4

votes

Do you find people meet your lifestyle choices with criticism/hostility?

Answered on September 12, 2014
Created April 23, 2013 at 11:42 AM

I personally get a lot... "You don't eat bread? what's wrong with you?" "sounds boring you seem to eat the same foods over and over" (people don't seem to realise that they do too, lots of the same garbage day in, day out.) "You're no fun" "That can't be healthy" "You don't eat much" (I don't need to snack all day If I have a good breakfast :P) "You're too picky" etc etc The list is endless... I was wondering can anyone relate? How do you respond to shit like this without being narky? I always end up sounding like a bitch.. The thing that annoys me most is being accused of depriving myself of adequate nutrition, or when they make out I'm boring for not eating sugar... Grrrr... It gets on my wick!

32f5749fa6cf7adbeb0b0b031ba82b46

(41747)

on April 23, 2013
at 10:38 PM

Seems like in the last year, most folks have stop saying I'm too skinny looking. Except for folks going in the opposite direction.

32f5749fa6cf7adbeb0b0b031ba82b46

(41747)

on April 23, 2013
at 10:36 PM

@Erin, if you lost a significant amount of weight, people who knew you when you were fat will see you as too thin for quite sometime, it takes a long time to renormalize body images.

89fa2da4805b0b4e54b77a5a20a2e206

(2097)

on April 23, 2013
at 09:43 PM

with your nick its no wonder..:) can u blame her?

89fa2da4805b0b4e54b77a5a20a2e206

(2097)

on April 23, 2013
at 09:39 PM

discreet-just a fig leaf underneath his fruit of the looms :)

Medium avatar

(1097)

on April 23, 2013
at 09:10 PM

Don't dress in a loincloth?? Why not?! :p

3d58b5fb4f9780e2f47d4dcc53338a5a

(2771)

on April 23, 2013
at 08:11 PM

Well, I've only had two friends after two years stopped rolling their eyes when we went out and started asking more questions when they realized that something was working really well for me. They're both on board now!

B72e976b2df9e7f01315830062a5209c

(1365)

on April 23, 2013
at 07:38 PM

My experience has been almost exactly the same as Anon's, only I've recently added a step 3: people start asking you for diet advice.

3d58b5fb4f9780e2f47d4dcc53338a5a

(2771)

on April 23, 2013
at 02:35 PM

You are correct! They want you to eat the crap their eating to help make them feel better about eating it. I have had a few saying that I was being unhealthy, even when faced with the obvious, and I just say "Yeah, you're probably right," and leave it at that. If you feel you need to, you can add "my blood work looks fine, so far. I'm keeping an eye on it." I think people think your eating habits are threatening to their way of life, so being agreeable seems to take the wind out of their sails.

3d58b5fb4f9780e2f47d4dcc53338a5a

(2771)

on April 23, 2013
at 02:34 PM

You are correct! They want you to eat the crap their eating to help make them feel better about eating it. I have had a few saying that I was being unhealthy, even when faced with the obvious, and I just say "Yeah, you're probably right," and leave it at that. If you feel you need to, you can add "my blood work looks fine, so far. I'm keeping an eye on it." I think people think this is a threat, so being agreeable seems to take the wind out of their sails.

Cceda01c6e1aefb1ca7f1aa5653cba2a

(125)

on April 23, 2013
at 01:56 PM

Which is when you need to come back and evangelize them. They'll leave you alone after that, usually. :)

C2fefd191418f9a7bd691077ab9b527a

(287)

on April 23, 2013
at 01:44 PM

hahaha this made me laugh :P sometimes t really is necessary to be a bitch :P

C2fefd191418f9a7bd691077ab9b527a

(287)

on April 23, 2013
at 01:41 PM

Thank you for responding and I'm glad this has worked for you...but I usually never openly discuss my food choices, but If I'm offered crap food and say "I'm not hungry, thanks" I still manage to get abuse about being too thin (145lbs at 5ft5? muscular, maybe) and not eating "right" I've also lost weight (98lbs) and even then they tell me I'm unhealthy :P I feel like they're literally trying to force me to eat crap to make themselves feel better, even though I never comment on their food choices.... Frustrating...

Cceda01c6e1aefb1ca7f1aa5653cba2a

(125)

on April 23, 2013
at 01:37 PM

Its ok to be a bitch if it means you stand up for what you believe in.

C2fefd191418f9a7bd691077ab9b527a

(287)

on April 23, 2013
at 01:04 PM

Oh my God I can so relate to the drinking! people have labelled me as a socially awkward freak for not going out getting hammered every weekend.... Must try the celiac thing... ;) Thank you :)

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15 Answers

8
3d58b5fb4f9780e2f47d4dcc53338a5a

(2771)

on April 23, 2013
at 01:28 PM

People used to all the time but two things have changed:

  1. I stopped talking about it. I think I came across as a bit of an evangelist to some, and I can see why. "Why don't you have some cake? - Let me tell you what it's doing to your body!" When I talked about it, people didn't want to hear that everything they thought they knew was wrong and got defensive. Now, I just eat the food I'm going to eat and say "No thank you" when offered bad for me food. Oddly enough, people don't like me saying that it's not healthy, but are ok with saying, it's not on my diet plan. People accept anything weird when it comes to losing weight. When they ask how long it's been since I've had a cookie, I say "that was almost 40 lbs ago." They shut up usually. I think changing my "I've got to save you" attitude helped. I can only set the example.

  2. People can tell that I've lost a lot of weight and look good. I get some strange looks when I start eating cold bacon as a snack at work, and they know I don't eat the cakes and donuts they bring in, but they all say I'm looking great. They've pretty much stopped questioning what I do now because it's pretty obvious that out of the entire office, I'm the only one who has gotten into shape and stayed there.

B72e976b2df9e7f01315830062a5209c

(1365)

on April 23, 2013
at 07:38 PM

My experience has been almost exactly the same as Anon's, only I've recently added a step 3: people start asking you for diet advice.

C2fefd191418f9a7bd691077ab9b527a

(287)

on April 23, 2013
at 01:41 PM

Thank you for responding and I'm glad this has worked for you...but I usually never openly discuss my food choices, but If I'm offered crap food and say "I'm not hungry, thanks" I still manage to get abuse about being too thin (145lbs at 5ft5? muscular, maybe) and not eating "right" I've also lost weight (98lbs) and even then they tell me I'm unhealthy :P I feel like they're literally trying to force me to eat crap to make themselves feel better, even though I never comment on their food choices.... Frustrating...

3d58b5fb4f9780e2f47d4dcc53338a5a

(2771)

on April 23, 2013
at 02:34 PM

You are correct! They want you to eat the crap their eating to help make them feel better about eating it. I have had a few saying that I was being unhealthy, even when faced with the obvious, and I just say "Yeah, you're probably right," and leave it at that. If you feel you need to, you can add "my blood work looks fine, so far. I'm keeping an eye on it." I think people think this is a threat, so being agreeable seems to take the wind out of their sails.

3d58b5fb4f9780e2f47d4dcc53338a5a

(2771)

on April 23, 2013
at 02:35 PM

You are correct! They want you to eat the crap their eating to help make them feel better about eating it. I have had a few saying that I was being unhealthy, even when faced with the obvious, and I just say "Yeah, you're probably right," and leave it at that. If you feel you need to, you can add "my blood work looks fine, so far. I'm keeping an eye on it." I think people think your eating habits are threatening to their way of life, so being agreeable seems to take the wind out of their sails.

32f5749fa6cf7adbeb0b0b031ba82b46

(41747)

on April 23, 2013
at 10:38 PM

Seems like in the last year, most folks have stop saying I'm too skinny looking. Except for folks going in the opposite direction.

32f5749fa6cf7adbeb0b0b031ba82b46

(41747)

on April 23, 2013
at 10:36 PM

@Erin, if you lost a significant amount of weight, people who knew you when you were fat will see you as too thin for quite sometime, it takes a long time to renormalize body images.

3d58b5fb4f9780e2f47d4dcc53338a5a

(2771)

on April 23, 2013
at 08:11 PM

Well, I've only had two friends after two years stopped rolling their eyes when we went out and started asking more questions when they realized that something was working really well for me. They're both on board now!

5
1deaea445ff3b1cb5d1354a043dc8fb7

(275)

on April 23, 2013
at 02:34 PM

Yes, there may be hostility towards our choice of lifestyle this stems form several factors such as it goes against common notions of what is healthy, therefore when you say you eat paleo it is like saying 'you are doing it wrong' to the other person, thus it may offend people.

They also may not want to change. If you accept the fact, lets say that bread kills you, and you don't stop eating you are in a state of incredible cognitive dissonance (holding two conflicting view at once) which people tend to dislike.

BUT, the most important factor in how people react to things when you tell them is how you feel about it yourself. If you are proud and say that you lead a healthy lifestyle, people will admire you. If you are ashamed or think you are weird for eating paleo people will treat you likewise. How you feel about something will largely determine how other people react (so long as the belief is strong).

It also links in the notion that you create your own reality. For example, you walk into a room and lots of people look at you, scenario 1: you think there is something odd about your appearance today such as you have pen on your face, or you look fat. Scenario 2: you think that you must look especially good today as everyone is checking you out. It may be, and probably is, neither of these two reasons, it could be any random reason out there or mere chance that more people are looking at you, but what your brain tells you, you will believe.

5
32f5749fa6cf7adbeb0b0b031ba82b46

(41747)

on April 23, 2013
at 12:43 PM

Nobody knows I'm paleo, because 1) I don't draw attention to it or publisize it. 2) I don't dress in a loincloth. 3) For the most part, when in public, I don't bother with conforming to paleo rules because I don't need to.

89fa2da4805b0b4e54b77a5a20a2e206

(2097)

on April 23, 2013
at 09:39 PM

discreet-just a fig leaf underneath his fruit of the looms :)

Medium avatar

(1097)

on April 23, 2013
at 09:10 PM

Don't dress in a loincloth?? Why not?! :p

3
Cceda01c6e1aefb1ca7f1aa5653cba2a

on April 23, 2013
at 01:42 PM

My boyfriend has high cholesterol and gives me shit about all the red meat I eat, and mom is convinced bacon and eggs will kill me. That's mostly the extent of it. I've been very open and public with my healthy eating habits with my coworkers that they don't even bat an eye when I don't want something and they just say "Oh, you're still being so good!"

I have pulled the bitch card and told people it wasn't any of their business and I would eat what made me happy. They can't argue with what makes you happy and they leave me alome so they don't get snapped at again. I have no problem being a bitch when necessary.

C2fefd191418f9a7bd691077ab9b527a

(287)

on April 23, 2013
at 01:44 PM

hahaha this made me laugh :P sometimes t really is necessary to be a bitch :P

3
Fd47a066f8de20833be11b451987199e

on April 23, 2013
at 12:56 PM

Its all good until I try to explain the Squatty Potty ;-) It's sad that its just easier to play the celiac card (which people easily accept) vs saying I'm Paleo. But it's no different than when I have to explain why I don't drink, which gets as much scorn. If they push my buttons enough (on either topic) I give them the brutal truth.

C2fefd191418f9a7bd691077ab9b527a

(287)

on April 23, 2013
at 01:04 PM

Oh my God I can so relate to the drinking! people have labelled me as a socially awkward freak for not going out getting hammered every weekend.... Must try the celiac thing... ;) Thank you :)

3
717ac8a668eec6c024186d46ff30b3c3

(105)

on April 23, 2013
at 12:31 PM

Same here. For not eating bread and bakery products, my usual excuse is I am gluten-intolerant. It's not completely untrue since majority of the population is gluten-sensitive, but they don't know it yet. :)

2
8a0747cdcef6cb22ab8f7233bb55aa9c

(139)

on September 07, 2013
at 12:44 AM

I don't tell people either. People try to force their way of eating on me otherwise. People at work are the worst.

Cceda01c6e1aefb1ca7f1aa5653cba2a

(125)

on April 23, 2013
at 01:56 PM

Which is when you need to come back and evangelize them. They'll leave you alone after that, usually. :)

2
7bf306ada57db47547e9da39a415edf6

(11214)

on April 23, 2013
at 08:12 PM

Whenever I find myself worrying about what other people think, I eat more liver. There is something in liver that stops that noise. Oysters are kind of cool too- especially since you can show up at work with a can of them and eat them in front of the complainers.
Good nutrition provides a wonderful sense of detachment.

1
04a4f204bc2e589fa30fd31b92944549

(975)

on April 24, 2013
at 02:12 AM

My friend feels guilty about her eating habits so when I'm around her at lunch now she gets granola bars and turkey sandwiches instead of the usual burger and fries. Epic face palm.

1
6fece842bd1bcf5724f458a302a2156e

on April 23, 2013
at 08:56 PM

On dates I just tell men I like meat and fish which always goes down very well (rather than saying I don't eat bread etc).

I say as little about it as possible unless they are interested as it puts them off.

However I would regard the way I eat as normal - how most people used to eat and the junk food way some people eat as abnormal.

1
04eee37f3f428eb200792020c556c985

on April 23, 2013
at 08:01 PM

My wife has been my worst critic. She thinks I've joined a cult or something, and doesn't want anything to do with my diet choices. Her nutrition and health education comes from the late-'70s and '80s. She completely balks at any suggestion that she check out the science behind paleo. She practically screamed at me last night when I mentioned proudly that I had cooked our salmon in red palm oil.

OTOH, I've had fairly good reactions from coworkers and friends. Some want me to send them links to this and other web sites. Some may believe it's just a temporary fad, but I don't care.

Now, if only I could discipline myself to put on more muscle and get six-pack abs, that would be more obvious proof to all.

89fa2da4805b0b4e54b77a5a20a2e206

(2097)

on April 23, 2013
at 09:43 PM

with your nick its no wonder..:) can u blame her?

1
8c4610c072af3184156940b943c875f8

on April 23, 2013
at 06:44 PM

I have celiacs so I have to eat gluten free. When I was diagnosed 9 years ago I removed almost all processed foods from my diet. I'm not a fan of meat but will eat organic turkey and wild salmon. I follow what I call a reasonable diet that's a mixture of what I've learned works for my body. My diet is kind of paleo-ish mixed with macrobiotic principles. I eat only foods that are in season for the region I live (macrobiotic) and I avoid most grains (except small amounts of basmati). In the past I've been critiqued but most people understand I have severe medical issues that can only be addressed through diet.

I've just made it a point to keep my eating a personal matter. I have a couple of friends who are 100% paleo and they are extremely judgmental to the people around them. I remember one girl grabbing a piece of chocolate and getting a 5 minute lecture about her bad choice. I've also been giving lengthy lectures about my choice (specifically about eating basmati) and how if I die of cancer it's my own fault. It kind of reminds me of the same fervor of my vegan friends.

Just let people be people. We all have to make our journey the best we can. Save our own soul and body and take care of our family. That's the best advice I can give.

1
582e89904fef55ad5c7dac673653ef8c

(281)

on April 23, 2013
at 04:57 PM

They are just jealous of my delicious bacon.

I don't have anyone so far into my business that they feel obligated to comment on it. I politely decline things and if asked why I'm declining it I just tell them it doesn't agree with my stomach.

???Those who mind don???t matter and those who matter don???t mind.??? ??? Bernard Baruch

0
A048b66e08306d405986b6c04bf5e8e4

on August 13, 2013
at 03:40 AM

My mom (and other people) tell me that my diet is too high in fat and protein and that a little grain won't hurt me and that my diet isn't "balanced". Pisses me off to no end.

0
24c27817ad9ac518946dda4a131737b5

on April 23, 2013
at 11:52 PM

It's just a normal conversation topic to me. People naturally comment on the new or idiosyncratic. Sometimes it comes up, most of the time it doesn't. It might bore you to answer the same questions repetitiously, but I doubt anyone actually gets harassed or teased about Paleo because of Paleo.

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