17

votes

When do you break it to someone you've started dating, or even a new acquaintance or collegue, that you're Paleo?

Answered on September 12, 2014
Created October 14, 2010 at 6:32 PM

Do you try to sneak it in on the first date? "Oh, you'd like to offer me a bite of your chicken alfredo pasta? Well, I'm not high maintenance or anything, but I happen to abstain from grains/gluten/legumes/dairy/all processed food/factory-farmed meat/nightshades, so, no, thank you?"

Or do you wait until a few dates in, once you can tell that they like you? "Oh, you want me to meet your friends for pizza and beer? Well, I'd love to meet your friends, but I don't eat grains/gluten/legumes/dairy/all processed food/factory-farmed meat/nightshades. Huh, I guess it just hadn't come up yet. How about a steak and tequila shooters instead?"

I tend to stick with the latter, if only because I go out on a lot of first dates and I don't want to get into the trouble of explaining Paleo to someone I won't see again. But sometimes waiting until things get a bit more intimate seems have this effect of freaking people out that I'm suddenly very different from what they'd imagined. How do you handle it?

154bf5c84f7bd9f52b361b45d05dbc3a

(1215)

on September 07, 2013
at 01:28 AM

Throw in a few comments like 'Eating meat make me feel like some kind of wild animal' and you are good to go ;)

C45d7e96acd83d3a6f58193dbc140e86

on July 19, 2012
at 12:06 AM

Solid answer about processed foods!

C45d7e96acd83d3a6f58193dbc140e86

on July 19, 2012
at 12:05 AM

As much as I would like that to be true, sadly it is not. Some people are doing paleo because they want to be a sexy healthy person, but they are still a work in progress. hope this doesn't offend anyone.

Ecb90bbbd5a15868b2592d517a4a5e82

(280)

on July 18, 2012
at 11:48 PM

There's never any need to tell anyone. The most I've ever said was, "I have a sensitive stomach so I'm trying out gluten-free. Otherwise I don't feel so well afterwards. I really feel much better when I avoid gluten. But you go ahead, I'm sure it's delicious."

0bc6cbb653cdc5e82400f6da920f11eb

(19235)

on July 18, 2012
at 11:13 PM

It is ok to link to your site in your profile and refer to it but if you just go spaming posts with adverts and links to your site they will be deleted. Otherwise everyone would do it and this place would be full of spam.

47edf681280750c3712a3a56f2eae33b

on July 11, 2012
at 03:37 PM

Cool Olga. Definitely the way you frame your lifestyle is important.

47edf681280750c3712a3a56f2eae33b

on July 11, 2012
at 03:33 PM

Steak and tequila shooters? Good plan!

8f866995a598bb617f8d5347d7d9a309

(20)

on July 11, 2012
at 02:41 PM

I actually launched a dating site for all dieters (I've been paleo for almost 3 years now) to solve this specific problem. It's called SamePlate.com and it's 100% free! Please visit it today, and start dating that caveman or cavegirl now! SamePlate.com, the dating site that matches people by the food they eat (or don’t eat)! And unlike other sites that charge a premium to contact other members, SamePlate is 100% FREE!!! SamePlate.com: Same Food, Same Love, Same Life. No need for pick up lines, and none of the pressures of dating — Just start a conversation about food!

1da74185531d6d4c7182fb9ee417f97f

(10904)

on May 31, 2011
at 02:27 AM

Yeah, I got the stink eye from my relatives for not eating fruit while I was visiting them recently. Even though I was eating dark leafy greens with every single meal!

65430e39d7e9e9322718d016fe668051

(2944)

on May 30, 2011
at 07:34 PM

I actually had a guy I had been dating break up with me a couple weeks ago because I "eat too healthy" and it was "annoying" that I ordered my food to be cooked in olive oil instead of vegetable oil... ten minutes after I told him vegetable oil makes me sick.

9f933fedd259b97a5369c3ee5dae3151

(341)

on May 30, 2011
at 04:11 PM

+1 Nomadic - I may appropriate that line.

F4d04667059bc682540fdfd8b40f13a7

on March 16, 2011
at 05:32 AM

You sound like the perfect date MasterB, I'm looking forward to it!

4ff24fb9a7d48305681487dfb8040a5e

(383)

on March 16, 2011
at 05:10 AM

how about nothing for breakfast, nothing for lunch and a big ribeye for dinner? I bet I'd be a better date :-)

F4d04667059bc682540fdfd8b40f13a7

on March 16, 2011
at 01:10 AM

I need that website! I wanted to run on the last date I went on, when the guy proudly told me how he has left over Pizza for breakfast, McDonalds for lunch and alternating take-away's for dinner every night. Needless to say that was the first and last date.

A6cffe7397214f338ae098613eea6737

(50)

on March 12, 2011
at 08:23 PM

I bet he thought he made something significant. Yet reality did not meet his expectations.

A6cffe7397214f338ae098613eea6737

(50)

on March 12, 2011
at 08:19 PM

That website is a good idea :)

D67e7b481854b02110d5a5b21d6789b1

(4101)

on October 16, 2010
at 05:14 PM

This has to be one of the best answers on this website!

84666a86108dee8d11cbbc85b6382083

(2399)

on October 16, 2010
at 10:50 AM

This is spot on. Vote up people !

95601768ec9cb75cc3a9cbcd2271ed14

(2206)

on October 16, 2010
at 06:02 AM

me too. as well as "some fat girl." i get what you are saying, but the way you are doing it=ick.

D30ff86ad2c1f3b43b99aed213bcf461

on October 15, 2010
at 08:09 PM

Your Dr. Oz quote just activated my eye twitch.

E46d4f7e35e46ee4e8211ab4bc852023

(1510)

on October 15, 2010
at 03:47 PM

I do agree with the concept of framing things as personalized to yourself and trying not to use global statements about scientific findings, even if they are true. People are a lot less likely to feel attacked in their own eating habits and take offense that way.

E46d4f7e35e46ee4e8211ab4bc852023

(1510)

on October 15, 2010
at 03:44 PM

eww! even if I ate bread, I wouldn't want a piece that a near stranger manhandled for me, especially if it was question the last time that person washed their hands.

E46d4f7e35e46ee4e8211ab4bc852023

(1510)

on October 15, 2010
at 03:42 PM

agreed with NomadicNeill.

462a1b3d2bf9c8ad7340058eaf9ee881

(80)

on October 15, 2010
at 02:03 PM

Reminds me of a recent first and LAST date in which my date tore a hunk of bread from the basket, buttered it, and put it on my plate...I was like "What the???" Then he smiled and looked at me with pleading eyes like he deserved a gold star or something...sheesh.

154bf5c84f7bd9f52b361b45d05dbc3a

(1215)

on October 15, 2010
at 11:57 AM

I disapprove of the term 'random bar skanks'.

154bf5c84f7bd9f52b361b45d05dbc3a

(1215)

on October 15, 2010
at 11:55 AM

Paleo dating site? Sounds like a plan... I'm on it!

154bf5c84f7bd9f52b361b45d05dbc3a

(1215)

on October 15, 2010
at 11:54 AM

Sounds like a plan... I'm on it!

1f70da0b737e9c6e7679a248f4228a01

on October 15, 2010
at 10:34 AM

I do find myself wondering about this sometimes, so I often avoid labelling myself anything, and instead being a bit more individual and descriptive: "I've been studying nutrition and bio-chem for two years now and it has lead me to understand how my body responds to certain foods, so I tend to avoid foods that I know will negatively impact upon my health." That way I'm being more honest, and it gives the correct impression that I'm not just following some trend or theory but am making informed decisions based on scientific research. It also leaves it open for them to ask about specifics.

5841391284e7af8c495c54bd90d3a795

(2764)

on October 15, 2010
at 06:19 AM

*I've found I come off as preachy if I bring it up, but I can manipulate the situation to be their query, then they actually are more likely to listen.* So true!

77732bf6bf2b8a360f523ef87c3b7523

(6157)

on October 15, 2010
at 02:54 AM

I eat between 6-12 eggs most mornings... sometimes I bring them into the office (boiled, poached, whatever). Man, do they think I'm crazy.

62ed65f3596aa2f62fa1d58a0c09f8c3

(20807)

on October 15, 2010
at 02:39 AM

I tell them my cholesterol is and alway has been in the normal healthy range! ;-) (I have an easy out on that one..)

62ed65f3596aa2f62fa1d58a0c09f8c3

(20807)

on October 15, 2010
at 02:37 AM

"I agree that sugar is bad. That's why I only eat whole grain!" (heard that one just today..)

62ed65f3596aa2f62fa1d58a0c09f8c3

(20807)

on October 15, 2010
at 02:35 AM

Jae, this is almost exactly my approach as well, but you make it sound more humerous the way you say it! Yeah, I typically wait until they know me a bit better before slowly telling them more details about my eating methods. I am waiting for them to know me well enough to think I am NOT crazy, before starting to sound a bit crazy.

77732bf6bf2b8a360f523ef87c3b7523

(6157)

on October 15, 2010
at 01:28 AM

"I totally saw this thing on Oprah/Dr. Oz about how a vegan diet is healthier -- AND better for the planet!"... ok, now I'll stop.

77732bf6bf2b8a360f523ef87c3b7523

(6157)

on October 15, 2010
at 01:21 AM

"Plus eating so much red meat is going to give you cancer and heart disease!"

77732bf6bf2b8a360f523ef87c3b7523

(6157)

on October 15, 2010
at 01:20 AM

Haha yes, hence the quote marks.

667f6c030b0245d71d8ef50c72b097dc

(15976)

on October 14, 2010
at 10:49 PM

think Jae was being sarcastic.

E46d4f7e35e46ee4e8211ab4bc852023

(1510)

on October 14, 2010
at 10:32 PM

Seriously! If there's a veggiedate.org, where is ours?

462a1b3d2bf9c8ad7340058eaf9ee881

(80)

on October 14, 2010
at 10:19 PM

Too bad there aren't isn't a paleodate website!

286a4ff7c362241c5c4b020df4972212

(1288)

on October 14, 2010
at 09:27 PM

Jae are you sure you are in the right place ?

77732bf6bf2b8a360f523ef87c3b7523

(6157)

on October 14, 2010
at 09:01 PM

"What about whole grains? What about beans? I thought those were supposed to be healthy."

9e1dedf12f6ee75b7fe460960971fd21

(624)

on October 14, 2010
at 08:06 PM

True! +1. Health consciousness is a good thing

4b97e3bb2ee4a9588783f5d56d687da1

(22923)

on October 14, 2010
at 06:38 PM

Steak and Tequila shots!

  • E46d4f7e35e46ee4e8211ab4bc852023

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17 Answers

best answer

20
77732bf6bf2b8a360f523ef87c3b7523

(6157)

on October 14, 2010
at 07:52 PM

I tell them right away that "I generally don't eat processed food." Simple, true, and everybody can agree on it, even nutritionists and doctors.

If you go into the intricacies of Paleo, the truth about cholesterol and saturated fat, and why whole grains are bad, your date WILL think you are crazy. It doesn't matter if you know Good Calories, Bad Calories by heart. It doesn't matter if you have an elevator pitch. Unless you are a Jedi or Seth Godin, your date will think you are crazy.

Cognitive dissonance is a bitch. When you've heard for 30 years that arterycloggingsaturatedfat will kill you and your date starts talking about how he eats coconut oil out of the jar, your date will sound crazy.

I'm not bitter.

62ed65f3596aa2f62fa1d58a0c09f8c3

(20807)

on October 15, 2010
at 02:35 AM

Jae, this is almost exactly my approach as well, but you make it sound more humerous the way you say it! Yeah, I typically wait until they know me a bit better before slowly telling them more details about my eating methods. I am waiting for them to know me well enough to think I am NOT crazy, before starting to sound a bit crazy.

D67e7b481854b02110d5a5b21d6789b1

(4101)

on October 16, 2010
at 05:14 PM

This has to be one of the best answers on this website!

C45d7e96acd83d3a6f58193dbc140e86

on July 19, 2012
at 12:06 AM

Solid answer about processed foods!

10
E0965e067b72ea7a45d6fad6f164e132

on October 15, 2010
at 04:36 AM

ASAP. If you are eating Paleo you are a sexy healthy person, so why would you hide the reason you are a healthy sexy person? And why would you want to be with someone who doesn't get that?

84666a86108dee8d11cbbc85b6382083

(2399)

on October 16, 2010
at 10:50 AM

This is spot on. Vote up people !

C45d7e96acd83d3a6f58193dbc140e86

on July 19, 2012
at 12:05 AM

As much as I would like that to be true, sadly it is not. Some people are doing paleo because they want to be a sexy healthy person, but they are still a work in progress. hope this doesn't offend anyone.

7
4b97e3bb2ee4a9588783f5d56d687da1

on October 14, 2010
at 06:48 PM

I would share Gluten Intolerance and That you like to eat healthy up front. No real details, until they ask. Everyone knows I won't eat wheat in my office, I only share the why if people ask.

No gluten is difficult to spring on someone after the fact the same reason you detailed above, I just make sure I casually mention it as soon as something is around. If restaurant, ask for a gluten free menu. Then they're asking You why. If at a party, If alcohol, I request hard liquor and avoid the snacks, if offered, say: sorry, that's gluten, or if sugar, nah, I'm fasting. Which solicit questions.

I've found I come off as preachy if I bring it up, but I can manipulate the situation to be their query, then they actually are more likely to listen.

5841391284e7af8c495c54bd90d3a795

(2764)

on October 15, 2010
at 06:19 AM

*I've found I come off as preachy if I bring it up, but I can manipulate the situation to be their query, then they actually are more likely to listen.* So true!

6
6fa48935d439390e223b9a053a62c981

(1676)

on October 14, 2010
at 08:47 PM

I don't see any reason to overthink this. Vegetarians surely don't fret about telling anyone how they eat, so why should we? Tell people you eat quality meat, fresh fruits, and vegetables. You don't even have to label that paleo. How can anyone but a vegetarian possibly think that sounds unhealthy?

What I'm saying is you don't OWE anyone any explanations. Simply state what you eat and leave it at that. You don't have to explain yourself if you don't want to. This question, to my mind, implies feelings of discomfort when telling people about your chosen diet. If people try to rebut your statement, as per some comments below, you don't have to engage if you don't want to. In telling people about my diet I have only heard one disparaging remark (meat causes cancer), and I started laughing. I fly my paleo freak flag proudly, and don't much care if anyone disagrees.

77732bf6bf2b8a360f523ef87c3b7523

(6157)

on October 15, 2010
at 01:20 AM

Haha yes, hence the quote marks.

77732bf6bf2b8a360f523ef87c3b7523

(6157)

on October 15, 2010
at 01:21 AM

"Plus eating so much red meat is going to give you cancer and heart disease!"

77732bf6bf2b8a360f523ef87c3b7523

(6157)

on October 14, 2010
at 09:01 PM

"What about whole grains? What about beans? I thought those were supposed to be healthy."

77732bf6bf2b8a360f523ef87c3b7523

(6157)

on October 15, 2010
at 01:28 AM

"I totally saw this thing on Oprah/Dr. Oz about how a vegan diet is healthier -- AND better for the planet!"... ok, now I'll stop.

667f6c030b0245d71d8ef50c72b097dc

(15976)

on October 14, 2010
at 10:49 PM

think Jae was being sarcastic.

62ed65f3596aa2f62fa1d58a0c09f8c3

(20807)

on October 15, 2010
at 02:37 AM

"I agree that sugar is bad. That's why I only eat whole grain!" (heard that one just today..)

286a4ff7c362241c5c4b020df4972212

(1288)

on October 14, 2010
at 09:27 PM

Jae are you sure you are in the right place ?

D30ff86ad2c1f3b43b99aed213bcf461

on October 15, 2010
at 08:09 PM

Your Dr. Oz quote just activated my eye twitch.

6
37f1450fbce9bcbcf6736425936553d2

(415)

on October 14, 2010
at 07:41 PM

Tell'm "I eat paleo". And be proud of it! Don't make it sound like a weakness or "news to break". Most guys will think it's cool. We love women who eat healthy and stay fit!

9e1dedf12f6ee75b7fe460960971fd21

(624)

on October 14, 2010
at 08:06 PM

True! +1. Health consciousness is a good thing

65430e39d7e9e9322718d016fe668051

(2944)

on May 30, 2011
at 07:34 PM

I actually had a guy I had been dating break up with me a couple weeks ago because I "eat too healthy" and it was "annoying" that I ordered my food to be cooked in olive oil instead of vegetable oil... ten minutes after I told him vegetable oil makes me sick.

5
04293f705870e1837b8670d3c1cd5f67

on October 14, 2010
at 09:38 PM

I often wondered if saying you're "paleo" has the same reaction that I have in my mind when someone tells me they are vegan. Seems like "vegan" is like a religion. Are paleo's more tolerant & calm? I can very easily sit at a dinner or restaurant and I feel that I am flexible enough to NOT draw attention to myself about eating meat/fat and NOT eating bread/pasta.

I like the "I generally don't eat processed foods," answer. Generally speaking I think embracing Paleo on a first date could be a great idea and might open up new possibilities.

1f70da0b737e9c6e7679a248f4228a01

on October 15, 2010
at 10:34 AM

I do find myself wondering about this sometimes, so I often avoid labelling myself anything, and instead being a bit more individual and descriptive: "I've been studying nutrition and bio-chem for two years now and it has lead me to understand how my body responds to certain foods, so I tend to avoid foods that I know will negatively impact upon my health." That way I'm being more honest, and it gives the correct impression that I'm not just following some trend or theory but am making informed decisions based on scientific research. It also leaves it open for them to ask about specifics.

3
A3e654929c08c0723607842656b57f8f

(834)

on October 15, 2010
at 12:15 PM

I use it as a strength. Last Friday I had a date at a Middle Eastern restaurant and she liked that I was picky about what I eat (the fact that I did not just scarf down everything that was in front of me). I used it as a transition to saying I was doing it for my soul and that I found deep down it satisfies my primal side. I have decided this is the only way I am going to sell it on first dates.

154bf5c84f7bd9f52b361b45d05dbc3a

(1215)

on September 07, 2013
at 01:28 AM

Throw in a few comments like 'Eating meat make me feel like some kind of wild animal' and you are good to go ;)

9f933fedd259b97a5369c3ee5dae3151

(341)

on May 30, 2011
at 04:11 PM

+1 Nomadic - I may appropriate that line.

3
154bf5c84f7bd9f52b361b45d05dbc3a

(1215)

on October 15, 2010
at 11:59 AM

Just frame it as:

  • 'I like eating healthy'
  • 'XYZ food makes me feel ill'
  • 'I don't like the taste of XYZ'

E46d4f7e35e46ee4e8211ab4bc852023

(1510)

on October 15, 2010
at 03:47 PM

I do agree with the concept of framing things as personalized to yourself and trying not to use global statements about scientific findings, even if they are true. People are a lot less likely to feel attacked in their own eating habits and take offense that way.

47edf681280750c3712a3a56f2eae33b

on July 11, 2012
at 03:37 PM

Cool Olga. Definitely the way you frame your lifestyle is important.

2
65125edd5aafad39b3d5b3a8b4a36bb7

on October 14, 2010
at 08:56 PM

Take up something like CrossFit so you'll meet people who are already open to the idea of Paleo. Then you don't have to deal with people rejecting your lifestyle choices.

1
Bb3d1772b28c02da2426e40dfcb533f5

(5381)

on July 11, 2012
at 03:11 PM

Some people like crazy. They call it "quirky" and "interesting".

0
71ffb1c8e05e1e2018057e1f29425c1a

on July 18, 2012
at 09:11 PM

I just launched my own site to solve the dating issues I came across. It allows free and full access, sign up today! All alternative diet lifestyles are welcome. You can search for members by alternative diet lifestyle. See you there!

0bc6cbb653cdc5e82400f6da920f11eb

(19235)

on July 18, 2012
at 11:13 PM

It is ok to link to your site in your profile and refer to it but if you just go spaming posts with adverts and links to your site they will be deleted. Otherwise everyone would do it and this place would be full of spam.

0
68294383ced9a0eafc16133aa80d1905

(5795)

on July 11, 2012
at 02:44 PM

I'd probably not be dating them unless they knew this (and more)...

0
8f866995a598bb617f8d5347d7d9a309

on July 11, 2012
at 02:41 PM

I actually launched a dating site for all dieters (I've been paleo for almost 3 years now) to solve this specific problem. It's called SamePlate.com and it's 100% free! Please visit it today, and start dating that caveman or cavegirl now!

SamePlate.com, the dating site that matches people by the food they eat (or don’t eat)! And unlike other sites that charge a premium to contact other members, SamePlate is 100% FREE!!! SamePlate.com: Same Food, Same Love, Same Life.

No need for pick up lines, and none of the pressures of dating — Just start a conversation about food!

0
3fc07ff31006b1860083f0cfe4472ae4

(561)

on May 30, 2011
at 03:59 PM

In my circles most people I run into are hip to "ancestral eating" of some sort or another so I sometimes say that I follow a "sorta ancestral ideas of eating--mostly grass-fed meats and vegetables." This is the foodie way too, so it doesn't sound so strange.

I also sometimes say I'm doing an "elimination diet to tinker w/some little health issues" since Dr. Mercola and other elimination diets are very similar to the paleo diet. Actually, this is what I tell close friends who know me well and know that I've already been a health nut and gluten-free for years.

I find it hardest to tell people I don't eat fruit--especially in romantic situations--in summer!!! It seems sorta prudish to not eat the ever-so-sensual fruits on warm nights!

1da74185531d6d4c7182fb9ee417f97f

(10904)

on May 31, 2011
at 02:27 AM

Yeah, I got the stink eye from my relatives for not eating fruit while I was visiting them recently. Even though I was eating dark leafy greens with every single meal!

0
A68f24168bc0de414a038037e287b581

on October 15, 2010
at 01:06 AM

I don't feel like sharing right away, it must in context. At work they know already I don't eat grains (they know enough about gluten/celiac) and sugar. I do get weird looks when I eat three eggs at once ("I don't want to know what your cholesterol will be like!"). I found there is no sense in preaching... sometimes i get into arguments if there is a discussion. My problem is, that I have a few colleagues who are serious about being healthy, just they don't have the same understanding of what exactly "healthy" is. If someone asks, I am happy to explain. They see what I eat, they can ask, but I can't see any need to explain details and all the science behind...

62ed65f3596aa2f62fa1d58a0c09f8c3

(20807)

on October 15, 2010
at 02:39 AM

I tell them my cholesterol is and alway has been in the normal healthy range! ;-) (I have an easy out on that one..)

77732bf6bf2b8a360f523ef87c3b7523

(6157)

on October 15, 2010
at 02:54 AM

I eat between 6-12 eggs most mornings... sometimes I bring them into the office (boiled, poached, whatever). Man, do they think I'm crazy.

0
187657ec9b2b8b32730f68c5602698af

(129)

on October 14, 2010
at 09:57 PM

Usually they know by the time we go out on a date, as I tend to date people in my social circles, not random bar skanks. When it's not a surprise out of nowhere, explaining the details of biochem that I use to justify my diet makes surprisingly good table talk.

I also recommend doing the first part: it's not going to work out in the long run with some fat girl who likes to eat lots of pasta. The probability of me making something long-term is a lot higher with, say, a girl I met Crossfitting or the like.

95601768ec9cb75cc3a9cbcd2271ed14

(2206)

on October 16, 2010
at 06:02 AM

me too. as well as "some fat girl." i get what you are saying, but the way you are doing it=ick.

154bf5c84f7bd9f52b361b45d05dbc3a

(1215)

on October 15, 2010
at 11:57 AM

I disapprove of the term 'random bar skanks'.

E46d4f7e35e46ee4e8211ab4bc852023

(1510)

on October 15, 2010
at 03:42 PM

agreed with NomadicNeill.

0
Ef9f83cb4e1826261a44c173f733789e

on October 14, 2010
at 07:12 PM

The first time you go to dinner, you can casually mention you don't want any bread. Let the date notice it and wait for him/her to ask why. Then you can go into a high-level explanation at first. You definately want to avoid an awkward moment by having them make dinner for you before knowing what you're into.

When introducing the paleo diet to someone, I first give a short and high-level "bullet list" of the key points. I'll go into further detail depending on their comprehension and intrest.

E46d4f7e35e46ee4e8211ab4bc852023

(1510)

on October 15, 2010
at 03:44 PM

eww! even if I ate bread, I wouldn't want a piece that a near stranger manhandled for me, especially if it was question the last time that person washed their hands.

462a1b3d2bf9c8ad7340058eaf9ee881

(80)

on October 15, 2010
at 02:03 PM

Reminds me of a recent first and LAST date in which my date tore a hunk of bread from the basket, buttered it, and put it on my plate...I was like "What the???" Then he smiled and looked at me with pleading eyes like he deserved a gold star or something...sheesh.

A6cffe7397214f338ae098613eea6737

(50)

on March 12, 2011
at 08:23 PM

I bet he thought he made something significant. Yet reality did not meet his expectations.

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