8

votes

does paleo get in the way of dating?

Commented on June 01, 2015
Created March 18, 2012 at 2:05 AM

hi everyone!

i am a single paleo lady and wanting to start dating (its been a while since ive been on that scene) but im nervous about how and when to bring up my food choices. i am very strict paleo - mostly because of real food allergies, but also because i believe in it for optimal health.

any advice for dating - how do you handle restaurants? how and when do you start talking about your nutrition choices? dont want to look like the weird, no fun date - but have no interest in eating gluten just to impress a date??

thanks for your advice . . . or if you know nice single caveman in wisconsin, that works too :)

C45d7e96acd83d3a6f58193dbc140e86

on July 18, 2012
at 07:05 PM

I thought obvious self-promotion was not allowed.

F4d04667059bc682540fdfd8b40f13a7

on June 05, 2012
at 06:22 AM

I completely get your frustrations (as a single Paleo girl myself over dating guys who don't get it) - so I created www.paleoconnect.com - not sure if there's anyone from Wisconsin registered yet, but worth a look!

F4d04667059bc682540fdfd8b40f13a7

on June 05, 2012
at 06:20 AM

There is one! I created www.paleoconnect.com for that very reason myself (though it's also to make new friends as well as dating)!

1edb06ded9ccf098a4517ca4a7a34ebc

(14952)

on June 05, 2012
at 03:03 AM

Ever been to the Lake Park Bistro in Milwaukee? That is my fav.

1edb06ded9ccf098a4517ca4a7a34ebc

(14952)

on June 05, 2012
at 02:55 AM

Ever been to the Lake Park Bistro in Milwaukee? That is my favorite bistro.

1edb06ded9ccf098a4517ca4a7a34ebc

(14952)

on June 05, 2012
at 02:51 AM

Ever go to the Lake Park Bistro in Milwaukee? That is the best bistro I've ever been to in my life.

1edb06ded9ccf098a4517ca4a7a34ebc

(14952)

on June 05, 2012
at 02:48 AM

I've only been to one bistro there, and i think it was called Jardiniere, or something along those lines. It was definitely good, but not my favorite. I'd go hit up the Pier for a seafood lunch, and ask some locals for dinner recommendations.

0c1b326ffcf37b1174d64bb1db5ac95c

(419)

on June 05, 2012
at 02:41 AM

thanks foreveryoung! any good bistro's in San Fran?

1edb06ded9ccf098a4517ca4a7a34ebc

(14952)

on June 05, 2012
at 02:37 AM

Word, man. Best first date I ever had was sailing on Lake Michigan.

D4d83e7981ca572aaaa19fc620bb54f1

(467)

on March 18, 2012
at 10:09 PM

Wow, great answer!

F5f742cc9228eb5804114d0f3be4e587

(7660)

on March 18, 2012
at 10:03 PM

Nice way to slip that in there... :)

1d0497f8781845ab371b479455bfee8e

(11157)

on March 18, 2012
at 03:17 AM

Is it a good idea to start off a potential relationship with a lie?

408b32d0900853851167089d730f1881

on March 18, 2012
at 02:57 AM

Totally agree here with the 'no big deal' advice. Shouldn't even be a topic of early conversation unless he's interested in learning more about why you're making the choices you're making.

  • 0c1b326ffcf37b1174d64bb1db5ac95c

    asked by

    (419)
  • Views
    3.8K
  • Last Activity
    1143D AGO
Frontpage book

Get FREE instant access to our Paleo For Beginners Guide & 15 FREE Recipes!

24 Answers

20
98bf2ca7f8778c79cd3f6c962011cfdc

on March 18, 2012
at 02:44 AM

My best advise is:

  • Eat before you go so you aren't ravenously hungry.
  • Check the menu beforehand and already have something picked out. Call the restaurant beforehand with any question you may have about the food you're interested in.
  • Remember it's not about the food while at this stage. Go to focus on him and try to have fun even if the food isn't exactly what you may have liked.

I would not even mention your way of eating on a first date. Nothing. No paleo. No ancestral. No gluten anything. Just don't go there. If he asks why you're not eating the bread just say you don't want any right now. Make do and focus on getting to know the person. There will be time enough to disclose your ways later. People fear what they cannot or do not understand. There is no way to disclose this way of eating to someone who has no understanding of it without sounding like a food lunatic which translated to plain old lunatic which translates to no second date.

And good luck! Just have fun and enjoy the process.

18
A0f2f0f632d42215944a798486bddde1

(1377)

on March 18, 2012
at 04:52 PM

OR: You could do what I do; not do dinner dates. This is something I did long before I ate Paleo so diet isn't a factor. Even though they're ingrained in most people's minds as a necessary step in dating, I think they're a terrible idea. They cost money, you're separated by a table, they give off the whole "job interview" vibe. Go to the zoo, go to a lake, go for a hike, go to a museum, go to a concert. "Action dates" have been shown to increase attraction on both sides. Dinners/movies are for when you already know someone.

D4d83e7981ca572aaaa19fc620bb54f1

(467)

on March 18, 2012
at 10:09 PM

Wow, great answer!

1edb06ded9ccf098a4517ca4a7a34ebc

(14952)

on June 05, 2012
at 02:37 AM

Word, man. Best first date I ever had was sailing on Lake Michigan.

9
9bd33dab06ad6696b1b6a06aed818f05

on March 18, 2012
at 03:35 AM

Join a crossfit box, plenty of down to earth, single blokes who take pride in their appearance and appreciate eating a good solid paleo diet! How can you go wrong!

6
518bce04b12cd77741237e1f61075194

(11577)

on March 18, 2012
at 02:39 AM

Just say your allergic if it comes up. If they seem interested, it's a neat conversation to have, but it's not a opportunity for conversion, as you might come off as pushy. Saying you have an allergy, or an intolerance (better word if you're dating a scientist, might be suspicious of so many "allergies", haha) should clear it up no problem. People are pretty used to fussy eaters, or people that eat this and not that.

I used to date fine as a vegan/vegetarian, but dated much better as a paleo because as it turns out, guys are pretty fascinated with ladies that can tuck into a pile of meat ;) It seems almost fetishized (not to make you feel creeped out next time you eat a bunch of meat) because it's a rare sight. Never a problem!

1d0497f8781845ab371b479455bfee8e

(11157)

on March 18, 2012
at 03:17 AM

Is it a good idea to start off a potential relationship with a lie?

3
0266737ea1782946902fd3f8e60fa0b9

(2504)

on March 18, 2012
at 02:36 AM

I was a fussy eater, long before I joined the paleo lifestyle, and it never was much of a big deal. I don't think you need to explain anything, until you feel like it.

I just would order what you like (grilled meats, side veg, no starch sides), and not worry too much about it. If you have to make special orders (no butter/veg oil, confirming no soy sauce), I'd just say "veg oil doesn't agree with me" and move on. Your best bet at making this a "no big deal" is if you make it one too.

Good luck!

408b32d0900853851167089d730f1881

on March 18, 2012
at 02:57 AM

Totally agree here with the 'no big deal' advice. Shouldn't even be a topic of early conversation unless he's interested in learning more about why you're making the choices you're making.

3
531db50c958cf4d5605ee0c5ae8a57be

on March 18, 2012
at 02:12 AM

My restaurant advice is simple--go Italian and have appetizers and the house red. Caprese, shrimp in garlic sauce, salmon carpaccio, mussels in tomato/garlic sauce, etc.

And if you ever make it to Columbus, give me a call!

F5f742cc9228eb5804114d0f3be4e587

(7660)

on March 18, 2012
at 10:03 PM

Nice way to slip that in there... :)

2
80890193d74240cab6dda920665bfb6c

(1528)

on March 19, 2012
at 12:00 AM

Why on earth would it be a problem? Take the guy out, start with some roasted bone marrow, order a bleu steak and ask for extra salad on the side. Come dessert, ask for raspberries with pure whipped cream (if you do dairy). What guy wouldn't eat that? You don't even have to use the word paleo or diet.

I mean, if he's vegan, best to find out right away so you can shake his hand goodbye before the second course. :)

2
Medium avatar

(2301)

on March 18, 2012
at 07:21 PM

If someone is freaked out by your diet choices, even if you explain them rationally and logically, then you probably don't need them anyways.

2
77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 18, 2012
at 02:05 PM

I think that all you have to do is tell the guy you love to eat steak and bacon that you cook it... a lot. If he doesn't dig that then he should probably turn in his man card anyway. ;-)

2
31381cfeb5d6da6fc75f80ab68e041ea

(560)

on March 18, 2012
at 11:57 AM

hey guys! my (now) boyfriend and i couldn't have been more different food-wise when we first met. he LIVES off of pasta. once he knew i ate the way i do for my health (a few months down the road), he wanted to do everything he could to make sure i was taken care of. i think that's a pretty good way to test if the person you are dating is a good catch - are they sensitive to your needs, even "weird" ones? it's not high maintainance if it protects your health.

also? good luck! a vibrant personality covers many "strange" habits they may think you have. be yourself and the rest will follow!

2
518be53d5bdcf1d04fcb1a171bd3f0b1

on March 18, 2012
at 06:18 AM

Join a paleo dating website. If there isn't one, start one! Paleo is a lifestyle choice not a favouite colour so probably important to share from the very start or before. Good luck. I met my husband/soul mate on a dating site and my only advice would be the more honest you are about whaT you want and who you are the closer you'll get to meeting your perfect match.

F4d04667059bc682540fdfd8b40f13a7

on June 05, 2012
at 06:20 AM

There is one! I created www.paleoconnect.com for that very reason myself (though it's also to make new friends as well as dating)!

2
E803750872b194586aa8f78b62f57635

(30)

on March 18, 2012
at 03:40 AM

Dunno how you're looking for male creatures, but I've put "paleo" right on my dating site profile. Having tried to date "normal" guys, I find that I'm much more likely to slip up in my eating if I'm constantly hanging around someone who eats SAD. I also think that mentioning it early lets someone know you're health-conscious, and that's a pretty big compatibility issue, at least for me.

Good luck!

2
Ef2f6c723983d7fe7a06bd57af6adeed

(1725)

on March 18, 2012
at 02:13 AM

If a man were to take you out to a restaurant, most restaurants you can find something that you can probably eat (even though it may not be the healthiest)- the problem I run into is it will either be in small quantities or uber expensive. :P

Be honest and open with the guy. If he's interested in you, he should respect your food allergies and choices.

I hope that helps some. :)

1
1edb06ded9ccf098a4517ca4a7a34ebc

on June 05, 2012
at 02:31 AM

Wine, seafood appetizer, and salad is doable at most halfway decent places. If it's a Bistro, virtually every main dish is paleo- just don't eat the baguette.

1edb06ded9ccf098a4517ca4a7a34ebc

(14952)

on June 05, 2012
at 02:55 AM

Ever been to the Lake Park Bistro in Milwaukee? That is my favorite bistro.

0c1b326ffcf37b1174d64bb1db5ac95c

(419)

on June 05, 2012
at 02:41 AM

thanks foreveryoung! any good bistro's in San Fran?

1edb06ded9ccf098a4517ca4a7a34ebc

(14952)

on June 05, 2012
at 02:51 AM

Ever go to the Lake Park Bistro in Milwaukee? That is the best bistro I've ever been to in my life.

1edb06ded9ccf098a4517ca4a7a34ebc

(14952)

on June 05, 2012
at 03:03 AM

Ever been to the Lake Park Bistro in Milwaukee? That is my fav.

1edb06ded9ccf098a4517ca4a7a34ebc

(14952)

on June 05, 2012
at 02:48 AM

I've only been to one bistro there, and i think it was called Jardiniere, or something along those lines. It was definitely good, but not my favorite. I'd go hit up the Pier for a seafood lunch, and ask some locals for dinner recommendations.

1
A4587cfef29863db612c43f89c202cc1

on March 18, 2012
at 01:48 PM

Mr. Furley is a lifelong bachelor, of course. I have enjoyed dating. In my experience, dating tends to revolve mostly (not always) around three activities: 1) meet for coffee, 2) meet for drinks after work, or 3) dinner. Coffee: meeting for a first date is easy, can be brief if you want it to be. Have a cup of coffee or tea, sit and talk. See if you like Mr. Suitor enough to grant him a dinner date. Drinks after work: similar. Have a martini or a glass of wine, see if the guy is good enough to get a dinner date the next week. Dinner date: don't make a big deal out of your dietary choices. Just order real food. It's okay to ask for a substitution. He probably won't even notice that you're eating a piece of fish and vegetables. If he's the right guy for you, he will probably be eating something similar.

You can also try to plan some second dates, after your first date for coffee or cocktails, based on a common activity: running, hike, bike ride, etc. This way, your third date can be your first date that involves food. By now, he digs you and he probably won't think it's strange that you're not eating bread.

1
Bdc6244bdbd664d2168a8e326018ffbe

(431)

on March 18, 2012
at 10:04 AM

I've been in the dating-world for only a tiny bit of my Paleo-time, but I couldn't imagine it being an issue. Its all about balance- yeah, he might think you're a little high-maintenance, but what sort of close-minded lame-o would let that one thing dissuade him so quickly if you guys get along well? None I've ever met. I've told men that I've just met that I'm a very picky eater, and have always been asked out in spite of it. Its just who you are. Also, its kind of an amusing conversation, I think, and it means you're interested in health. How is that not cool?

Or...its way more normal-sounding to say you don't eat grains or dairy.

1
B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on March 18, 2012
at 08:47 AM

Not at all :

  • Quite some people are interested in getting rid of their health problems, and as long as you're dating someone who isn't the "do you want some pizza, do you want this do you want that"-type paleo should not be in the way.
  • I already mentioned in an other thread that I lost my shyness since getting rid of gluten and/or casein (I know it's one of these because it only worked when I went raw vegan and when I went paleo). I have never spoken to as many strangers as I did last week, and there were no awkward conversations at all. This makes dating way easier for me.
  • Eating a lot of meat and fat is cool when you're a student :). I have no trouble explaining my diet, I just say I eat a lot of fat and they smile and don't ask more about it.

Only alcohol is in my way. If only I could drink it without ill effects :) ...

1
510bdda8988ed0d4b0ec0b738b4edb73

(20888)

on March 18, 2012
at 02:18 AM

I'm long done with the dating scene, and I wasn't very good at it either; however, I haven't been to a restaurant where, with a few minor substitutions, you couldn't get a Paleo meal.

Granted, I live in a pretty good area for restaurants, but I still think you can do it anywhere. Also, while a bit "boring" chain restaurants are pretty good with the whole gluten free thing. They are aware of it and really don't want to make anyone sick. So they take requests like that pretty seriously. Small mom and pop places sometimes don't understand it.

1
Cccb899526fb5908f64176e0a74ed2d9

(2801)

on March 18, 2012
at 02:13 AM

There's almost always a paleo-esque option available. There's no reason you even need to bring it up until later on, though it might make for an interesting conversation if you're not judgmental about your partner's choices.

You could also offer to cook some delicious paleo food!

0
8038d61ab8306afaf860114ee89fa27b

(40)

on March 18, 2012
at 11:32 PM

First date, coffee or wine. Dinner? Thai or a burger in a lettuce wrap. In truth, we men expect women to be picky and substitute-happy at restaurants. Most first date dinner dates I've had, the girl has ordered a grilled chicken salad.

The only place you'll hit a snag is if he wants to cook for you. So cook for him first, have some bread available on the side, and broach the subject then.

0
77877f762c40637911396daa19b53094

(78467)

on March 18, 2012
at 08:43 AM

Just order from the menu and ask the waiter to hold off on the items you want to avoid. When your date asks you "Don't you eat __?" Just give a brief answer, maybe about the allergies or "I do better without them", "don't like it" or whatever your reason but avoid saying things like, "I'm on the paleo diet" unless you feel very comfortable with this person. I have a few allergies so I always use allergies or food intolerance as my reason becauce I really can't be bothered with getting into all the great things about paleo when most people think it's a bit wierd an will want to argue about it.

0
64433a05384cd9717c1aa6bf7e98b661

(15236)

on March 18, 2012
at 05:02 AM

Eating a 5x5 protein style from in n out goes a long way towards making a paleo eater seem pretty normal. Not sure if you know what in n out is, but it's a really yummy fast food place. I order 5 hamburger patties wrapped in lettuce and it's awesome, while also making you look like you don't eat that healthy. I don't really see a problem with it on occasion though, meat + lettuce+ tomato, no sauce.

0
Af939911afa817f79a4625d4f503c735

on March 18, 2012
at 02:29 AM

Look for people to date in your local Paleo-friendly groups (Paleo groups on meetup.com, CrossFit gyms, etc.).

If going out with someone who isn't Paleo, suggest a restaurant or offer to cook.

If it doesn't come up naturally (I can't imagine not talking about Paleo within the first few conversations), he'll eventually notice your food choices and ask about them.

-3
71ffb1c8e05e1e2018057e1f29425c1a

on July 18, 2012
at 06:54 PM

I found the dating scene a little more complicated as Paleo. So, I launched http://paleosingles.com for the benefit of finding others with alternative diet lifestyles.

The site is 100% FREE with full access to members. It's not just for Paleo eaters. Vegans, Vegetarians, and many other diet lifestyles are welcome and may search members by diet lifestyle.

F54a16e4caf4dc8da9ef1369f46a95cd

(591)

on June 01, 2015
at 01:34 PM

 This website doesn't even work.

C45d7e96acd83d3a6f58193dbc140e86

on July 18, 2012
at 07:05 PM

I thought obvious self-promotion was not allowed.

Answer Question


Get FREE instant access to our
Paleo For Beginners Guide & 15 FREE Recipes!