1

votes

My father... He's depressed.

Answered on August 19, 2014
Created February 01, 2012 at 4:52 PM

My depression went a way months ago. I haven't thought once about suicide, giving up, ... since then. Unfortunately, some of my family members are still mentally ill...

I want to help out my father, but he gets angry easily, and while he agrees with me on some things now (took me a while to convince him), he will never eat paleo. His parents lived pretty much on grains, you see. And he loves his parents.

Since he retired he never has things to do and feels down all the time. He doesn't say it, but it's very clear. Our house is small, and my mother is kinda sad because she finds it hard to be around someone who's sad all the time. She cut out sugar a long time ago and cured her mental (mood) problems that way, so she doesn't like it when people give up or do nothing.

It's clear that he starts ditching his friends one by one. I'm afraid that, because it's harder for older persons to make new friends, he will ruin his own life slowly.

But what can I do? He doesn't like the way I eat at all (he has cholesterol issues and still thinks eggs, butter and meat caused it), so he will never do those kind of changes. He doesn't really like fish. He almost fainted when I said I only ate meat for a month. Basically he won't change his diet...

246ebf68e35743f62e5e187891b9cba0

(21430)

on February 02, 2012
at 01:22 PM

Korion, if you make a pot of chili with 1lbs of lean ground beef and only 4oz of liver (adding 16oz of stock, onion, and spices), one half of that batch (about 600gm worth according to cron-o-meter) will have 9647iu of Vitamin A, or about 200% USRDA. It will also have 24g of niacin, or about 120% USRDA. And with the spices in the chili powder and cumin, I strongly doubt he'd even notice.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on February 02, 2012
at 08:06 AM

Haha, liver. You should see his face when I eat it or talk about it. But I have some vitamin A and niacin supplements so I'll try to make a delicious thing some day and sneak it in there. The problem is that, if I try to sneak in niacin, he'll notice the flush (I only have flushing niacin). Thanks Joshua :)!

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on February 02, 2012
at 08:04 AM

I'm gonna give him a big pot of refined coconut oil I don't use anymore (already 100x better than what he uses atm...).

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on February 02, 2012
at 08:03 AM

I love this advice. He loves doing things with his hands :) Changing his diet will be impossible. He doesn't eat that unhealthy you know, he eats salads and fruits and potatoes. But he doesn't eat a lot of animals, and he eats a lot of bread. I can't make him stop eating bread, and he likes animals too much so he won't eat more meat. It will take time to convince him meat isn't bad for your cholesterol...

Ce41c230e8c2a4295db31aec3ef4b2ab

(32564)

on February 02, 2012
at 02:32 AM

D totally cured my SAD. See if you can get him up to 5,000 IU/day--better yet, get him tested!

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on February 02, 2012
at 01:34 AM

Eva, bear is not processed crap food. Did you mean beer?

956bcad1d462d433a4e1e22f6e3355d5

(1191)

on February 01, 2012
at 06:20 PM

Different economical setting. Not that surprising

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on February 01, 2012
at 05:47 PM

I will not give up :) He's looking for a job, but if he works more then one day per week he loses his pension. So he doesn't find anything. My mother and I tried to tell him money isn't important, but he doesn't agree... I don't understand that way of thinking : so you rather have more money and less life?

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on February 01, 2012
at 05:44 PM

Vitamin D did the trick for me too, btw :)

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on February 01, 2012
at 05:44 PM

He already does! Though the dose is kinda low (25k IU once a month).

Ab19df3ededa28f7bf7daeba8435b205

(1471)

on February 01, 2012
at 05:21 PM

ALSO, even though it is hard to see him go through this just keep working on him, dont give up but if it takes an emotional toll on you to where you are sliding into old mental habits make sure to get some assistance outside the family. :)

  • B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

    asked by

    (8938)
  • Views
    1.3K
  • Last Activity
    1429D AGO
Frontpage book

Get FREE instant access to our Paleo For Beginners Guide & 15 FREE Recipes!

5 Answers

5
4a13d5e9618b5e0aa1cd1d2d28eb5539

on February 01, 2012
at 05:15 PM

If possible, could you talk him into supplementing with Vitamin D? It has helped me immensely.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on February 01, 2012
at 05:44 PM

He already does! Though the dose is kinda low (25k IU once a month).

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on February 01, 2012
at 05:44 PM

Vitamin D did the trick for me too, btw :)

Ce41c230e8c2a4295db31aec3ef4b2ab

(32564)

on February 02, 2012
at 02:32 AM

D totally cured my SAD. See if you can get him up to 5,000 IU/day--better yet, get him tested!

3
956bcad1d462d433a4e1e22f6e3355d5

(1191)

on February 01, 2012
at 06:46 PM

A little suggestion about changing his diet. Maybe you should address this to him indirectly. Don't preach Paleo, keep your talks with him spontaneous and try to get your own health problems in check. As his son, I'm sure he cares for you and thus seeing your improvements, he might get more interested and more open to changes in his diet.

At least that's the way it works with me. I talk about Paleo, preach a little here and there and nobody will listen. But when I just shut up about food, people will start asking about it. Making it a bit more mysterious by giving short answers instead of details that bore them easily even makes them wonder more.

3
Ab19df3ededa28f7bf7daeba8435b205

on February 01, 2012
at 05:20 PM

Can you get him to go back to some other type of work? volunteer, something a few times a week?

Ab19df3ededa28f7bf7daeba8435b205

(1471)

on February 01, 2012
at 05:21 PM

ALSO, even though it is hard to see him go through this just keep working on him, dont give up but if it takes an emotional toll on you to where you are sliding into old mental habits make sure to get some assistance outside the family. :)

956bcad1d462d433a4e1e22f6e3355d5

(1191)

on February 01, 2012
at 06:20 PM

Different economical setting. Not that surprising

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on February 01, 2012
at 05:47 PM

I will not give up :) He's looking for a job, but if he works more then one day per week he loses his pension. So he doesn't find anything. My mother and I tried to tell him money isn't important, but he doesn't agree... I don't understand that way of thinking : so you rather have more money and less life?

2
62ed65f3596aa2f62fa1d58a0c09f8c3

(20807)

on February 01, 2012
at 06:59 PM

You could just try having him cut out processed crap food like cake, bear, etc. Have him cut out all stuff that you both agree is unhealthy. He could still eat low cholesterol meat, veggies, rice, potatoes, etc. That stuff is not all the paleo ideal for all paleo eaters, but I bet a lot of people would be a lot better off if they ate half paleo. Eating is not all or nothing.

Also, if diet is a point of contention, why not start with other things that are also good for depression. Initiate a daily exercise walk. No one would argue walking is unhealthy. You don't have to make it strenuous, just relaxing. He can get out in the sun and you can go with him and talk with him. Even moderate exercise can give a big boost to the mood. Plus he can talk with you. Try not to argue with him too much. Target the points of least resistance/contention. You could argue that walking is relaxing and good for the body and cholesterol counts. Depending on his nature, you could even pretend you need help with something (maybe good for his ego) and that you will repay him with something else (maybe some help with some other project that also involves exercise). It would get you both out in the sun, talking, and getting some exercise. Maybe you could even work out a big joint project to work on, maybe putting up a fence, fixing something in the community, etc. But first you take the first steps and make them easy for him. Then LISTEN to him and look very hard for an area where his inclinations already direct him. Try to go for things he already kinda wants to do that you think might be good for him. Make him think it was his idea!
;-) -Eva

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on February 02, 2012
at 08:03 AM

I love this advice. He loves doing things with his hands :) Changing his diet will be impossible. He doesn't eat that unhealthy you know, he eats salads and fruits and potatoes. But he doesn't eat a lot of animals, and he eats a lot of bread. I can't make him stop eating bread, and he likes animals too much so he won't eat more meat. It will take time to convince him meat isn't bad for your cholesterol...

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on February 02, 2012
at 08:04 AM

I'm gonna give him a big pot of refined coconut oil I don't use anymore (already 100x better than what he uses atm...).

77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on February 02, 2012
at 01:34 AM

Eva, bear is not processed crap food. Did you mean beer?

1
246ebf68e35743f62e5e187891b9cba0

(21430)

on February 01, 2012
at 09:13 PM

For a member of my family who has been off medication for about a year for clinical depression, it's definitely a combination niacin and vitamin A. Not Paleo, but does enjoy traditional foods, including offal (mostly braunshweiger or Kosher deli chopped liver).

The funk goes away when eating enough Vitamin A, and got even better with Niacin as well... influenced by watching Food Matters (I think), and whether niacin is the wonderdrug for depression or not, it does seem to have an impact.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on February 02, 2012
at 08:06 AM

Haha, liver. You should see his face when I eat it or talk about it. But I have some vitamin A and niacin supplements so I'll try to make a delicious thing some day and sneak it in there. The problem is that, if I try to sneak in niacin, he'll notice the flush (I only have flushing niacin). Thanks Joshua :)!

246ebf68e35743f62e5e187891b9cba0

(21430)

on February 02, 2012
at 01:22 PM

Korion, if you make a pot of chili with 1lbs of lean ground beef and only 4oz of liver (adding 16oz of stock, onion, and spices), one half of that batch (about 600gm worth according to cron-o-meter) will have 9647iu of Vitamin A, or about 200% USRDA. It will also have 24g of niacin, or about 120% USRDA. And with the spices in the chili powder and cumin, I strongly doubt he'd even notice.

Answer Question


Get FREE instant access to our
Paleo For Beginners Guide & 15 FREE Recipes!