1

votes

Ok, so how do I lose weight?

Answered on August 19, 2014
Created February 04, 2013 at 9:41 PM

I'm a 14 year old girl (almost 15) 5'4" and 150 pounds. I have a belly, and I've gained fat on my legs.

I was quite happy with the paleo diet. Every so often, my parents would have digs at me. Tonight, it really exploded.

(The next bit may drag on, so you can ignore it)

My dad is on a CW diet, is training like mad, says he's lost a lot of weight in 29 days, blah blah. I actually don't know what he says half of the time, he just says whatever thought pops into his head, coherent or not, and somehow magically expects me to unravel it. But he was being incredibly self-righteous, and he was saying the same things I've heard so so many times before (literally, I talked to him about school and he changed the subject to that) and he was saying that I upset my mother because I don't spend enough time with her, so I got upset and went to my room, where stupidly I started crying. He came up, opened my door, and I was embarrassed that I was crying so I snapped at him and he went off on one again. When my mum came in I told her. She went to him and he acted all wounded, but he soon started shouting again. I accepted responsibility if I had acted like an idiot, but he wouldn't. He then said "Do you think your DIET is healthy" and I said "yeah, I think so." and he said "Look down. THAT'S not healthy." I was going to say "All I can see is boobs..." but my mum started growling at him. He started shouting again, in my mum's face, so I nicely told him to "fuck off then, you ignorant self-righteous bastard" and went upstairs. So yeah. Now things are a lil' awkward.

Anyway...

If I'm as fat as he says I am (yeah, I can lose weight, but I'm not, like, obese. Jeez. I could lost a stone and a half? That would make me very lean...) then i need to lose weight. I'm starting the gym tomorrow, so I'll be lifting weights (he thinks I'm going to become really big off it, and I'll look horrible. But rather muscular than fat) and I may need to change my diet. I've been eating dark chocolate, and once a week I grab a sandwich and a coke with my friends, but looks like that's going to have to stop. (he condemned me for that, too.)

This is what I'm eating at the mo'; 2 bacon with 3 eggs in 20g of butter A flash of veggie soup (carrots, leeks, broccoli, onion) with a chicken breast + a pear a portion of meat with veggies. + berries. On top of that, I've probably been having too much chocolate.

Okay. If that needs tweaking, please tell me. If lifting weights will help me lose weight, please tell me. I'm ignoring my dad, like I ignore everyone. (why don't you eat X? It's not gonna hurt...) It's hard, but I manage. If this is just a growing phase and I'll lean out when I'm older, please tell me. I can ignore the idiots. My dad will just have to put up with a fat daughter. Poor him. It must hurt him so.

B2379df17e386c4455996b186731db5e

(209)

on February 05, 2013
at 09:10 PM

It sucks that they don't let you delete your old accounts. I'd appreciate if everyone ignored my old account. I keep on asking the question to get different opinion, lc875.

B2379df17e386c4455996b186731db5e

(209)

on February 05, 2013
at 08:59 PM

I've asked it once...

7b20db75b09540914bd0c852e868a9d6

(454)

on February 05, 2013
at 07:23 PM

how many times are you going to ask this question?

Ed6125fbb3e40ed42a03f4053adca7ec

(45)

on February 05, 2013
at 05:18 AM

Which are great for weight loss, (in moderation of course).

532cfd279d793e8fcc23b9f6d91dde5c

(1981)

on February 05, 2013
at 12:53 AM

Avocados and nuts have mostly monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats

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11 Answers

best answer

5
Ae3b7ea9f3755af32287825db8d98796

on February 04, 2013
at 10:07 PM

I remember 14...it's not always easy. Sorry you're having a hard time with your dad. No, you aren't obese and you are still growing. I think your focus should be on eating healthy, whole foods. If paleo is the route you want to go, I think that's great, but I wouldn't obsess about it. Getting some exercise is great, I would suggest doing things you really enjoy. Go for a walk or a jog with a friend, take a dance class, or lift weights if you're interested in doing that.

Parents don't always know what to do or say to motivate their kids and sometimes they say things they shouldn't. This is your journey though, not his and it's up to you to make your own way toward having the healthy body you deserve. I caution you to not make it about weight loss and focus on health and fueling your body to do all the wonderful things it's meant to do, not on what the scale says.

5
3491e51730101b18724dc57c86601173

(8395)

on February 04, 2013
at 11:07 PM

If it's any consolation, it's just as hard to be the parent of a 14 year old as it is to be a 14 year old. Your parents want what's best for you, but you're in a stage of life where your JOB is to separate yourself from your parents so that in a few too short years you will be ready to be an independent adult. Their job is to protect you and teach you what they believe to be in your best interests--and they don't always do it as nicely as they should. While you are pushing away, they are trying to hold on--although their job is also to gradually let you go--that is SO hard, I can tell you as a former teenager myself and a mom of a 20 year old (we survived!) and a 12 year old (fasten your seatbelt, here it comes again!).

So everyone here can do with a little respect for the other. REspect your father's concern, not the way he delivers the message. Try to pick a quiet time when you are both in a calm state to tell him that you are studying and learning about your body and healthy diets, and you'd like his support, not his criticism. Tell your mom, too, and ask her to intervene with your dad if he's not the type to listen. Remind him that you are hearing what he's saying and you ARE working on your body--tell him about the gym and how that works into your plan.

You may not be able to change HIS behavior, but changing your own response to it will go a long way in helping him see you as a more mature individual who is making wise decisions for herself.

4
Ebb10603524dd22621c1155dd7ddf106

(19150)

on February 04, 2013
at 10:00 PM

  1. Your dad is an a**hole.
  2. Your mom is an a**hole-enabler.
  3. Stop eating sandwiches and drinking cola.
  4. Make the chocolate a once weekly treat - or one small (1/12 of a bar) piece daily.
  5. The gym is not a bad idea -- try to find something you like and have fun with.
  6. It may or may not be tough to control what food is available at home, but keep up the variety of real, wholesome, paleo foods that you eat. Bacon and chicken alone do not a happy paleo-er make.

2
532cfd279d793e8fcc23b9f6d91dde5c

(1981)

on February 04, 2013
at 10:25 PM

It must be really tough trying to take control of your health and diet while still living under your folks' roof. Good for you, you must have a really strong sense of self.

Tell your dad that, since you don't plan to inject yourself with testosterone, you don't have the hormonal profile to get really big muscles. He does sound like an asshole. Lifting weights is a great, fabulous plan.

It sounds like you are really on the right track, and you already know the habits you need to change (the sandwiches/coke/too much chocolate). And you are still growing at 14, so it is good that you want to feed yourself a really nutritious diet.

I would throw in some beef/lamb/goat instead of the chicken on a regular basis, if you have the option. Lots of important nutrients in the flesh and fat (and organs) of ruminants. Watch how much fruit you are eating if you want to shed fat. Get someone to show you how to lift weights properly

1
D87cf7bb07cfc85acf7203c17065d239

(268)

on February 04, 2013
at 11:34 PM

Hey I think you are doing really great! I am 19 and I dont know anyone else my age who ever attempts to eat anything healthy. There's some debate about whether cardio or weight lifting is "the right way", I say if you are exercising, more power to ya. Without a doubt if you keep with paleo you will start seeing results. I lost 22 lb . Oh and my dad gave me shit about my diet when I was that age too. He has always been eating SAD, but when he saw me eating chocolate he would sneer "your going to be fat when you grow up"

1
Ed6125fbb3e40ed42a03f4053adca7ec

on February 04, 2013
at 11:14 PM

I think you're making some good choices! You have the right idea by eating more protein and saturated fats, but I think you could cut back on the protein a little bit (as you are still very young) and eat more vegetables. If you are wanting to eat more saturated fat I would suggest avocados, nuts, or coconut milk, although I understand that these items may not be very accessible to you because your parents probably do the grocery shopping. I think you know what you have to do to manage your carbohydrate intake, but just keep in mind that it's important to reward yourself once in a while so you don't feel deprived. I think you will be more successful with this lifestyle if you allow yourself to indulge every once in a while, (just don't go crazy and have a sugar binge). If you are going to continue going for lunch with friends each week just make healthy choices, perhaps trade the coke in for a glass of water or a less sugary drink.

It's great that you are becoming more active, however I would stick to cardio rather than weight lifting. I've heard weight lifting is not recommended for kids because they are still growing, although some may disagree. So it may be a good idea for you to do some research on this.

Keep up the good work!

532cfd279d793e8fcc23b9f6d91dde5c

(1981)

on February 05, 2013
at 12:53 AM

Avocados and nuts have mostly monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats

Ed6125fbb3e40ed42a03f4053adca7ec

(45)

on February 05, 2013
at 05:18 AM

Which are great for weight loss, (in moderation of course).

0
Ed7403e397077dd1acdbf25c7f6e56ce

on February 19, 2013
at 03:10 PM

It doesn't really sound like your all that far off from where you should be. You don't mention any sort of activity level, just that the gym is in your future.

Seems like just getting involved in something physical would be the best thing for you. It might seem like you don't belong with the more athletic kids, but I think you'll be surprised by the support you'll receive. Be open about your goals, humble yourself and ask for help. That takes people out of the position of being mean, because you're boosting their esteem for them. Asking someone for help is basically a compliment to them.

Edit: Don't go too low carb. You're growing. Make healthier carb choices and be aware of your carb intake so it doesn't get out of balance with the rest of your diet. A meal for a 14 year old is not complete without a starch. (Maybe more of a high-fiber veg if dinner's real late) familiarize yourself with the glycemic index. Eat potatoes, sweet potatoes, bananas, squashes... don't eat cereal, bread...

Make damn sure you get some chocolate, ice cream, pizza, bread, popcorn, whatever you ENJOY at least once or twice a week. Our time here is short, and you are still a child. Personally, my whole motivation for eating like a scientist is so I can minimize the ill effects of my favorite junk foods.

Also... watch Fat Head. It's available for streaming on Netflix.

0
F5a0ddffcf9ef5beca864050f090a790

(15515)

on February 05, 2013
at 04:54 AM

Unfortunately, we don't have a choice when it comes to parents.

Some parents are really, REALLY bad. They are just unfit to be parents. But because being a parent does not require a license, an exam or even skills - all it takes is just not being careful.

So please realize this: even though biologically you share the same genes, you are NOT the same person as they are. You don't have to live with them for the rest of your life. You can leave them once you start making enough money. At some point it is going to be your choice whether you want to communicate with them or not - you can pretty much shut them out of your life.

This is not the case now though when you are dependent on them. So try to find a healthy balance by 1. reducing the amount of time you see them 2. restricting communication and making it civil.

How to go about it? Try to treat them formally - as if you are not their daughter, but a customer who deserves equal rights and respect. You also have to do your share when it comes to responsibilities. You don't have to listen to their rants, insults or excuses. You don't have to insult them as well (although I totally understand why you said what you said. I have said the same things to my dad as well when I was younger. Just learn how to prevent those kind of situations).

Find a positive and suitable social circle outside of your family. Spend as little time as possible with them. Enroll into different sports and social clubs. Leave the house early in the morning and come back before bedtime. As soon as you are going to reduce your communication with your parents to a polite and proper bare minimum... they are going to feel it. They will try to win you back. And it is going to be up to you to set up the rules on what they can and cannot say to you. You will have to live with them for another three-four years so make those years bearable.

As for your food choices - try to eat as clean as you can. Coke and chocolate will have to go, no doubt about it. It does not take a will power - just make it a habit.

Sandwiches are not Paleo, but they are okay once in a while as long as you make your own with sprouted grain bread, chicken meat and vegetables. Think of sandwiches as treats. Start cooking for yourself. The earlier you learn how to cook, the better!

Good luck and don't worry - we all went through it. Or most of us, at least. It is going to get better!

0
Ed6125fbb3e40ed42a03f4053adca7ec

on February 04, 2013
at 11:41 PM

Mild cardio should be alright (e.g., walking, cycling, and jogging).

-1
Ddf4f10b0038964cc1a2628d4d278a28

on February 19, 2013
at 01:04 PM

Exercising is very important, but to keep a diet is much more important (and more difficult, in my opinion) thing to do. I've lost 12 pounds already, yes I know it's a little but for me it is also a victory! I don't count calories, it makes no sense for me, I just gave up eating fast and fatty food and eat a lot of fruit, vegetables and drink juices (the products that help to burn calories - grapefruits,aloe vera drink or juice, green tea, spinach) And of course I drink water, about 6 glasses a day. But I guess giving up eating fast food is what helps me to lose weight the most.

-1
F0023b1ff08dc0fbe6e87f9783f8904c

on February 05, 2013
at 04:02 PM

Hello. I do not know, but I helped a workout that would lose weight and pump up the stomach by this system

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