34fbfa1bca9ae970c9c7313bf9de9f8

(1436)

on February 01, 2012
at 08:57 PM

I think you need more starchy carbs. From what I can tell you are eating VLC. This made me feel like crap, I suspect you may be the same. Try adding in small quantities of safe starches at first and see if you feel any better. When I did this I noticed a near immediate improvement in mood. Fix your mood first, then weight loss (if that's your goal).

3f3236d1f951d4b4c25eff387699a905

(554)

on February 01, 2012
at 07:39 AM

Heh I worked my *** off to for some money but now that's been at the expense of my health, I really don't care. I'd pay all of it for 1. expensive supplements 2. King Kong to lift me out of here and put me on a tropical island. Haven't heard of Sam-E, will definitely check it out and also try to find St.John's Wort since two people have recommended it now. Thank you.

3f3236d1f951d4b4c25eff387699a905

(554)

on February 01, 2012
at 07:36 AM

So far I've ordered cortisol manager to see if that's my problem. Very intrigued by St John's wort! I'll see if I can find it at the drug store. Don't take any pills except for supplements. But you might be on the money with the Implanon, it has surely messed me up and that makes me even more depressed haha

3f3236d1f951d4b4c25eff387699a905

(554)

on February 01, 2012
at 07:30 AM

Calcium is included in my vitamineral, and it came back normal from the test. I take about 3 tablets of 140iu Vit D per day and although it's winter, there is still sun here. The sun helps a little. I do take K2 separately, and it has helped my hair and nails and made my skin less oily. I took E before but it didn't do anything at all. I'll try more carbs, thanks :)

1c67bc28f4e44bbb8770b86df0463df3

(6719)

on February 01, 2012
at 05:51 AM

While you sound depressed, most if not all of your symtpoms can be caused by the following. Too low carbohydrate intake. Vitamin D deficiency along with Calcium. In fact, I would bet $100 you have low D levels and also are losing calcium (since your not getting any in your diet). Vitamin A/k/E are also low I bet. Chromium could be low too. IMO, take 10,000iu vit D, and a good multi vitamin, and add in some carbs, preferably after doing something strenuous. Try a carb up and vitamin day and see how that makes you feel. The worse that could happen? Nothing.

1c67bc28f4e44bbb8770b86df0463df3

(6719)

on February 01, 2012
at 05:50 AM

While you sound depressed, most if not all of your symtpoms can be caused by the following. Too low carbohydrate intake. Vitamin D deficiency along with Calcium. In fact, I would bet $100 you have low D levels and also are losing calcium (since your not getting any in your diet). Vitamin A/k/E are also low I bet. Chromium could be low too. IMO, take 10,000iu vit D, and a good multi vitamin, and add in some carbs, preferably after doing something strenuous. Try a carb up and vitamin day and see how that makes you feel. If that fails, join fight club, it has worked well for many of us.

1096aa84d006fe967128ffbd37e8070e

(1002)

on February 01, 2012
at 05:38 AM

tatty, thanks, and I commend you for realizing you don't have the space in your life for a dog right now. It's a total commitment, and just adds more stress if you're not ready. harlekini, you sound funny and I'm rooting for you!!

3f3236d1f951d4b4c25eff387699a905

(554)

on February 01, 2012
at 05:27 AM

Oh puppy yummy sounds delish! Haha. Seriously it'd kill me with it's cuteness and I wouldn't know what do with it, so I'm scared I'd eat it. I'm considering a pug at the moment, thanks for the encouragement! Will definitely get one. I feel rather accomplished, so other's facebooks don't bother me, except for in the body department. I'd really love to be able to turn my attention to something else! And maybe it's a good idea with carbs ;) I'll try that.

3f3236d1f951d4b4c25eff387699a905

(554)

on February 01, 2012
at 05:24 AM

Generally no. Once in a blue moon perhaps. Maybe once every three months. I don't go out much. Up until now I've had too much to do, so no time to go out. Now I've given up going to school and resigned from work (was throwing 80 hour weeks). Not really feeling sexy enough to go out for a drink.

3f3236d1f951d4b4c25eff387699a905

(554)

on February 01, 2012
at 05:22 AM

Perhaps CBT might help. I've had friends who have had great progress with it. Hope I can find the courage to try and convince the doctor that it might do me good

0d83a31f4066514252a2b6fb81f05b48

(907)

on February 01, 2012
at 05:13 AM

love that you adopted a dog - especially one from a shelter. Desperately wish I could do this myself but unfortunately living situation doesn't allow for pets and I don't yet feel I could adequately give the attention a dog would need at this point in my recovery yet. Really like your suggestions =)

1096aa84d006fe967128ffbd37e8070e

(1002)

on February 01, 2012
at 04:34 AM

+1 for being so honest.

0d83a31f4066514252a2b6fb81f05b48

(907)

on February 01, 2012
at 04:20 AM

I truly sympathize with struggling to put what seems like one's burdensome issues on friends/family/specialists- i've been there/am there. But what you are experiencing not something one should have to face on their own. You don't not deserve dismissal! Medication can sometimes be helpful and make a huge difference - my attitude is that drugs are no answer but can be a safety net when one is in real despair that allows you to go on and do the real work to beat the illness. Talking is vital - I can't stress how much CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) can bring change. Wish I could help more.

3f3236d1f951d4b4c25eff387699a905

(554)

on February 01, 2012
at 03:07 AM

Thank you. I am quite depressed. In a foreign country, so I miss my friends and family etc, but I also dread going back and meeting them since it would mean expectations = stress. I'm very poor at getting help from professionals since they always dismiss me and I go out of the office empty handed/with bogus prescriptions for symptoms rather than for causes :/

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9 Answers

7
0d83a31f4066514252a2b6fb81f05b48

(907)

on February 01, 2012
at 03:03 AM

It sounds very much like you could be experiencing depression. I'd recommend either asking your doctor or looking into a psychologist/psychiatrist. It sounds like you are doing everything possible to feel better but having gone through mental illness myself I can say sometimes you just need more than that to get through.

3f3236d1f951d4b4c25eff387699a905

(554)

on February 01, 2012
at 05:22 AM

Perhaps CBT might help. I've had friends who have had great progress with it. Hope I can find the courage to try and convince the doctor that it might do me good

3f3236d1f951d4b4c25eff387699a905

(554)

on February 01, 2012
at 03:07 AM

Thank you. I am quite depressed. In a foreign country, so I miss my friends and family etc, but I also dread going back and meeting them since it would mean expectations = stress. I'm very poor at getting help from professionals since they always dismiss me and I go out of the office empty handed/with bogus prescriptions for symptoms rather than for causes :/

0d83a31f4066514252a2b6fb81f05b48

(907)

on February 01, 2012
at 04:20 AM

I truly sympathize with struggling to put what seems like one's burdensome issues on friends/family/specialists- i've been there/am there. But what you are experiencing not something one should have to face on their own. You don't not deserve dismissal! Medication can sometimes be helpful and make a huge difference - my attitude is that drugs are no answer but can be a safety net when one is in real despair that allows you to go on and do the real work to beat the illness. Talking is vital - I can't stress how much CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) can bring change. Wish I could help more.

518bce04b12cd77741237e1f61075194

(11577)

on February 10, 2012
at 03:06 AM

Check out some Saint John's Wort preparations- I am extremely skeptical of herbal "medicine", but this has shown very promising trials, and might be worth a shot in the meantime. I have been on various anti-depressants for 6 years, and have recently started taking this and self dosing. It seems to help, whether by placebo or mechanism, and I'm fine with either being the reason.

6
1096aa84d006fe967128ffbd37e8070e

(1002)

on February 01, 2012
at 04:56 AM

I feel like any way I put this answer it's going to sound so lame....but, I dance on the edge of depression often in my adult life, and my lifesavers have been:

adopting a dog from the shelter and making it a priority to get out and walk every day. I am always glad I did, even on the days I really didn't want too.

volunteering and focusing on others' problems/solutions.

closing my facebook account so I don't have to hear how AMAZING everyone wants me to think their life is.

I just read that you are in a foreign country. Maybe you need the facebook thing, to keep in touch. Isolation is a depression no-no! If nothing helps, I hope you do try to find a therapist or doctor who can hear what you are really saying and will address your problems effectively! And, try to add some good carbs! There is a lot of great info on here about that. I wish you good luck.

3f3236d1f951d4b4c25eff387699a905

(554)

on February 01, 2012
at 05:27 AM

Oh puppy yummy sounds delish! Haha. Seriously it'd kill me with it's cuteness and I wouldn't know what do with it, so I'm scared I'd eat it. I'm considering a pug at the moment, thanks for the encouragement! Will definitely get one. I feel rather accomplished, so other's facebooks don't bother me, except for in the body department. I'd really love to be able to turn my attention to something else! And maybe it's a good idea with carbs ;) I'll try that.

1096aa84d006fe967128ffbd37e8070e

(1002)

on February 01, 2012
at 05:38 AM

tatty, thanks, and I commend you for realizing you don't have the space in your life for a dog right now. It's a total commitment, and just adds more stress if you're not ready. harlekini, you sound funny and I'm rooting for you!!

193b7fb0fec8913d5ebb3b99a04d21c6

(2918)

on February 01, 2012
at 09:00 PM

Love the idea of adopting a dog, such a great thing to do. I hear you on the facebook thing too.

0d83a31f4066514252a2b6fb81f05b48

(907)

on February 01, 2012
at 05:13 AM

love that you adopted a dog - especially one from a shelter. Desperately wish I could do this myself but unfortunately living situation doesn't allow for pets and I don't yet feel I could adequately give the attention a dog would need at this point in my recovery yet. Really like your suggestions =)

3
D5a4ff096a452a84a772efa0e6bc626e

(2486)

on February 01, 2012
at 05:31 AM

You sound chemically/clinically depressed. I've so been there! Exercise, sun, food, etc are great for keeping me happy, but not digging out of the hole.

The three things i've found useful at various points are: 1) sam-E 2) 5-htp 3) St. John's wort. TRY ANY ONE OF THEM- DON'T STACK THEM! That list is most effective to least effective for me, although I take 5-htp longterm instead of sam-E since it's cheaper.

F15e0bae42dbf0b8cfc71e62902497b4

(2036)

on February 02, 2012
at 07:42 AM

just don't mix em or combine them with RX antidepressants ok?

3f3236d1f951d4b4c25eff387699a905

(554)

on February 01, 2012
at 07:39 AM

Heh I worked my *** off to for some money but now that's been at the expense of my health, I really don't care. I'd pay all of it for 1. expensive supplements 2. King Kong to lift me out of here and put me on a tropical island. Haven't heard of Sam-E, will definitely check it out and also try to find St.John's Wort since two people have recommended it now. Thank you.

2
912ec069b5bd84af1b6ef7545b950908

on February 01, 2012
at 08:19 PM

Folks above have good answers -- I'm really sympathetic to the situation you describe. It sounds a lot like some of my depressive symptoms, although our experiences are no doubt quite different.

A couple of thoughts -- my thyroid levels were in the 'normal' range but they were at the low end. I benefited a lot from taking Levothyroxine (can't remember if that's t-3 or t-4, sorry.) Some docs believe that this is an okay thing to do, others stick very closely to the "normal" range found in textbooks.

About exercise -- sometimes the only thing that motivates me to go to the gym is reminding myself that I wouldn't ever just not take my meds because I don't feel like it. Exercise IS medicine to me. On my worst days, sometimes the only exercise I get is walking the dog, or walking the dog and then riding a stationary bike at a slow pace. But I do it because, again, I think of it as being like medicine. Don't know if that idea would be helpful to you or not.

(My pound puppy is also a huge help, although mostly with anxiety and with short-circuiting some of my suicidal thinking.)

3f3236d1f951d4b4c25eff387699a905

(554)

on February 02, 2012
at 12:18 AM

Well I told the good doctor that I'm having memory problems and not feeling so well in general, he wanted to scan for a tumour. Not that much of a hypochondriac! Haha. They always want to do the opposite of what I'm feeling I need. Both my T3 and T4 are much closer to the low end than the high.

Fb67dc30cead043d1d13ea503a3044dc

(3280)

on February 10, 2012
at 01:41 AM

Charlotte, thank you for the notion of framing exercise as medicine that you'd never not take. This is a great way to view it, esp with depression! I'm going to adopt it. I think it will be a great help. :)

2
87b7d250ea30415ed4c1afd809f4053f

on February 01, 2012
at 05:35 AM

Implanon can really mess some people up.

Have you considered trying some herbs such as vitex, or evening primrose? Both can be beneficial in balancing your hormones/mood but can take up to 2 months to show an improvement. If you can find a local herbal remedy shop, ask them to blend some vitex and st john's wort together into a tea and try 2-3 cups a day (don't take the st john's wort if you are on antidepressants though) and take evening primrose in capsule form. Goodluck :)

3f3236d1f951d4b4c25eff387699a905

(554)

on February 01, 2012
at 07:36 AM

So far I've ordered cortisol manager to see if that's my problem. Very intrigued by St John's wort! I'll see if I can find it at the drug store. Don't take any pills except for supplements. But you might be on the money with the Implanon, it has surely messed me up and that makes me even more depressed haha

87b7d250ea30415ed4c1afd809f4053f

(968)

on February 03, 2012
at 02:42 PM

I'm getting my implanon out in the next week or so. I put weight on with the first, got a gut with my second and in hinesight I think it may have made me a bit depressed/hormonal cow/stressed. I don't know why I went back for a third, but the third confirmed everything I was feeling as I suddenly was ravenous all the time and teary too. I found a forum the other day and there are literally thousands of women saying the same. An aha moment for me. Here's the forum http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/board/implanon-contraceptive-implant-weight-loss-after-remova-t57755.html

1
Ef31d612a661d9fcb19c8965d3a2bd12

(533)

on February 01, 2012
at 08:41 PM

I would think a Perfect Health Diet style intervention may be worthwhile. Also, you list the fats first, you might want to run a calorie count for a couple days to make sure you're staying where you ought to be for your activity level.

3f3236d1f951d4b4c25eff387699a905

(554)

on February 02, 2012
at 12:15 AM

Thank you. Calories range between 1200 to 3000 depending on hunger levels. I don't aim at anything specifically.

1
910404bebbcbd2505810c8cd8db31966

(380)

on February 01, 2012
at 04:16 AM

Are you consuming any alcohol? I know I feel like crap and gain loads of belly weight when I drink wine.

3f3236d1f951d4b4c25eff387699a905

(554)

on February 01, 2012
at 05:24 AM

Generally no. Once in a blue moon perhaps. Maybe once every three months. I don't go out much. Up until now I've had too much to do, so no time to go out. Now I've given up going to school and resigned from work (was throwing 80 hour weeks). Not really feeling sexy enough to go out for a drink.

0
0266737ea1782946902fd3f8e60fa0b9

(2504)

on February 02, 2012
at 06:32 AM

A few things-1200 calories is pretty low--is it possible you need more food? Secondly, the amount of D3 you're taking is pretty low-I go for about 4k/day. But you would need to get your levels checked to see how much you need to take--the old levels of 20-100 being normal are being reconsidered now, and people are talking about more like 60 being better. But check with your doc. Also, how's your adrenal function? Any possibility of adrenal fatigue?

I'm a psychologist, and it also definitely could be depression. It's always worth checking into whether a med can help, and a good therapist, regardless of their theoretical orientation, could be a game changer. I highly recommend asking people you know/trust for names of good therapists--then give them a call to see if it feels like a fit. I wrote an article about how to choose a therapist-LMK if you want me to send it you back channel.

Good luck!

3f3236d1f951d4b4c25eff387699a905

(554)

on February 02, 2012
at 12:47 PM

I gain weight no matter what and it all goes to the wrong places. I usually don't eat lunch since not hungry, but tried VLC to lose weight and it made me rather depressed. As sion as I eat carbs, I start to puff up like a blowfish. It might be low D or stress, since I do kind of dream about tropical islands every night lol. I try to get some sun but the winter sun here just doesn't do it for me. It feels a bit strange to pop 40 vitamin pills to get to 4k! I do feel depressed, I just don't know what in my body that is causing it. Thank you for the help!

0
E57d8e182251b61ccc6ada197c359d7e

on February 01, 2012
at 04:11 AM

You didn't mention you exercise plan. They may help with you moods. Something as easy as long walks may help.

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