31

votes

Hack my balls, please

Answered on September 12, 2014
Created November 11, 2011 at 3:40 AM

Quick question about my balls.

I've got three at the moment. One inflatable ball that I keep at the office and haven't used in forever, one that I have at home and use very sporadically to toss around, and one from a set of those little Chinese exercise balls used for relaxation. Balls are truly amazing things, and I feel like I am under-utilizing mine. How do you use balls? Do you exercise with medicine balls? De-stress by tossing one against the wall, like House MD? Anything I'm missing from the wide world of balls?

And on a very distantly related note, do you ever form random foods into balls? Like rice balls, ground liver balls, coconut balls, dark chocolate balls, etc etc?

:)

---EDIT---
There was a vote to close this question. Please folks, keep your answers on topic. If you answer without mentioning either balls or nutsacks, I might have to delete your answer. We have to keep the ball+nutsack to noise ratio high.

A4587cfef29863db612c43f89c202cc1

(2053)

on February 05, 2012
at 02:11 PM

I saw them play a big arena show back in the day. Rock and Roll. Good times.

C8b2136ef95ba6aac211825ff38cc0e9

(971)

on February 05, 2012
at 01:45 AM

One of the best songs ever made...ever.

C8b2136ef95ba6aac211825ff38cc0e9

(971)

on February 05, 2012
at 12:12 AM

Indeed it is Saturday evening. +1 for not boring. And to satisfy the editor... BALLS!

Ce7e28769d92d5de5533e775b1de966e

on November 11, 2011
at 09:41 PM

True true. Reminiscent of a favourite non-Paleo treat, Reeses Cups in holiday ball form. Props to the Law. ::gang sign flippy fingers::

Ce7e28769d92d5de5533e775b1de966e

on November 11, 2011
at 09:38 PM

True true. Reminiscent of a favourite non-Paleo treat, Reeses Cups. Props to the Law. ::gang sign flippy fingers::

Medium avatar

(5136)

on November 11, 2011
at 09:30 PM

But salty balls go so well with sweet meat.

Ce7e28769d92d5de5533e775b1de966e

on November 11, 2011
at 09:23 PM

No, but carnivorous sources of sugar are.

6b365c14c646462210f3ef6b6fecace1

(1784)

on November 11, 2011
at 08:33 PM

I need a refreshment.

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on November 11, 2011
at 08:06 PM

plus one....deflated balls do nothing but flop. No good for anyone.

100fd85230060e754fc13394eee6d6f1

(18696)

on November 11, 2011
at 07:33 PM

Ha. This was my favourite song when I was 13.

Medium avatar

(19479)

on November 11, 2011
at 07:09 PM

I thought this was a completely serious answer until I read the last sentence. Now I'm not so sure...

Eecc48184707bc26bce631485b5b7e34

(4764)

on November 11, 2011
at 05:56 PM

+ 1 to the t-shirt

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:18 PM

...bollocks, knackers Bollocks, knackers Bollocks (it's like a mantra) knackers Bollocks, knackers Bollocks...

A89f9751a97c3082802dc0bcbe4e9208

(13978)

on November 11, 2011
at 03:53 PM

In awe of the crossfit reference brilliance...

3aea514b680d01bfd7573d74517946a7

(11996)

on November 11, 2011
at 03:52 PM

The best food balls are without a doubt Schweddy Balls: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2frzNeDRG28&feature=related

D1c02d4fc5125a670cf419dbb3e18ba7

on November 11, 2011
at 03:51 PM

I'm old school too Rose

3aea514b680d01bfd7573d74517946a7

(11996)

on November 11, 2011
at 03:50 PM

Shelley and Keats are overrated. Bon Scott lives!

Aead76beb5fc7b762a6b4ddc234f6051

(15239)

on November 11, 2011
at 03:08 PM

OMG!! rose!!! this is my favorite PH answer EVAH!! <3

D1c02d4fc5125a670cf419dbb3e18ba7

on November 11, 2011
at 01:19 PM

Rose - so hot right now. I feel like I am no longer needed here with this kinda rapist wit. Into the sunset....

Cf4e7d927a48582cc22adbe59bfd0b2d

(753)

on November 11, 2011
at 07:14 AM

You're all pretty ballsy.

531db50c958cf4d5605ee0c5ae8a57be

(8878)

on November 11, 2011
at 06:32 AM

I like it when the balls are put in play delicately, with just the fingertips.

531db50c958cf4d5605ee0c5ae8a57be

(8878)

on November 11, 2011
at 06:31 AM

All the time I'm throwing my balls at the wall, seeing what will stick.

531db50c958cf4d5605ee0c5ae8a57be

(8878)

on November 11, 2011
at 06:31 AM

This is a great point of inquiry. Bravo.

149af6e19a06675614dfbb6838a7d7c0

(3202)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:39 AM

You or the other guy?

21fd060d0796fdb8a4a990441e08eae7

(24543)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:38 AM

I'm not sure if it's a good idea to post a picture. My balls are trademarked.

21fd060d0796fdb8a4a990441e08eae7

(24543)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:35 AM

I keep reading this answer over and over again. It's amazing. Can you submit it to the New Yorker or something?

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:34 AM

Lady knows her balls, that's for sure.

3aea514b680d01bfd7573d74517946a7

(11996)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:34 AM

These sound like unusual balls; I wonder if you would be willing to post pics.

21fd060d0796fdb8a4a990441e08eae7

(24543)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:33 AM

Touche, Rose. Touche.

98bf2ca7f8778c79cd3f6c962011cfdc

(24286)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:33 AM

And it's Rose for the win.

98bf2ca7f8778c79cd3f6c962011cfdc

(24286)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:24 AM

I like my little Southern accent. Better than a poke in the eye or a ball in the mouth (IMHO)

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:20 AM

Unless you have an accent to overcome, I say kepp the balls out your mouth. In fact, that may be a great t-shirt idea....

98bf2ca7f8778c79cd3f6c962011cfdc

(24286)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:19 AM

A mouth full of balls generally makes me gag so I don't think this tip would work for me.

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:13 AM

What?.......... :)

21fd060d0796fdb8a4a990441e08eae7

(24543)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:10 AM

I caught you, you sneaky editress!

21fd060d0796fdb8a4a990441e08eae7

(24543)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:09 AM

You know what looks awesome in old cartoons? When the main character is really hungry and someone takes him in and he starts eating a big turkey leg and tearing off pieces of crusty bread. What does this have to do with anything? I don't know. It's not even paleo.

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:06 AM

Just use your balls! This is all I want for you.

9759643ce5d97ab8fa649ae954656c4c

(3325)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:05 AM

Doesn't it always?

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:04 AM

Buckskin and or lambswool. Not really, but you gave me a great craft idea for some extra materials I've had laying around.

21fd060d0796fdb8a4a990441e08eae7

(24543)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:04 AM

Oh my goodness, that was unexpected. A real answer...I'm not sure what to do except follow your advice word for word.

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:03 AM

So a mouth full of balls fixed her right up? Interesting.

9759643ce5d97ab8fa649ae954656c4c

(3325)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:02 AM

I don't recommend burlap if your snack is salty chocolate balls. It tends to impart hairy bits upon sticky balls. I recommend a small velvet satchel filled with seeds for snacking. That way you can feel magical and unsticky while traveling.

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:01 AM

I agree! Ever toss them at people just to get their attention?

21fd060d0796fdb8a4a990441e08eae7

(24543)

on November 11, 2011
at 03:50 AM

Semi-related question about my nutsack. Sometimes I want to carry a small amount of paleo snacks somewhere that I made myself. But I don't like using plastic baggies, for no good reason. Does anyone use a snack-pouch made out of a cool natural material, like burlap?

  • 21fd060d0796fdb8a4a990441e08eae7

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20 Answers

44
3aea514b680d01bfd7573d74517946a7

(11996)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:30 AM

I've always been told that the balls should not be neglected, although it's easy to forget to play with them when distracted by other activities. But I know that playing with balls develops joint strength, while also increasing power, and especially speed. But that increase in speed sometimes comes at a cost to the snatch, which should not be rushed but done in a smooth, continuous motion.

Since I don't have balls of my own, but use my husband's instead, I confess I don't know the effect of ball play on the clean & jerk, but perhaps some of the power lifters here with balls of their own can chime in on that.

21fd060d0796fdb8a4a990441e08eae7

(24543)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:33 AM

Touche, Rose. Touche.

D1c02d4fc5125a670cf419dbb3e18ba7

on November 11, 2011
at 01:19 PM

Rose - so hot right now. I feel like I am no longer needed here with this kinda rapist wit. Into the sunset....

Aead76beb5fc7b762a6b4ddc234f6051

(15239)

on November 11, 2011
at 03:08 PM

OMG!! rose!!! this is my favorite PH answer EVAH!! <3

A89f9751a97c3082802dc0bcbe4e9208

(13978)

on November 11, 2011
at 03:53 PM

In awe of the crossfit reference brilliance...

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:34 AM

Lady knows her balls, that's for sure.

21fd060d0796fdb8a4a990441e08eae7

(24543)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:35 AM

I keep reading this answer over and over again. It's amazing. Can you submit it to the New Yorker or something?

98bf2ca7f8778c79cd3f6c962011cfdc

(24286)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:33 AM

And it's Rose for the win.

6b365c14c646462210f3ef6b6fecace1

(1784)

on November 11, 2011
at 08:33 PM

I need a refreshment.

531db50c958cf4d5605ee0c5ae8a57be

(8878)

on November 11, 2011
at 06:32 AM

I like it when the balls are put in play delicately, with just the fingertips.

15
66e6b190e62fb3bcf42d4c60801c7bf6

on November 11, 2011
at 03:59 AM

I generally just play with my balls. I mean what good are balls if u can't play with them

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:01 AM

I agree! Ever toss them at people just to get their attention?

531db50c958cf4d5605ee0c5ae8a57be

(8878)

on November 11, 2011
at 06:31 AM

All the time I'm throwing my balls at the wall, seeing what will stick.

13
D1c02d4fc5125a670cf419dbb3e18ba7

on November 11, 2011
at 03:45 PM

Well I'm ever upper-class high society God's gift to ballroom notoriety And I always fill my ballroom The event is never small The social pages say I've got The biggest balls of all

I've got big balls I've got big balls They're such big balls And they're dirty big balls And he's got big balls And she's got big balls But we've got the biggest balls of them all

And my balls are always bouncing And my ballroom always full And everybody cums and cums again If your name is on the guest list No one can take you higher Everybody says I've got Great balls of fire

I've got big balls Oh, I've got big balls And they're such big balls Dirty big balls And he's got big balls And she's got big balls But we've got the biggest balls of them all

Some balls are held for charity And some for fancy dress But when they're held for pleasure They're the balls that I like best My balls are always bouncing To the left and to the right It's my belief that my big balls Should be held every night

Oh, we've got big balls We've got big balls We've got big balls Dirty big balls He's got big balls She's got big balls But we've got the biggest balls of them all

Oh, we've got big balls We've got big balls We've got big balls/And I'm just itching to tell you about them Dirty big balls/Oh we had such wonderful fun He's got big balls/Seafood cocktail She's got big balls/Crabs But we've got the biggest balls of them all/Crayfish

Oh, bollocks, knackers Bollocks, knackers Bollocks, knackers Bollocks, knackers Bollocks, knackers Bollocks, knackers Bollocks, knackers Bollocks, knackers Bollocks, knackers Bollocks, knackers Bollocks, knackers

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:18 PM

...bollocks, knackers Bollocks, knackers Bollocks (it's like a mantra) knackers Bollocks, knackers Bollocks...

100fd85230060e754fc13394eee6d6f1

(18696)

on November 11, 2011
at 07:33 PM

Ha. This was my favourite song when I was 13.

D1c02d4fc5125a670cf419dbb3e18ba7

on November 11, 2011
at 03:51 PM

I'm old school too Rose

3aea514b680d01bfd7573d74517946a7

(11996)

on November 11, 2011
at 03:50 PM

Shelley and Keats are overrated. Bon Scott lives!

C8b2136ef95ba6aac211825ff38cc0e9

(971)

on February 05, 2012
at 01:45 AM

One of the best songs ever made...ever.

A4587cfef29863db612c43f89c202cc1

(2053)

on February 05, 2012
at 02:11 PM

I saw them play a big arena show back in the day. Rock and Roll. Good times.

11
531db50c958cf4d5605ee0c5ae8a57be

on November 11, 2011
at 06:36 AM

PUFAs have been know to thwart the ancestral condition of strong ball skills. Problems with transcription factors involved in ATP synthetase pathways and mitochondrial telomere density fructose sometimes inhibit reward motivating tendencies. In short, this report has been about Brazil.

10
0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:00 AM

Balls. Balls. Balls.

All the live long day it's balls in my life.

Yoga/Swiss balls. I've got two. Bought them whilst prego and needing a place to sit that didn't make my butt hurt like hell. It worked. Also they were great for bouncing on while in labor. Now, I just throw them at my 22 month old. He loves it.

I have a medicine ball but it's too heavy for me to throw. But it's so nice and solid that I've started using it for thoracic mobilization stuff. Also rolling on it along my IT band makes me want to scream, but works the kinks out like a charm.

I use tennis balls for muscle release. Use one of those on your piriformis or your quadratus lumborum and you'll be screaming for your mommy!:)

Finally the good ol' golf ball. So small, but so hard. Great for foot massage. Step on one and roll it around your foot for a while. You can write me a check for that advice once you awaken from your blissful stupor!

Balls. I love 'em. I use 'em. You could say I am a ball a??fi??ci??o??na??do!

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:13 AM

What?.......... :)

21fd060d0796fdb8a4a990441e08eae7

(24543)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:04 AM

Oh my goodness, that was unexpected. A real answer...I'm not sure what to do except follow your advice word for word.

21fd060d0796fdb8a4a990441e08eae7

(24543)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:10 AM

I caught you, you sneaky editress!

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:06 AM

Just use your balls! This is all I want for you.

10
9759643ce5d97ab8fa649ae954656c4c

on November 11, 2011
at 03:53 AM

I've been thinking about getting rid of my front door so that I can roll a giant stone ball in front of the opening like our paleo ancestors probably did (according to cartoons.)

Ball tip: I recently learned of a woman who was able to unlearn her southern accent by keeping her mouth filled with marbles when she spoke.

98bf2ca7f8778c79cd3f6c962011cfdc

(24286)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:19 AM

A mouth full of balls generally makes me gag so I don't think this tip would work for me.

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:20 AM

Unless you have an accent to overcome, I say kepp the balls out your mouth. In fact, that may be a great t-shirt idea....

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:03 AM

So a mouth full of balls fixed her right up? Interesting.

98bf2ca7f8778c79cd3f6c962011cfdc

(24286)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:24 AM

I like my little Southern accent. Better than a poke in the eye or a ball in the mouth (IMHO)

9759643ce5d97ab8fa649ae954656c4c

(3325)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:05 AM

Doesn't it always?

Eecc48184707bc26bce631485b5b7e34

(4764)

on November 11, 2011
at 05:56 PM

+ 1 to the t-shirt

9
6714718e2245e5190017d643a7614157

on November 11, 2011
at 05:53 PM

As a male, I never like to see the word "hack" and "balls" used in the same sentence. The image is painful.

9
Ce7e28769d92d5de5533e775b1de966e

on November 11, 2011
at 03:39 PM

How fortuitous that this question is posted as I just happened to be playing with balls since early this morning! A wide variety of shapes and sizes for my choosing, it was just a matter of selection.

I definitely warmed up with small so there wouldn't be any range of motion issues and then it was just making sure my hands weren't too cold to handle the next size, didn't want to have any problems establishing contact. I decided that about a 30% increase from last time sounded about right to effectively work my arms, core, legs, and back.

It's truly amazing what balls can do for someone, they really provide an outstanding dimension of functional training that will prepare the body for movements made in everyday life.

Basically I'm just an equal opportunity ball handler. Lacrosse, Slam, Medicine, Nut, Yaki Onigiri.

8
95eda9fa0cec952b482e869c34a566b6

on November 11, 2011
at 07:26 PM

There's a reason nature does not make soap bubbles shaped like a cube. A sphere is smooth, strong, and challenging. It can keep rolling, even when kicked. Just be careful not to deflate your balls and they'll serve you well for many years. Last but not least, let us not forget the Hairy Ball Theorem from Algebraic Topology!

0dbd7154d909b97fe774d1655754f195

(16131)

on November 11, 2011
at 08:06 PM

plus one....deflated balls do nothing but flop. No good for anyone.

8
Bf57bcbdc19d4f1728599053acd020ab

(5043)

on November 11, 2011
at 08:29 AM

Balls are great in a massage context. I use a lacrosse ball for my plantar fascia, for example. Perhaps a mouth-sized ball, like a golf ball, could be used as a snack-avoidance mechanism. Even though I live in Switzerland, I haven't got myself any Swiss balls yet. My husband's American set is still in great shape.

Medium avatar

(19479)

on November 11, 2011
at 07:09 PM

I thought this was a completely serious answer until I read the last sentence. Now I'm not so sure...

7
24fcc21452ebe39c032be6801d6bbadd

(9812)

on November 11, 2011
at 01:56 PM

I have a pair of the Chinese medicine balls, about medium-sized. Haven't utilized them in awhile! Lacrosse balls are great for massage; pretty intense though!

UPDATE! Today I did a workout involving med ball cleans; I'd never done them before, and it was nice to learn yet another way to handle balls.

7
149af6e19a06675614dfbb6838a7d7c0

on November 11, 2011
at 04:49 AM

Pemmican was traditionaly carried in a pouch from the scrotal sack. The testicles, like tentacles would rap around the great white whale's bulbous head and pull him ever deeper into the black abyss...down they plunged....1000s of feet, locked in a death grip that only one would survive, till the crushing pressure of the cold, salty ocean forced them apart...as they slowly rose to the surface...softly, sweetly...the giant octopus offered up a smoke to the great white whale. Ignoring her, he swam off as fast as he could, never to see her again. She sighed, 'what a dick..."

6
Medium avatar

(5136)

on November 11, 2011
at 09:14 PM

Is salt on balls Paleo?

Ce7e28769d92d5de5533e775b1de966e

on November 11, 2011
at 09:23 PM

No, but carnivorous sources of sugar are.

Ce7e28769d92d5de5533e775b1de966e

on November 11, 2011
at 09:41 PM

True true. Reminiscent of a favourite non-Paleo treat, Reeses Cups in holiday ball form. Props to the Law. ::gang sign flippy fingers::

Medium avatar

(5136)

on November 11, 2011
at 09:30 PM

But salty balls go so well with sweet meat.

Ce7e28769d92d5de5533e775b1de966e

on November 11, 2011
at 09:38 PM

True true. Reminiscent of a favourite non-Paleo treat, Reeses Cups. Props to the Law. ::gang sign flippy fingers::

6
De641ff2accb4975e1f42886b43009db

(2227)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:03 AM

Every once in while I will sit on one and GOD DOES THAT HURT.

149af6e19a06675614dfbb6838a7d7c0

(3202)

on November 11, 2011
at 04:39 AM

You or the other guy?

5
93ae9f2d376e5426e891a9b58d8302fa

(2936)

on November 11, 2011
at 06:14 AM

I just had to drop in and see what this thread was about. Finally, somebody has the balls to ask. Or gonads at least.

I've only got two. I use them to clear paths and crush assailants. But they're ticklish. Wanna tickle them? C'mon, I dare ya.

4
A968087cc1dd66d480749c02e4619ef4

(20436)

on November 11, 2011
at 05:21 PM

Oh thank god this isn't another one of those hack my vagina questions! I thought for a second that you were talking about male anatomy, but I see that you are not.

Are you?

And let us not forget softball where in order to score you must first make advances to first base, second base and third base. All whilst wielding your bat to make a hit upon the pitcher.

4
059413215df1ce12e5f27944cd47c36b

on November 11, 2011
at 03:18 PM

My ball's are dirty from using them to much.

4
Medium avatar

on November 11, 2011
at 04:51 AM

I have more balls that you. Just came back from Chinatown with two of those ceramic round orbs that one circulates in one's hands; to live, according to the accompanying flyer, For Ever.

3
246ebf68e35743f62e5e187891b9cba0

(21430)

on February 05, 2012
at 01:42 AM

I've been sitting on my balls for years. It was uncomfortable at first, but eventually assisted me in being more alert at work... as well the added benefit of feeling the need to take a break from sitting more often. Being very heavy at one time, made my ball-sitting shenanigans all the more awkward. My balance has improved from sitting on my balls, and while my coworkers first thought it odd, they have started sitting on their own balls.

I started a revolution with my balls... what have you done with yours?

3
96bf58d8c6bd492dc5b8ae46203fe247

(37227)

on November 11, 2011
at 03:48 AM

No to all your questions! :-))

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