5

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Short, Sarcastic, and Clear "Heart Attack" Response Needed

Answered on August 19, 2014
Created September 04, 2012 at 5:12 PM

Lately, my favorite afternoon breakfast has been three strips of bacon, layered with onions, butternut squash, spinach, and eggs, all fried in the the bacon fat. Sometimes I add a wee bit of cheese. I was telling my sister this (a low fat, instant oatmeal diehard), and she said, "Sounds like a heart attack."

I've been paleo for awhile now, have talked to her regularly about what it means, given her links, but she's stuck. You know how it is. And this is despite my great progress and health improvement, which she can see just by looking at me.

The time for explaining is over. I need help with a snappy, sarcastic, yet true response. Do you have any suggestions?

And while I'm here, a vegan friend has been pushing the eco-atkins diet at me. I'm not interested, but I wanted to hear your thoughts on the diet.

Cc3ce03985eac5ebcbb95fc2329f13b0

(7370)

on September 05, 2012
at 03:38 PM

I don't consider even regualar veganism healthy, so I totally agree with you. Plus, this incorporates all the foods I have given up and felt healthier for not eating. And, at the risk of being dreadfully un-PC, I love meat, I think it's a normal and essential part of the human diet. I support better farming practices, but cows are delicious.

Bb3d1772b28c02da2426e40dfcb533f5

(5381)

on September 05, 2012
at 02:35 PM

As for that "eco"-atkins, youd struggle to get the right kind of fats in there, via plants, or complete proteins. I mean, nuts and avocados and olives are good fats, but outside that it basically prescirbes using processed vegetable oils for your fat intake! ie PUFAs (and peanuts). And of course, if your eschewing meat, youd also have nutritional deficiencies. Silly vegans...lol.

Cc3ce03985eac5ebcbb95fc2329f13b0

(7370)

on September 04, 2012
at 09:40 PM

Sarcasm is the glue of our family. :/ In our case, it might actually help. I'm actually close to my sister, we get along very well. She's just having problems going against CW here.

Cc3ce03985eac5ebcbb95fc2329f13b0

(7370)

on September 04, 2012
at 09:38 PM

I'm sorry, VB, but you disagree with him about confounding variables? That makes him a BSer? I thought he was very funny, too.

F0a9dea438e7943fa05da318773e785e

on September 04, 2012
at 09:36 PM

I think he brings up key points about research. Research and the scientific method are not designed to give us magic cures or specific answers. Only to guide us towards possible areas to do more research and to seek out potential clues of things we had no idea about. Very few paths in research lead to indisputable causation.

6120c989fd5b69f42a0834b69b87955b

(24553)

on September 04, 2012
at 07:22 PM

Humor is a matter of personal taste, who's to say what I find funny you'll find funny? But I went to 12:02, I'm confused, what is false about "correlation does not equal causation" or the danger of not taking confounding factors in account? What was the falsehood he stated?

Medium avatar

(10611)

on September 04, 2012
at 07:19 PM

I have to listen to snipes all day long, on any topic imaginable. No point trying raising my blood pressure responding to them. Plug your ears and carry on. Think of some Billy Joel songs, like My Life or You May Be Right, plenty of comebacks there. But if you share them it'll escalate the war.

F5a0ddffcf9ef5beca864050f090a790

(15515)

on September 04, 2012
at 06:59 PM

Sorry to break it to you, Happy Now, but one of the facts that Tom Naughton claims is true is completely false (at 12:02). I cannot trust the guy after that. He is a bull$#itter in my eyes, sorry. And, by the way, he is completely not funny.

61844af1187e745e09bb394cbd28cf23

(11058)

on September 04, 2012
at 06:12 PM

Love the response to Dr. Oz!!!

Cc3ce03985eac5ebcbb95fc2329f13b0

(7370)

on September 04, 2012
at 05:57 PM

It is, I have to say, a totally awesome breakfast.

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10 Answers

13
3ce6a0d24be025e2f2af534545bdd1d7

(26217)

on September 04, 2012
at 05:37 PM

Q: How many SAD'ers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to stay in the dark!

9
F5a0ddffcf9ef5beca864050f090a790

(15515)

on September 04, 2012
at 06:24 PM

I would say, "I would rather die from a heart attack at 96 then die from cancer at 56".

5
3d58b5fb4f9780e2f47d4dcc53338a5a

(2771)

on September 05, 2012
at 01:02 AM

"My bloodwork is fine. How's yours?"

5
6120c989fd5b69f42a0834b69b87955b

(24553)

on September 04, 2012
at 05:30 PM

Just watched in horror a few days ago at the "heart healthy diet" served to an inlaw at the hospital that consisted primarily of instant low fat mashed potatoes and gravy and desserts. And wanted to have some serious words with whoever designed the menu. The one thing I would say is:

When you remove the traditional fats from food, they are replaced with sugar to maintain taste. Every lowfat packaged food out there will have added sugar or fake sweetener. The immediate inflammatory condition caused by excess sugar consumption is far more likely to stop your heart than a 1000 sticks of butter.

Or for someone who is more visual, and things saturated fats are solid in the body this Tom Naughton response to Dr. Oz is pretty darn hilarious (minute 2-3): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1RXvBveht0&feature=related

61844af1187e745e09bb394cbd28cf23

(11058)

on September 04, 2012
at 06:12 PM

Love the response to Dr. Oz!!!

F5a0ddffcf9ef5beca864050f090a790

(15515)

on September 04, 2012
at 06:59 PM

Sorry to break it to you, Happy Now, but one of the facts that Tom Naughton claims is true is completely false (at 12:02). I cannot trust the guy after that. He is a bull$#itter in my eyes, sorry. And, by the way, he is completely not funny.

6120c989fd5b69f42a0834b69b87955b

(24553)

on September 04, 2012
at 07:22 PM

Humor is a matter of personal taste, who's to say what I find funny you'll find funny? But I went to 12:02, I'm confused, what is false about "correlation does not equal causation" or the danger of not taking confounding factors in account? What was the falsehood he stated?

F0a9dea438e7943fa05da318773e785e

on September 04, 2012
at 09:36 PM

I think he brings up key points about research. Research and the scientific method are not designed to give us magic cures or specific answers. Only to guide us towards possible areas to do more research and to seek out potential clues of things we had no idea about. Very few paths in research lead to indisputable causation.

Cc3ce03985eac5ebcbb95fc2329f13b0

(7370)

on September 04, 2012
at 09:38 PM

I'm sorry, VB, but you disagree with him about confounding variables? That makes him a BSer? I thought he was very funny, too.

2
45ace03a0eff1219943d746cfb1c4197

(3661)

on September 04, 2012
at 05:31 PM

To the first, I'd respond "Thank you for sharing." and forget it. That sort of response from your sister is rude and hurtful. You'd just feel yucky later if you stoop to that level. We all get them. Somehow, it seems people feel it's okay to be rude when talking about meat or fat in the diet. I don't get it, but I witness it far too often.

Medium avatar

(10611)

on September 04, 2012
at 07:19 PM

I have to listen to snipes all day long, on any topic imaginable. No point trying raising my blood pressure responding to them. Plug your ears and carry on. Think of some Billy Joel songs, like My Life or You May Be Right, plenty of comebacks there. But if you share them it'll escalate the war.

Cc3ce03985eac5ebcbb95fc2329f13b0

(7370)

on September 04, 2012
at 09:40 PM

Sarcasm is the glue of our family. :/ In our case, it might actually help. I'm actually close to my sister, we get along very well. She's just having problems going against CW here.

1
06ca9c524c28bc3fba95d4d90f8f43c6

on September 05, 2012
at 04:57 AM

When someone questions my plates of bacon, or my giant, fatty steak and makes the heart attack reference, I simply respond with this: "If you think that's bad, you should see the giant stick of butter I put in my coffee this morning."

-Matt
PhysiqueRescue.com

1
A3a4696c919e916ec971691559e9c942

(2043)

on September 04, 2012
at 05:29 PM

There is no way a heart attack could taste that good. And frankly, even if you did have a heart attack at least that would be one awesome last meal.

Cc3ce03985eac5ebcbb95fc2329f13b0

(7370)

on September 04, 2012
at 05:57 PM

It is, I have to say, a totally awesome breakfast.

0
Bb3d1772b28c02da2426e40dfcb533f5

(5381)

on September 05, 2012
at 05:30 AM

For that "eco"-atkins, youd struggle to get the right kind of fats in there, via plants, or complete proteins. I mean, nuts and avocados and olives are good fats, but outside that it basically prescirbes using processed vegetable oils for your fat intake! ie PUFAs (and peanuts). And of course, if your eschewing meat, youd also have nutritional deficiencies.

Silly vegans...lol, sounds like a ticket to really bad health. I mean youd probably be better with higher grain intake than higher pufas and more soy.

IDK how they consider it not restrictive on that website either. I cant think of a more restrictive diet prescription than vegan with lower carbs and higher fats and proteins.

Cc3ce03985eac5ebcbb95fc2329f13b0

(7370)

on September 05, 2012
at 03:38 PM

I don't consider even regualar veganism healthy, so I totally agree with you. Plus, this incorporates all the foods I have given up and felt healthier for not eating. And, at the risk of being dreadfully un-PC, I love meat, I think it's a normal and essential part of the human diet. I support better farming practices, but cows are delicious.

Bb3d1772b28c02da2426e40dfcb533f5

(5381)

on September 05, 2012
at 02:35 PM

As for that "eco"-atkins, youd struggle to get the right kind of fats in there, via plants, or complete proteins. I mean, nuts and avocados and olives are good fats, but outside that it basically prescirbes using processed vegetable oils for your fat intake! ie PUFAs (and peanuts). And of course, if your eschewing meat, youd also have nutritional deficiencies. Silly vegans...lol.

0
931a99246c4b901c8cabd52da1e9f6d2

on September 05, 2012
at 12:43 AM

I would tell her to go peddle her negativity elsewhere. OR the only attacking your heart is doing is falling in love...

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