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ever been so sick that you thought of suicide?

Commented on April 03, 2014
Created January 02, 2014 at 11:04 AM

Hey!

This might be not a really paleo 'food' question, please don't stab me!

I have a quite depressing phase going on for the last years since I've developed IBS-D and can't eat properly, go anywhere (not even to university without shaking from fear that something might happen) or have any fun in general. I really tried everything, I'm 100% paleo, low-carb, did a bone-broth-fast (after one day I spend hours on the toilet - althought everyone says broth is so good for you), tried every available medicadion, probiotics, fish oils, reducing stress, allergy tests, I did everything. There is no way I can get out of this 'black hole' and I really would like to finish uni, see friends, go to parties, enjoy my youth, you know. My mom ignores me whenever I talk about having pain, she might think I'm faking this and my friends can't really help. I just don't know how to live on like this for 50 years or whatever.

Has anyone of you have ever been in this situation? What has helped you? What could I do? :/

E7d3b1cd391afa9e04406d0870dd6c5e

(0)

on April 03, 2014
at 08:59 PM

Thanks for the comment. The ENT said that the tests they did would have ruled out meniere's. I have no hearing loss. It's not a spinning vertigo type of dizzines, but rather an off balance feeling, like I'm walking on a boat or something. Also, it's constantly there (though more or less intense at times) rather than coming in spells.

I talked to mayo clinic about getting a second look at this from them ... 12 month wait. ugh.

462e6377c4c4838b8f859f220c3f0999

(20)

on April 03, 2014
at 05:45 AM

Just going to throw this out there. What you've got sounds a whole lot like what my sister has dealt with. She was eventually diagnosed with Meniere's disease. Look it up, it's caused by an imbalanced fluid level in the ear. She's been able to keep it pretty well controlled with a very low sodium diet.

A6b7afacdb512b861716bca9e9226ad3

(333)

on April 02, 2014
at 02:10 PM

at the risk of seeming very off-the-wall, your past reminded me of something I read recently.

"I have been seeing a lot of leaders suffering from vertigo. If you are experiencing this, there is a good chance that people around you are not in agreement with what you are doing. Vertigo is a negative spin that can happen when there are people praying or going in a different direction." http://dougaddison.com/2014/03/march-forward-2/

089dd41b18fbb95ebb5347cded708d98

(5635)

on February 20, 2014
at 07:43 PM

the test is done by a gastroenterologist. absorption issues- like are you deficient in vitamines, minerals, protein because you are going to the bathroom so much?? if you want an ileostomy, you can get the surgery if you meet with a surgeon. it's your life and it could make you feel much better.

006f2e9b763058ff2332681c206563e4

(252)

on February 20, 2014
at 06:39 PM

Sorry for not answering for ages! No, I haven't had this test - is there a way to do it at home? What exactly do you mean with absorption issues? I go for the bathroom up to 20 times a day and yes, it's all diarrhea. I wish I could get an ileostomie! But everybody I talked to said I was plain stupid wishing for something like this.

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10 Answers

0
E7d3b1cd391afa9e04406d0870dd6c5e

on April 02, 2014
at 11:23 AM

I've been dealing with chronic dizziness for the past 5 months and there have been times when I've been tempted by the thought of jerking the wheel into a bridge abutment while driving.

Been through and MRI, neurologist visit, vestibular rehab exercises, audiologist exam, visit with ENT. No explanation. No problems with my balance system that they can detect. It's not vertigo, no heart problems, no neurological problems they can find.

At the end they diagnosed me with "disequilibrium" and the best advice they could give me is "feel good that we didn't find anything serious" with a suggestion that I "wait a few months and hope it goes away". With no comment on what to do if it doesn't.

Meanwhile I feel like I have a slight alcohol buzz going on all the time, can't concentrate for shit at work because of it, am falling behind. Losing sleep worrying about losing my job, or about this being something life ending that they've missed. Seems hopeless.

462e6377c4c4838b8f859f220c3f0999

(20)

on April 03, 2014
at 05:45 AM

Just going to throw this out there. What you've got sounds a whole lot like what my sister has dealt with. She was eventually diagnosed with Meniere's disease. Look it up, it's caused by an imbalanced fluid level in the ear. She's been able to keep it pretty well controlled with a very low sodium diet.

A6b7afacdb512b861716bca9e9226ad3

(333)

on April 02, 2014
at 02:10 PM

at the risk of seeming very off-the-wall, your past reminded me of something I read recently.

"I have been seeing a lot of leaders suffering from vertigo. If you are experiencing this, there is a good chance that people around you are not in agreement with what you are doing. Vertigo is a negative spin that can happen when there are people praying or going in a different direction." http://dougaddison.com/2014/03/march-forward-2/

E7d3b1cd391afa9e04406d0870dd6c5e

(0)

on April 03, 2014
at 08:59 PM

Thanks for the comment. The ENT said that the tests they did would have ruled out meniere's. I have no hearing loss. It's not a spinning vertigo type of dizzines, but rather an off balance feeling, like I'm walking on a boat or something. Also, it's constantly there (though more or less intense at times) rather than coming in spells.

I talked to mayo clinic about getting a second look at this from them ... 12 month wait. ugh.

0
A6b7afacdb512b861716bca9e9226ad3

(333)

on January 03, 2014
at 05:13 AM

how long have you been 100 percent paleo? How long did you try the various probiotics, etc.? The reason I'm asking is that sometimes you get the opposite reaction INITIALLY when you take the right substance. It makes you think you're on the wrong track, when in reality your body is getting rid of the junk. It can be quite disconcerting, and the stress is HUGE, as you know.

You probably don't know who to trust at this point, and are afraid to listen to your body because it has seemingly betrayed you.

I would encourage you to get away from anything and anyone who makes you feel badly, and listen only to what YOU need. And do that.

I realize that is vague, but I believe our bodies are smarter than we know. And I believe there is hope for you just around the corner.

I'm rooting for you!

0
40b242249739aace3d136d1e7f120ae7

on January 03, 2014
at 03:52 AM

Gut issues (and health issues in general) and create life issues that make you contemplate suicide though. for example, bad health can make you unattractive, make you fat, or give you acne, and those can invite mistreatment from other people, which then causes the unhealthy person to become isolated and depressed even further. When you're unhealthy and doctors can't help you (I have bad experience with doctors, most are useless), then people begin blaming you for being too sensitive or making your symptoms up, victim blaming ensues.. so yes I can see why unhealthy people would contemplate suicide.

0
700aeb0fc4a0c8c6906eab73c7b0ef6f

on January 03, 2014
at 03:30 AM

Eugenia makes some good points. Im sorry youre feeling that way, depression can be an awful thing. The important thing is to not lose hope because thats the only thing that will get you through these dark times.

Paleo is very helpful but its a starting point. Look up FODMAP's, like Eugenia mentioned, and the fast tract diet (for allowed carbohydrates). I am convinced IBS-D can be controlled by diet alone.

0
3eca93d2e56dfcd768197dc5a50944f2

(11697)

on January 03, 2014
at 02:16 AM

Bluekitty, I was on the same boat as you were. For 10 years, while I was diagnosed with IBS-D, could not go anywhere because of D, I was always dead-tired, depressed, and feeble. I was a prisoner in my own home. My mother didn't believe the magnitude of the problem either, she thought it was just "stress". I was very lucky to have a very supportive husband who took care of me, and so I didn't need to work (it would have been impossible to leave the house anyway). Towards the end (before I found Paleo), I knew that if I was to get even a flu, I'd die -- I was that weak. Because of that situation, I was thinking of death. I was mostly thinking of it in terms of "if death was to come fast, I'd welcome it", rather than actively seeking to kill myself.

Everything went away with Paleo though. A new life came for me. All the depressing stuff went away too. I don't have IBS-D anymore (unless I get contaminated with gluten), although I'm still metabolically deranged (this needs extra lifestyle changes to get fixed, not just diet).

For your condition, since you say that it hasn't gone away with Paleo, I have three things to suggest:

1. Try FODMAPs, in addition to Paleo (a medley of the two diets, still by removing all grains of course). Try that for a few weeks and see how it goes. Some people are FODMAPs sensitive, so Paleo alone doesn't make things better. Please don't stay too low carb, for some people it gets worse on near-keto (according to Chris Kresser). Shoot for about 75-100 gr of net carbs daily, rather than ketogenic for now.

2. IF your problem hasn't been fixed with Paleo+Fodmaps, then I highly suggest you do a full examination for protozoa and other parasites, e.g. CDiff, gardia, h.pylori etc etc. The full range of it. You see, there are some parasites that no matter what you eat, they'll survive in your gut. These need to be treated with antibiotics, no diet or lifestyle can get rid of them. You must test for that, because in my experience, if none of these diets work, that's the biggest chance of what's going on.

3. Finally, consider a fecal transplant from a healthy donor. Also, try to sleep by 10-11 PM, and go out in the sun daily and bathe in it for at least 15-20 minutes.

If none of all that works, honestly, I'm at a loss at that point. :-(

0
089dd41b18fbb95ebb5347cded708d98

(5635)

on January 03, 2014
at 02:14 AM

hey bluekitty, i'm sorry you are so depressed. i have been there, too, with my ulcerative colitis... basically, i didn't feel like living and could've cared less if i died because i was in so much pain. i just didn't understand, and still don't, why i suffer with this disease when i do everything i think is right. i am not depressed any more and want to live but it's still frustrating.

i honestly have no new advice because you have tried so many things and probably everything i've tried, too. since mine is an autoimmune disease, i take biologics, steroids, and immunosupressants. i'm not sure of the medical treatments for you besides immodium. have you had a gastric emptying test?? i'd be curious to see if how quickly food is leaving your stomach. do you have absorption issues? how many times a day are you moving your bowels?? is it all diarrhea?

i've heard of people getting ileostomies because of severe ibs-d. it's a serious surgery and i know all about it since i am considering it.

006f2e9b763058ff2332681c206563e4

(252)

on February 20, 2014
at 06:39 PM

Sorry for not answering for ages! No, I haven't had this test - is there a way to do it at home? What exactly do you mean with absorption issues? I go for the bathroom up to 20 times a day and yes, it's all diarrhea. I wish I could get an ileostomie! But everybody I talked to said I was plain stupid wishing for something like this.

0
A08b210e4da7e69cd792bddc1f4aae4b

(1031)

on January 03, 2014
at 01:24 AM

You sound like you're in serious need of some help -- don't try to do this on your own. Here's some pointers that may be useful.

* Mark's Daily Apple, this guy's story might give you some inspiration and ideas:

http://www.marksdailyapple.com/it-is-possible-to-take-control-of-your-health-and-your-life/#axzz2pIH3z900

* The IBS Treatment Center have some useful articles on IBS:

http://ibstreatmentcenter.com/ibs

* IBS often goes hand-in-hand with GERD and SIBO:

http://chriskresser.com/more-evidence-to-support-the-theory-that-gerd-is-caused-by-bacterial-overgrowth

* Norm Robillard has an interesting model and treatment for IBS:

http://digestivehealthinstitute.org/links-useful-resources/

Good Luck!

0
Medium avatar

on January 02, 2014
at 07:39 PM

I once had stomach cramps so bad that suicide crossed my mind. Since you have IBS, IBD consider fasting for a couple of days to let your digestive system heal a bit. You should look into multivitamins and other supplements such as marshmallow root, l-glutamine and slippery elm, these can potentially help heal your gut. Consider getting some stool tests done to see what kind of bacteria your harboring in your colon. If you find that you have any pathogenic species you may have biofilms with these pathogenic species and they may be contributing to your overall inflammation. As for probiotics VSL # 3 and Prescript Assist are said to be effective. Here's a link to get you started. http://perfecthealthdiet.com/2010/07/ulcerative-colitis-a-devastating-gut-disease/ Good luck. The journey to heal one's gut is very long and frustrating at times.

0
161750c67d1c0a39309fa8fa06ce1d35

on January 02, 2014
at 07:36 PM

Did you develop IBS before or after you started on one of your dietary paths? And remember, broth is good for you but is also a fantastic way to - sorry for sounding gross - clean everything out. Expect that if you have nothing but liquid food to get to a point where anything solid left over is going to vacate quite suddenly. In certain cases, this is the result you actually want, but it's really up to a doctor to let you know that.

How much leafy greens and natural fibre is in your diet? Has your doctor ruled out stomach ulcers? IBD (Crohn's disease)? Ulcerative Colitis (another form of IBD)? Gut Dysbiosis? SIBO? Removal of Probiotics? Yeah, probiotics can cause problems even though they're supposed to be good!

Those are just some of the things that immediately jump to mind regarding root causes of IBS-D. If you haven't addressed any of the root causes, no matter what your dietary changes, you're still going to have IBS-D. It could be one of the above, or it could be something else. But diet alone generally cannot cure IBS-D. Some things can help, but almost guaranteed that you'll still have symptoms.

I wish you the very best in finding the root cause. I understand how miserable it is to not want to (or have the inability to) go do anything; not from being sick, but from a hip injury that left me virtually unable to walk for two years due to pain alone. Pain so breath-takingly severe that I now understand what "seeing stars" really means. And all my Kaiser doctors wanted to do was prescribe stronger and stronger pain meds, not look at the root cause. One quack even had me taking nearly 3000mg of Ibuprofen a day; until my stomach started bleeding a week later. Another gave me Vicodin even though I told him it made me sick.

0
Medium avatar

(238)

on January 02, 2014
at 04:19 PM

I went through 15 years of sinus infections, much of the time was miserable with only a few breaks now and then when I felt ok. The last 2 years on Paleo/Primal have been great without issue so I'd say that you have to tweak your diet until you find what the key is to making you feel right. Don't give up and keep reading, researching and testing until it works for you.

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