1

votes

Visiting my partners 'low fat, brown bread, soya lovin cardioholics' for Easter - how would you cope?

Answered on August 19, 2014
Created April 08, 2011 at 7:35 PM

My boyfriend and I are going to be staying with his parents for just over a week at Easter. They are lovely people. BUT his dad is an ex marathon runner who now cycles hundreds of miles a week and survives on a diet of meat, veg, potatoes and a LOT of sugar and a belief in a lot of cardio. His mum is dairy free (eats soya alternatives) as she had cancer and after a lot of research at the time, went dairy free and is now thankfully cancer free and has been for many years - but is also a big advocate of lower fat, brown grain based products.

They know about us being primal but I think they find it hard to understand it properly and I don't want to offend them - how do I be polite, seem 'normal' and retain the great primal feeling i have from living primally at home without eating lots of things that will make me feel like crap and take me back to square one? IF isn't really an option as they will worry and think i've got some eating disorder or something - they think the primal is weird enough!

How would you cope? What would you do? Do you think eating a bit (i.e. accepting that cooking with olive oil is something I can't avoid) but avoid the real no nos i.e. wheat and excessive sugar, do slightly more cardio and take more omega 3 would help??

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

3e0c2c2885a0ba30b474045ba086adaa

(110)

on April 20, 2011
at 11:14 PM

FYI--Gluten stays in your system for 6-18 months, caseine 3-6. Those are 2 deal-breakers for me because they leave a lasting impression whether we "feel" it or not...

B124653b19ee9dd438710a38954ed4a3

(1634)

on April 09, 2011
at 08:26 PM

This is the one reason I could see for having a purse. While on a business trip, I kept a jar of coconut oil in my bag. Of course there was some spillage, but it got me the fat I wanted ;)

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on April 09, 2011
at 05:28 PM

You know I originally answered differently but I think XYZ is correct. Just eat what's on your plate. I am pretty sure that your host is not going to make you drink her soy milk. Eating something different for a few days won't harm you. You will harm yourself more by creating tension over dietary perfection. Ever go out to eat with a Vegan. It's a pain in the ass. Likewise, you should, to a certain extent, accomodate yourself to your host.

Ed71ab1c75c6a9bd217a599db0a3e117

(25472)

on April 09, 2011
at 04:31 PM

Last time I visited in NYC I had a personal chef deliver me two meals per day to the house. I cooked breakfast there because they had bacon and eggs after I stopped at whole foods in the Time Warner center. They were shocked but my wife told them I do this to all our friends too now. People get over it once you explain. And they don't usually question it since I am a surgeon and look like an NFL LB. It stimulates info.....and conversation for sure

47a42b6be94caf700fce9509e38bb6a4

(9647)

on April 08, 2011
at 11:28 PM

Wait, you guys don't have a dedicated butter purse?

Cab7e4ef73c5d7d7a77e1c3d7f5773a1

(7304)

on April 08, 2011
at 09:43 PM

Good suggestion. A coconut and fruit dessert would be great.

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on April 08, 2011
at 09:22 PM

Definitely. Contraband material always comes in baggies.

9aa2a816c61170cc0183a68be0386ba5

(1702)

on April 08, 2011
at 08:47 PM

Love this suggestion - make sure its in a baggy though or you'll get a greasy purse!

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13 Answers

3
77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on April 08, 2011
at 08:13 PM

Eat the meat and vegetables they give. Carry around butter in your purse and scarf it down when nobody's looking.

9aa2a816c61170cc0183a68be0386ba5

(1702)

on April 08, 2011
at 08:47 PM

Love this suggestion - make sure its in a baggy though or you'll get a greasy purse!

B124653b19ee9dd438710a38954ed4a3

(1634)

on April 09, 2011
at 08:26 PM

This is the one reason I could see for having a purse. While on a business trip, I kept a jar of coconut oil in my bag. Of course there was some spillage, but it got me the fat I wanted ;)

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on April 08, 2011
at 09:22 PM

Definitely. Contraband material always comes in baggies.

47a42b6be94caf700fce9509e38bb6a4

(9647)

on April 08, 2011
at 11:28 PM

Wait, you guys don't have a dedicated butter purse?

2
7792d8e2ada34662a3226a7d1952940a

on April 08, 2011
at 08:54 PM

Politely pass and eat what you can. Keep a lunch in the car just in case for later when no one is around.

2
Eb800baf10f5c42478f803b7cb09aa6a

(119)

on April 08, 2011
at 07:56 PM

I definitely know what you mean! I would say, paradoxically, to take the focus off food as much as possible and put it onto the experiences during the trip and the relationships with the in-laws. I.e., focusing on day trips, or doing things together, and kind of letting the food be secondary. Otherwise it's so easy to end up fixating.

I think to set some clear limits for yourself - as you did, along the lines of no gluten and no giant desserts - and not sweating the small stuff might be the key. I'm influenced by the way Robb Wolf has talked about this kind of thing - that unless someone has a serious autoimmune condition, loosening up the reins now and then in some respects, particularly in social settings, is not the end of the world. I think there is a huge difference between making a few modest compromises and sliding back to square one.

1
09e3a4b532dd8898d8eee23d1d8e121c

on April 08, 2011
at 09:49 PM

Bring a huge sense of humor. Offer to bring a huge ham as well, then eat the latter.

1
95eda9fa0cec952b482e869c34a566b6

on April 08, 2011
at 09:14 PM

Bring lots of beef jerky.

1
3e0c2c2885a0ba30b474045ba086adaa

(110)

on April 08, 2011
at 08:13 PM

Here is what I would suggest--it sounds like they have their own dietary "regimen so-to-speak. And so they would likely be willing to understand and support your regimen as well. I would simply let them know which food in particular you wouldn't be able to eat and perhaps some suggestions that would work for the both of you (greens, lean meat...) as well as foods you are ok with. Offer to make the desert (so you can show them healthy and light CAN be delicious...)

Cab7e4ef73c5d7d7a77e1c3d7f5773a1

(7304)

on April 08, 2011
at 09:43 PM

Good suggestion. A coconut and fruit dessert would be great.

1
Be1dbd31e4a3fccd4394494aa5db256d

(17969)

on April 08, 2011
at 07:40 PM

Get what you can get. Meat, vegetables and potatoes work. We might gravitate towards the lower carb side of things but if you are just doing it for a week you can certainly eat potatoes if it is better than malnourishment or grains.

0
425aa4bfb79556ed50ea693c3edd7e13

(609)

on April 09, 2011
at 02:09 AM

Be gracious and a good guest and don't take yourself too seriously.

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on April 09, 2011
at 05:28 PM

You know I originally answered differently but I think XYZ is correct. Just eat what's on your plate. I am pretty sure that your host is not going to make you drink her soy milk. Eating something different for a few days won't harm you. You will harm yourself more by creating tension over dietary perfection. Ever go out to eat with a Vegan. It's a pain in the ass. Likewise, you should, to a certain extent, accomodate yourself to your host.

3e0c2c2885a0ba30b474045ba086adaa

(110)

on April 20, 2011
at 11:14 PM

FYI--Gluten stays in your system for 6-18 months, caseine 3-6. Those are 2 deal-breakers for me because they leave a lasting impression whether we "feel" it or not...

0
Cf5c9ba3c06cf300ae23c52778dfd317

on April 09, 2011
at 01:08 AM

Well, you could always offer to cook up some meals yourself!! Do some nice grilled veggies, with steak and chicken kabobs or something. Buy plenty and make sure there are leftovers, than eat those the next day. Oh yeah- and throw a pat of butter on your veggies when no ones lookin'!

0
Cc2a43461ec5b2b7ba5d55215ea0f068

on April 08, 2011
at 10:54 PM

Bring a snack/hors d'oeuvres tray with what you prefer to eat and eat off of it all day.

0
345c1755efe005edd162b770dc6fb821

(8767)

on April 08, 2011
at 10:12 PM

I'm also primal but in addition have several food allergies, people just dont understand these things unless they themselves are dealing with food issues. I deal with it by always bringing along plenty of snack options, bring fruit into the house, etc. and just tell people who might try to accommodate me, not to worry, I wont starve, theres always something for me to eat (it might not be what I want but there are options)

I think the more you make of it the harder it becomes, nothing worse than someone whose made an effort to make something for you that you still can't eat because of an allergy you didn't mention (sometimes the list is just too long to mention them all). Or tells you afterwords when you've noticed some corn element or something you shouldn't have, that not to worry, its just a little bit. (as you run out of the room to get your epi pens or head to the ER)

Definitely bring a sense of humor but go as prepared as you can!! (consider ordering things online and having them arrive a day before you get there....order a special something for them as well!!)

0
B3c62d89cd47b7d7209b6a99243d0ded

on April 08, 2011
at 09:16 PM

It sounds like both parents have made changes to their diets based on health and training adaptation.

If you can lay out how yours is slightly different from theirs and why, you might find new common ground at the table... A fine thing to have in possible family.

0
1d952d225819b0229e93160a90bf9bf8

on April 08, 2011
at 08:32 PM

Got the same thing about to happen-heading back to stay with my BF's family and friends Easter Week..straight SAD eaters,all of them.He even asked the obvious question last night:"what are you going to do about food?"(I'm celiac and corn intolerant).Just looks like a lot of fasting..

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