3

votes

Hack my Life ...

Answered on August 19, 2014
Created July 23, 2012 at 9:08 PM

Probably be my last post on here. 9 years ago I looked like this. A year later my jaw dislocated, I had a horrible time and spent years in a stressed environment dreaming about going away and having fun. That actually happened six years later at the university, where I experimented with drugs, drank tons of coke, orange juice, ate lots of cheap meat cooked in olive oil, fried potatoes, ... Suddenly everything was cool. My results at school were amazing, I had a normal social life with lots of fun.

Then, when I lost my girlfriend I got really upset, started eating mostly pizzas and beer, and started to deteriorate. With bouts of ups and downs during those holidays, I ended up looking like this. 3 weeks later it got much worse, but I didn't have the guts to take pictures anymore. And then I started working on it, first with cardio, then with weight lifting, then with a conventional healthy diet, then with raw veganism. No need to tell that I looked like a trainwreck back then. People started calling me sir and I thought it was a good thing, though I later realized I just looked old and dead inside. Then I went paleo, and after a couple of months on it and after a month of Ray Peat (lots of sugar) I got better, but still inflamed and sickly.

But right now, nothing works anymore. I still have loads of problems I didn't use to have. The only way to deal with my autism completely is by using drugs (though I'm not really shy anymore, I'm still a non-social boring fuck).

I've kinda hit a plateau, and I don't know what to do. I think I've tried most ideas out there. Main problems are still high cortisol, making me puffy and inflamed, thyroid issues, giving me a scared look on my face, making my hair thinner, dilating my pupils. And my jaw is still dislocated, which is pretty weird because not a lot of people can imagine what it feels like to have a chin going forward making you look like a freaking monkey :).

What would you do? Wait till the PUFAs are out? Or is there actually something better I can do?

6b365c14c646462210f3ef6b6fecace1

(1784)

on July 25, 2012
at 06:30 PM

there is always work, but remember to have some fun. and...don't take this the wrong way, but maybe some time off of paleohacks or related sites could be a good for you. There are always things we can improve about ourselves, but don't forget to improve your relations with people in the world too :-) It's good to have a tangible support system during rough times. good luck!

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 25, 2012
at 05:31 PM

haha Sunshine, that's probably the best advice I got in a long while. I thought about deficiencies, and recently did a blood test for a couple of them (copper, ferritin, vitamin D, CO2, electrolytes, folic acid, B12). Didn't have any problems except very high cortisol, but maybe B6 might be a problem since I'm drinking UHT milk. I tried eating potatoes last time and it somewhat helped, but I'll have to try again to be sure, and I'm afraid it wasn't doing my digestion much good. I'm already happy that my hair now stays in the air like it used to, but there is still much work to be done :)

6b365c14c646462210f3ef6b6fecace1

(1784)

on July 25, 2012
at 04:31 PM

to find out. (damn the need for at least 15 characters).

6b365c14c646462210f3ef6b6fecace1

(1784)

on July 25, 2012
at 04:30 PM

a huge indication of this is that eating liver (essentially a huge bolus of vit/min being delivered into your system) seems to temporarily better your symptoms, but they eventually return. So if you imagine a human body as two states - healthy and unhealthy- which are equilibrating, then we can say that your body favors the unhealthy state for whatever reason. we don't know how much your system is favoring the unhealthy state right now, and i think it maybe time to go to the dreaded docs for a full testing

6b365c14c646462210f3ef6b6fecace1

(1784)

on July 25, 2012
at 04:23 PM

When was the last time you got checked for mineral/ vitamin deficiencies? I think a lot of people tend to believe that our super nutrient rich diet replenishes our vitamin/mineral stores, but it's not always the case for some people out there - In addition, since you are practicing some of ray peat's protocol, then this is definitely a cause for concern. Not because i believe sugar is bad or anything (because i don't), but that it does raise your metabolism meaning the vitamins and minerals in your body will be depleted at a greater rate.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 25, 2012
at 03:53 PM

I can't look a person in the eye without stressing out, I talk to people while looking at the ground, even when they're very good friends or family. I managed to solve my shyness with paleo, but those behavioral problems just won't go away without powerful stuff. Some things like pregnenolone did a whole lot too, but I was tired of taking 100 pills so I cut it out and tried to increase pregnenolone through diet. We only have one life, I'm not gonna waste it with autism.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 25, 2012
at 03:49 PM

Wow Karen why would you say that... If Peat is right about my experiments I can't help it. Just because I don't want to cut out sugar again doesn't mean I listen to that dude 24/7, it means I believe it is important for me. I ignored Ray many times already, like when he told me to stop supplements except aspirin or when he told me to be patient with cytomel or cynoplus :). I understand drugs are looked down upon, but in the end all your supplements are drugs too, they're just less powerful and legal. I would like to see you deal with autism, it's not fun. Especially not when you're a student.

5ccb98f6ae42ce87e206cf3f6a86039f

(11581)

on July 25, 2012
at 02:16 PM

OK, I'm shutting up about this all. You're either ready to accept it or you're not.

5ccb98f6ae42ce87e206cf3f6a86039f

(11581)

on July 25, 2012
at 02:15 PM

So, Peat's the guru on everything but giving up acid? You admit that you're psychologically dependent on it. That translates to frequent use. Psychologically dependent is not a good thing. Quit the damn drugs. This may be the one place where I agree with Ray Peat.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 25, 2012
at 08:24 AM

If I get acne it's on the chest, the back and the face. If I'm really doing bad I get it on my legs too. Normally if I eat really well and keep eating my liver it starts disappearing.

6b365c14c646462210f3ef6b6fecace1

(1784)

on July 25, 2012
at 01:33 AM

hey - i'm curious about this - is the acne localized on your face, or is it pretty much ubiquitous?

F5a0ddffcf9ef5beca864050f090a790

(15515)

on July 24, 2012
at 05:54 PM

Check out that link that I posted and ... I hope you find some solution - I wish I could help more :)

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 24, 2012
at 05:40 PM

Oh I don't really care about how I look overall (I mean yes I care but it's not like I'm gonna be depressed that I'm not symmetric), it's just that it clearly moves. It pops and sometimes, when I'm doing really bad, it makes a big crack sound and when I look at myself then I look really stupid. I don't have photographs of that because I don't have the guts to make pictures of it. When I open my mouth I sometimes get afraid I won't be able to close it anymore, and on zero carb this got really bad that's why I think there's something weird happening and I wanna solve it :)

F5a0ddffcf9ef5beca864050f090a790

(15515)

on July 24, 2012
at 04:47 PM

Oh, I found this - hope it is helpful: http://www.westonaprice.org/ask-the-doctor/acne

C8b2136ef95ba6aac211825ff38cc0e9

(971)

on July 24, 2012
at 03:59 PM

That's really interesting, Korion. Your path could end up being more related to autism than something touchy. Or it could just be something that really works well with you personality. Hopefully you can embrace who you are and work with your strengths and weaknesses.

F5a0ddffcf9ef5beca864050f090a790

(15515)

on July 24, 2012
at 02:10 PM

Most mainstream doctors are beyond horrible, not because they want to be horrible, it is just the medical science is not so advanced. So if I were you, I would look around for a good naturopath. How does that person in real life deal with his/her problems? I know I repeat myself, but you really should try getting off drugs. It does not sound like you are ready to do it, but I really really hope you will consider it for your sake, sooner or later. Good luck and remember - it is going to be okay!

F5a0ddffcf9ef5beca864050f090a790

(15515)

on July 24, 2012
at 02:05 PM

As for your dislocated jaw - I have to be honest with you - I cannot notice it at all. I think you see it because you focus on it, but other people do not look at you the same way you see yourself. They just look at the whole person, not a part of your face. Plus, just so you know, each person has some flaw - either a nose or ears or teeth. Consider yourself lucky, your jaw looks absolutely fine to me. If it brings you discomfort you need to figure out how to solve this.

93eea7754e6e94b6085dbabbb48c0bb7

on July 24, 2012
at 01:17 PM

Haha glad to make you laugh Korion. But, seriously, that always happens to me!! I don't look at it an activity, but merely an addition to improving my well-being, just like everything we choose to do in life should be!

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 24, 2012
at 01:10 PM

Ok worth trying :) Very difficult for me to do such things, I have this automatism where, if someone gets near me, I always step backwards (it's funny in class pictures). Ray Peat told me autism is linked to high serotonin and high serotonin leads to harm avoidance. Both niacinamide and lsd change me completely, I don't think I'm imagining things because people tell me that if I take those I constantly look everyone straight in their eyes, look very confident and look at the sky instead of at my feet. In a way I am grateful for experiencing all this, because it's a somewhat of a privilege.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 24, 2012
at 01:07 PM

I have found someone in real life with the exact same problems, but not on the internet...

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 24, 2012
at 01:06 PM

Yes I have, most of them just treat the big symptoms that they have to deal with often and for which they have medication ready (eg. infections and allergies, they always gave antihistamines and antibiotics and if I tell them it doesn't work they almost ignore what I say or just give me another brand of the same medication). When I tell them I have lots of skin inflammation or my hair is flat and has no volume they think I just want attention. I don't blame them, they never experienced really bad health so I guess it's hard for them to understand it.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 24, 2012
at 12:29 PM

I then need a full day to recover and sometimes get a bit depressed. Ray Peat told me that it might be depleting brain glycogen (ending up in an autistic attitude again) and told me not to use the drug because he said I could heal myself without it. But it's the only thing right now that can solve all my digestion issues, fatigue issues, hair issues, skin issues, ... I'd love to do it without it, but nothing else raises my temperature that well and keeps me fit, so I'm psychologically dependent on it. Not a great feeling, but it's very hard to be the sick boy in a big group of fit students.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 24, 2012
at 12:26 PM

Went clean from last year (january) till june this year (= 1.5 years). Didn't eat any added sugars but only whole foods from march last year till march this year (= 1 year). Started doing lsd again after reading the anti-serotonin-properties of it, and after reading Ray Peat and his take on serotonin, how it is a stress to the body. I think lsd is very beneficial for mental health, at least my results at school seem to say so. I don't trip with it, because I'm very sensitive to it and if I do trip I end up 'empty' in the sense that it drains me of all my energy.

5ccb98f6ae42ce87e206cf3f6a86039f

(11581)

on July 24, 2012
at 12:04 PM

Have you ever gone totally clean, no added sugars, no drugs for several months? If not, you can't really tell us that the drugs are beneficial rather than a big part of the problem. Drug use, including LSD (mentioned below) is not real conducive to physical and mental health. After 55 years and in my early '20s a fair amount of hallucinogens, it actually is possible that I know better than you about the cost/benefit.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 24, 2012
at 09:36 AM

Karen you seem to constantly be under the assumption that you know things better than me. You tell me to stop sugar, I did that for 9 months already, together with nuts, fruits, nightshades, whatever you want (basically ate green leafy veggies, grass-fed meat, liver and coconut oil). Now you tell me to stop drugs, and I understand that, but that whole thing is based on the assumption that drugs have to be bad for you, without even considering what type I take. I think that's a closed-minded way of thinking that won't get us very far.

F5a0ddffcf9ef5beca864050f090a790

(15515)

on July 24, 2012
at 09:03 AM

Have you been to a regular doctor? You can ask for second opinion - you don't have to act on any advice that does not sound reasonable to you, but it won't hurt to know what other specialists might suggest. I would also search the Internet if anybody had a case like yours and found a solution.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 24, 2012
at 08:40 AM

If you look closely you'll understand what I mean with dislocated jaw. You can see my jaw goes a bit forward, and is a bit bigger. As long as that's the case, I'll want long hair to compensate for that. Ray Peat speculated that the jaw might be moving around due to mineral imbalance due to hypothyroidism, he said he saw it happen before and that he solved worse cases. Thanks VB :)

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 24, 2012
at 08:37 AM

I'll stop the drugs, it's not like I'm addicted anyways. But I wasn't really hoping for diet advice anyways. I think I've pretty much tried it all for at least 5 weeks and most of the time even longer (3 months calorie restriction conventional 'healthy diet, 5 months raw veganism, 2 months normal paleo, 7 months auto-immune paleo, 5 weeks zc, ...). I'm afraid that right now, the only thing missing is a joyful life. And it's so hard to take care of that.

5ccb98f6ae42ce87e206cf3f6a86039f

(11581)

on July 24, 2012
at 12:15 AM

Your'e still taking drugs at least semi-regularly and you think fixing your diet is of primary importance? Time for a reality check.

5ccb98f6ae42ce87e206cf3f6a86039f

(11581)

on July 24, 2012
at 12:11 AM

If you are periodically still taking drugs, you need to look at that issue before thinking it's your diet or need for sugar or whatever.

6120c989fd5b69f42a0834b69b87955b

(24553)

on July 23, 2012
at 11:05 PM

I wonder if a lesser strength psylocybin tea might be a better choice, or at least not run you out of brain chemistry as quickly.

6120c989fd5b69f42a0834b69b87955b

(24553)

on July 23, 2012
at 11:00 PM

It is like riding a bike, practice, practice, practice. It is okay to drift in and out, get distracted, etc., what you are working on is developing an ability to focus without judgement. The more times you bring yourself back to it, the closer you get to that giddy euphoria.

6120c989fd5b69f42a0834b69b87955b

(24553)

on July 23, 2012
at 10:56 PM

I'm not sure long term use of LSD would be wise, I had (notice the past tense here) a buddy who seemed to erase his conscience doing that. It might get you to a better place temporarily, but I think there is a price to be paid in even greater serotonin deficiency afterwards. My own emotions got flatter and more misanthropic the more times I used it. Meditation did wonders for me bringing back my compassion and increasing serotonin to healthy levels.

6120c989fd5b69f42a0834b69b87955b

(24553)

on July 23, 2012
at 10:46 PM

Have you had an actual thyroid panel done? If not, I wouldn't monkey around with thyroid meds on your own, it needs to be monitored by regular testing, because it is easy to go from hypo to hyper, which has its own set of problems. I don't really know anything about cynoplus, except that a quick search showed it is T3 only. Do you need a prescription, is it over the counter, or in the murky semi-legal area where you can order it online? I was under the impression that anything OTC had all the active compounds removed. I was on Armour, and did testing every 3-6 mo. to adjust the dosage.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 23, 2012
at 10:44 PM

But I don't know what it'll do long-term if I keep using it and it scares me a bit because it's really powerful.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 23, 2012
at 10:43 PM

Well I kinda know what causes my autism. I actually felt better at first when cutting out sugar, the 8 months after that it got worse and worse until I reintroduced sugar then it started getting better again. And for autism I think my problem is serotonin since lsd makes removes all my social issues in a sec. I then get extremely confident but not in a stupid way, just confident, calm, happy and playful.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 23, 2012
at 10:24 PM

Thank you Daniel! ZC messed me up really bad (constant digestion issues for 5 weeks) but it was better than VLC. I'm nocturnal too, in the evening I always get very happy and energetic which can be quite handy when going out. And my hair did kick ass hahaha until it started falling out, thinned out, and is now a horrible mess. It's getting better again though. *"and became a poor ass grocery stocker-BUT I'm RIPPED"* hahahaha that's awesome! Who cares about the money anyways :), it's about life :)

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 23, 2012
at 10:18 PM

While I completely agree with that citation, I did cut excess sugar and all other supposed toxins from my diet for 8 months, but I got worse and worse and worse after initially getting better. It was very very hard for me to reintroduce sugar but I'll never eliminate it again after I saw what good it did to me. I understand your take on that, especiall since this is a paleo forum, but I completely changed my stance on sugar and now embrace it. PUFA is something else though, never will touch that one again :)

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 23, 2012
at 10:15 PM

What meds would you recommend, Happy Now (currently am experimenting with cynoplus)? If my temperature is 37 degrees celsius I never have any problems at all. Niacinamide often raises my temperature to that level.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 23, 2012
at 10:12 PM

*"And after 1 minute if you think damn this sucks"* hahaha that always happens :D! I'll try to kill my ego, your comment made me laugh.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 23, 2012
at 10:11 PM

Yeah that's true :D, I probably should go out more. I've tried to do so lately but often it means I end up taking drugs. Some drugs don't make me worse at all, actually make me better but still, I'd rather do it without them.

5ccb98f6ae42ce87e206cf3f6a86039f

(11581)

on July 23, 2012
at 10:06 PM

It's not unusual to have some pretty bad mood swings when going off sugar. They normally get better after a couple of weeks. If not, something else is going on. Your hormone levels are probably all messed up with stress and all and the sugar could be giving you enough short term boost to feel better. The problem is that it's temporary and not sustainable to eat that much sugar. Your body will suffer. You may need to talk to someone about better ways to deal with moods. Sugar can be used to self medicate just like other white powders. They don't solve the base problems.

93eea7754e6e94b6085dbabbb48c0bb7

on July 23, 2012
at 10:04 PM

The effects you get with lSD u can get with meditation. No seriously it can be euphoric. But I'm warning you it's unbearable at first. Well the best type is to just sit on the floor in a room for 5 minutes! That's it!! And just breath in and out. And notice your breathing and focus on it. That's it. For 5 minutes. Complete presence. And after 1 minute if you think damn this sucks, well that's a thought, gotta dispel it. Or if you think wow I'm doing great, nope that's an ego thought too. Your ego screams not to do this practice but it's so fucking good for you.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 23, 2012
at 09:49 PM

Yeah I kinda made this post in retrospect on my life the past 2 years. I lost most of my best friends and my family due to my health problems. And then last time I didn't take vitamin D once and had aggression attacks again. I know a couple of drugs like lsd solve this and many other things for me but really i don't want to be a junkie forever. I think I wanna try accupuncture sometime though :D, seems a lot of fun haha! Thanks man! What kind of meditation? I gotta say I never was a big fan of changing the physical with the mental (I like the opposite though) but why not...

6120c989fd5b69f42a0834b69b87955b

(24553)

on July 23, 2012
at 09:46 PM

Are you on thyroid meds? They made a huge difference for me. It was transient hypothyroidism, so I was able to go off them after about 7 years, but I'm not sure where I'd be now if I had never gone on them.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 23, 2012
at 09:36 PM

But thank you, I will be looking for help :). Maybe that's gonna give me some social amusement too :)

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 23, 2012
at 09:36 PM

Well it's a weird thing with that jaw. I only noticed it when I saw photographs of myself of the last 10 years. It seems to be moving backwards and forwards as if the cartilage is messing around. I don't know if I'm imagining things, but last time I felt really bad and suddenly my jaw started making sounds and I looked in the mirror and it looked like my face got longer :P. It happened a couple of times before that, and it seems to solve itself. I contacted Ray Peat and he said the cartilage can mess around when you're hypothyroid due to changes in mineral balance...

93eea7754e6e94b6085dbabbb48c0bb7

on July 23, 2012
at 09:36 PM

+1 couldn't have said it better with looking to professionals for help!

41dfb1a4fecb38d24075ff52f13ccb28

on July 23, 2012
at 09:32 PM

I get it man. I totally do. I spent more time on my couch sulking than I'd like to admit. Sometimes you have to drag yourself kicking and screaming just to get started. But once you start... you know, momentum and all.. it just keeps rolling.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 23, 2012
at 09:29 PM

*"At this point, I don't think it's down to what you eat anymore."* Yes, I think that's a fair thing to say. It's just so hard having a blast when you're stressed ... :(

518bce04b12cd77741237e1f61075194

(11577)

on July 23, 2012
at 09:28 PM

"Drank lots of coke"- holy, I automatically thought, "that's not how you do coke". Is it crazy that I am so disconnected with coke the beverage (as in never have drunk a whole one myself) that I think of the drug (which has never been featured prominently in my life) first. Story looks different now! Back on track!

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 23, 2012
at 09:26 PM

The only reason why I'm a boring fuck and not an aggressive psychopath is the sugar :). Never again will I eliminate sugar, I think it was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made in my life.

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10 Answers

8
41dfb1a4fecb38d24075ff52f13ccb28

on July 23, 2012
at 09:23 PM

If you read your post back to yourself, I think you answered your own question.

You were stressed -> Your health went to hell

You started having fun -> You looked and felt better.

You got stressed again -> Your health went to hell again.

Take a look at this list of 50 common signs and symptoms of stress. Any of it sound familiar?

At this point, I don't think it's down to what you eat anymore. Some, maybe, but I don't think that's the main point. In a lot of ways, I think stress is probably even more important than what we put in our mouths.

I think the goal here at this point is to worry a bit less about what you're eating, and see if you can find something that you truly enjoy doing. And yes, I know how hard that is. I've been going through something similar for a number of years now, but once I realized how much I was killing myself, I started doing something about it. And I can now say that, while not everything is fixed, I am making progress. I even have a job interview tomorrow morning so I can (hopefully) leave my current job (the main cause of my problems) and do something I will actually enjoy. (I wouldn't ordinarily discuss this in public, but my boss already knows I am burnt out on my current profession and am thinking about moving on.) You don't have to solve everything overnight, but once you start taking steps forward, other things start to fall in line.

I'm not even going to kid you and say it's easy. It's not, but the benefits far outweigh the work. As a start, you need to have fun. Say "screw it all" for a day, and go have a blast.

I would also recommend watching a documentary called Stress: Portrait of a Killer. It's on netflix streaming, so you don't have to buy it.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 23, 2012
at 09:29 PM

*"At this point, I don't think it's down to what you eat anymore."* Yes, I think that's a fair thing to say. It's just so hard having a blast when you're stressed ... :(

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 23, 2012
at 10:11 PM

Yeah that's true :D, I probably should go out more. I've tried to do so lately but often it means I end up taking drugs. Some drugs don't make me worse at all, actually make me better but still, I'd rather do it without them.

5ccb98f6ae42ce87e206cf3f6a86039f

(11581)

on July 24, 2012
at 12:11 AM

If you are periodically still taking drugs, you need to look at that issue before thinking it's your diet or need for sugar or whatever.

41dfb1a4fecb38d24075ff52f13ccb28

on July 23, 2012
at 09:32 PM

I get it man. I totally do. I spent more time on my couch sulking than I'd like to admit. Sometimes you have to drag yourself kicking and screaming just to get started. But once you start... you know, momentum and all.. it just keeps rolling.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 24, 2012
at 08:37 AM

I'll stop the drugs, it's not like I'm addicted anyways. But I wasn't really hoping for diet advice anyways. I think I've pretty much tried it all for at least 5 weeks and most of the time even longer (3 months calorie restriction conventional 'healthy diet, 5 months raw veganism, 2 months normal paleo, 7 months auto-immune paleo, 5 weeks zc, ...). I'm afraid that right now, the only thing missing is a joyful life. And it's so hard to take care of that.

5
93eea7754e6e94b6085dbabbb48c0bb7

on July 23, 2012
at 09:34 PM

Google meditation. No seriously, it helps immensely.

Also, I'm sorry you feel distraught right now. The only thing that seems to help me when I am having issues is a strong support system. Do you have a good influence who can be there to listen, encourage, and support you? It could be a parent, a cousin, or your dog. Sometimes I would write it out. Talking things out helps. Do things one at a time. Nothing will make you feel better though than the fuel you put in your body. So try to keep your eating solid (food journal it if you want) and get some vitamin d. When I was deficient it really caused some depression. Once you have gotten that in check move to sleep. Nothing has healed me more than a strict sleep schedule. It's hard work and an ongoin process, but this is your life. It's only one roller coaster ride so try to straighten it out now while you are young and still vivacious. And us posters on here are only average people. After meditation and a support system, a good certified healer (doesn't have to be a psychologist or a doc--- maybe acupuncture?) could help.

Hope this helps a little :).

93eea7754e6e94b6085dbabbb48c0bb7

on July 23, 2012
at 10:04 PM

The effects you get with lSD u can get with meditation. No seriously it can be euphoric. But I'm warning you it's unbearable at first. Well the best type is to just sit on the floor in a room for 5 minutes! That's it!! And just breath in and out. And notice your breathing and focus on it. That's it. For 5 minutes. Complete presence. And after 1 minute if you think damn this sucks, well that's a thought, gotta dispel it. Or if you think wow I'm doing great, nope that's an ego thought too. Your ego screams not to do this practice but it's so fucking good for you.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 23, 2012
at 09:49 PM

Yeah I kinda made this post in retrospect on my life the past 2 years. I lost most of my best friends and my family due to my health problems. And then last time I didn't take vitamin D once and had aggression attacks again. I know a couple of drugs like lsd solve this and many other things for me but really i don't want to be a junkie forever. I think I wanna try accupuncture sometime though :D, seems a lot of fun haha! Thanks man! What kind of meditation? I gotta say I never was a big fan of changing the physical with the mental (I like the opposite though) but why not...

93eea7754e6e94b6085dbabbb48c0bb7

on July 24, 2012
at 01:17 PM

Haha glad to make you laugh Korion. But, seriously, that always happens to me!! I don't look at it an activity, but merely an addition to improving my well-being, just like everything we choose to do in life should be!

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 23, 2012
at 10:12 PM

*"And after 1 minute if you think damn this sucks"* hahaha that always happens :D! I'll try to kill my ego, your comment made me laugh.

6120c989fd5b69f42a0834b69b87955b

(24553)

on July 23, 2012
at 11:00 PM

It is like riding a bike, practice, practice, practice. It is okay to drift in and out, get distracted, etc., what you are working on is developing an ability to focus without judgement. The more times you bring yourself back to it, the closer you get to that giddy euphoria.

4
C8b2136ef95ba6aac211825ff38cc0e9

on July 24, 2012
at 12:01 AM

"Who cares about the money anyways :), it's about life :)" ~Korion

True.

So since it's a "life" hack, not just a diet hack and you've already seen meditation recommended, I'm curious about your college major/job. You are so young, so it might be a good time to look at career direction. I'm 37 and just finished massage school. Like a lot of people on this board I have food issues, mood issues, energy issues..... Those things can be hard for the average resilient person to understand. Massage school is the first time I felt able to focus on healing myself. I was led on a whole health journey!

Now I'm not sure if autism or your personality mix well with this particular field, but there are tons of other options and I saw people mention myofascial therapy and holistic/alternative practioners and "A" mentioned your stress levels vis a vis your current environment. My massage program gave me access to all of these things in an awesome human network of real health promotion (not band-aid health). So my suggestion is that maybe you should consider a career that allows you to help yourself and others (soooo many others with health issues) simultaneously. It's the best way I can think of to enjoy being a whole person and have access to amazing support lifelong if you are prone to stress dis-ease.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 24, 2012
at 01:10 PM

Ok worth trying :) Very difficult for me to do such things, I have this automatism where, if someone gets near me, I always step backwards (it's funny in class pictures). Ray Peat told me autism is linked to high serotonin and high serotonin leads to harm avoidance. Both niacinamide and lsd change me completely, I don't think I'm imagining things because people tell me that if I take those I constantly look everyone straight in their eyes, look very confident and look at the sky instead of at my feet. In a way I am grateful for experiencing all this, because it's a somewhat of a privilege.

C8b2136ef95ba6aac211825ff38cc0e9

(971)

on July 24, 2012
at 03:59 PM

That's really interesting, Korion. Your path could end up being more related to autism than something touchy. Or it could just be something that really works well with you personality. Hopefully you can embrace who you are and work with your strengths and weaknesses.

4
6120c989fd5b69f42a0834b69b87955b

(24553)

on July 23, 2012
at 09:30 PM

First and foremost, if your jaw is dislocated you need to see a doctor, physical therapist, or myofascial therapist that can set it back where it is supposed to go, you mentioned it multiples times, so I suspect it is really bugging you.

Only so much can be hacked on our own. With things like inflammation there can be too many unknown unknowns for us to tackle on our own, time for some professional help, a holistic nutritionist and a good naturopath would be good allies on this journey, if only because the office visits are long enough to fully discuss what issues you are facing. They will have a broader perspective about what could be happening, and have the ability to do tests unavailable to you on your own, who knows, there could be some sort of viral or bacterial infection at the root of your inflammation. There are also inherent gut permeability issues with autism, and while dietary changes can be helpful, there may be limit to what they can do for you. There's no shame in taking medication you need, and a naturopath might have ideas if there are any side effects that are bothering you.

I commend your initiative to take responsibility for your own health, but there are limits to what we can do for ourselves.

Edit Addendum: I don't know a ton about autism, but I believe there is often compromised liver health which can screw up pretty much anything in your body, and gut permeability (allowing inflammatory proteins and pathogens into the blood stream). You might want to try adding some liver support to your routine, like dandelion and milk thistle, especially if you are eating sugar because it has a tendency to impact the detox pathways in the liver itself. For the gut lining, broth, gelatin, and glutamine are supposed to help.

If you are feeling kinda dull/hazy, but "good" with added sucrose in your diet, that makes me think candida, which is crazy common, and can cause both of those feelings when it is systemic. Candida die-off can be a bitch, causing all sorts of freaky side effects, and can be misinterpreted as getting worse if you suddenly feel like crap limiting sugars. Again this is something you'd want to sleuth out with a naturopath because it is important to have perspective and outside monitoring if doing a candida protocol, and if you don't have an issue with candida, who wants to go through all those dietary hoops and take the supplements/meds just for the hell of it. Test, test, test, you've done your due diligence stabbing away in the dark, it is time to find out what issues you are really fighting.

93eea7754e6e94b6085dbabbb48c0bb7

on July 23, 2012
at 09:36 PM

+1 couldn't have said it better with looking to professionals for help!

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 23, 2012
at 10:15 PM

What meds would you recommend, Happy Now (currently am experimenting with cynoplus)? If my temperature is 37 degrees celsius I never have any problems at all. Niacinamide often raises my temperature to that level.

6120c989fd5b69f42a0834b69b87955b

(24553)

on July 23, 2012
at 10:46 PM

Have you had an actual thyroid panel done? If not, I wouldn't monkey around with thyroid meds on your own, it needs to be monitored by regular testing, because it is easy to go from hypo to hyper, which has its own set of problems. I don't really know anything about cynoplus, except that a quick search showed it is T3 only. Do you need a prescription, is it over the counter, or in the murky semi-legal area where you can order it online? I was under the impression that anything OTC had all the active compounds removed. I was on Armour, and did testing every 3-6 mo. to adjust the dosage.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 23, 2012
at 09:36 PM

But thank you, I will be looking for help :). Maybe that's gonna give me some social amusement too :)

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 23, 2012
at 10:43 PM

Well I kinda know what causes my autism. I actually felt better at first when cutting out sugar, the 8 months after that it got worse and worse until I reintroduced sugar then it started getting better again. And for autism I think my problem is serotonin since lsd makes removes all my social issues in a sec. I then get extremely confident but not in a stupid way, just confident, calm, happy and playful.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 23, 2012
at 09:36 PM

Well it's a weird thing with that jaw. I only noticed it when I saw photographs of myself of the last 10 years. It seems to be moving backwards and forwards as if the cartilage is messing around. I don't know if I'm imagining things, but last time I felt really bad and suddenly my jaw started making sounds and I looked in the mirror and it looked like my face got longer :P. It happened a couple of times before that, and it seems to solve itself. I contacted Ray Peat and he said the cartilage can mess around when you're hypothyroid due to changes in mineral balance...

6120c989fd5b69f42a0834b69b87955b

(24553)

on July 23, 2012
at 11:05 PM

I wonder if a lesser strength psylocybin tea might be a better choice, or at least not run you out of brain chemistry as quickly.

6120c989fd5b69f42a0834b69b87955b

(24553)

on July 23, 2012
at 09:46 PM

Are you on thyroid meds? They made a huge difference for me. It was transient hypothyroidism, so I was able to go off them after about 7 years, but I'm not sure where I'd be now if I had never gone on them.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 23, 2012
at 10:44 PM

But I don't know what it'll do long-term if I keep using it and it scares me a bit because it's really powerful.

6120c989fd5b69f42a0834b69b87955b

(24553)

on July 23, 2012
at 10:56 PM

I'm not sure long term use of LSD would be wise, I had (notice the past tense here) a buddy who seemed to erase his conscience doing that. It might get you to a better place temporarily, but I think there is a price to be paid in even greater serotonin deficiency afterwards. My own emotions got flatter and more misanthropic the more times I used it. Meditation did wonders for me bringing back my compassion and increasing serotonin to healthy levels.

3
3dd59bff899261860c0bdaae8540cc70

on July 23, 2012
at 10:13 PM

Dude I understand the aggression thing and the brain issues-never got tested for autism but i can relate-I went Zero Carb a couple months ago;now I'm calm as a Hindu cow. Seriously. I can focus and my moods stay very stable as does my energy.

ZC isn't for everyone but it def handled my issues.

I'm also a "nocturnal person", and by that I mean I just do not function during the day and Im way more productive in the evening and at night. I throw stock at a grocery store overnight-been at it for years(extremely hard work btw-80% newbie failure rate). I don't deal well with stress at all-like Chinese water torture bullshit stress.

I had a high paying corporate type job that was killing me-I despise the kind of stress that comes with that so I left it and became a poor ass grocery stocker-BUT I'm RIPPED!!!lol Seriously though all the physical activity just makes me feel awesome and then I go home and sleep like a baby.

Anyway, these things pretty much changed my life for the better. I'm not really trying to get you to do any of this-more just trying to show you another way somebody else with similar problems got out.

BTW-your hair kicks ass dude. Seriously rad.

Hope you find a way out of your particular hell. :)

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 23, 2012
at 10:24 PM

Thank you Daniel! ZC messed me up really bad (constant digestion issues for 5 weeks) but it was better than VLC. I'm nocturnal too, in the evening I always get very happy and energetic which can be quite handy when going out. And my hair did kick ass hahaha until it started falling out, thinned out, and is now a horrible mess. It's getting better again though. *"and became a poor ass grocery stocker-BUT I'm RIPPED"* hahahaha that's awesome! Who cares about the money anyways :), it's about life :)

3
5ccb98f6ae42ce87e206cf3f6a86039f

(11581)

on July 23, 2012
at 09:17 PM

#1 Get off the sugar roller coaster. Seriously. Sugar = inflammation. Ray Peat is a loon.

Go with a sane paleo diet like the Whole9/Whole30 people or Robb Wolf or Mark Sisson recommend. Pick the one of these that looks right for you and stick with it for a couple of months. Don't experiment during that time.

Make sure all your other lifestyle factors are in line. Sleep, activity, fresh air, clean living.

Have a doctor take a look at you. You could have some serious problems after that kind of lifestyle.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 23, 2012
at 09:26 PM

The only reason why I'm a boring fuck and not an aggressive psychopath is the sugar :). Never again will I eliminate sugar, I think it was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made in my life.

5ccb98f6ae42ce87e206cf3f6a86039f

(11581)

on July 23, 2012
at 10:06 PM

It's not unusual to have some pretty bad mood swings when going off sugar. They normally get better after a couple of weeks. If not, something else is going on. Your hormone levels are probably all messed up with stress and all and the sugar could be giving you enough short term boost to feel better. The problem is that it's temporary and not sustainable to eat that much sugar. Your body will suffer. You may need to talk to someone about better ways to deal with moods. Sugar can be used to self medicate just like other white powders. They don't solve the base problems.

2
F5a0ddffcf9ef5beca864050f090a790

(15515)

on July 24, 2012
at 01:52 AM

Korion, don't give up. We all went through a period in our lives when nothing seem to go right. You are very cute and just because it did not work out with one girl, it does not mean it won't work out with the rest of them. Girls are like buses, really, the next one comes along in 15 minutes :)

For starters, I would stop using drugs. I know, you feel it is your only way to have fun. Unfortunately, drugs is a one-way street - to a dead end. What happens is your brain re-wires itself to get artificial pleasures from drugs, not from real life. Drugs do it little by little, they damage you in such a way that at one point there is no return. You are too young, too nice and too cute to destroy your life like that. If nothing else will convince you, think of it this way: drugs alter your genetic makeup, think about the kids you will have. You don't want them to suffer because you want to have fun?

For your hair and stuff... This won't be popular on this site, but I think you should try supplementing with biotin and make sure you get enough vitamin B complex. I also think (sorry, just don't think bad of me) that Ray Peat is a little... off. So I would follow some of his advice, but not entirely. I would trust my body before I would trust Ray Peat.

I am not a doctor and I have enough issues on my own (I suddenly realized that most of those issues were brought up by following my doctor's orders, like taking PPI and such), but I believe you should find a good naturopath and try to eat more raw vegetables in addition to what you are already doing. RAW vegetables will help with your enzymes that might take care of some inflammation.

Also, if you find a good chiropractor, he might help you with your jaw. It sounds like it bothers you.

Above all, make sure to believe in yourself. You are a smart and good-natured kid, I doubt how autistic you are (I have had quite a few autistic students and you do not fit the description by any means). I think you have a bright future ahead of you (if you stop taking drugs).

You will get through it. Don't worry. Your little green dinosaur will win the race in the end.

A little off-side note - your hair is quite long (not sure if it is still long) and you might want to find a good hair stylist. A real professional can change your whole look, not just your hair. I used to cut my mom's hair so this is the first thing I notice when I look at people. But you look cute even with long hair.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 24, 2012
at 01:06 PM

Yes I have, most of them just treat the big symptoms that they have to deal with often and for which they have medication ready (eg. infections and allergies, they always gave antihistamines and antibiotics and if I tell them it doesn't work they almost ignore what I say or just give me another brand of the same medication). When I tell them I have lots of skin inflammation or my hair is flat and has no volume they think I just want attention. I don't blame them, they never experienced really bad health so I guess it's hard for them to understand it.

F5a0ddffcf9ef5beca864050f090a790

(15515)

on July 24, 2012
at 05:54 PM

Check out that link that I posted and ... I hope you find some solution - I wish I could help more :)

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 24, 2012
at 08:40 AM

If you look closely you'll understand what I mean with dislocated jaw. You can see my jaw goes a bit forward, and is a bit bigger. As long as that's the case, I'll want long hair to compensate for that. Ray Peat speculated that the jaw might be moving around due to mineral imbalance due to hypothyroidism, he said he saw it happen before and that he solved worse cases. Thanks VB :)

F5a0ddffcf9ef5beca864050f090a790

(15515)

on July 24, 2012
at 02:05 PM

As for your dislocated jaw - I have to be honest with you - I cannot notice it at all. I think you see it because you focus on it, but other people do not look at you the same way you see yourself. They just look at the whole person, not a part of your face. Plus, just so you know, each person has some flaw - either a nose or ears or teeth. Consider yourself lucky, your jaw looks absolutely fine to me. If it brings you discomfort you need to figure out how to solve this.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 24, 2012
at 01:07 PM

I have found someone in real life with the exact same problems, but not on the internet...

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 24, 2012
at 05:40 PM

Oh I don't really care about how I look overall (I mean yes I care but it's not like I'm gonna be depressed that I'm not symmetric), it's just that it clearly moves. It pops and sometimes, when I'm doing really bad, it makes a big crack sound and when I look at myself then I look really stupid. I don't have photographs of that because I don't have the guts to make pictures of it. When I open my mouth I sometimes get afraid I won't be able to close it anymore, and on zero carb this got really bad that's why I think there's something weird happening and I wanna solve it :)

F5a0ddffcf9ef5beca864050f090a790

(15515)

on July 24, 2012
at 02:10 PM

Most mainstream doctors are beyond horrible, not because they want to be horrible, it is just the medical science is not so advanced. So if I were you, I would look around for a good naturopath. How does that person in real life deal with his/her problems? I know I repeat myself, but you really should try getting off drugs. It does not sound like you are ready to do it, but I really really hope you will consider it for your sake, sooner or later. Good luck and remember - it is going to be okay!

F5a0ddffcf9ef5beca864050f090a790

(15515)

on July 24, 2012
at 09:03 AM

Have you been to a regular doctor? You can ask for second opinion - you don't have to act on any advice that does not sound reasonable to you, but it won't hurt to know what other specialists might suggest. I would also search the Internet if anybody had a case like yours and found a solution.

F5a0ddffcf9ef5beca864050f090a790

(15515)

on July 24, 2012
at 04:47 PM

Oh, I found this - hope it is helpful: http://www.westonaprice.org/ask-the-doctor/acne

2
8d454fc50d6d58643d6f8b0d1e7ea8ea

on July 23, 2012
at 10:46 PM

I know you've tried a lot of diets, but have you considered GAPS? People w/ autism have had success - strict Paleo minus tubers would be GAPS compliant, with the addition of bone broth and probiotics. A lot of people get turned off by the intensity of the intro phase - personally, I've never done intro. I just do the full GAPS diet.

1
782d92f4127823bdfb2ddfcbcf961d0e

on July 24, 2012
at 10:24 PM

Korion, I don't think that I can provide you with any answers. The ones above are worth following, though. Just want to say, don't give up. You appear to be an interesting and thoughtful young man and I always enjoy reading your comments!

1
Fc25b41326b954c4e5b8ce0dabb889a6

on July 23, 2012
at 09:49 PM

My late hero used to say "you can't talk your way out of a situation you've behaved yourself into." (Stephen Covey).

Now, that being said, it would be nice to be like, "Oh, I wont cut excess sugar from my diet and I'll find another way to make my health problems go away." Life isn't that awesome and we aren't quite that lucky. If you're looking to figure out what is making you feel the way that you feel, then an elimination diet is the best way to figure out it. Whole30 is a good start. I've found that a month of whole30 helped me regain my former health and body and determine what my body is good with and what it isn't good with. After that, I reintroduced certain things and will occasionally enjoy things that aren't Paleo because "YOLO." When you're ready to actually take your health into your own hands and eliminate sugar and get back to real food, then ask some Paleo people what you should do to feel better without making the statement, "But I wont eliminate sugar." Get back to real food, get fat adapted, get back to giving your body what it needs for true gene expression, and get back to real health.

B0fe7b5a9a197cd293978150cbd9055f

(8938)

on July 23, 2012
at 10:18 PM

While I completely agree with that citation, I did cut excess sugar and all other supposed toxins from my diet for 8 months, but I got worse and worse and worse after initially getting better. It was very very hard for me to reintroduce sugar but I'll never eliminate it again after I saw what good it did to me. I understand your take on that, especiall since this is a paleo forum, but I completely changed my stance on sugar and now embrace it. PUFA is something else though, never will touch that one again :)

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