1

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Health vs Happiness?

Answered on August 19, 2014
Created January 13, 2012 at 8:19 PM

Does anyone think it would just be easier to return to eating grains in order to improve social interaction. I found since beginning this diet it has only resulted in social discomfort and isolation. Before hand I ate organic but with a large percentage of cereal grains. I have broken down-stressing over meal-planning and options. This is especially when dealing with a picky eleven year old.

edit: added ? to title

F92e4ca55291c3f3096a3d4d3d854986

(11698)

on January 14, 2012
at 08:46 PM

Nance, thanks I have been listening to his podcasts. If I wasn't in massive debt I'd enlist him to help me. I am currently researching local options. I am so, so, so tired of being in constant pain and discomfort every single day.

8487a2f7fb8be0a568275667af0794c8

(494)

on January 14, 2012
at 07:26 PM

Finally, someone is honest! I have wondered wouldn't stress kill me far likely than having that bowl of Natropath cereal I used to enjoy with my dad.

D1c02d4fc5125a670cf419dbb3e18ba7

on January 14, 2012
at 12:20 PM

Brevity is the soul of wit

96bf58d8c6bd492dc5b8ae46203fe247

(37227)

on January 14, 2012
at 02:35 AM

Hang in there! Did you see this? http://chriskresser.com/the-healthy-skeptic-podcast-episode-9 You can listen or read it.

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on January 14, 2012
at 02:23 AM

You're in a hard spot and I hope you find a way to improve your health and find happiness with the way you live and eat. I love cooking too and it is hard to adapt to a Paleo way at times. I think we should kidnap jesuisjuba for a few cooking lessons Paleo style. :)

6714718e2245e5190017d643a7614157

on January 13, 2012
at 09:29 PM

I totally agree AB.

6714718e2245e5190017d643a7614157

on January 13, 2012
at 09:28 PM

I like your answer much better AB, but I'm usually too lazy to type long detailed answers.

6714718e2245e5190017d643a7614157

on January 13, 2012
at 09:19 PM

Thanks AB, you're a "dummy"

D1c02d4fc5125a670cf419dbb3e18ba7

on January 13, 2012
at 09:17 PM

Good link my young (older than me) padawan

F0e558010a2ecb31fa37b7c491596b8e

(3850)

on January 13, 2012
at 08:59 PM

Excellent answer.

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6 Answers

best answer

3
F92e4ca55291c3f3096a3d4d3d854986

(11698)

on January 14, 2012
at 02:09 AM

I'm struggling with this issue myself. I already felt social isolation because my IBS means I can't eat many foods. Now with Paleo on top of it, I find it very very hard to eat at others' homes or in restaurants. And I noticed over the holidays how my diet isolated me from the food-related experiences my family was partaking in. It was like I was a teenage anorexic all over again: in my parents' home, refusing their food, making my own meals, and kind of judging them in my head for their carb-centered eating habits. I tried to counteract that by getting my parents into what I was eating, and by the end of my stay they were having eggs and bacon (along with their oatmeal) for breakfast.

My therapist is concerned that the diet is operating the same way as the eating disorder did. And to be honest, if my digestion could handle it, I would go off of Paleo, as I don't think it's the best thing for an eating-disordered brain (in the sense that the ED is a mental illness I will always have to guard against). Her feeling is that I had IBS while eating wheat and dairy and I have IBS without it, so maybe I should just eat the stuff and at least be able to partake more in social food events (i.e. my friend's perogy-making dinner party on Sunday), and not feel deprived, and not dream of cereal and cookies.

I can see her side of it, but for the time being I'm committed to sticking with Paleo and will continue to tinker with it to try to improve the IBS.

I guess I've always been a foodie - I don't miss junk food and rarely ate it - but I worked in restaurants for years, I follow the restaurant scene, love foods from other cultures, idolize celebrity chefs. To me, Paleo seems to involve such a huge loss in terms of that passion. It kind of severs you from the rich culture and community that we've developped around eating. I will be honest, if I did not have digestive problems, there is no way I'd be Paleo right now. And I do feel that my friends who on Sunday will enjoy perogies and a bottle of wine and some brownies for dessert are probably far "healthier" than me because it will bring them joy, and social interaction, and the pleasure of dining.

And yes I realized I'm gonna get raked over the coals for this one.

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on January 14, 2012
at 02:23 AM

You're in a hard spot and I hope you find a way to improve your health and find happiness with the way you live and eat. I love cooking too and it is hard to adapt to a Paleo way at times. I think we should kidnap jesuisjuba for a few cooking lessons Paleo style. :)

8487a2f7fb8be0a568275667af0794c8

(494)

on January 14, 2012
at 07:26 PM

Finally, someone is honest! I have wondered wouldn't stress kill me far likely than having that bowl of Natropath cereal I used to enjoy with my dad.

96bf58d8c6bd492dc5b8ae46203fe247

(37227)

on January 14, 2012
at 02:35 AM

Hang in there! Did you see this? http://chriskresser.com/the-healthy-skeptic-podcast-episode-9 You can listen or read it.

F92e4ca55291c3f3096a3d4d3d854986

(11698)

on January 14, 2012
at 08:46 PM

Nance, thanks I have been listening to his podcasts. If I wasn't in massive debt I'd enlist him to help me. I am currently researching local options. I am so, so, so tired of being in constant pain and discomfort every single day.

11
D1c02d4fc5125a670cf419dbb3e18ba7

on January 13, 2012
at 08:41 PM

In economics, inter-temporal resource allocation is related to how an individual's choices today affect choices available in the future. Simply put, what you do today affects tomorrow. Duh!

So what is "easier" today might be not result in such an easy life tomorrow and vice versa.

The important things in life are usually not easy - being a good spouse, parent, friend, etc. Eating healthy in a food abundant world with many toxins is also tough. I often wish it were not so tough.

A life where there is happiness without health seems to be an oxymoron to me. You probably already know the answer to your question. May you find the strength and support (on PH and IRL) to make the choices that will maximize your family's health today and tomorrow. Good luck!!!

P.S. As a parent, I know how difficult it is to provide your child a healthy diet in a SAD world. It is very tough and requires a lot of commitment and focus. But when my kid goes to a birthday party and is eating a piece of fructose, gluten, vegetable oil laden food, I have learned to let it go and not obsess about the occasional indulgence as long as it is truly occasional.

F0e558010a2ecb31fa37b7c491596b8e

(3850)

on January 13, 2012
at 08:59 PM

Excellent answer.

6714718e2245e5190017d643a7614157

on January 13, 2012
at 09:29 PM

I totally agree AB.

4
96bf58d8c6bd492dc5b8ae46203fe247

(37227)

on January 13, 2012
at 08:51 PM

With respect, I think the discomfort is embedded deeply within your own mind. I mean that as a neutral statement, not a dig.

What if you bought a blouse because you loved it but heard one of your friends mocking that type without knowing you had one? It's pretty much the same--you have to choose whom to please and that's true in just about everything.

The first few times I chose healthy whole foods at a gathering I felt as if everyone was noticing; the truth is it didn't matter whether or not they did as the food choices were about me and the life I wish to live into.

The last time I ate at a buffet with family during the holidays I selected healthy options and I didn't worry about how my loved ones would react because I was happy with the foods I chose. By their looks and body language the family members now understand and if it makes me feel good they're all for it.

Keep examining what YOU really want. Is the Chelsea who ate SAD wishing she could go back, and if so what do YOU want to do?

3
6714718e2245e5190017d643a7614157

on January 13, 2012
at 09:16 PM

D1c02d4fc5125a670cf419dbb3e18ba7

on January 14, 2012
at 12:20 PM

Brevity is the soul of wit

6714718e2245e5190017d643a7614157

on January 13, 2012
at 09:19 PM

Thanks AB, you're a "dummy"

D1c02d4fc5125a670cf419dbb3e18ba7

on January 13, 2012
at 09:17 PM

Good link my young (older than me) padawan

6714718e2245e5190017d643a7614157

on January 13, 2012
at 09:28 PM

I like your answer much better AB, but I'm usually too lazy to type long detailed answers.

1
7bf306ada57db47547e9da39a415edf6

(11214)

on January 13, 2012
at 09:00 PM

I have never found compromising for the sake of society particularly beneficial. Many of these situations are just stressful, period. You think grains are the issue now, but compromise, and then suddenly there will be another issue. Indeed, to me social interactions have always been awkward, and if anything I benefit disproportionately from differentiating myself from the crowd rather than compromising.

And now I look good...

0
Dfada6fe4982ab3b7557172f20632da8

(5332)

on January 13, 2012
at 08:45 PM

I'm sure quite a few think that from time to time. In most cases, their body gives a pretty good reminder as to what the short-term cost is. Sometimes it may be worth the cost, but having not been happy with grains being the central part of my diet I can't see myself returning to them as a staple food source unless I had to.

Arguably it's just another one of those things we use food inappropriately for (although food as a social bond does have some historical validity). But I'd strongly recommend looking to other ways to address the stress - you don't have to be unhealthy in order to be happy. I simply refuse to believe that.

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